Stephany Writes

6 Small Goals for October

It’s a shiny new month, which means it’s time for shiny new goals. But first, let’s take a look back on my September goals to see how well (or not well) I did:

1) No more shopping. Oh, boy, I had such a hard time with this goal and I ended up failing the last week of September. I bought a few unnecessary items at Target like a t-shirt and shower curtain, and then I caved and bought something that was sitting in my Amazon cart for weeks (a Bluetooth shower speaker so I can listen to podcasts while I shower because my obsession knows zero bounds). So, all in all, I was not successful with this goal.

2) Walk 10,000 steps every day. I did this most days, and I made the conscious decision not to on certain days. Sometimes, it was due to mental health struggles and knowing I needed rest more than I needed steps. Other times, it was just my body letting me know that I need to take a break and let my body heal. (More about that in a minute.) I love this goal, though, and my plan going forward is to walk 10k five times a week.

3) Eat three home-cooked meals a week. Nope. I made my first recipe in months this week, so I did not accomplish this goal at all in September. It’s just so much easier to get takeout!

4) Schedule a facial. Complete! Unfortunately, I couldn’t get in until the first week of November. (Mostly due to my schedule because there were definitely times available before then.) Oh, well. It will be a nice treat to begin my birthday month with, right?

5) Sell my sectional. Complete! It took over three weeks, but it’s sold and out of my apartment. I just love being able to open my blinds and walk out to my patio without having to climb over my couch to do so.

6) Cultivate a better nighttime routine. I wrote about it, does that count? Ah, well. Why do the hours in the evening go by so fast? As I’m writing this post, it’s nearing 9pm and I don’t feel like I’ve done anything more than make dinner, watch an episode of The Office, and take a bubble bath. How did that take three whole hours? Sigh.

Three complete(ish) out of six. Not my best, not my worst. I’m holding out hope that October will be a much more successful month, and I’ve got some interesting plans in store:

1) Figure out what’s causing all my back and foot pain. I’ve been having sacrum pain for weeks and weeks now (originally thought a massage would help, but it didn’t), so I finally scheduled an appointment with a chiropractor to get it looked at. I’m also going to talk to the chiropractor about the foot pain I’ve been having for the past few weeks. Walking has started to become really uncomfortable (not so much when I’m wearing my supportive running shoes, but definitely when I’m barefoot or wearing sandals or flats), and my joints crack like crazy whenever I stand up and walk a few steps. I may need to see a podiatrist for this, but I’ll start with a chiropractor and go from there. Oy vey, getting old is so much fun!

2) Prepare my home for kittens. I’m not sure if I’ll be adopting kittens in October (it’s a really busy month for me and I won’t have a ton of time to check out animal shelters), but I do have just about everything I need. I placed a huge order on Chewy.com over the weekend and now I just need to put some of the items together so my house is kitten-ready for whenever the time comes.

3) Get ready for NaNoWriMo. Yep – I’m attempting this challenge again this year! I have been working on my plot outline for awhile now and I want to put the finishing touches on it this month, so I’m totally ready to start writing on November 1st.

4) Buy some new bras. So, confession: I’ve been buying my bras at Target for a long time now. I just cannot fathom spending more than $30 on a bra, even though it’s something I wear daily and is a pretty important part of my wardrobe. Unfortunately, the wire in one of my bras snapped recently so I’m down to just one bra and I think I’m ready to invest in a good bra. No more Target bras! I was thinking about trying out Thirdlove, since it’s raved about on every podcast I listen to, but if anyone has a recommendation for a different brand to try, I’m all ears.

5) Journal every night. I decided to do this after I had my second therapy appointment where I forgot just about everything I wanted to talk about (a fun side effect of social anxiety). Thankfully, we found plenty to talk about but I’d like to have a place to figure out what sorts of things I’d like to talk about in therapy. I’ve already started this process, and I’m just reflecting on my day using a series of prompts (what made me proud today? what was I grateful for? what was hard about today?). We’ll see how it helps, but I’m enjoying it so far!

6) Do something politically engaging. How’s that for a vague goal? I don’t know what I want to do yet – maybe phone banking – but I do know that I can do something rather than complaining about everything that’s happening and feeling helpless.

What’s something you’d like to accomplish this month?

Monthly Recap | September 2018

It’s October! It’s the last quarter of 2018! What even happened to this year? No matter – we’re entering my favorite time of the year, so I am ready for all these next few months have to bring. Give me pumpkin-scented candles, cooler weather, peppermint mochas, and the holiday season. I am ready.

Here’s what September looked like in my world:

Books

I read 10 books in September, bringing my yearly total to 103. So, I already met my reading goal for the year! That’s cool. I’m not going to change my reading goal; just going to keep trucking along and see how many more books I can read before 2018 is over.

I loved Sleigh Bells in the Snow, which was just a really sweet and fun contemporary romance. I listened to A Million Junes on audiobook and it was fantastic. I’m not one of magical realism, but it worked for this novel. Our book club pick for September was Red Clocks and I was not a fan. I listened to The Meaning of Michelle on audiobook and loved it so much. Taking Fire was an okay romantic suspense novel, but had my least-favorite romance trope, ugh. I read Persuasion to fulfill my goal of reading four classic novels this year and decided that Jane Austen is not for me. Come as You Are was life-changing and made me feel a lot more normal about sex. I think it is a must read for any woman. I finished up the Never, Never trilogy by reading part three and didn’t like the twist. Meh. Mr. Strange Beard was one of Penny Reid’s best and I had so much fun reading that novel. Fear by Bob Woodward was so fascinating and I listened to it on audiobook, which I think made the reading experience better for me. (Not sure if I would have made it through a print book!)

