A little more than 6 months ago, I sat down at my computer and came up with a list of resolutions for the New Year. I’ve never been big on setting resolutions since I know they’re scoffed at and never accomplished. By the third week of January, you fall back onto your old habits and forget what you even said you wanted to do.
The first year I ever really sat down, thought it through, and came up with a list of resolutions for the new year, was in 2009. I came up with the cute idea of “9 Resolutions for 2009”. Unfortunately, I didn’t achieve any of the resolutions I came up with. Last year was a pretty mediocre year for me and I really tried to focus on areas of my life that I felt the most out of control with, and what I needed to do to fix them.
Area #1: Finances
I have three credit card bills. Credit limits on them are: $300, $500, and $2,500. The credit card with the largest limit, we’ll call it PIMA, I haven’t paid for in a good 6 months. My minimum payment is through the roof, I owe more than $2,500, and it’s sitting in a collection agency. This is never a scenario I thought I would be in. Ever. My parents dealt with the same money problems and I always swore I would never be like them. For now, though, PIMA is a credit card I pretend I don’t have.
The other two are much more manageable. I’m working on paying off the lowest one first but I should probably tell you that this credit card is from Target. Meaning I can go into Target and be all, “I HAVE FREE MONEY! WOOHOO!” I mean, you all know how tough it is not to spend over $50 at Target when you don’t have a credit card…imagine having a credit card to be used solely at Target. Earlier this year, I had my balance about $100 away from being paid off. And then I used it. I have a little less than $200 until it’s paid off, but it probably won’t get paid off until September at the earliest. Once I do get this paid off, I’m cutting it up and getting rid of it for good. It’s really a useless credit card and charges an insane finance charge.
My middle credit card was the one I received from my bank when I opened at checking account in May 2006. Up until this past year, I’ve been good about using it and then paying off the balance the next month. And then things got a little crazy with me being out of work for 6 months in 2008 and I’m still hovering just about the maxed-out zone. I want to get this one back up to it’s $500 balance and this is the only credit card, once I pay off PIMA, that I want to keep. The balance is one where I can’t go crazy and rack up thousands of dollars, plus it has a lot more incentive to keep than do Target/PIMA. I’m hoping to have this one taken care of by the end of the year.
Area #2: Faith
I’ve had long and detailed blog posts, discussing this portion of my life. Suffice it to say, I’m a lazy Christian. I have faith, I know what I believe in, but I don’t put forth the effort in the relationship. I just meander along, attending church and reading my Bible once a month but that’s about it. I don’t pray (unless I have to), I don’t have a consistent Bible study life, and I don’t do anything to grow my faith.
I also think I’m suffering from the Perfect Christian Syndrome, where I want every area of my faith walk to be perfect. I want to be totally involved in the World, totally involved in church, and totally head-over-heels for God. I need to slow down, remind myself that I am human, and focus on the little things.
Area #3: Health
Here’s the part where I roll my eyes, bang my head against the desk, and whine that “fat is in.” While I have great weeks where the pounds seem to be flying off, my clothes feel amazing on my body, and I have no temptation whatever…lately it seems to be one temptation after the other. I’ve gained about 4 pounds in the past 2 weeks. I’m giving myself headaches because I’m thinking so hard about not giving into the temptations to where I just say “Screw it” and eat the junk.
I’ve come to realize how dependent I am upon Weight Watchers. The weeks where there’s no meeting scheduled due to holidays, I fall apart. I try to be good, but then I realize there’s no weigh-in so it’s a free-for-all. (And by the way, be good? Why do I call it being good? Shouldn’t being good be normal for me?!) I was thinking of stopping WW and trying to do it on my own and be motivated by my own accomplishments, not because Phil’s going to weigh me in on Sunday morning and I do not want to hear, “You’re up a little this week,” one more time. But after a pretty bad day of eating junk, I know I need WW. If it keeps me healthy, then it’s worth it.
I realize my blog seems to be turning into some sort of goal journal where I just write down what I want to accomplish in the next 30 days or whatever time frame I give it. I was hesitant to write this post because it seems to be repetitive of the last few weeks. But I did it because I’m done with setting goals I have no intention of achieving. I need to focus on these three areas first, making small changes that lead to bigger ones, before I can figure out other parts of my life.
So here we go: I’m going to write down 3 goals, each relating to the 3 areas, with no time frame giving for completing them. I’m just going to keep these goals in mind and I won’t set a new one until I have either achieved the goal or feel as if I did.
Area #1: Finance
I want to pay off my Target credit card. When this is paid off, I will focus on setting a new goal in this area. For now, my only focus is Target.
Area #2: Faith
I want to have a consistent Bible study time. Even though I know there are other areas I need to work on, for now I want to just focus on getting in 15-20 minutes a day with God. Once I feel that this is a natural part of my day, I can focus on other goals.
Area #3: Health
I want to be a consistent exercise-r. Those weeks where I just completely fall off the wagon, I seem to find it easy to fall off the exercise wagon as well. I want to exercise 5 days a week for at least an hour, even on those weeks where I know I’m going to gain weight on the scale. This is a health journey, not a weight loss journey. I need to remember that.
Who knows when I’ll update again?! I promise to wait awhile before I talk about my goals again. I want to have at least accomplished one of these before I set new ones. The first goal will be easy to know when I accomplished it, but the other two will take a lot of self-awareness on my end to know when I feel I’ve formed these habits.
The bottom line is, these are the goals I’m setting for myself with no timeline in place. I think it will do wonders for my happiness and well-being if I can achieve them and form habits from them.