Happy Monday! My weekend was pretty great – I took in a comedy show with a friend, participated in a local pet walk with my fur-brother Chip, and took a looooong nap on Saturday afternoon. I also started reorganizing my apartment and getting it ready for kittens. Whee!

This week, I finished two books and I gave both of them five stars. Unheard of! Here are my reviews:

Books Finished

Title: Home Front
Author: Kristin Hannah
Genre: Contemporary Fiction
Published: 2012
Format: Library hardcover
Rating: ★★★★★

Plot Summary: An unexpected deployment takes Jolene far from her family: her two young daughters and her husband of twelve years, Michael.

My Thoughts: This might be my favorite Hannah novel so far – yep, even above The Nightingale. It had everything I love about her novels: authentic characters, a fast plot, and emotion. I cried reading the last 50 pages, and I am not a crier. But this novel packed a punch. I loved how it gave a look into war and deployment from the female perspective, especially with this idea of a mother leaving her children. Jolene is asked numerous times, “How can you leave your children?” which is a question men are never asked. And there was also the perspective of a husband left behind, having to fall into the role of mother and father, and keep the household running. It was an unbelievably beautiful book and definitely earned a spot on my top ten list this year.

Title: On Second Thought
Author: Kristan Higgins
Genre: Women’s Fiction/Chick Lit
Published: 2017
Format: Library e-book
Rating: ★★★★★

Plot Summary: After Kate’s husband dies suddenly and Ainsley’s long-time boyfriend dumps her unceremoniously, Ainsley moves in with her sister to help them both heal.

My Thoughts: This novel reminded me why I love Kristan Higgins’s novels so much. She writes families so well and her characters are always so well-rounded. This novel was no different, featuring an incredibly interesting family dynamic and well-written plot. It was heartfelt and funny and moving, and while it could be gut-wrenchingly sad at times, it maintained a level of lightheartedness and sweetness so the novel never felt heavy. The way everything came together in the end was unexpected, but in the best possible way. If you’re looking for a sweet, lighthearted read that also packs an emotional punch, pick this novel up.

What I’m Reading This Week

• The Book of Unknown Americans by Cristina Henriquez – I’m a little more than halfway through this novel and I’m enjoying it, as much as one can enjoy a sad book. It’s giving me a look at the immigrant experience in an entirely different way.
• I Knew You Were Trouble by Lauren Layne – My romance for the week! I’m so excited to dive into this one because a Lauren Layne romance is always a great time.
• A Study in Scarlet Women by Sherry Thomas – I’ve had this book on my TBR for a long time and I’m glad I’m finally getting around to reading it. It’s about a gender-flipped Sherlock Holmes who masquerades as his sister to solve crimes. I’ve heard rave reviews, so I can’t wait to start it!

What are you reading?

On Wednesday, I wrote a brutally honest post about my financial situation as it stands today and I’ve been thrilled by the response! It is so gratifying to know that we’re all in the same boat – just trying to implement good financial habits into our lives, no matter where we stand with our salaries.

Today, I want to get into the nitty-gritty of my discretionary spending. This year, I’m trying to do a better job of tracking my expenses in all the different categories I use. I’ll be honest and say there have been weeks when I don’t look at my bank account once and when I do finally log on, it’s with a hand over my eyes. That’s not a good feeling, not one bit, and I want to stop that. I’m committed to checking in on a daily basis so I can make sure I know exactly where I stand with my money.

So, let’s dive into how I spend my money after my bills have been paid. I’m thankful to have enough discretionary spending to meet my needs, so I don’t feel as if I’m living paycheck-to-paycheck. I’ve separated these categories into where I spent the most money in Q1 to where I spent the least. But this is a pretty accurate depiction of how I spend my money:

Travel

I like to take two trips a year – one big trip with my mom (usually a cruise) and one smaller trip with my girlfriends. This year, I’m trying to tack on a third trip, so fingers crossed I can make it work!