Movies

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (★★★☆☆) – A sweet movie, based on the book of the same name. I read the book and liked it, especially considering it gave us a different perspective of WWII. The movie was sweet and lovely and something most people would enjoy. It didn’t wow me in any way and probably wouldn’t watch it again, but I’m glad I gave it a watch.

The Hangover (★★★★☆) – Can you believe I’ve never seen this movie? Thankfully, I finally remedied that this month and watched it. It was hilarious and fun and ridiculous, and pretty much what I expected from a movie like this. I’m definitely going to check out the sequels in the coming months!

The Big Sick (★★★☆☆) – I put up a poll on Instagram one Saturday, asking people to vote between The Big Sick or Trainwreck. I had a few people express very strong dislike for Trainwreck, so thankfully, The Big Sick won! I enjoyed this movie, but some of the plot was hard to believe, even though I know the movie was loosely based on real-life events. (For example, if your best friend is sick in the hospital, why would you call her ex-boyfriend with whom she had a super nasty breakup to come stay with her? <– That may be spoiler-y.) Even still, it was a heartwarming movie and I loved all of the stand-up comedy, and I’d highly recommend it! (Just be aware, it’s very F-bomb heavy!)

Podcasts

I laughed my way through Ike Barinholtz’s episode on Armchair Expert, falling in love with him even more than I already was. Dax and Ike did so many impressions throughout the episode, and that’s the easiest way to make me laugh.

Call Your Girlfriend’s episode on white fragility is a must listen for white people. Unfortunately, I think the people who need to listen to this episode the most probably won’t.

Criminal had a really interesting episode featuring trauma surgeons, how they deal with gunshot victims both from a medical perspective and a personal one.

I’m so happy that Serial is back! There is nothing like Sarah Koenig in my ears again. Season three is exploring the law and court system by spending a year inside a Cleveland courthouse. I’ve listened to the first two episodes and they were pretty damn fantastic. I don’t think this season will be as all-consuming as season one (where I had to listen to the episodes immediately and spend all my time on Reddit forums), but I do think it will be much, much better than season two.

Posts

This month, I blogged about my ideal evening routine and you better believe I am spending October trying to make that ideal routine more of an everyday reality.

I also talked about my reading routines, showing how I make time for reading on a daily basis. This post seemed to encourage more people to give reading in bits and pieces (i.e., under 15 minutes) a try. Do it, do it.

Based on a question posed on my Instagram, I offered some advice on how to choose books to read, from making a monthly TBR to cultivating a reading syllabus.

Highlights

> September kicked off with a fun walk with Chip and my mom. We went to a nearby park that has a great (mostly shaded) two-mile trail. Chip had the best time and got a lot of his puppy energy out. Afterwards, we went to Starbucks for a quick breakfast and Chip had his first taste of whipped cream. (He’s a big fan.)

> My mom, my brother, my older nephew, and I did a fun bike tour in Safety Harbor. We all rode together in a surrey bike, although we all found the biking to be really difficult! We’ve done a surrey ride before, in downtown St. Pete, and don’t remember it being so physical. Whew! We went out for breakfast after the bike ride and it was a really fun afternoon!

> I had my first massage in almost a year in early September because I had been experiencing some lower back pain. The massage was fine, but the masseuse talked way too much and made the experience a little aggravating. Ugh.

> I started therapy! Finally! It’s going well so far. I’m not ready to say she’s “the one” as my therapist, but she could be. I’ve scheduled appointments with her every other week through November, so I think I’ll reassess after then. I will say that it’s been a much more positive experience than my previous therapist, as she’s great at asking questions that help me to open up. I always leave her office feeling a bit more hopeful about my life.

> I got my second tattoo, this one in remembrance of Dutch. I always knew I was going to get a dachshund tattoo for him and I am so, so happy with the way it turned out. It’s even better than I expected! I went to the same tattoo artist that did my book tattoo last year because I had such a positive experience with him, and yet again, he didn’t let me down.

 

> I tried to enjoy myself during a girls night out in Tampa on a Wednesday evening, but anxiety got the best of me. Sigh. There were a few days of recovering from being in such a high-anxiety state afterwards.

> My brother turned 32 and my nephew turned 10 this month! We celebrated my nephew’s birthday at an indoor trampoline park.

> Book club at Capital Tacos was an unexpectedly emotional night. I’m glad we all have each other and the support I get from these ladies is undeniable.

> Near the end of the month, I started having this weird eye pain/pressure/fatigue… I’m not really sure what to call it. My eyes just felt tired, as if just keeping my eyes open took all of my strength. I was also getting dizzy, so I scheduled an appointment at my eye doctor and had them dilate my eyes to make sure there wasn’t anything crazy going on. Good news is, I don’t have a crazy eye disease! The bad news is, I don’t know what was causing the eye issues. My eye doc said my eyes appeared a little dry, so he sent me home with a sample of eye drops and I used the drops a few times after that appointment, and my eyes are fine now. I’m really not sure if it was the eye drops that helped, but whatever works.

> I went to my local animal shelter to look at the kittens, and it solidified my decision to adopt kittens. I’m still feeling a little weird that I’m not going to have a dog in my home for the foreseeable future, but I also know my home will be just as sweet and happy with cats as it would with a dog.

Tell me a highlight of yours from September!

What I’m Reading (10.1.18)

What a weekend! I visited an animal shelter on Saturday and fell completely head over heels for two kittens. However, I did not seal the deal, even though a part of me wanted to. But I also felt a bit panicky about making a decision that fast. I only went to the shelter to look at the kittens and make sure this is really what I want to do. And I really, really do. I really, really want to adopt some kittens. So yay for that!

