I started reading personal finance blogs this year. Because 2014 was The Year I Was Going To Be In Control Of My Finances. This was it! I would learn how to save money, spend less on frivolous purchases and meals out, and start paying off my consumer, school, and medical loans. I scoured the Internet for budget spreadsheets and sat down to make a few financial goals.
Six months later, I’m still following the same bad consumer habits. I’m making budgets, but not really sticking to them. I’m trying to put systems in place, but wondering why they’re not working. I’m trying to take on challenges, but not putting forth the effort and dedication to see them through.
It seems to be a normal pattern in my life. I try to be super ambitious and make these lofty goals that sound fun in the before. It’s in the during that I lose my focus and perseverance. And it’s in the after that I sit here, my head down and energy depleted, another goal I let fall to the wayside because things got hard and I forgot about what I wanted in the first place.
Don’t trade what you want most for what you want right now is a quote I found in a magazine a long time ago, and it’s something I’ve carried around with me since then. What do I want most? What I want most is to be more responsible with my money. I want to follow through with my goals, so I can finally reach the end of a challenge and be proud of what I accomplished. What I want most is to completely change the way I view money and consumer habits, to stop living beyond my means and trust that giving up things I think I want now for big progress in the future is worth it. I live like it isn’t. I live like the present moment and my needs rightthisinstant are more important than future moments and how I want to feel.
We’re midway through 2014 and I’ve been beating myself up a lot because I’m not where I had hoped to be by now. I had hoped to have lost some weight and adopted healthier eating habits. And I had hoped to gain control over my finances, have paid off my credit cards, and started a four-figure emergency fund.
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As it stands, I’ve completed one of those goals – paying off my credit cards – thanks to a sweet income tax refund, but I’m still using my credit card more than I should. (I always pay it off, but then my other money goals get pushed aside.)
It’s hard being this honest about my struggles because it opens me up to a world of criticism. I know there are people reading this who don’t understand how I can’t just be stricter with myself. I mean, I accept that criticism will come. It’s warranted. It’s usually not helpful, but I understand where it’s coming from. But I’m six weeks in a “spendless” summer and I am not doing well at all.
I’ve become passive with how I spend my money. It’s not special to me. It’s funny because I don’t even get a lot of joy out of spending money. Sometimes, I’ll shop for clothes, pick out a few items to buy, and get to the register sick to my stomach because I know that a) I don’t need what I’m purchasing and b) that money should be going to my debt. I tell myself I don’t need to go out for lunch on Saturday, but then I do because it’s become a habit for me and good god, habits are hard to break.
I decided not to outline my spending for the past two weeks because, to be quite honest, I am embarrassed when I look at the numbers. I knew I had a lot of expenses this pay period, including celebrating my mom’s birthday, but I really completely combusted at the end of the two weeks. Just a complete mess, disintegrating all my hard work.
It’s not pretty.
I have to do something different. I have to approach this differently.
I need to learn how to live with less. I’m not even sure how to do that, quite honestly. I know where my weaknesses lie – occasional shopping trips where I declare I need work clothes! or I need vacation clothes!; eating out way too freaking often; not making budgeting and frugal living a priority – and it’s up to me to fix it. I am the only one standing in my way. I have to make living a frugal lifestyle a priority. I have to acknowledge that I am responsible for my money habits, nobody else.
Being frugal is not very fun, it’s not very sexy, it’s not very exciting. It’s boring. It’s saying no to plans with friends and turning away from the cute clothes at Target during my toiletries run and choosing my boring home-cooked meals over delicious take-out. (No matter how exciting or delicious I make food, it’s still not as exciting as take-out. Sorry.)
But the end result is worth it. Because the end result I have right now because I’m not following a frugal lifestyle isn’t worth it. This feeling of disappointment and annoyance at myself sucks. I want to stop the feeling of suck. I want to feel a change in the way I approach money and consumer habits. I want to see my debt go down, my savings go up, and my budget to feel less chaotic.
So, this blog post has been close to 1,000 words of rambling and I’ll stop here. As today is payday, I have been thinking about how I want these next two weeks to go. I can only think in two-week increments, and I think that’s okay for now. I’ve decided that, indefinitely, my goal is going to be to give myself a spending budget of $300 per pay period. That $300 will cover groceries, gas, toiletries, and any other expenses I have. (After bills are paid, anything leftover minus $300 will be put in my savings. And any money left over from the $300 at the end of the two weeks will also be deposited into my savings.) It sounds like a lot because it is, but I am trying to make this as doable as possible for me while still taking care of my debts and savings.
Gradually, I want to decrease the amount until I get to a point where I can survive on $200 or less per pay period. I want to do this until I am out of consumer, school, and medical debt and until my emergency fund is at $10,000. So, basically, for a long damn time. It won’t be easy, it won’t be fun, and I am 100% certain I will mess up along the way. There will be trips planned and expenses that pop up, but I want to hold myself to this standard as often as I can.