In Q1, I spent $1,210 on travel, which is a staggeringly large number, but it includes my cruise deposit ($1,010) and the two shore excursions we booked ($200). I really prioritize this yearly cruise with my mom and it’s something I look forward to all year. I’m happy to spend the money on it because I know we’re going to have an awesome time and fully enjoy ourselves. And that’s what I want most from my life, both personally and financially.

Eating Out

Oh, this has always been my kryptonite when it comes to budgeting. I love eating out. If I could eat out every night, I probably would. I just do not care for cooking and I’ve stopped feeling bad about that. I’ve also stopped feeling bad about my love for eating out. I want to keep it in check, of course, but I’ve also realized that it’s something I truly enjoy and I should embrace it. So I have!

I have had to rein in some of my eating out behavior, mostly due to the fact that I’m trying to lose weight and most foods at restaurants are not very waistline-friendly. Of course, one can always find healthy options, but they are never as much fun as the unhealthy options and if I’m going to treat myself to a meal out, I don’t want to stick with chicken and steamed veggies. No thanks!

In Q1, I spent $585 on eating out. This includes social dinners, lunches out, pizza delivery, and all those trips to Publix for a sub (which happens at least a few times a week). This amounts to about $50 a week and yes, it’s definitely something I need to get a better handle on, I can admit. In Q2, I want to break down my eating out budget into different categories: eating alone, eating with Mom, and eating with friends. I’d like to see what the difference is there!

Beauty

This category includes hair appointments, pedicures, massages, and eyebrow waxes. I get my hair colored every other month and cut every four months. I like to get a pedicure monthly, if I can, just because it makes my feet feel so good and the place I go isn’t very expensive ($25). I get my eyebrows waxed every other month, and I try to do one massage every quarter.

Generally, this is an area of my life where I spend a lot of money, more than most people. It’s a version of self-care for me, but I also have to be careful about my spending, which is why I didn’t do my usual pedicure in March and I skipped a massage this quarter.

In Q1, I spent $343 and the majority of that came from a really pricey hair appointment. Actually, $270 of it came from this one hair appointment and I’m still sick to my stomach about it. Apparently, balayage is really frickin expensive! I mean, the color does last much longer, but I didn’t love my color enough for the price, ha. Lesson learned! I also got two pedicures and an eyebrow wax to round out my beauty spending. All in all, a very pricey quarter one for beauty. Yikes.

Toiletries

Twice a month, I take a trip to Target to stock up on personal care items, makeup, and household items. In quarter one, I spent $230 on toiletries, so about $77 a month or $38 every visit. This is something I don’t really put in my budget – it’s part of my discretionary spending, but I also want to separate out the different types of toiletry items I have. For example, I don’t think I should include my makeup purchases in the same category as my household cleaners, you know?

In Q2, I’m going to itemize my purchases for this category so that I can get a better handle on how much money I’m spending and where I’m spending it. (For example, how much money do I spend on makeup in a given month?) I’d also like to get to a point where I’m only shopping for toiletries once a month, rather than twice a month. I think that might also cut down on how much I spend here, too!

Amazon

Oh, dearest Amazon. I have a Prime membership and I’ve been contemplating canceling it for awhile now. I’m just really not using Prime to its fullest abilities. I spent $85 in Q1 on Amazon purchases, and only placed 8 orders over the entire quarter. It just seems silly to spend $14 a month on Prime when I’m barely using it.

Books

Ooh, my newest kryptonite! I never used to spend money on books, but now I can’t stop, won’t stop. Okay, I’m not doing terrible here. I spent $125 in Q1, and this includes my $15 a month Book of the Month subscription. It’s something I try to keep in check, by only buying books through BOTM or using Thriftbooks.com, where I can get a beautiful paperback for less than $5. Oh! And I’m also susceptible to $2 ebook deals from BookBub, but I only purchase the ebook if it’s something on my Goodreads TBR, and I only allow myself two ebooks a week. Standards, I have them?

Savings

I know, I know. “Pay yourself first.” But I haven’t gotten there yet. Instead, I’m using this handy-dandy worksheet to save $1,000 this year, which will serve as my emergency fund. (Currently, my credit card is my “emergency” fund, oops.) I have $173 in my savings and I’m slowly building it up. Slow and steady.