After my visit, I spent time perfecting my online shopping cart on Chewy.com so I would have everything I need to welcome kittens into my life, and finally pushed the order button on Sunday evening. I’m $200 poorer, but I cannot wait to get all of my items and get my apartment ready for my new babies!

(Also yes, I am continuing to check the shelter website to see if the kittens are still available. I’m going to take it as a sign that the kittens are meant to be mine if they’re still there this weekend. Sooo… we’ll see!)

Books Finished

Title: Dr. Strange Beard
Author: Penny Reid
Published: 2018
Format: Library e-book
Rating: ★★★★☆

Plot Summary: Simone and Roscoe were best friends until something happened when they were in high school, and Roscoe essentially “ghosted” her. Now, she’s back in town, working undercover at her mom’s restaurant and has to force her way back into Roscoe’s life for her case.

My Thoughts: This was a really fun read, one of Penny Reid’s better romances. I really loved the back-and-forth between Roscoe and Simone, even though it took them forever to go from enemies to friends to lovers. There was a really interesting side plot involving a racist cop and Simone (who is black) that I thought was dealt with sensitively. Since the author is white, this could have come across contrived, but it really didn’t. (However, as a white person myself, I’d be curious to read reviews from black readers to figure out if their reactions are the same.) This book had just the right amount of silliness and fun, and it was a great light-hearted companion to a much heavier book.

Title: Fear: Trump in the White House
Author: Bob Woodward
Published: 2018
Format: Library audiobook
Rating: ★★★★★

Plot Summary: Drawing on hundred of hours of interviews, meeting notes, and more, Bob Woodward offers readers an intimate look into what it’s really like being in the Trump White House.

My Thoughts: Well, it’s pretty obvious that I am no Donald Trump fan, and I was so excited to get my hands on this audiobook. I’ve been following what’s going on in the Trump presidency very closely, thanks to podcasts and a very informed Twitter feed, so this just felt like I was actually in the room when all of these decisions I heard about were happening. The book is written like a novel (and boy, do I wish it were one) and it gripped me from beginning to end. What I found the most interesting isn’t the way Trump acts as president, but the way everyone around him has to constantly assuage him and keep him from making stupid decisions. It’s a fascinating read and one I highly recommend.

What I’m Reading This Week

  • Home Front by Kristin Hannah – I have just about 100 pages left in this novel, and while it’s been a heavy read, I’m already sad about being finished with it. It’s one of Hannah’s better novels, that’s for sure, and my heart aches for every person in this story. Unless something crazy happens at the end, pretty sure this one is getting 5 stars from me.
  • On Second Thought by Kristan Higgins – I’m a little less than halfway through this novel, and ughhh, I just love it so much. It’s funny and I just love the way this author writes family dynamics. She’s the best at it.
  • The Book of Unknown Americans by Cristina Henriquez – I suggested this novel for book club, and everyone was on board, so I’m excited to finally read this novel. It’s been on my TBR list forever and I know it’s a favorite of so many readers. I can’t wait to start it!

What are you reading?

Currently in September

Loving… that I finally sold my sectional! I listed my sectional for sale the first weekend in September and I heard crickets for weeks. I kept lowering my asking price, took some better photos, but still, nothing. Until last weekend, when all of a sudden, I received a flurry of messages inquiring about it! I finally sold it to a woman on Saturday, and she and a few friends came by to pick it up. And, just like that, no more sectional! I’m really glad it’s finally gone – my apartment feels so much bigger now! I’ve ordered a new couch, but it’s going to take six weeks to get here. Womp!

Loathing… the heat. Oy vey, September is always a fairly miserable month in Florida because the heat is always so intense. We’re regularly seeing heat indexes over 100 degrees with UV levels in the high to extreme range. And forget about the humidity. It’s not fun. Very thankful for air conditioning, both in my car and in my apartment. (I always seem to forget that AC isn’t a given in every part of the country. You’d never rent/buy in Florida without central AC!)

Watching… not much lately. Wednesday was the Big Brother season finale, and I was really, really happy with the person who won. But I’m not really sure to do with my time now that I’m not watching Big Brother three nights a week and scouring Reddit forums for theories. Maybe I’ll be able to finish season three of Mad Men before the end of the year, heh.

Listening to… the Presidential podcast. Has anyone listened to this? It’s a documentary-style podcast about our presidents – going chronologically, each episode explores a president, how he got into office and the legacy he made. It starts with George Washington and ends with… well, you know who it ends with. It’s fascinating and I love that it’s not too dense and is easy to digest. However, it’s not a podcast I can put on in the background while I’m working. It requires active listening, so I typically listen to episodes while I’m on a walk. The podcast originally published in 2016, so I’m a little late to the game, but wanted to throw it out there for anyone looking for an interesting podcast to listen to!

Anticipating… finally getting a kitten! I think I am ready to start making the serious preparations to welcome a new kitty into my life. I’ve been emailing back and forth with a catpert (I trust you to figure out the portmanteau) to figure out exactly what I need and what I should expect. As someone who has never owned a cat, I am flying blind, so it’s nice to have a catpert to help me figure this all out! I am planning on placing a big order on Chewy.com today and maybe even visiting a shelter to scope it out this weekend. Maybe. (Also, my catpert has brought up the idea of welcoming two kitties into my life, instead of one. Please leave your argument for or against this decision in the comments.)

Grateful… for all the time I get to spend with my mom. Lately, I’ve been realizing how special our relationship is and how lucky I am to have her as my mom. I’ve always known that we have a one-of-a-kind relationship and that not many women get to have this type of closeness with their mothers, but it’s just been hitting me at different moments about how amazing our friendship is. She’s always been my most favorite person to be with, and I feel like our bond is just growing stronger as the years pass. It’s a beautiful thing.

