My favorite part of the Holiday Council is when we have to come up with a theme for the upcoming year. It’s a big decision, right? One word, or phrase, or mantra, that is fitting for the types of things we want to achieve and feel over the next year. Molly does a fabulous job at helping us map out our theme, with her many worksheets, that delve deeply into certain visions and feelings and goals we’re seeking. How do we want to feel? What happened last year that made us feel proud? What happened last year that left us disappointed? What do we want to rock in 2014? What feelings do we want to leave firmly behind in 2013? It’s hard, but it’s easy. It’s scary, but it’s freeing.
Last year, my theme was do the work. I wanted to see big changes in my life. I wanted to lose weight, gain control over my finances, make friends, and stop feeling so dependent on my mom. Those were the big goals behind my themes. In some ways, I feel like I embraced this theme. I did the work by finding a new job because my old job wasn’t serving me anymore. I did the work when I cultivated new friendships and made an effort to be a more social being, even when it’s not in my nature. I did the work when I began doing more things on my own and accepting the place my mom’s boyfriend has in our family and discovered I am so ready to be on my own. I did the work by buying my own car and helping out with the bills more.
But there were many areas where I faltered majorly. With my health and losing weight and being stronger. With my anxiety. With my finances, and the fact that I’m still in credit card debt, as well as medical and school loan debt, and my savings aren’t anywhere near where they should be. When I let my social anxiety dictate my life. With my faith, and the way it no longer feels a part of me.
My biggest goal for 2014 is to lose weight. And I hate that this is still a goal for me. This unachieved goal has become such an area of defeat for me. Every year, it goes unmarked. I have no excuses. I have no reason for why I’m continually ending every year in a place that leaves me ashamed and sad and disappointed.
I don’t want to end another year feeling ashamed and sad and disappointed. I want to feel vibrant and alive and whole. I want to feel free.
There was one key phrase that kept making it into my worksheets while I was discovering what held me back in 2013 and what I’m aching to feel in 2014. That word was captive. I feel captive. I feel captive with my anxiety, my weight, my finances, my energy, my passions, my introversion, my shyness, my body, my inability to sustain a relationship, my faith, my fears. The list goes on and on and on.
So what’s my theme for 2014? There were so many words circling through my brain. Release. Joy. Strength. Radiance. Devotion. Boldness. Revelry. Abandon. Brilliance. Bliss.
And all those words mean something to me. They are all words I want to bring into the new year.
In 2014, I want to feel free, open, and in love with my life. I want to make big changes, do big things, see big results. I want my life to look completely different and I want to feel completely different by this time next year. Not just with my health, though that’s a big one, but with the overall feeling about my life. I don’t want to feel captive anymore. It’s a terrible feeling that grips you and keeps you from fully investing in your goals and being bold with your life. It holds you down, saps your strength, and makes you feel small and inconsequential.
I have big goals for 2014. Big dreams. And there is one word that’s going to keep me focused on my overall vision for this upcoming year.
In 2014, my theme is commitment.
I want to be committed to my health – to losing weight, getting in amazing shape, and developing healthy habits.
I want to be committed to my finances – to budgeting better, getting rid of credit card debt, and saving.
I want to be committed to my anxiety – to understanding how it affects me, finding a therapist, and opening up about my fears.
I want to be committed to my relationships – to strengthening friendships, being a better friend/sister/daughter/cousin/niece/aunt/granddaughter, and keeping my heart open to love.
I want to be committed to stepping out of my comfort zone – to adventure, taking risks, and saying “yes” more than “no.”
I’m excited to see what 2014 holds. It’s a year about commitment. About crushing my goals and staying true to what I want, even when it’s hard.
Have you declared a theme for 2014? If not, what’s one feeling you’d like to experience in this upcoming year?
I love that. I also really love “do the work.” I feel like I should adopt aspects of your themes.
I’m going for productivity this year. I need to strike a balance between my creative life and raising my little fellah (and, hopefully, inspiring him to have a creative life, too). So productivity, in the little snips of time I have here and there, in writing (essays, stories and journal entries). Other things certainly, but writing is more important than a consistently spotless house, or freezer full of crock pot meals.
Good luck, Stephany! 🙂 Best wishes for an amazing 2014!
Love this theme for you and love how you shared how you got there! I think you’re going to rock it in 2014!
I haven’t come up with a theme yet (still catching up on calls and such), but I’m thinking something to do with “Embracing It.” This year my theme was to shimmer – despite what happens and what I’ve gone through and I feel like I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve done that, so I want to spend the next year capitalizing on that and embrace where I am in life. Stay tuned!
<3 this. My theme is "take flight." Here's to a big, freeeeeeee 2014 🙂
I am in the EXACT same boat with you regarding weight loss. It’s sooo frustrating that I not only didn’t lose any weight this year, I GAINED weight. Argggg! Of course, my fitness level has improved a bit, but not nearly as much as I would have liked or expected after a year of running. I’m not sure what my theme will be for 2014 (I’m not even sure if I picked anything for 2013…) but I’m totally with you on commitment to weight loss. Let’s do this!
I think commitment is an awesome theme to go into 2014 with! I highly recommend trying Diet Bet if you are motivated by money. Having $25 on the line has really helped me keep things in check this holiday season. I’m still not 100% positive I’ll lose my full 4% because of all the holiday parties but I’m already down 3 of the 6 pounds I need to lose to hit 4% and get my money back – which I’ll probably just then put towards a new Diet Bet for the new year!
Given all the craziness that has been going on around me for the last 6 weeks, my theme will probably be something along Embrace Now. (Or let go, let flow. Or love harder.) I haven’t really decided as you can tell!
I can’t wait to see where 2014 takes you!
I do like this idea of thinking of a theme for the year, something to always draw your mind to during tough times–like a good motivating factor! My theme would probably be feeling grounded. I want to feel like I have roots somewhere, because currently I’m figuring things out! 🙂
love this so much! i haven’t thought of my theme yet but i love this idea and i love your theme. here’s to an awesome 2014!
Love your theme for 2014!
I have similar feelings as you in regards to 2013. There are goals that I wanted to accomplish and didn’t, like losing weight and paying down my debt. I’m actually five pounds heavier than when I started and my amount of debt is basically the same. It’s frustrating to realize this, but then I think of the things I DID accomplish, like buy a car, travel, and work on my career. I’m glad you’re also aware of your accomplishments in 2013.
I don’t have an official theme yet or anything, but I know for sure my main goal for next year is to pay down my debt hardcore. I’ll blog more about it after the new year!
I don’t know what my theme will be for 2014 yet… I don’t think I have really tried to figure out a phrase that will capture what i want to achieve in a year in the past. I think commitment is a good one as it applies to so many areas of your life.
I feel like i spent 2013 just treading water and trying to get by, so I am hopeful that 2014 will not feel like that…
You’ve come such a long way in the past few years, and speaking from similar experiences, committing to making the changes & (sometimes) taking chances on yourself is the best thing you can do. I know 2014 will be another big year for you, just as the last few have been!! I can’t wait to see what next year brings for you 🙂
Oh, I like this a lot! One of my goals this year is “be responsible.” I always want to stick to goals and act more like an adult, but I never follow through. I allow for “slipping up” and don’t stick to my budget/goals at all. My theme for the year is growth – I feel like 2013 was about letting go and releasing the hold anxiety had on me, and now it’s time to use that freedom to move forward and grow my life outward.