This week was mentally tough. I had many, many thoughts of simply skipping my weigh-in. I’ve been on plan for less than 2 weeks and I’m already contemplating these things.
The funny thing is, I was doing great with my eating and exercise. I was in control, I was counting, and I was kicking my soda habit in the face. Yet, a single whisper of skipping weigh-in and letting myself cheat until the new week started kept grabbing hold of my mind and hanging on. At first, thinking about it made me happy. I could eat what I wanted! I could gorge! Woo! And then? Then the guilt set in. The disappointment. The beating myself up. And I realized that staying on plan makes me happier in the long run than cheating.
Not a new concept. But in the past, I could usually shove the guilt part aside and focus on the happy part of my brain. Now, I couldn’t get the fact that this was not how I wanted my mind to think anymore. I didn’t want to focus on “being good until weigh-in day”. I wanted to focus on being healthy just because. I had to keep telling myself, over and over again: “This is not about weigh-in day. This is about a healthy lifestyle.”
And I did it. Even though I didn’t track from Sunday – Wednesday, I still remained on plan. I ate healthy, didn’t overindulge, and kept up my exercise routine. For me, it’s a big step in acknowledging this is my new life. It’s not my life for this week. It’s not my life until I get to my goal weight. It’s my life forever. Some people can’t look that far into the future. They have to just focus one day at a time. For me, I think it’s because I’ve been doing it for so long and making up so many excuses that I have to put my focus not just on the here and now, but also how I want to feel when I go on my cruise in May. By the end of 2012. Five years from now.
I don’t want to still be struggling with my weight five years from now.
I need to remain focused on the fact that this is not something I’m doing for a few months or for some destination. I am doing this for the rest of my life. It can be overwhelming to think in these terms, but I’ve discovered it is motivation for me to keep going.
Starting Weight (1/11/12): 157.0 lbs
Current Weight (1/25/12): 154.2 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 1.0 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 2.8 lbs