Needing… to upgrade my workout clothes. Most of my workout clothes I’ve had for years and years (I won’t even tell you how long I’ve had one of my sports bras…), and it’s just time to start replacing the clothes and buying stuff that makes me feel really good. I’m not talking about dropping a ton of money at Lululemon (I doubt they have my size anyway, sigh) (that sigh is towards Lululemon’s terrible sizing standards, not towards my own size), but just finding shorts and tanks that make me feel comfortable and confident when I wear them.

Tell me something you’re anticipating right now!

My Ideal Evening Routine

A few weeks ago, Kate wrote a post about her nighttime routine and I really loved it. So much so, I’ve been thinking about my own nighttime routine and what an ideal evening would look like for me. (Figuring out my nighttime routine was even a goal for me this month!) Most evenings, I’m coming straight home after work and, even though I have a full four hours to myself before my pre-determined “bedtime,” I feel like I never have enough time to get everything I want done. So, I took some time to plan out what my ideal evening would look like and I thought I would share it:

5:30 PM – 6:00 PM: Arrive home and decompress

I have a fairly easy commute home on a daily basis, and usually get home right around 5:30. I really, really love coming home, throwing my stuff on the counter, and then lying on my bed for a few minutes, scrolling through Instagram or reading. After a full day in the office and navigating traffic on my way home, I just want to turn off my brain for a little while.

6:00 PM – 7:00 PM: Make and eat dinner while watching a TV show

After some time to decompress, it’s time to make an easy dinner. Typically, this is some sort of chicken recipe like healthy baked chicken nuggets or something similar. I’ll add a veggie (like corn or green peas) and call it a meal. I will usually listen to a podcast while I’m putting dinner together and then throw on a TV show to watch while I’m eating said dinner.

7:00 PM – 7:30 PM: Work on my blog

I’m always working on something for my blog on weeknights, but usually it entails furiously putting together a post the night before (um, like tonight). So, this is where the “ideal” part of my evening routine comes in because I never really set aside specific time to work on my blog. Somehow, I still manage to get 2-3 blog posts published a week, but only because I live and die by my content calendar. Anyway, I’d really love to set aside 30 minutes every evening to work on my blog, whether that’s getting ahead on posts or getting a post ready to be published in the morning.

7:30 PM – 8:00 PM: Clean up the kitchen and pack my lunch

I cannot go to bed to a messy kitchen, so I will always spend some time hand-washing my dishes and clearing off countertops so my place is tidy when I go to bed. Once the kitchen is cleaned, I’ll pack my lunch so that it’s ready to grab-and-go in the morning. I’ve fallen into a habit of packing my lunch in the morning, which I never really have time for, so I need to get back in the habit of doing this the night before.

This is also when I’ll either prep my coffeepot to brew a fresh pot in the morning, or make sure I have enough coffee chilling in my fridge to fill up my Tervis. Iced coffee is one of my favorite things, so if I’m running low on chilled coffee, I’ll brew a full 12-cup pot and pour it into my pitcher to chill overnight. (And before you tell me all about cold brew coffee, I know. I have yet to find a brand that I prefer to my regular chilled coffee, and cold brew is more expensive, too.)

8:00 PM – 8:30 PM: Take a bubble bath

Taking a bubble bath is a nightly tradition for me. I live for them. Sometimes, it’s the only thing that gets me through my day. I’ll read my book while I’m soaking, and yes, that means I bring library books and my Kindle into the bath with me. Don’t worry – I’m a professional.

8:30 PM – 8:45 PM: Wash my face and brush my teeth

Once my bubble bath is done and I’m all fresh and clean and in my pajamas, I need to brush my teeth and wash my face. I’ll admit: I am really bad at doing this every night. It’s just annoying to do, and by this time, I’m tired and just want to crawl into bed. But I need to make more of an effort because dental hygiene is important! And I wear makeup on a daily basis, so my face really needs a deep cleanse to get off all the dirt and makeup and grime and ugh, faces are so gross when you think of it that way. (I always use a makeup wipe to take off the top layer of my makeup, but it never gets my face as clean as it should be.) Anyway, this is also where the “ideal” part of my evening routine comes in. I really need to cleanse, tone, and moisturize my face every night.

8:45 PM – 9:30 PM: Read until I’m tired

Once all the evening tasks have been completed, I get to read! I’ll usually bring my phone to bed with me and take breaks every so often to scroll through a few Instagram Stories, which I know I “shouldn’t” do, but alas, I am weak. I’ll read until I’m tired or until 9:30 rolls around, whichever comes first.

So there you have it! My ideal evening routine. Maybe I’ll check back in a few months to report if I’m living my ideal evening life. 🙂

What do your evenings look like – chaotic or relaxing?

What I’m Reading (9.24.18)

Well. This was a very successful reading week for me. I haven’t finished many books in the past few weeks, but I have five reviews for you today. FIVE. Three of the books I’ve been working on for a few weeks now, one was a short audiobook, and the fifth a novella. So, settle in, my friends, for quite a few reviews.

Books Finished

Title: The Meaning of Michelle: 16 Writers on the Iconic First Lady and How Her Journey Inspires Our Own
Edited by: Veronica Chambers
Published: 2017
Format: Library audiobook
Rating: ★★★★☆

Plot Summary: In this essay collection, 16 writers talk about the impact Michelle Obama had, both in the unconventional way she lived as First Lady and in the way she challenged ideas of what womanhood means in this culture.

