Stephany Writes

  • Home
  • About Me
    • Privacy Policy
  • Categories
    • Relationships
      • Dachshund
      • Dating
      • Family
      • Friendships
    • About The Girl
      • Personal Essays
      • Personal Finance
      • Introversion
      • Writing
    • Features
      • Currently
      • Five For Friday
      • Looking Forward
      • TGIF
    • Book Reviews
    • Goals
    • Health and Fitness
    • Life
    • Week in the Life
  • Book List
  • Travel
    • Asheville, NC
    • Cruising
    • San Juan, Puerto Rico
    • Savannah GA
    • St Augustine FL
  • Work With Me
  • Portfolio

March 14, 2017

What People Don’t Understand About Social Anxiety

March 14, 2017

In January, I wrote a post about social anxiety and it was the kind of post that I was scared to push publish on. Talking about my social anxiety makes me feel incredibly vulnerable, but I also refuse to keep silent about this aspect of my personality. Because keeping silent means I feel ashamed that I have social anxiety, and I’m not ashamed. Not anymore. I have simply accepted it’s part of who I am.

The first response I received to that blog post was… unpleasant, to say the least. I wrote out a lengthy response to this comment, but the email address was invalid. (Of course it was!)

I’ve never done this before because, generally, I don’t see the point in giving negative comments any sort of attention, but this comment showed me that there are people who really do not understand what social anxiety is, and it’s time to lay some truth bombs for these people.

Here’s the comment:

You sound like you have some real self-esteem issues. This seems like more than social anxiety, it’s a real problem with the way you think the rest of the world is constantly judging you. Literally no one cares how you park your car. You’re not an idiot if you have to look around a restaurant for your friends. EVERYONE has done this. You sound like you really need to get on medication and into therapy.

Ouch.

I won’t lie; for about five seconds after I received that comment, I considered deleting the post. I understand that when I decided to put my life on display via a public blog, I must take the good with the bad. But the bad really hurts sometimes. That comment hurt. But it also showed me how little people understand of social anxiety. So, let’s discuss some truths about it:

Social anxiety is about self-esteem and the fear of being judged by others. The comment above states that I have “real self-esteem issues” and “a real problem with the way you think the world is constantly judging you.” Funny enough – this person describes social anxiety perfectly! It is about self-esteem and it is about the way we feel people are judging our every move. This is social anxiety – our fear of how we are perceived in social settings. This fear is so pervasive that it can cause panic attacks at just the thought of going on a job interview or a date or your church’s picnic. And, since social anxiety develops based largely on environment, it’s those of us who grew up feeling less than, unwanted, unloved who often have social anxiety. We weren’t given safe spaces to grow, so we became fearful of the world and being judged.

We understand that our fear is not logical. When I’m in my logical mind, I know that nobody cares how I park my car. I know that I’m not an idiot if I have to look around a while before spotting my friends in a restaurant. I know that. But social anxiety does not play on logic; it plays on our biggest fears. Our fear of being judged harshly, of people laughing at us, of being embarrassed. So, yes, I will worry about people judging me for how I parked my car because that’s how my social anxiety works. You don’t need to tell me it’s silly because I know it is. I already feel completely ridiculous by how crippled I get by my thoughts when I’m worried about a social event. I already feel as if there’s something wrong with me because I get so damn worried all the time about things most other people don’t even concern themselves about. But social anxiety is not about logic, so please don’t make someone feel bad for the things they are fearful of. That’s not helpful, that’s harmful.