Birthdays

My nephew turned three, I celebrated the birthday of a friend, and I put together a care package for another friend, so I spent $60 on gifts in Q1. I’m happy with this one and that I was able to put a smile on the faces of my loved ones.

So there you have it – how I’m spending my money these days! There are definitely areas of improvement, especially when it comes to eating out and beauty. But there are also a ton of categories that I’m not spending money in – like clothing, entertainment, happy hours, and stuff like that. It’s always a give and take. Do I wish I could throw more money at my savings and debts? Of course. But not at the cost of losing out on living a life that feels enjoyable to me.

Okay, friends, settle in. I am about to get brutally honest about what my money situation looks like today. I’m talking REAL numbers about how much money I make and what my bills look like.

Why am I doing this? Because I think we need to be more honest about money and not feel ashamed to talk about our salaries and budgets. Sure, my salary may not be all that impressive to other people, but it’s fine for my needs and it allows me to support myself easily.

I was inspired to write this post after listening to an old episode of the Girl Next Door podcast (I’m slowly making my way through their back catalog of episodes) where they got real honest about their money situations, including what they make and what debt they have.

So, let’s do this!

At this moment in time, I’m 30 and I work a full-time job as a SEO content writer. I’m in my fourth year in this current position, although the position itself has grown and changed drastically over time, and each year, I’ve gotten a great raise that has put me in a fairly comfortable financial position. I also dabble in freelance writing, but I’m only working with one client who needs content every couple months or so. It actually works out really well for me because I quickly realized the freelancing side hustle was not for me. This way, I get consistent work without having to spend hours and hours hustling after it. And the money feels like a bonus. It’s never accounted for in my budget, and I usually funnel it to my debts.

So, what does my salary look like? My gross salary is around $47,000, but once I account for taxes, health insurance, and my flexible spending account that I use for healthcare costs, I’m earning around $37,000 a year. And I usually make around $3,000 a year from freelancing, although that doesn’t account for taxes, so when all is said and done, I’m earning a little under $40,000 a year.

Now let’s talk about my expenses. I’m going to break this up into a few categories: housing, debts, auto, and other. These are my fixed expenses that I have to account for with every budget I put together. (Friday, I’ll talk about discretionary spending and where my money goes after the bills are paid.)

Housing

Like most people, this is my biggest expense. One of the reasons is that I have chosen to live alone. Obviously, I could save more money and pay down my debts faster if I had a roommate, but it wasn’t worth it for me. I really, really wanted the experience of living alone, and after 18 months of it, I can say with certainty that it was the right decision. It just means that all of the housing and utilities fall on my shoulders, but it’s totally worth it for me.

Currently, I spend $825 a month to rent a one-bedroom apartment in a great location. And I’m getting a steal because most one-bedroom apartments around here are around $1,000 a month. There are certain sacrifices I’m making: my apartment is tiny (under 600 square feet with no dining area to speak of), the appliances aren’t updated, the countertops and cabinets are a gross beige color, etc. But I honestly didn’t want to pay much more than $800 and I’m really happy with the apartment and location, so I’m hoping to stay here for at least a few more years.

My other bills related to housing include utilities (water and electric), which usually run around $100 a month, sometimes a little more. I also pay $75 a month for high-speed Internet, which feels really pricey, but I literally never have issues with my Internet and it’s lightning fast, so I can’t complain too much. I don’t have cable, but pay $12 a month for Netflix.

Debts

After housing, my next biggest expense is paying off my debts. I carry three specific debts: a school loan, a car loan, and credit card debt.

My school loans total $13,409 currently and I can’t see myself paying those off for… well, a long time. I try not to think about it too much, haha. I pay the minimum balance on two of the loans and I have a third loan that’s under $500 that I’ve been very focused on paying off. In total, I pay $200 a month for my school loans. I don’t regret my student loans because they were the only way I was able to pay for college, so I try not to think of them as a burden. They just… are. I had to have them and they will be paid off one day. I refuse to feel bad about my school loans or the fact that I may be in my forties and still paying them off.