My Thoughts: This was such a lovely, lovely read. I listened to the audiobook version, which is just under five hours, so it’s a fast read and a good starting point for anyone wanting to listen to more audiobooks. Michelle Obama had such a massive impact in our culture, and it is especially so for black girls who grew up not seeing themselves reflected in pop culture or politics. But for eight years, we got to have a black First Lady and someone who owned her blackness and celebrated it, someone who was beautiful and gracious but also unflinching in her beliefs. She was unlike any other First Lady in history, and I’m so glad we got to have her for eight years.

Title: Taking Fire
Author: Cindy Gerard
Published: 2016
Format: Library e-book
Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Plot Summary: Bobby’s been betrayed by Talia once – six years ago on assignment in Kabul – and when they are unexpectedly reunited at the U.S. Embassy in Oman and thrust into a dangerous mission, he has to decide whether or not he can trust her again.

My Thoughts: Cindy Gerard is one of my favorite romantic suspense authors, but I haven’t loved her last few novels as much as her previous ones. There’s something that feels… forced. The characters don’t feel real, the plot isn’t as dynamic as usual. This one even repeated a plot line from one of her previous novels, which I found to be just lazy writing. Plus, this book included my most-hated romance trope, a plot I just cannot get behind no matter what. Was the story well-paced and well-written? Yes. Was the action exciting? Of course. But I just expected more from Gerard.

Title: Persuasion
Author: Jane Austen
Published: 1817
Format: e-book
Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Plot Summary: Anne Elliot and Frederick Wentworth were betrothed once, but she was persuaded by her dear family friend to break off the engagement since the match was unworthy. Eight years later, Wentworth returns as a successful sea captain, only to find Anne’s family at the brink of financial ruin and his sister renting the Elliot’s house.

My Thoughts: I gave Jane Austen a fair shot, and I have decided she is just not for me. And no, I don’t feel bad about this. I don’t feel I have to like Austen to be a “good bookworm.” I had to use SparkNotes to understand what was happening in this book, as so much of the language went over my head, and my reading experience was just not enjoyable. The plot could be considered compelling, but the writing felt so dense that it was hard to really get engaged in what was happening.

Title: Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
Author: Emily Nagoski
Published: 2015
Format: Paperback
Rating: ★★★★★

Plot Summary: This book, written by a human sexuality expert, explores woman’s sexuality – how it works, why it doesn’t sometimes, and how women can have fulfilling and happy sex lives.

My Thoughts: This book is life-changing, and it’s a book I want to get in the hands of every woman I know. I think it is so, so important to understand how sexual functioning works and why it sometimes doesn’t. I have a lot of thoughts about this book, and I’m going to save most of them for the blog post I intend to write very soon, once I’m able to formulate my thoughts into something coherent. I understand that it can be embarrassing for women to talk about sex (and to have a book like this on their Goodreads profile, ha), but I think that’s the whole point of this book. We need to stop being embarrassed, to stop thinking our pleasure doesn’t matter. It does. We do. And this book is a great stepping stone for that.

Title: Never, Never: Part Three
Author: Colleen Hoover, Tarryn Fisher
Published: 2016
Format: Library paperback
Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Plot Summary: In this third and final novella, Silas and Charlie are desperate to find out why they continue to lose their memories every three days.

My Thoughts: Oy vey. I was so intrigued after part one – it was so well-written and I just needed to know what happened next. Part two was less intriguing, probably because Silas and Charlie spent most of the novel apart and it felt like the authors were opening so many different doors. And part three? Part three was so disappointing. The reason for Silas and Charlie losing their memory was… silly. The loose ends that were opened up in parts one and two were never fully wrapped up. I think the problem with this series was breaking a full book into three novellas (still not sure why the authors did that…) I think it could have been much stronger as one book, and I think it would have been easier to really wrap this series up in the right way. Meh.

What I’m Reading This Week

  • Fear: Trump in the White House by Bob Woodward – I was surprised to get an email from my library saying the audiobook was ready for my to download! (When I checked it a few weeks ago, I was #24 on the list and they had one copy.) It is so, so good and reads like fiction.
  • Home Front by Kristin Hannah – Kristin Hannah is the kind of writer where I really have to be in the right frame of mind to read one of her books. Mostly because her books always pack an emotional punch, and most times, they have a slow pace. I’m a little over 100 pages into this novel, and I am loving it. It’s just so good, although I can tell it’s probably going to completely destroy me by the time I finish it. Eeks.
  • Dr. Strange Beard by Penny Reid – I’m about halfway into this contemporary romance, the fifth in Reid’s Winston Brothers series. So far, so good. (I’m reading it in between pages of Home Front because sometimes, I need a break from that heavy-ish read!)
  • On Second Thought by Kristan Higgins – Once I finish Dr. Strange Beard, this is next on my list! Higgins used to be one of my favorite contemporary romance authors, but she’s moved into women’s fiction and I haven’t read her recent releases. Remedying that now!

What are you reading this week?

How I Make Time for Reading

Four years ago (nearly to the day!), I published a post where I talked about my reading habits. For a week, I logged my time to give a summary of exactly how make time for reading. Some interesting findings from that post:

  • Most of my reading was done in short bursts of time of 15 minutes or less (57%)
  • The longest amount of time I spent reading was 45 minutes
  • I read before work every single day (usually just a few pages), but that’s something I don’t do anymore.

I’ve always wanted to do a follow-up post about my reading habits and see how things have changed, so last week, I logged my reading time again. I just had no idea that I picked the exact same week as before. (How does that even happen?!)

Let’s look at how I’m making time for reading in 2018!

