Letters to My Future Husband: My Role As Your Wife

by Stephany on August 25, 2010

My love,

For awhile now, you have been the focus of my letters. I’ve written about what qualities and values I want you to have – trivial or not. I’ve written about how excited I am to meet you, but how I’m willing to wait until the time is right. But now it’s time to talk about me. More specifically, it’s time to talk about my role as your future wife.

One of my biggest aspirations in being your wife is to be someone who draws you closer to Jesus. I want to strengthen your faith, build it up, and keep you focused on Him. I don’t want to make you doubt your faith. I see us attending Bible studies together, praying together, and sharing what God has done in our lives together. We are choosing to place God at the center of our relationship and I would never want you to cherish my feelings over His. I want to be able to place my feelings aside when it comes to what God is telling you. God first, in everything.

I want to be a good communicator. Right now, it’s something I really need to work on because I tend to keep my feelings locked up tight, not letting on when something someone has said or done has hurt me. I want to get better at expressing my emotions and talking through my problems. I don’t want to be the “typical female” who says she’s fine when really, she wants to punch you in the face for that insensitive comment. Communication is such a huge part of any relationship, be it romantic or otherwise. This needs to be one of the cornerstones of our marriage. We need to be rock star communicators.

I want to have fun with you. I want you to be my best friend. All too often, I hear people complain about their significant others in derogatory ways. They bash their husbands and wives, talk down about them, and make me wonder why they even married them at all. I don’t want to be that type of wife that goes running to my circle of friends to bash you whenever we have a fight. I want to respect our marriage, respect that we will have disagreements, and respect your role as the leader of our family. I want our marriage to look different than many of the ones I see on a daily basis. I want us to actually like each other as friends and want to be with each other.

All I know is that I’m really looking forward to becoming your wife. It’s going to be my best role to date.

I can’t wait to meet you.

I love you,

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

SomewhatVoluble August 25, 2010 at 11:38 am

I love seeing letters like these. I wish I would've wrote letters to my husband before meeting him. We had "secret xangas" that we allowed each other to read, though, after we knew each other, and before we even started dating. I love going back and reading through them to see what we went through to get where we are. :)


Amber (Girl with the red hair) August 25, 2010 at 12:17 pm

These letters are so beautifully written!

Caitlin wrote something the other day on Twitter that said something along the lines of "the success of marriage is marrying someone who only drives you moderately crazy" (or something like that). I TOTALLY agree with her and I will admit to bashing Eric to my mom and BFF sometimes – but I love him. A lot. He's the only person I know who I can go from ADORING to wanting to punch in the face :D Haha!


emily-jane.net August 25, 2010 at 1:20 pm

I think this series of letters is really beautiful, and are going to make great keepsakes one day for the two of you!

You're right when you say communication is key, as is being great friends and really enjoying each other's company. Praying together is something that's been really meaningful for D & I as well.


Mandy August 25, 2010 at 2:03 pm

I love these letters that you're writing. Someday they will be a beautiful memento to your spouse.


The Non-Student August 25, 2010 at 2:08 pm

I agree with emily-jane–it's great that you have these and one day, you'll be able to show them to your partner. Very sweet!


My Husband's Watching TV... August 25, 2010 at 3:04 pm

So sweet! Your hub is going to be one lucky guy.


Samantha August 25, 2010 at 3:20 pm

Communication and being best friends seems to be what makes my relationship so solid, so those are excellent qualities to want for your relationship. We have our disagreements, and of course there are times we drive each other crazy, but they're normally trivial things that we get over quickly. Don't beat yourself up if you're not the best communicator at first. I wasn't, and I'm still not perfect, but the closer we got, the more I opened up and became vocal. So if you're anything like me, it's something that will grow with your relationship. It's funny because nowadays, I don't even HAVE to say anything because he can already tell when something's wrong. I can't even say, "I'm fine!" because he won't believe it. :) Your future hubby will probably be the same way!

And being best friends is so important. I never understand married couples who don't enjoy spending time together, because I can't get enough of it!


Krysten @ After 'I Do' August 25, 2010 at 3:34 pm

Seriously Steph, these letters are amazing!


Cait August 25, 2010 at 4:15 pm

These letters are always so lovely to read. :)


Lisa from Lisa's Yarns August 25, 2010 at 6:20 pm

I agree w/ the others, these letters are great and will make a great gift to your future husband…


Kelly (She Wears a Red Sox Cap) August 25, 2010 at 9:02 pm

Very sweet letter :) I think it's perfect if you can find someone you love and who is your best friend. I think a lot of times people ARE best friends and then life responsibilities (KIDS haha) get in the way of that a bit.


walkingwithnora.com August 25, 2010 at 9:06 pm

Such a sweet/fun idea! I completely agree that I want to marry someone that I want to be with; someone I love and cherish, but want to be friends with too!


Lauren August 25, 2010 at 11:30 pm

I love your letters to you future husband because they often communicate the same things I desire for my own marriage. I, too, have an issue with communicating when something bothers me or rubs me the wrong way. Whenever my best friend does something that upsets me I, more often than not, put my feelings aside and try to forget about them, especially when she feels I'm in the wrong. I hardly ever stand up for myself, I usually just assume that I was wrong and that's that. I will say, though, that more often than not, I probably am wrong, but it's just the fact that I don't communicate why I get upset that hurts us both, and that's something I really need to work on. I really appreciate you sharing these letters.


Amanda November 1, 2010 at 3:15 pm

I absolutly love reading your letters. I have been writing to my future husband as well. I haven't seen any post from you lately? Dont get discourgaed. Continue writing to your beloved. Tell him exactly about how you feelm not just about him but about you and about life. When he finally reads them it will help him understand your emotions and the way you are on a deeper level just from interaction. God Bless.


Anonymous December 6, 2010 at 12:03 am

Hey these are great! God is going to bless your marriage with your commitment to honor Him first. Your husband is also growing and learning how to become like Christ during this time while you are apart. Your prayers for him are treasures to God who is pleased with your heart to fight for love. Just some encouragement!!!


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