Feeling: Content and happy. I’ve been feeling really good about where I am and where I want to go lately. While not everything in my life is where I want it (see: weight issues and my lackluster dating life), I can’t help but love this place I am right now. That said, being a generally anxious person means I’m constantly on my guard and waiting for the next shoe to drop. It’s so hard to be happy when you live with anxiety because you’re always waiting for something bad to happen. I am trying my best to live in this moment and just be happy for the sake of being happy. It’s a work in progress.
Reading: Looking for Alaska by John Green. I’ve read two of his books: The Fault in Our Stars, which I absolutely loved, and Paper Towns, which I did not love. It’s a little slow right now but I’m only about 50 pages in so I’m hoping it picks up soon.
Watching: Big Brother and tonight is finale night! I know I’m not in the minority when I say this season has been pretty horrible. The contestants have been really boring and nobody really played the game the way it is meant to be played. (Not to mention all the racist and homophobic things that were said in the beginning of the game. Though I think Aaryn is truly remorseful and I really believe she learned a big life lesson from this show.) I really do not care for anybody in the final three but if I had to choose someone to win, it would be Gina-Marie. She made some big moves, at least, and that’s way more than we can say for Spencer or Andy. At the very least, I am looking forward to good ole Dr. Will coming back to grill the houseguests. Should be interesting!
Anticipating: Ordering my iPhone 5S on Friday! I have been eligible for a phone upgrade since early summer, but I haven’t been in the right financial place to justify spending $200 on a phone when my old one works perfectly fine. But since my 2-year contract expires soon, I know I need to bite the bullet and get a new phone. Plus, I’m still rocking the iPhone 4 so this will be a huge upgrade for me. I can’t wait!
Wishing: To go on a really good date. As I mentioned above, my dating life has been so lackluster. OK Cupid has left me feeling more and more disenchanted. (The last guy who messaged me on there asked me how I felt about casual sex. Lovely. Just lovely.) I’m not unhappy being single, exactly, because in some ways it’s really great but I just miss that special feeling of going on dates and getting to know someone and being with them. And the last date I went on was so dull, I’m at this place when I’m wondering when it will ever happen for me. If ever.
Thinking: About birthday plans! My birthday is on Thanksgiving this year, which I’m excited about. I plan on participating in the Turkey Trot 5K, eating a delicious dinner, and celebrating with my family. But I’m also aching to do something more than that, because I always love celebrating my birthday in a fun way. My heart is nudging me towards a long weekend in Orlando and visiting Islands of Adventure and Universal Studios (I haven’t visited either park in over 3 years) because weekends in Orlando are just my absolute favorite. They also aren’t cheap. If I don’t end up going to Orlando, I’m thinking about a night out at a real fancy dinner spot (just not sure where yet!) and then a tattoo appointment for the tattoo that’s been on my mind for over a year now. Decisions, decisions!
Loving: Lazy Friday afternoons, pool time, cooler mornings, football being back and the Dolphins actually playing really well, running again, the Christina Perri Pandora station, winning the football pool at work, and it being fall premiere season.
What are you most excited about right now?