Monday, September 10

  • 35 minutes: reading during my lunch break
  • 27 minutes: commuting home (audiobook)
  • 12 minutes: puttering around (audiobook)
  • 28 minutes: reading before bed

Total time reading: 1 hour, 42 minutes

Tuesday, September 11

  • 26 minutes: reading during my lunch break
  • 18 minutes: reading during my bubble bath
  • 17 minutes: reading before bed

Total time reading: 1 hour, 1 minute

Wednesday, September 12

  • 28 minutes: reading during my lunch break
  • 14 minutes: reading during my bubble bath
  • 27 minutes: reading before bed

Total time reading: 1 hour, 9 minutes

Thursday, September 13

  • 19 minutes: reading during my lunch break
  • 13 minutes: reading during my bubble bath
  • 23 minutes: reading while puttering around
  • 9 minutes: reading before bed

Total time read: 1 hour, 4 minutes

Friday, September 14

  • 10 minutes: reading before a nap
  • 45 minutes: reading while puttering around
  • 24 minutes: reading before bed

Total time read: 1 hour, 19 minutes

Saturday, September 15

  • 12 minutes: reading after waking up
  • 12 minutes: reading before a nap
  • 9 minutes: reading when I woke up from the nap
  • 23 minutes: reading while puttering around
  • 1 hour: reading before bed

Total time read: 1 hour, 56 minutes

Sunday, September 16

  • 23 minutes: reading after waking up
  • 32 minutes: reading while puttering around (part-audiobook)
  • 15 minutes: driving (audiobook)
  • 1 hour, 45 minutes: reading while watching football
  • 19 minutes: reading before bed

Total time read: 3 hours, 14 minutes

Total time read for the week: 11 hours, 25 minutes

***

Ah, it’s so interesting to see my reading time laid out in a weekly format like this. It shows how much time I make for reading. Even on my busiest days, I still put in an hour of reading time (Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday) and every day ended with me reading in bed, even if it was only for a few minutes (Thursday). I read every day on my lunch break, which is probably my favorite part of every day. I used to go outside to a bench that’s under some trees, but it’s just too hot to be outside for more than a few minutes at this time of year. So I’ve started going to my car, pushing back the seat, and stretching out. I turn on the engine so I can have the cold air blasting on me and sit in the complete silence, and it. is. divine.

I wasn’t sure what to call the category I named, “puttering around,” but this is how I tend to get things done while still working in copious amounts of reading time. I’ll sit down with my book and let myself read 1-2 chapters or 10 or so pages (depending how long the chapters are), and then I’ll get up and do something. Maybe I’ll take care of a chore or spend some time working on a blog post, but whenever I finish the task or I need a break, I’ll come back to my book. And repeat, repeat, repeat.

I’m still reading in short bursts of 15 minutes or less, but definitely not at the same rate I was four years ago. I broke my times down into four categories: 15 minutes or less, 15-30 minutes, 30-45 minutes, and 45 minutes or longer. The second category, 15-30 minutes, came out on top at 48%. 15 minutes or less followed at 33%. The last two categories account for the remaining 19%.

I didn’t calculate the number of pages I read during each reading period, but I finished an audiobook (I only had an hour left on it, though) and read a 350-page book, along with making progress on the other books I’m reading (Come as You Are, Taking Fire, and Persuasion). I’m usually not reading this many books at once, but it happens every now and then.

But there you have it! That’s how I make time for reading on a daily basis. I have the freedom to do so, but it’s also something I choose to do. I could be doing other things with my free time, like binging shows on Netflix or playing games on my phone, but I choose to read more often than not. It’s what I make time for every single day, usually for an hour or more. And I have zero regrets about that!

How do you make time for reading?

What I’m Reading (9.17.18)

Happy Monday, friends! I had such a lovely, relaxing weekend. So relaxing, in fact, that I managed to finish an entire 350-page book in two days. (Which is a good thing, considering it was for book club and our meeting is tomorrow!)

This week, I finished two books. My reviews are below!

Books Finished

Title: A Million Junes
Author: Emily Henry
Published: 2017
Format: Library audiobook
Rating: ★★★★☆

Plot Summary: June O’Donnell and Saul Angert are supposed to hate each other because that’s the way their families work. June’s family has a long-held grudge against Saul’s family, but June cannot help the pull she feels toward Saul. He’s gruff and sarcastic, but sparks fly whenever they’re around one another. So, what happens when an Angert and an O’Donnell fall in love?

My Thoughts: I’m not one for magical realism typically, but damn, I loved this novel. It was fun and witty while also being emotionally moving, stirring my heart strings. I loved the characters of June and Saul, and I could feel their chemistry immediately. Their love story warmed my heart and it’s what made me most curious to see how everything would end because it seemed like their love was doomed from the start. I also loved the secondary characters in this novel, especially the relationship of June and her best friend Hannah. They had a strong, healthy female friendship and it was a beautiful thing to witness. They just loved each other and wanted the best for one another at all times, and that’s something more YA novels need. Teenage female friendship can be healthy! Yes, yes. This book was so fantastic and so beautifully written. I would highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys YA books and magical realism (but also encourage anyone who isn’t into magical realism to give it a try because that’s not my typical bag and I really enjoyed it.)

Title: Red Clocks
Author: Leni Zumas
Published: 2018
Format: Library hardcover
Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Plot Summary: In this novel, Leni Zumas has imagined a world where abortion is illegal, IVF is banned, and every embryo is granted right to life, liberty, and property. She explores how this affects four very different woman: Ro who is trying to have her baby on her own, Susan who is a mother of two and trapped in a disappointing marriage, Mattie who is fifteen and gets pregnant unexpectedly, and Gin who is a modern-day witch doctor who is arrested and put on trial.

