October passed in a blur. It’s not a month I would particularly ever care to relive. It’s a month that holds pain, grief, and heartbreak. The weeks have passed in a daze. It still doesn’t feel real – I still can’t believe I honestly and truly lost my grandma. There’s this part of me that still thinks I’ll see her cooking in the kitchen on Thanksgiving morning, laughing and puttering around, making sure all her kids are happy.
I’ve tried to hold on to normal life as much as I can. I carved pumpkins with my roommate, dressed up for Halloween at my work, and even went on a date. I haven’t cried nearly as much as I think I should and sometimes don’t think I’m fully processing this loss. But how do you even begin to process a loss this huge?
I don’t know the answer. I’m just trying to keep moving forward. That’s what Grandma would want.
Obviously, my monthly goals weren’t on my mind last month. I’m still not sure I’m in the goal-setting mood, but I did want to make some goals because November is here and I want to make the most of this month.
November will be a good month. It’s my birthday month, it’s Dutch’s fourth Running of the Wiener’s race, and I’m going to visit The Wizarding World of Harry Potter for the first time. (Let’s not discuss the fact that I’ve never been when I live an hour away, mmkay?)
November is also Thanksgiving, the first one without grandma. I’m hoping it will be a good day, but I also know it will be a hard one. Grandma was the heartbeat of our family and a piece of all our hearts will be missing.
But let’s talk goals, shall we?
Win NaNoWriMo 2015 | That’s right – I’m doing it! I’ve already aced Day 1, so now I just have to keep on truckin’. Before November started, I had written 10,000 words of my current work-in-progress, so I’m hoping to hit 60,000 by the time the month is over. It’ll give me a solid base, though it certainly won’t complete my novel. But 90% of the way there is farther than I’ve ever been.
Exercise 4 times a week | I like having an exercise goal to shoot for because it keeps me motivated. What can I say? I’m just not at the point where I exercise for the hell of it. If I make it a goal, I’m much more committed.
Drink 32 ounces of water per day | Nope, it’s not nearly enough, but I won’t tell you how many ounces of water I’ve been drinking lately.
Make some doctor’s appointments | For starters, I need a dental cleaning and to get blood work done. I hate making doctor’s appointments, but it’s gotta get done.
Get a tattoo for my birthday | I have wanted to get a tattoo for years and I think age 28 is the perfect time to finally make this a reality.
What’s one thing you’re looking forward to in November?