December is typically a month where I go a little crazy. It’s at this time of the year I realize I’m not anywhere near where I promised myself I would be in January and decide to use December as my “free for all” month and start fresh in January. After all, there’s too much temptation in December! January starts a new year and then I can get serious about my health.
But while this year hasn’t been a year where I dropped a bunch of weight and finally started feeling that healthy living is a possibility, I’m refusing to let myself undo the small amount of work I did do. Yes, I’m still unhappy with my body and the way I eat. Yes, I’m having a hard time considering this year a monster success because I’m still struggling with my weight problem. But I know I took measures every single day to live a healthier lifestyle. It may have been as simple as not having dessert at night or drinking water at work, but it was something. I have no doubt in my mind if I hadn’t tried my best to follow a healthy-living regime, I would be at least 40-50 pounds heavier than I am right now. That’s too scary to even contemplate.
This year, I did not run a half-marathon, but I did exercise at least once but more often than not 4-5 times a week.
This year, I did not “cure” my addiction to Coke, but I started drinking water on a regular basis and I learned that I’m not so much as addicted to soda, as it is a comfort and normality for me.
This year, I did not find a healthy living mindset but I did chase after healthy living goals every week. I may have had more downs than ups, but I never gave up trying.
While I am hoping 2012 will be a year I finally grab hold of what healthy living needs to look like for me (with the help of “12 Changes in 2012”!), I don’t want to let any of my healthy goals slide in December. And I’m not talking about treating myself to yummy treats or delicious holiday meals, I’m talking about the other days of the month. They vastly outnumber the days filled with parties, baking, and holidays. Those are the days I need to keep my focus on healthy living. The days when I need to down water like it’s my job and fit in a killer workout and eat healthy, filling meals. The days when I need to ease up on sweets and soda and fatty foods. I’m not looking to use December as a month to drop weight, but as a month to remain focused on my overall goal of a healthy lifestyle.
At the end of the month, I want to be satisfied with myself and the choices I made throughout the month. I don’t want to spend the month in a constant cycle of guilt and disgustingness (yes, that is a word).
I may have not fulfilled my resolution of reaching my goal weight but I have tried my best. And I’m still going to keep trying. As one of my favorite movies once quoted, “Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game*.” I’m not going to let my fear or history of failing keep me from trying. Because one of these days, it’s all going to click.
*That would be A Cinderella Story. And yes, it’s one of my favorite movies. Don’t judge!