We are not weirdos with no social life. Thanks to years of deep introspection, understanding friends, and taking huge risks, I’ve developed a good social life. I didn’t always have this. I didn’t make any friends in college because I was too scared to speak up in class or talk to the people next to me. I cried every day the year I lived on campus and would hide out in the bookstore because it felt safe. I didn’t join any extracurricular activities in high school or college (well, aside for a semester of basketball cheerleading during 10th grade – how’s that for a fun fact?!) because I was too afraid of being judged. And then I learned about what social anxiety is and realized this condition described me perfectly, and I was letting it win. So, I joined a book club on Meetup, said yes when a new coworker invited me to her place to hang out, started talking more with the people around me at work. It’s been difficult and sometimes, I still wonder why I have any friends and why they even like me, but mostly, I’m happy I took risks and found the people who don’t think less of me for having social anxiety and, when I tell them about it, their response is, “Is there anything I can do to help?” (<– Best response to anyone who opens up about their social anxiety, btw.) Our social lives may be lighter than others, and we may turn down a lot of engagements because we know they’d just ratchet up our anxiety and make us incredibly uncomfortable, but we do have social lives.

We are not unfriendly and we don’t hate people. Not in the least! I may not be the most bubbly individual, and I may be able to endure an entire elevator ride without saying a word to you, but I don’t consider myself unfriendly. I’m just shy and have a hard time talking to people sometimes without stumbling over my words and feeling like a complete fool. I will do everything in my power to keep myself from doing that, so, usually, I just stay quiet. (Which is why I’ll opt for the stairs instead of the elevator if I see a group of coworkers waiting by the elevator when I’m leaving the office.) And I love meeting new people! Okay, okay. I like it. People are inherently fascinating and I want to talk to you – it’s just not always easy for me, so be patient with me, okay?

Ah, I could go on and on and on! I truly could. But this post is long enough already. I hope I made my point. I hope this person who left that comment understands how hurtful their comment was. And I hope they have a better understanding – and more empathy – for what we experience on a daily basis. Social anxiety is illogical and frustrating and makes me feel crazy sometimes, but I don’t deserve to be shamed for it. Shaming someone for a mental illness is such harmful behavior, and we need to be better than that.

For my comrades suffering with social anxiety and still managing to make a life for yourself, I am so proud of you. You are brave. You are incredible. You are worthy of taking up space.

9 Comments · Labels: About The Girl Tagged: introvert

January 17, 2017

My Social Anxiety Is Not a Weakness

January 17, 2017

hwzqgb-zjg4-daiga-ellaby

What time do I need to leave? What if I leave too early and nobody is there yet? What if I leave too late and I’m the last to arrive and then have to look around the restaurant to find them and look like an idiot? What if I can’t find a parking spot? What if I have to sit there and make conversation with one person and can’t think of a single thing to say? What if I can’t find anything on the menu I like? What about driving to the movie theater afterward? I know there’s a parking garage, but where is it? What if I can’t find it and I’m the last to arrive and my friends are waiting on me? What if I can’t find my way out of the parking garage easily? What if my car doesn’t start at the end of the night? What if I lose my keys or my wallet? 

***

Oh shit, the friend I was going to arrive with isn’t going to this event anymore. Now I have to show up alone – THE. WORST. What if I can’t find the location easily? What if everyone sees me trying to parallel park my car on the street and sees how terrible I am at it? What if I arrive too early and see everyone in the first shift and I look like a dork? What if I can’t find C when I get there and I don’t know what to do and just stand around looking stupid? What if I don’t know what I’m doing – I’ve never painted in my life? What if everyone is buddy-buddy with everyone and I’m just left alone, painting by myself? 

***

Social anxiety is about worrying about every worst possible scenario whenever you have to do something social. It’s spending the weeks, hours, and days leading up to an event downward-spiraling and falling deeper and deeper into your thoughts as you contemplate everything that could make you uncomfortable or feel out of place. It’s getting to an event and feeling like everyone is looking at you and judging you.

Even though almost every single social event I’ve gone to has been fine and I’ve wound up having a great time, I’m always going to worry about these events. Always. I will never not worry about them.

It’s something I’ve come to accept. Something that makes me so vastly different than the majority of the population.

***

The first event referenced above happened just this past week when I had plans for dinner and a movie with three close girlfriends. I know these girlfriends well. I love them. I had a great time with them. And yet I still spent the day leading up to our night out worrying about every little logistical detail.

