Hey, hey! Happy Friday! I am having my first slow weekend in WEEKS and I couldn’t be happier about it. I need a weekend like this because for the past few days, my anxiety has felt a little unmanageable. Sunday will be a busy day with a Starbucks writing date and celebrating my brother’s birthday, but Friday and Saturday should be low key and plan free. Yay!
1) If you could master any one skill, what would you choose?
I would love to learn how to be a better conversationalist. I am always so in awe of people who can have long and interesting discussions with just about anyone they meet because I sometimes struggle with keeping a conversation going even with close friends! I know it’s the “introvert way” to say we cherish deep conversations and hate small talk, and while that’s true for me, I also would love to be great at small talk. It would just be nice to be able to have a normal conversation with someone, without losing my words or having long, awkward silences.
2) How do you spend the first hour of your day?
Usually, it entails going for a 30-minute walk around my apartment complex so I can get my steps in and then getting ready for my work day. I’ll take a shower, decide if I want to blow dry my hair or not, do my makeup, and then pack my lunch and prepare my coffee. (Okay, so this is more like the first hour-and-a-half of my day, ha.) I’m very slow in the morning as I’m getting ready, as I’d rather wake up a little earlier and take my time getting ready than sleep in and have to rush around.
3) When you look back on the past five years, what do you feel most proud of?
I’m proud of building a happy, fulfilling single life. I am ridiculously proud of that. I have an active social life, a group of friends who I’ve traveled with and have carried me through some really tough times. I have a strong relationship with my mom and brother, and my mom remains my best friend to this day. I am financially secure and able to live on my own. I have a job that I enjoy and plenty of hobbies to keep me busy. My life may not include a partner at this moment, and it may not have the children I thought I’d have at this age, but that’s okay. It may never include a partner or children, and that’s okay, too. I’ve built a happy life as a single person, and that’s something nobody can take away from me.
4) What is one of your biggest fears or insecurities?
Since fears and insecurities are two separate things, I have a different answer for both.
My biggest fear is losing a close family member, like my mom or my brother. If I’m woken up in the middle of the night, my first thought it always that I’m having a premonition that someone has died. Which then leads me to a panic attack, which is always fun. The best thing I know to do to handle this fear is to just take deep breaths and remind myself if something tragic were to happen, I will be okay and I will get through it.
My biggest insecurity is my weight. I really, really wish I was someone who had high self-esteem and positive body image, but I don’t because I live in a fat-phobic society that tells me daily that my body is not ideal. I’m really working on cultivating a better self image, and not by being on a crazy diet to lose a bunch of weight. I just want to be happy with myself as I am today and not wrinkle my nose at my reflection in the mirror. I don’t deserve that kind of treatment, you know?
5) What do you want to be known and remembered for?
I want to be known and remembered as someone who people trusted with their biggest thoughts and feelings. I want people to feel that they can come to me to be a nonjudgmental listening ear and to give good advice when they need it. I just want to be there for people and to know I served them in the best way I knew how.
What’s a skill you’d love to master?