But if I only lose 1 pound, or even just half a pound, I’ll be OK with it. And it all comes down to control.
For the first time in years, I feel in control. I don’t feel like I’m depriving myself and I don’t feel like I have to be so incredibly careful with what I eat. I feel free, but still in control. I drink water, even though I don’t really like it. I sweat it out at the gym, even though I’d much rather lay around and read in my bed. I keep my portions sizes low and measure out everything, even as I laugh at how much I thought a serving of chicken was. (Seriously, a serving is small!)
I feel like I did in 2007, when I lost tons of weight and felt great about myself. My past weight loss attempts have been like grasping at straws. I wasn’t in the right mindframe to lose weight then. I am now. I’m scared to be a girl people look at as obese. I want to get healthy and thin before I have one store to shop in and cannot even walk up a flight of stairs before getting winded.
This control feels good. I know what I’m eating and I’m not tempted to cheat. I have my breakfast lined up, my lunch lined up, and dinner has become fun to plan. Since my mom is doing it, too, (she’s lost 7 pounds in 2 weeks!) it’s been so much easier to plan and stay in control. We’re both in this together and have been scouring recipe cookbooks and websites to find new, healthy recipes to try.
And while I’m not doing everything right, I’m doing the best I can right now. I know I need to cut down on my snacking, drink more water, get in higher-intensity workouts, and find more filling breakfast options and lunch options. But I’m happy with the progress I’ve made so far. I’m happy with the way I feel. I’m happy that I can turn down donuts and brownies without even blinking.
And today I gave in to a temptation. We had pizza at work. I had 2 of the smallest slices I could find and I don’t regret it. It was a craving, I had it, I counted the points for it, and I’ve moved on. This is why I love the Weight Watchers program. It’s not about depriving, it’s about living healthier. Turning down temptations we don’t really need, learning about hunger signals and boredom signals, using correct portion sizes, and tracking what we eat. While it’s not impossible to lose weight without tracking, it’s easier and a better indicator of what you’re eating and what nutrients you’re not getting enough of.
I know I’m going to encounter plateaus. I know I’m going to have weeks where it becomes a chore to exercise and eat healthy. But the feeling of accomplishment this program has been bringing me is a billion times better than any brownie could taste. And I found a weight-loss buddy to check in with and call when those cookies seem to be calling my name. We text each other what we ate every night and give each other encouragement and praise. It’s something that’s really keeping me going.
What about you? Do you feel in control of your eating habits right now? When was the last time you felt completely out of control?