The other event was a charity painting event I did with some coworkers and some people I didn’t know back in April of last year. I spent weeks worrying about that event, especially when I found out my best friend wasn’t going to be there to be my buffer. I considered canceling multiple times, but I didn’t have a good excuse, so I ended up going and asking another friend if she could pick me up on the way there. (This is one of my Social Anxiety Tricks: try to always show up to an event with someone else.) I ended up having a blast, but I couldn’t help feeling like a freak about how much I worried about everything leading up to that day.

And that’s just the truth of what having social anxiety feels like: it makes me feel like a freak. I can literally drive myself to sickness with how much I worry about certain social situations, and in doing so, it makes me want to just hide away and never make plans with people ever. Life is easier that way. I don’t have to worry about anything when my weekend plans are to binge on Netflix and read a book and take naps.

But life wasn’t meant to be easy. It was meant to be challenging and messy and crazy and wonderful. And I can’t get all that I want out of life if I become a hermit, hiding away in my apartment and never taking chances on something new.

If I hadn’t taken a chance and joined a book club in my area, even though I was so nervous leading up to that first meeting that my body was shaking, my teeth were chattering, and my heart rate was through the roof during the drive to the restaurant, I wouldn’t have met some of my best friends.

If I hadn’t taken a chance and started a new job in an unfamiliar part of town in a completely different industry, even though I couldn’t go into the break room for the first few days because I was too shy and didn’t make any friends for the first few months, I wouldn’t have grown so much as a professional and as a person. And I also wouldn’t have met Roomie. Or some of my most favorite people. Or realized that it’s totally possible to love what you do, even if it’s not your dream job.

If I hadn’t taken a chance and started an online dating profile and started saying yes to dates, even though I would spend the hours leading up to the date in the bathroom and get body shakes driving to the restaurant, I wouldn’t have met some of the guys I’ve met and have had some really terrible, really fun, and really mediocre dating experiences.

***

The the truth of the matter is that social anxiety is a part of who I am. It’s a challenge. It’s difficult to live with. It’s not something I would wish on anyone else. But it’s part of my story. It does not make me a freak. It doesn’t not make me less of a person. It just makes me a human who has limits when it comes to socializing. There are some events I know my anxiety cannot handle – like going to a networking event alone – and there are some events that I know I have to power through because the end result is worth the panic beforehand – like attending a charity painting event or going on a date with someone I met online.

I’m not defined by my social anxiety, but it is a big part of who I am. I’m learning to live with it. I’m learning to acknowledge the effect it has on me. And I’m learning to not beat myself up just because I have to worry about every single logistical detail of social situations.

And I’m learning to speak up about my social anxiety so that people don’t have to feel alone. I’m here and I’m listening.

photo credit

8 Comments · Labels: About The Girl Tagged: introvert, personal essays

July 20, 2015

The Struggle of Acceptance

July 20, 2015

11634090064_1a1e4f76f6_o

I’m afraid of missing out.

I’m afraid of not living my life by the mantra “YOLO!”

I’m afraid of wasting my time, of not measuring up to my version of success, of not measuring up to other’s versions of success.

I’m afraid of not being special, not being important, not being necessary.

I’m afraid of dying and I’m afraid of living.

Not that I’m suicidal, or even depressed. I’m not. Life just feels… overwhelming at times. There’s so much to do. So much to see. So much to measure up to. So much to hurt. So much to love. So much to be.

I’m afraid I can’t do it all.

I have friends who fill up their free time with adventures and funny dating stories and traveling and just doing. They don’t sit still. They have buckets and buckets of energy. I get tired from even one night out.

It’s probably why I hate dating so much. Even one date expends so much of my limited energy. And if the date goes well and then I have to consider adding a person into my solitary lifestyle? Forget it. It feels like too much work.

I always wonder what it’s like to be the kind of person who thrives on being busy, of balancing a ton of responsibilities. Someone who makes plans upon plans during their weekend, barely having time for sleep.

I thought I had accepted who I am.

I’m introverted, which means I get drained by social interaction.