(You may be wondering why I haven’t consolidated my student loans and the truth is, I just haven’t done the research to figure out how to do this. It’s pure laziness on my part.)

My car loan is almost paid off – I have less than $900 to go. Woop! Once the car is paid off, my plan is to take the money I was spending on my car payments every month ($228) and put it into a savings account for a car down payment. I don’t want to buy another car anytime soon, but I want to have a hefty down payment saved up for when the time comes for a new car. Once I’ve saved $3,000 for my down payment, I want to start throwing that monthly payment toward my school loans. (Honestly, I’m not sure if this is the best decision because all the debt blogs say to pay off debt before saving, but I also know I’d feel more secure knowing I have a down payment saved up, should my car give out on me in a year.)

Lastly, my credit card has a $600 balance. But considering that balance was over $2,000 just a few months ago, I’m feeling rull good about this balance. So sue me.

Auto

I really, really wish I lived in a more walkable city with a dependable public transportation system, but I don’t. I have to drive everywhere. My car is old (2005) and is nearing 110,000 miles, but it’s in great shape and I’m hoping it’ll last me another few years.

My auto expenses include:

• Car payment – $228
• Gas – I fill up once a week for about $20
• Auto insurance – My six-month premium is just under $900, which feels insanely expensive, but every time I quote out another auto insurance company with the same type of coverage I have, the price is about the same. (Am I over-covered? I dunno! Tips welcome.)
• Oil changes – Around $30 every three months
• Car registration – $30 once a year

I’ve been lucky in that my car hasn’t need too many pricey repairs. I replaced all four tires a few years ago and recently had to get my brakes replaced, but that’s it. But now that my car is getting up there in mileage and years, I know I’m going to need more frequent repairs and replacements. But so far, she’s held up well and drives just fine! (*knock on wood*)

Other

Some of my different miscellaneous bills that don’t fit into any of my bigger categories include my cell phone bill, gym membership, and Spotify Premium. My cell phone bill is around $100, but this includes my leasing agreement for my iPhone and unlimited data. I pay $35 a month for the gym and $10 for Spotify Premium, which is worth every single penny (and I’m not even much of a music person!)

I’m also part of two monthly subscription services – Book of the Month, which is $15 a month, and Sephora PLAY!, which is $10 a month.

But that’s what my expenses look like today! On Friday, I’m going to talk more about my discretionary spending and specifically where my money went (after bills) during the first quarter of the year.

Truthfully, it’s going to be damn hard to push publish on this post because it feels so incredibly vulnerable to be this honest about my financial situation today. But I’m also tired of reading personal finance posts where it feels like people have all their shit together and can put away thousands of dollars into their savings or toward their debt. That’s not my situation because I’m a single person supporting myself on my own and I don’t want to live so frugally that I miss out on the things that make me happy. And honestly, I don’t have my shit together (something you’ll definitely notice on Friday’s blog post) and that’s okay. As long as I’m willing to admit my mistakes and learn from them and try to be better, that’s all that really matters.

And, honestly, I’m proud of where I am today because life was goddamn hard when I was growing up. Financial literacy is not a thing for those of us who grow up poor and functioned in survival mode for most of their growing up years. I’ve had to learn financial literacy the hard way, which included getting into credit card debt before I even graduated from college. But I’ve taken the time to learn and grow, and I’m in a pretty damn good place today. Maybe not by a financial planner’s standards, but by my standards. And shouldn’t that be the standard that guides my life? I think so.

1) My trip to Puerto Rico was the first non-cruise vacation for my mom and me in a really long time. Actually, excluding our weekend trips to Savannah, it’s probably the first real vacation outside of cruises we’ve taken together. (We didn’t travel as a family when I was younger.) And, guys, we’ve been spoiled by cruise ships. We quickly learned how much we enjoy not having to worry about where to eat every single day for every single meal. I missed just going down to the lido deck for lunch at the buffet and to the dining room for a yummy, sit-down dinner. Instead, every meal felt like a production. We not only had a find a place to eat (that would suit our very picky tastes!), but also had to figure out a way to get there. Should we just find a restaurant within walking distance or take an Uber? It’s funny because people who don’t enjoy taking cruises cite this very reason for why they don’t like them: having their meals decided for them. They want the freedom to explore interesting restaurants and cuisines! I’ve always said this is exactly why I like cruising (not having to come up with a place to eat every day/night), and this trip to Puerto Rico taught me that it’s completely true. I truly missed the simplicity of dining.