My Thoughts: The premise of this book sounded great. Timely and important, and let’s face it, if Brett Kavanaugh is confirmed as Supreme Court Justice, a reality we could be facing in the not-too-distant future. However, the writing just didn’t meet my expectations. I found the writing pretentious, as if the author was trying so hard to make this book as literary as possible. None of the characters were truly likable, and it just made me sad that none of the women featured in this novel had a strong relationship with anyone – not a romantic partner, not a family member, not a friend, not a colleague. If the author wanted to write a female empowerment book, well, I think she failed on that account. I will acknowledge that I thought the ending was well-done and made up for a very slow beginning and lackluster character development, but eh. Not a book I’m going to be recommending.

What I’m Reading This Week

  • Persuasion by Jane Austen – Okay, confession: so much of this book has been going over my head that I finally broke down and read the SparkNotes chapter summaries for everything I had read so far. Mostly because I was getting the characters mixed up, and also because I read two chapters in a row where I was like, “Wait. What did I just read?!” I couldn’t have told you if my life depended on it. So now I’m reading the SparkNotes chapter summary before I read a chapter and the experience is so much better! Pretty sure after finishing Persuasion, I’m giving up on Jane Austen novels. Sorry not sorry?
  • Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski – Still working my way through this one! It’s so, so good, but also very dense, and I’m taking my time with it. But it’s definitely a book I would recommend to anyone who has insecurities or fears regarding sex.
  • Taking Fire by Cindy Gerard – Nearly done with this romantic suspense novel! It has one of my most-hated romance tropes, but it’s an easy read nonetheless and I’m curious to how it will all turn out.
  • The Meaning of Michelle: 16 Writers on the Iconic First Lady and How Her Journey Inspires Our Own by Veronica Chambers – My audiobook pick for September! I started this yesterday and it’s going to be a really quick read, as it’s under five hours. And an enjoyable one because, right now, I need to remember a time when our democracy wasn’t a garbage fire.

What are you reading?

Friday Questions (v. 7)

Hey, hey! Happy Friday! I am having my first slow weekend in WEEKS and I couldn’t be happier about it. I need a weekend like this because for the past few days, my anxiety has felt a little unmanageable. Sunday will be a busy day with a Starbucks writing date and celebrating my brother’s birthday, but Friday and Saturday should be low key and plan free. Yay!

Today’s post is a continuation of the Friday Questions series, in which I answer questions Nicole poses to her guests on her Real Talk Radio podcast. Enjoy!

1) If you could master any one skill, what would you choose?

I would love to learn how to be a better conversationalist. I am always so in awe of people who can have long and interesting discussions with just about anyone they meet because I sometimes struggle with keeping a conversation going even with close friends! I know it’s the “introvert way” to say we cherish deep conversations and hate small talk, and while that’s true for me, I also would love to be great at small talk. It would just be nice to be able to have a normal conversation with someone, without losing my words or having long, awkward silences.

2) How do you spend the first hour of your day?

Usually, it entails going for a 30-minute walk around my apartment complex so I can get my steps in and then getting ready for my work day. I’ll take a shower, decide if I want to blow dry my hair or not, do my makeup, and then pack my lunch and prepare my coffee. (Okay, so this is more like the first hour-and-a-half of my day, ha.) I’m very slow in the morning as I’m getting ready, as I’d rather wake up a little earlier and take my time getting ready than sleep in and have to rush around.

3) When you look back on the past five years, what do you feel most proud of?

I’m proud of building a happy, fulfilling single life. I am ridiculously proud of that. I have an active social life, a group of friends who I’ve traveled with and have carried me through some really tough times. I have a strong relationship with my mom and brother, and my mom remains my best friend to this day. I am financially secure and able to live on my own. I have a job that I enjoy and plenty of hobbies to keep me busy. My life may not include a partner at this moment, and it may not have the children I thought I’d have at this age, but that’s okay. It may never include a partner or children, and that’s okay, too. I’ve built a happy life as a single person, and that’s something nobody can take away from me.

4) What is one of your biggest fears or insecurities?

Since fears and insecurities are two separate things, I have a different answer for both.

My biggest fear is losing a close family member, like my mom or my brother. If I’m woken up in the middle of the night, my first thought it always that I’m having a premonition that someone has died. Which then leads me to a panic attack, which is always fun. The best thing I know to do to handle this fear is to just take deep breaths and remind myself if something tragic were to happen, I will be okay and I will get through it.

My biggest insecurity is my weight. I really, really wish I was someone who had high self-esteem and positive body image, but I don’t because I live in a fat-phobic society that tells me daily that my body is not ideal. I’m really working on cultivating a better self image, and not by being on a crazy diet to lose a bunch of weight. I just want to be happy with myself as I am today and not wrinkle my nose at my reflection in the mirror. I don’t deserve that kind of treatment, you know?

5) What do you want to be known and remembered for?

I want to be known and remembered as someone who people trusted with their biggest thoughts and feelings. I want people to feel that they can come to me to be a nonjudgmental listening ear and to give good advice when they need it. I just want to be there for people and to know I served them in the best way I knew how.

What’s a skill you’d love to master?

How to Choose What to Read Next

A few weeks ago, I made one of those Instagram Stories questions where I encouraged people to send me questions related to reading, book clubs, etc. One of the questions I received from my friend Allison was such a great one, but it would have required way more 15-second videos than anyone has time for. Instead, I told her I’d turn her question into a blog post!

Her question was this:

To be completely honest, I started writing about my own selection process but it was getting too complicated. I have a seriously intricate process when it comes to choosing what I’m going to read next. I have at least seven different TBR lists that I refer to when I’m making my monthly reading list, and it’s very hard to explain how I go about choosing what I’m going to read. But it’s a system that works for me! It’s probably not a system that will work for most people, though.

So, instead of discussing my exact process for selecting books, I thought I could give some tips on how you can figure out your own system for choosing what you are going to read. I think it will be much more helpful in the long run. Let’s get started!

Keep a running list of the books you want to read.