I have social anxiety, which means my mind is constantly buzzing with worries of what people are thinking of me when I’m with them.

I’m highly sensitive, which means loud places and conversations rattles me.

All of this thrown together gives you a person who thrives on slowness. On quiet. On calm. On peace.

And I like that about me. I like that I am content in my own company, happiest for quiet nights in and lazy weekends.

But I also don’t like that about me. I don’t like that it takes so much energy for me to go out. I don’t like that my natural personality is one who is a hermit, and that I have to force myself to make plans with friends and accept social invitations.

And not to mention, when I do go out and be social, I never feel totally comfortable, no matter where I am. (See above: social anxiety) I’m always worried about something. I’m worried about the logistics of where I’m going. I’m worried about holding conversation. I’m worried about what people are thinking of me and if they actually even want me at this event.

It’s exhausting. It’s so exhausting to be in my head.

So what’s the solution? How do I let go of the fears and the worries and the constant anxiety? How do I finally start living a YOLO-kinda life? How do I stop being afraid that I’m wasting my time?

Therapy would probably help.

But more than therapy (which I do admit I need, no doubt about that), I think it comes to truly accepting who I am. Which is hard, when the whole world is filled with extroverts. And yeah, sure, introverts are having their time right now. But truly? Extroverts still rule the world. And I don’t fit into that world.

I’m a girl who hates to be busy. I like quiet weekends with one or two (or zero, even) social engagements. I don’t have the mental stamina to stay out all night (and I never have; this isn’t a cutesy “oh, I’m just getting old! Tehehe.” No. I was this way at 20.) and I hoard my alone time like a fiend.

And the people in my life understand this about me. They get it. I’m not saying I have friends who think I’m weird for my need for alone time. Quite the opposite. But there’s still this… fear… that I’m not doing enough. That I’m letting myself off the hook. That I need to be more extroverted… even though I am 100% not an extrovert and I shouldn’t strive to be.

(And don’t even get me started about dating. Dating is a whole other version of hell when you’re shy, introverted, and socially anxious.)

I’ve definitely come out of my shell more in the past few years. I’ve made a close circle of girlfriends. I try to make plans on the weekends, even if it’s just one thing and the rest of my weekend is spent puttering around my apartment, writing and reading. But it’s still hard to look at other people’s lives and realize how different mine is. How less exciting, less courageous, less bold. I worry that I’m wasting my time.

When it comes down to it, though, I think we’re all scared that we’re not doing enough. Some of us may feel like we need to get out more, while others may feel like they don’t know how to relax and unwind. We all want our lives to mean something. We’re all afraid of wasting this precious time on earth.

The truth is, we’re not wasting time or missing out or not living up to the “YOLO” standard. We’re all doing the best we can with what we’ve got. We’re all trying to be the best versions of ourselves, and sometimes we fail at that and sometimes we succeed and that is the absolute beauty of life. That is the power of the human experience – failure and success and trying.

Let’s all keep trying.

19 Comments · Labels: About The Girl Tagged: introvert, personal essays

February 12, 2014

On Being a Socially Anxious Introvert

February 12, 2014

I spent a lot of my younger years hating the fact that I was shy, that social situations intimidated me, and that I generally enjoyed being home by myself than out with other people.

My mom and my brother are the same way. We are all shy and quiet and introverted, homebodies to our core. My dad, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. He is loud and brash and extroverted and can make friends with just about anyone. He’s friendly and outgoing; I am not. It drove him crazy that he fathered two introverted kids who were quiet and shy.

And because of that, I spent a lot of time wishing I was more outgoing and making friends came easy to me. I wanted new situations and being around people to feel exciting, not intimidating. Extroverts tend to rule the world, probably because they’re just more outspoken and their personalities seem to shine a bit brighter than that of introverts. Introverts are happy working behind the scenes, while extroverts want the starring role.