I still plan on doing biweekly updates on my progress because I think this stuff is interesting, and I need the accountability. At least right now. Through this process, I want to see a change in the way I view consumer habits and spending money. I truly believe I can do this and I truly want this. I’ve never been good at managing my finances, but there’s no reason why I can’t be. Seeking guidance from professionals like an Insolvency Practitioner Worcestershire can offer valuable support and guidance along the way.
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your money management skills? Mine? Oh, I’d guess a 3?
I had to really change my spending habits in my late 20s. It’s not like I was spending beyond my means, I just wasn’t using my money as wisely as I could have been. So just think of yourself as being a bit ahead of the curve ball as it seems like a lot of people I know don’t really get serious about their finances/saving until their upper 20s. I think the best trick is to automatically have some of your paycheck go somewhere – so a certain % to your 401(k) and then some to a savings account – I used to recommend ING Direct but they got acquired by CapitalOne 360. If I don’t see the money in my check book, I am less likely to spend it. Then you can use that amount that automatically goes to your savings account for whatever you need to use it for, be it paying down debt or savings or whatever.
Today I would say my money management skills are a 9 but I work in the finance industry so that dang well better be the case. But in my younger years I’d say a 5.
I’ve always like Gail Vaz-Oxlade’s thoughts on budgets & spending (though this could be a Canadian thing). She’s fairly no nonsense, but also practical. One of my favourite tips from her is about planned spending – e.g. I know I need new tires on my car this year, so each month I put a little away in my budget for this planned expense. This helps my not to blow my budget each month for big events that I know are coming. Just a thought! Also, good luck to you!
I get this post so much. Just. Yes. )
It is hard to get all of this sorted out and to a place where you are comfortable with how and what you’re spending your money on. I agree with Lisa; I think you’re ahead of the curve for being aware and wanting to make some shifts and adjustments.
I think that I/we (since we have joint accounts) are a 7 or 8 with our money management. We made some investments this year, changes to our 401(k) to make it more beneficial to us and that makes me feel good. And holy heck, like such an adult.
I second Lisa’s suggestion to automatically set money aside. That helps me SO much. Right now finances are super tight for me, so I’m only putting $25 into my savings each week and I had to stop my 401k, but as soon as Pete moves in with me (next week!) I am going to get more serious about both. What you don’t see you don’t miss.
I would rate myself around a 7. I am really anal about my expense spreadsheet. I track my checking account, savings account, credit card balances and student loans and I look at it 3-4x per week. I prepare my yearly budget in advance so I know in June if a large purchase will affect me in December. I would rate myself higher if I had more money, but because I’m so strapped for cash right now and unable to set anything aside, I feel like I can’t be any closer to a 10. My downfalls are all necessary evils: groceries (I would starve without food, but I could be better about sticking to a list and not buying expensive nut butters), races (those are so dang expensive but they keep me motivated and sane), running gear (without proper gear I would get injured), and my cats (their health is just as important as mine so the expensive food is worth it to me). The past few months have been tighter than normal…caring for a sick, feral cat is not cheap. I guess I could have let her go but to me, the money I spend on her isn’t for me. It’s for a “greater good” or something like that.
At times I feel like I am hard on myself with my spending, but then I remember that most people in their mid-twenties are not as concerned about finances as I am, and most people my age live at home or with a roommate but I’ve been completely on my own for 2.5 years, have managed to put away over 10k into my 401k and I haven’t gone into major debt trying to support myself. When I look at it that way, I feel a little better about my current situation.
Have you tried ordering toiletries online? I use wag.com for my cat food and supplies and it saves me from going into a store and being tempted to buy things I don’t need. My mom uses drugstore.com for all her toiletries and gets free shipping and discounts pretty often. Just an idea, I know Target is a dangerous place for a lot of us! Maybe eliminating it as the source of your toiletries would help eliminate some unnecessary purchases that you ultimately regret? Don’t let negative people get to you. We will always be a work in progress. There’s always something we could improve about ourselves. Perfect is not a reality. Don’t beat yourself up too much, my friend 🙂
I totally agree with Patricia. Some of Vaz-Oxlade’s tips are the best ones I have ever come across when it comes to spending/saving. YouTube ‘Til Debt Do Us Part’ if you want to check her out yourself; it’s a show about couples, but can totally apply to single people as well.
As far as myself, I think I’d give myself a 7. Not working has really put things into perspective as far as my spending habits go. I put much more thought into what I think I *need* to buy vs. what I actually need. It also helps that Kyle manages our accounts as far as saving goes.
You’re not alone in this being a huge struggle. No advice, just solidarity.
I think you’re aware of what you’re spending and want to improve, which is the first step and waaay more aware than most people. So give yourself some credit! Beating yourself up doesn’t get you anywhere.. I like your plan to take it two weeks at a time, think small!