And I don’t mean marking every book you see as “want to read” on Goodreads. I mean making a thoughtful list of the books you really want to read. The ones that have come highly recommended from your most trusted sources or the ones that make you feel something in your gut when you read their synopses. This list should be curated with consideration, and only the books that you really want to read should be put on it.

I have a list that I call my “immediate TBR.” Before making this list, I just marked everything that sounded interesting as “want to read” on Goodreads and suddenly, I had a list of 900+ books! I grew concerned that the books I really, really wanted to read would get lost in the shuffle, so I set about making this list. I keep it in the Notes app on my phone. I only add a book to the list if it’s one I could see myself buying because I’m that interested in reading it. (Your reasoning may be different, of course, especially if you’re not much of a book buyer.)

Once you’ve curated your reading list (remember – be strict about what you add to this list! Only the best of the best can make the cut!), you can use this to choose your next book. Go from top to bottom, use a random number generator to select what book you’re going to read next from the list… whatever works and gets you excited about reading!

Here’s what my “immediate TBR” list looks like right now:

Make a monthly reading list.

I live by my monthly reading list, as I am a person who loves structure. I am not a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants reader, not by a long shot. So, towards the end of every month, I sit down and compile a list of 5-6 books that I want to read next month. Typically, it entails:

  • Two books from my “immediate TBR” list (I just choose the next two books in line)
  • Book club books (I belong to a local book club and my work book club)
  • Books from my Goodreads “want to read” list (I alternate between a nonfiction book, a fiction book, and a book from an author’s backlist*)

Once I’ve compiled my monthly reading list, I’ll open up my library’s website to request those books so they’ll be ready and waiting for me to start reading when the new month begins.

I really, really love my monthly reading list and the way it keeps me focused on what I’m reading next. I know exactly what I’ll be reading once I finish my current book, and there’s no scrambling to find a book on Overdrive or feeling lost about what I should read next.

Obviously, there are some cons to being so structured with my reading list, especially when I start a book that I’m just not in the mood for. This rarely happens for me because I’m pretty good at curating my reading list to my moods. For example, when I moved apartments, I knew I needed to keep my reading list full of easy, light-hearted books. No nonfiction, no WWII stories, nothing heavy. I also make sure to keep a good balance between light reads and heavy reads. If one of the books on my reading list is a long, heavy read, everything else is brain candy. This is when it is so helpful to understand your reading style. Some people can handle multiple heavy books in a row and some can’t.

Anyway, I highly recommend making a monthly reading list, especially if you’re someone who struggles with decision fatigue and has a hard time knowing what to pick up next after finishing a book. And I think the reading list is even helpful if you’re not reading at the crazy pace I do – even if you’re a 1-2 books per month type of reader, making a list of what you’re going to read that month can be helpful for your reading life and make sure you don’t feel lost in your Goodreads “want to read” list after finishing a book.

*Author’s backlist = I love reading through an author’s entire book list so a few years ago, I made a goal of reading through some of them. I’ve gone through Jennifer Weiner and Emily Giffin’s lists, and I’m currently working on Colleen Hoover and Louise Penny. 

Make a reading syllabus.

This is a fun idea that I’ve been hearing about, and it could be the perfect way to get more out of your reading life. Have a topic you’re interested about? Maybe dating or parenting or race relations or women-led thrillers. If so, make a syllabus that has a list of books about that topic with dates of when you want to read certain books. I can only imagine how fun it might be to research about all the different books you can find on different topics, both fiction and nonfiction alike!

Let’s say you want to read more about race relations. You could add Michael Eric Dyson’s Tears We Cannot Stop, Angie Thomas’s The Hate You Give, Ta-Nehisi Coates Between the World and Me, and Nic Stone’s Dear Martin. And maybe you give yourself a task of reading two of these books per month – wham, bam, thank you, ma’am, you have an easy-to-reference reading list that will not only lessen your book selection fatigue, but also get you closer to your goal of understanding the topic on your mind more clearly.

Plus, since you’ll be reading books on a topic that you are interested in, you’ll be more excited about reading because your reading life will have a purpose. You’re not just reading whatever is #1 on the New York Times best-seller list, but books that mean something to you. And that’s what reading is all about, in my opinion.

Become a serial abandoner.

Okay, so this isn’t really a tip on how to choose what you want to read next, but I still want to include it because this may be the #1 hill I’m willing to die on: abandon, abandon, abandon. There is no reason to keep reading a book that isn’t holding your interest. Reading is supposed to be fun, informative, and engaging. If you’re reading a book, but slogging through it slowly because you can only read a few pages before you get bored, abandon it. If you’re reading a book that everyone else seems to love but the main character annoys the ever-living fuck out of you, abandon it. If you’re reading a book and it’s triggering you, abandon it. There is no shame in abandoning a book. I feel like a lot of people who don’t find enjoyment from reading just aren’t reading the right things. Don’t follow the best-seller list – follow your own heart.

Heck, there have been times in my life where the only books I read were romance novels. It’s what made me happy, so it’s what I read. No shame!

The general rule of thumb is subtract your age from 100, and that’s how many pages you should give a book. For me, since I’m 30, that’s 70 pages. So, I try to give every book 70 full pages to grab my attention, but if I’m at page 70, and I really don’t care what happens to the characters, I know it’s a sign to give it up.

And with that – I think I have written enough words about this topic. I mean, I could probably write another 1,500 words, but at that point, I might as well turn this into a novella. 😉 I really hope this helps anyone who struggles with choosing books to read! I truly believe anyone can have a fulfilling reading life, no matter if you read a few books a year or 100, but sometimes, it takes a little work and experimenting to find what works for you.

How do you choose what books to read?