I wanted to be a star. I wanted to exude confidence and friendliness and openness. I wanted to be that girl who had no problem making friends, who could easily chat it up with a stranger on the street, who could enter new situations feeling curious and excited, not terrified and overwhelmed. And I hated, hated, hated that I was not that girl. But more than that, I think, deep down, I always knew I wasn’t meant to be that girl. That wasn’t my calling in life, that’s not the person God created me to be.

And then I discovered what being an introvert really means. For my entire life, I had drawn the distinction that introverts are shy and extroverts are outgoing, when that’s actually not what it means to be an introvert at all. (Or an extrovert, for that matter. Shy extroverts do exist!) Introversion and extroversion depend on where you draw your energy from. For me, being around people can be overstimulating, overwhelming, and ultimately draining. It is only when I am alone that I can recharge my batteries and start to feel more like myself. That’s when I can restore my energy.

Truth be told, I actually really hate when I have more than one social engagement on a weekend. For me, if I have more than one social event happening on a weekend (and forget about weekdays – I hold those sacred and plan-free unless absolutely necessary), I feel overwhelmed. More than anything, I love quiet weekends where I have little to no plans. I will never be the girl with the full social calendar and I am A-OK with that. I’ve never needed to be social all the time (or even most of the time), and I’m learning to harness that knowledge and be okay with it.

So there’s one side of the coin: introversion. And I love that I’m an introvert. I love being a homebody, being quiet, being alone. There’s so much power in understanding yourself and learning to accept yourself for who you are and what you need.

And then there is the other side of the coin: social anxiety. I’ve never been formally diagnosed with social anxiety, but I can relate to many of the common symptoms of this disorder. So if I don’t have social anxiety, I have a very high level of shyness. Both social anxiety and shyness are largely ego-driven and come from the fear of being in unknown social situations and worrying about what other people will think of you. Being in new social situations can be extremely terrifying for me. I get stomachaches, headaches, and so much anxiety racing through my body that it makes me shiver (my teeth will actually chatter when I’m deep in fear mode).

The amount of anxiety I had when I started my current job almost brought me to my knees. It was the most intense anxiety I have ever had. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t stop my racing thoughts, couldn’t see past the unknown. I was so worried about my new coworkers and what they would think of me. I distinctly remember my second day of work, where I brought a frozen meal to heat up for lunch. It took so much courage for me to get up from my desk, walk to the break room, heat up my lunch, and take it back to my desk. Just the simple fact of knowing I would go into that unknown area of my new office where my coworkers would be chit-chatting with one another to heat up my lunch made my palms sweat, my teeth chatter, and my heart race. For most people, this is no big thing and, in hindsight, I feel silly acknowledging how difficult it was, but for me, it was a moment of celebration. This simple act took so much courage and, because of it, I was able to build on it and grow more and more comfortable at my new place of work.

My shyness is largely due to my low self-esteem and insecurity. I’m so concerned about what others might think of me that it turns me into someone who would rather keep to herself than try to engage people in conversation. It’s why I’m always the quietest one in a group of people (even when surrounded by friends I know well) and why I hate, more than anything, having attention on myself. It’s like there’s this bubble that forms when the attention is on me and all I can hear is the rushing sound of my anxiety racing through my ears. Everything else is muted, my whole body starts heating up, and forming words is nearly impossible. Everything seems to happen at warp speed and I don’t have enough time to keep up. My mind is five minutes behind while everyone else is operating in the present.

And that’s why most people who know me in real life don’t really know me. Because I can write 1,000 words on being a shy introvert and what it actually feels like to be one, but speaking about it is almost impossible for me, without stumbling over my words, forgetting phrases, and feeling completely overwhelmed by the attention. I guess that’s why I love writing so much. Because it is only through my words that I can freely be me. I can be honestly, authentically myself and get these words out of my head.

So while I would love to be a more outgoing, friendlier version of myself, I’m acknowledging and accepting my shy, quiet introverted nature. It’s freeing when you hone in on the truest parts of your authentic self, when you find your truth and learn how to live in it. I wasn’t made to be loud and brash and extroverted. I was made for the behind the scenes, I was made for quiet and calm and peace. That’s who I am, I’m accepting it, and I’m going to live in this truth with joy.

