When it comes to setting goals, that’s just my thing. I love it. I love yearly goals and monthly goals and weekly goals and daily goals. I love checking things as complete and obsessively keeping track of where I’m at and where I want to go. Goals are my thing. So it’s fairly easy for me to come up with my yearly resolutions and break those down into smaller actionable steps, by way of my monthly goals.
It’s pretty easy for me to make goals, which is why I was excited to try out Nicole’s goal-setting workbook. It’s intense, it’s detailed, and it’s pretty incredible to work through if you geek out about goals, as much as I do. She breaks goal-making down in a completely different way, and it was pretty eye-opening for me, to say the least.
One thing she stresses, though, is about your obsessive goal. While I made long goal lists through her workbook, broke those down into a six-month time frame, and further down into action steps, she wanted us to choose one of the goals we set as our obsessive goal. The one we want the most, the one we’re willing to drop our other goals to make sure this one is getting marked as complete. The one that we crave the most.
My obsessive goal? I want to lose 50 lbs.
It’s been a goal I constantly am striving for and one I can never quite seem to mark as complete. It’s the area of my life that most make me feel like a failure, like I’m not measuring up. It’s this constant beast that hovers over me, pushing me down when I fail and laughing in my face when I stumble.
I connect a lot of my self-worth to my weight, and I know that’s not good, and I know losing weight won’t solve all my problems, but it’s more than that. It’s more than being skinny. It’s about pride, it’s about understanding my strength, it’s about proving to myself how capable I am of anything as long as I set my mind to something. This goal I can’t seem to achieve holds me back from so much, both physically and mentally.
Physically, I’m just tired and worn out. I want to be healthy. I want to move more easily, to not be winded after walking up a few flights of stairs, to be proud of my reflection, to stop being asked if I’m pregnant, to feel better, to sleep better, to have more endurance and strength and power. I want to be less addicted to food, especially sugar and carbs.
And mentally, I want to show myself that I can be committed and dedicated to this change. To completely alter the way I view food and exercise. I want to feel good about what I put in my body, to allow myself to indulge but also recognize when I need to deny myself. I want to be committed to the change, to trust the process, to do the work, put in the effort, step outside my comfort zone, be open to a different way of living.
It’s hard and scary and difficult and overwhelming. I feel frustrated and mad at myself when I realize how far I have to go, and I’m learning to extend grace to myself to accept where I am and understand that I have what it takes to get where I want to be.
This is my obsessive goal. If I fail every other goal on my list but emerge out of 2014 a slimmer, healthier, more energized version of myself, I will have done what I need to do. Honestly, I feel like this is my year. This is my time. This is when the change happens. I’m ready for it, embracing it, and excited to prove to myself that I can make this my reality. I can be a healthy person.
Commitment is my word for the year. It’s my theme to push me past what’s comfortable, what’s normal, what’s easy. It’s proving to myself how capable I am, even when I feel the least capable.
“Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the moment you said it has left you.”
50 pounds. I’m ready to hit this one out of the park.
Good luck, Stephany! My goal is smaller (I think you and I are about the same weight though, I just don’t see myself at that much smaller weight). I lost 4lbs since the beginning of the year, and I’ve got 25lbs left to feel like I’ve made a mark. I’m trying to do it right – with portion control and more exercise, although I have gone to lengths to cut out processed sugar and chocolates and candy (no chocolate or candy in 15 days, and no cakes, bagels, muffins, etc except one piece of quick bread on Friday). We can do this! We took on soda, we can take on this!
I think having one main or important goal is great. What’s better? Having a ton of goals that aren’t met or having that one goal whos ass you want to kick? You can do it!
Get it, girl! You can do it!
This is one of my goals for the year, but it’s not my obsessive one. Right now, I’m obsessed with paying off my debt. 😉
This is a semi-obsessive goal of mine, too. I need to get off my duff and work off some more of those pesky baby pounds. I have the same weight-as-self-confidence tie ups (something I am working on and doing a bit better about, but still a struggle) AND I would rather not have to afford new jeans. I would prefer to (comfortably) wear old jeans.
Good luck, lady! Let me know what works for you – and if you need someone to tweet at to keep you honest and motivated, let me know! I’m in. 😉
I like the idea of setting one big obsessive goal for yourself for the year and tackling it hard!!
Playing a bit of devil’s advocate, I’m curious where you got the 50 pounds number from, though? That just seems like A LOT of weight to lose and I know I’ve only met you once a couple of years ago but I did not think you looked like you had 50 pounds to lose, for what that’s worth! I find losing weight SO MUCH harder now that I’m a relatively healthy person all around (compared to 6 years ago when I first lost 30 pounds) so now I focus more on losing inches than pounds because the scale can be so disheartening depending on the day and week.
Good luck – you have so many people cheering you on!
Good luck with your goal! Weight loss is a tough one because it’s a lifelong adjustment but it’s really doable if you set your mind to it!
My obsessive goal for the year is definitely paying down my student loan balance by a significant amount.
Good luck, I’m sure you’ll achieve your goal! I’m going to aim to lose a similar amount this year – since moving in with my boyfriend last year the weight has just piled on, and I feel sluggish most of the time, maybe I need an obsessive goal too! FF xx
You’ve totally got this! This was a goal I obsessed on a lot, too. When I sought help for my eating disorder I put on quite a bit of weight and actually went a little over the recommended weight for my height. I know those scales aren’t always a good measure but it really bothered me. I tried for years to lose that weight (which is a whole other story since my focus post-recovery should not have been the scale or losing weight but I digress) but the scale really didn’t budge. It took five or so years and a complete mental overhaul before I was able to do it in a healthy way. I got to a point where it became more about feeding myself whole and natural foods because they were better for me than processed and packaged foods, and I exercised because I loved the way it made me feel vs. trying to burn calories. THAT is when I finally let go of my extra weight.
My suggestions/advice would be: find good-for-you food that you love. Don’t force yourself to eat something you don’t like just because it’s “healthy.” Find exercise you love. Also, prep as much as you can! I always feel better when I set aside time to meal plan/meal prep so I’m ready with healthy options during the week. Give this all of your effort but make sure the changes you make are ones that you can live with. You can totally, 110% do this. I believe in you!
The key is to just make going to the gym a part of everyday life. Lift heavy and focus on interval training, slow steady cardio will get you nowhere. Take a bootcamp class. Drink tons of water, skip anything processed/white and fill up as much as possible with fiber–veggies, gnu bars, almond butter, etc. Take fish oil once a day, garden of life probiotic, and drink as much lemon water as possible.
I don’t necessarily have a number in mind, but I want to lose weight this year. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and I’m just tired of feeling gross.
I hope we can both accomplish our goals this year!