2) I am one of those weirdos who hasn’t done much travel by plane in my life. I’ve done a lot of road trips and cruises, so this trip to Puerto Rico was only the third time I’ve been on a plane. (I know, I know.) I have a lot of friends who have a ton of anxiety when it comes to plane travel – I’m talking “need a Xanax or a few glasses of wine before the flight” type of anxiety – so I was interested in how I’d deal with it. Turns out, no anxiety problems here! Maybe it’s the meds I’m on, but I found the whole experience rather fun and exciting. From lifting off to being in the clouds to touching down, it was all incredible to me. I even really enjoyed being in the airport. The people watching is sublime and I enjoyed just kicking back with my Kindle as I waited for my flight. It made me want to do a whole lot more plane travel – and soon!

3) When I’m in my normal life, I don’t really drink alcohol all that much. Maybe I’ll get a drink if it’s happy hour and there’s a special, but usually not. But when I’m on vacation, all bets are off. I’m getting a drink with every meal, who cares if that pina colada is $15? GIMME. It’s as if I completely switch to this different person – Vacation Steph. Vacation Steph must have a drink with her meals because otherwise, she’s not vacationing in the right way. It’s funny, the identities we give ourselves. At home, it’s rare for me to have a drink. On vacation, it’s rare for me not to have a drink. Maybe I think I’m not having the right amount of fun if I don’t drink while on vacation? I don’t feel that way at home; even if all of my friends are drinking, I don’t feel the need to do so, too. Or is it the money aspect? On vacation, I can spend money because I “earned this vacation dammit.” In my real life, I’m much more frugal and spending $9 on a cocktail feels sickening. It’s an interesting dichotomy… I know I could give up alcohol completely and not feel as if anything was missing from my life. But would I feel like something was missing from my vacation? That… I do not know.

4) I have discovered that I am a lazy traveler. I wish I was not. I wish I was someone who enjoyed scouring travel recommendation sites and finding interesting places to visit, but making so many decisions is overwhelming. Hence why I love cruising. With cruising, I don’t have to try to find the best deal on a hotel or Airbnb while praying those handful of bad reviews aren’t the more accurate picture. With cruising, I don’t have to decide where to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every single day. With cruising, I don’t have to plan what to do every day and look through lists upon lists of “top X things to do in Y place.” Cruising is just so damn easy. There’s very little decision making. The biggest decisions I have to make is whether to do an excursion or walk around while we’re in a port. To go to the dining room for sit-down breakfast or the lido deck for continental breakfast. To play bingo at 3pm or take a nap. To spend some time in the sun or stroll around the decks. Cruise life is perfect for the lazy traveler and that’s who I am.

5) I’ve long felt a bit of shame at the fact that I am not as well-traveled as I think I should be. Most of my travel has involved taking a cruise to tropical islands. I’ve been to Jamaica and Mexico and St. Thomas and the Bahamas… but only for a few hours and never to truly explore these islands. This past vacation was my first time in an airport since 2012. And 2012 was my first time in an airport ever. (A while back, I read a Twitter thread that had a shaming tone about people who haven’t been on planes a lot in their life, and apparently, that sense of shame has stuck with me.) Truthfully, though? I enjoy tropical, touristy vacations. I enjoy taking cruises. I have a limited amount of money to spend on vacations and a limited amount of time to take them, so why should I spend it doing something that doesn’t make me overwhelmingly happy? Why should I worry that other people scoff at all the cruises I take and think I should opt for less touristy travel? Backpacking through Europe or road-tripping across the country doesn’t appeal to me. A European cruise, on the other hand, most definitely does. I’m not going to apologize that my preferred method of travel is by cruise ship, and I’m sure as hell going to stop feeling shame about my lack of experience with airlines.