33 Comments · Labels: About The Girl Tagged: introvert

March 14, 2012

On Social Situations

March 14, 2012

For a long time, I hated the fact that I was shy. Quiet. Reserved. My dad is the opposite. He is loud and boisterous and friendly. He can talk to anyone, about anything, and immediately put them at ease. He is a pro at small talk. It used to bug him so much that my brother and I were not more like him in this aspect.

Over the past few years, I’ve grown more and more at ease with myself in being quiet and shy. Don’t get me wrong – I am just about the opposite around some people. With my mom and my brother and certain friends? I am loud and boisterous. I tell (witty?) jokes and feel completely at home with these people.

But it takes me a long while to let down my guards and open up. And even with people I’ve known my entire life – even with family – I remain shy and quiet and reserved.

Social situations are terrifying for me. I didn’t know what this churning in my gut, the sweaty palms and racing heart, meant when faced with social situations. I didn’t know why I remained locked inside my shell, watching everyone around me chatter and laugh. Why did my brain shut off? Why was the thought of being social so exhausting for me to think about?

Being an introvert and furthermore, having social anxiety can make you feel like a failure. As if there is something wrong with you and it’s better to not even try. I experienced these emotions more than ever a few weeks ago. I’ll remain mum on what exactly it was, but trust me: I thought I would be fine. I was nervous as hell and thought about turning the car around more than once, but kept telling myself I just had to go for it. Put myself out there. The worst thing that could happen would be that I would have a horrible time. It wasn’t going to kill me and maybe? Maybe I would meet a new group of friends through it.

Well, it was every bit as awful as I had imagined. While everyone chattered around me, I thought of ways of leaving without anyone seeing me. My brain turned off and I don’t think I could have held a normal conversation if I tried. I have never in my life felt more out of place than I did there. The truth was, I thought I would be fine. It wasn’t my first time doing something like this, but every time I think I’ll be ok. I envision myself being friendly and chatty, but can never seem to take that vision and make it a reality.

I’m learning that being quiet and shy is a part of who I am. I’m never going to be the most friendly girl in a room. I am reserved upon first meeting someone and even more so when I’m faced with a group of people I don’t know. I don’t want to be the girl who hides behind her blog. I want to put myself out there and stop living so small, but it’s scary.

I came home from the social event and cried. I was so incredibly disappointed in myself, so upset that I couldn’t be normal. Why was it so hard for me? What chromosome am I missing that social situations stress me out so much? Is this why I have a pitiful amount of real-life friends? Is it me? Is there something wrong with me? Just thinking of it all, thinking of all the ways I wanted my introverted ways to change was exhausting.

I am an introvert, plain and simple, through and through. I crave silence and solitude. I am happy being alone. I recharge my batteries being away from people, while extroverts recharge by being with people. And more than being an introvert, I think I also struggle with social anxiety. I haven’t been diagnosed with it, but the symptoms are there. Big, red, flashing symptoms that make me take a step back and think, “Oh, my God. This is not just me being shy. This is not just me being unfriendly. There is something bigger going on.”

I gave myself credit for trying it. For not letting my social anxiety completely define me for that moment. Even though I let it get the best of me in that situation, at least I tried. It can be so easy to let my introvertedness and (self-diagnosed) social anxiety grab me and hold me captive. Keep me at home, away from situations that stress me out. There’s nothing worse than being surrounded by people talking around you, laughing and sharing stories, and feeling completely out of place and invisible. If I had been more like my dad, I could have easily joined into the conversations, cracked a few jokes, and made everyone love me within minutes.

But I’m not.

I’m just Stephany. I’m quiet upon first meeting people, carefully taking everything in and piecing together my words in my head. I’m shy and not the best at small talk. I’m uncomfortable in social situations, especially when I don’t know the people I’m meeting. I quite possibly have a social anxiety disorder but I’m determined to fight against it, determined to take whatever steps needed to not let it define me as a person. I am so much more than my shyness, my introverted nature, my social anxiety.

So yes, if we one day meet, I may appear different than I am on my blog. Not because I put on a show for my blog, but because writing comes easier than talking. I could have a whole conversation with someone over gChat but get me in front of their face? I shut down. My mind stops working. My tongue gets tied.

And that’s okay. It’s okay that it takes me longer to warm up to people than others do, it’s okay that I keep my thoughts to myself until I feel ready, it’s okay to be quiet. But it’s not okay to let myself be ruled by this so much, it keeps me from being social. It’s not okay to use social anxiety as an excuse.

I’m taking baby steps. I’m not always getting it right, I’m not always beating it, but I’m taking measures to get there. And that’s the best I can ask of myself right now.

Are you more of an extrovert or an introvert? Do social situations stress you out, or excite you?

20 Comments · Labels: About The Girl Tagged: anxiety, introvert

November 10, 2010

On Being an Introvert

November 10, 2010

When I was a senior in high school, my best friend called me boring. Boring. Essentially, it was a huge criticism and caused me to spend the next few years hating everything about the word. And hating even more that she was right.

I began to equate my quietness and introvertedness (that’s a word!) as being boring. I hated it. I hated that she was right and I was boring. No wonder I have a hard time making friends, haven’t been on a date in eleventy billion months, and hate everything about the social scene. It’s because I’m boring.

A few weeks ago, Emily Jane wrote an amazing post about introverts and why we struggle with being social. It was a real eye-opener for me to find out there isn’t anything wrong with me. I’m not weird, nor do I need to seek out a more boisterous personality. There were so many interesting tidbits in the post that I won’t begin to talk about them here. The main lesson I took away from it was that I become overstimulated by too much social time and I draw my energy from being quiet. It makes complete sense to me. I cherish my alone times more than my people times. If I don’t get at least a few hours of alone time a day, I get stressed and jittery. (This is why it’s probably a good reason I changed my major from education to journalism. And why I hated my teaching experiences so much.)

My mom and I are both huge introverts. We spend many, many car rides in complete silence. To some people, we may look like we’re mad at each other or barely know one another. But the truth is, this is just the way we were made. If you were to tape a sensor to my brain to spew out everything I was thinking during these “silent” car rides, I don’t even know how many pages you would fill up! When I’m quiet and seem withdrawn into myself, it doesn’t mean I’m not engaged. The opposite is actually true. My mind never seems to shut off and there is so much happening in my brain that it would probably exhaust an extrovert.

I’m beginning to embrace being an introvert. I love the fact that being shy and quiet is such a huge part of me because there’s nothing to be ashamed of! While I would love to have more of my dad’s extroverted personality where he could get anyone and everyone to open up to him and become his best friend justlikethat, I realize it’s OK if I don’t. There are downsides to being so quiet and shy, mainly that it takes me forever to open up to people and let myself enjoy where I’m at. I worry too much about what people think of me. I can’t do small talk for anything. And I cringe at the thought of a car ride with someone I barely know.

But I need to stop worrying about that because it hasn’t gotten me anywhere in the past few years. I’m shy. Incredibly so. I’m quiet, to the point you may think I’m snobbish. (I promise I’m not.) Some may call me boring. So what? It’s who I am. I need to embrace it.

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? 

23 Comments · Labels: About The Girl Tagged: introvert

Meet Stephany

Stephany Hi, I'm Stephany! I'm a 30-year-old single lady, living in Florida. I love taking cruises, reading, writing, and spending time with family and friends. I am an introvert and a Highly Sensitive Person, and I'm quite proud and pleased with the quiet life I lead. On this blog, you will find stories about my life, book reviews, travel experiences, and more. Welcome!

Let’s Connect

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Recent Posts

  • What I’m Reading (2.20.19)
  • And Then There Were Three
  • Friday Questions (v. 11)
  • My Experience with Catered Fit, a Meal Delivery Service
  • What I’m Reading (2.11.19)

Archives

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy

Theme by 17th Avenue · Powered by WordPress & Genesis