I used to be way too strict on my budget and not only was it unrealistic, I’d rebel against those restrictions and myself and hit the disappointment cycle. Finally I gave myself a more realistic budget and it’s been easier. I don’t stay in the restraints of ALL my categories, but if early on I go over in food or something, I recognize I won’t be able to spend my entertainment budget so hopefully they balance out and leave me in the black. One of the budgeting tips is to make more money and it seems obvious and unrealistic all at the same time, but it’s true, a better paying job helped me out a lot. I think you’re right about not trading what you want most for what you want now and that you’re doing it the right way – a little bit at a time. We are struggle even though we know better and even though we know what we really want in the end. We want to be there NOW and since we can’t, we think we’ll never get there. I’m trudging along day by day and am so damn close, I have to have faith I’ll get there and you will too!
Girl, I hear you. It is really tough to break bad spending habits. I’ve been trying to battle my tendency to overspend by forcing myself to journal each night about (among other things) what I have purchased that day, how much I spent, why I purchased those things, and how I feel about it. So far it has really helped me to get a sense of when, why, and how I spend money and hopefully in the future I can nail down what my triggers are and put a plan in place to break my bad habits. It’s a work in progress.
The struggle is real, I promise.
I’ve been trying really hard to save money but it goes very quickly. $40 in toiletries is almost nothing compared to what I spend for toiletries and household products. As of right now, I am virtually living paycheck to paycheck.
It’s not easy to break habits but it is possible to break them. For instance, I used to go to this super high end grocery store to get lunch and normally spend around $30 a day for a lot of unnecessary things to eat. I told myself that it was because the food was healthier, fresher, whatever. Nevertheless, I was hemorrhaging money. So, I decided to stop going to that store for Lent and once Lent was over, I didn’t see the point in going there anymore.
I guess the biggest thing about breaking habits, whether it’s a take-out habit or a health habit, is that you have to really want to break the habit instead of feeling like you should because of who says what and where they’re saying it. That’s where a lot of people fail at their goals. I’ve failed at my goals many times for the same reasons and it’s gotten me nowhere.
Also, no excuses. Anything can be justified if the reason’s good enough. I do this a lot as well. I buy frozen food because I’m too tired to cook. I don’t walk as much because I’m at work all the time and I’m tired. I go to Barnes and Noble because it kills time between when I get to point A and need to wait to get to point B. The only thing I can actually not justify is my notebook habit, but I don’t buy a lot of notebooks anymore because I know I just want it because it’s there.
Lastly, do the work. You’re aware of this because of your dedication to writing, so it won’t be hard to apply this to other aspects of your life. You show up, you do what you need to do and there you go. But, it is work and work is hard so you are definitely making progress in acknowledging that things do need to change. If you have a savings account, set yourself up an automatic system where X amount of dollars goes into it every pay day. I do this a lot and I’m starting slow ($80 every two weeks). Otherwise, take an amount that you spend and save just as much. If you spend $40 at Target, put another $40 in your savings account. If you spend $10 on take out, put another $10 in your savings account. You’d be surprised by how much that money can accumulate. Hell, if you can save a nickel, then that is a nickel more than you had before and that is savings.
As for the debt? That may take some time. Most of the nation is in debt and if you’re paying down anything, that alone deserves some kudos.
I’m rooting for you; no-spend summer, spend less summer or spend everything summer. I believe in you and I know that you’ll be fine.
I get this so much. It is one of the toughest things I have struggled with the past few years, especially when I was living on my own after my divorce and could barely make the mortgage.
Automating savings or payments is helpful, but also making it sort of like a game is helpful too. Like with the toiletries, I spend maybe 5-10 minutes a week looking at flyers from CVS, Target and market to see what’s on sale and maybe clip a coupon or two. Sure, it only saves me maybe five dollars or so, but every little bit helps. The other thing is I was a huge shopper- would spend lots of my free time looking for good deals or just looking to see what I could find. But I found that I ended up with a closet full of stuff that I could never wear because I didn’t have money to go out with friends or go on little trips.
It has taken a while, and I still struggle a lot because with a house there are still expenses that I can’t plan for and those are always the most obnoxious, most expensive ones. I think what has helped me get through it all is knowing it gets better and that I’m trying my best everyday to move forward and get rid of debt.
I hear you on so much of this post. It’s HARD to change habits, whether they are good or bad. I think I’ve gone a little astray with lifestyle inflation ever since I got my new job, and that’s something I need to do better at keeping in check because, well, there’s NO NEED for lifestyle inflation, at least for me. I think the biggest thing for me is to realize that there are NO EXCUSES and that I need to do a better job of holding myself accountable. We’ll get there… eventually!
My money skills are bad. They aren’t as bad as they were, and I’m taking steps to change them, but it’s like everything else in life. It takes time to adjust to new habits. I’d put myself at a 4 I guess?
Here, I think, is the post you need to read today: http://www.budgetsaresexy.com/2014/06/do-the-best-you-can-dummy/
I would rate my money management skills at a 7. I keep track of everything I spend and my monthly income in an Excel spreadsheet. I always pay my bills on time and I check my bank account every day so I always know how much money I have. I put 10% of every paycheck into my savings and I have a retirement fund. And I’ve made paying off my debt a big priority in my life.
HOWEVER, like yourself, I still have a hard time living a frugal lifestyle. Even though every month I say I’m only going to spend $100 on eating out and $100 on spending, I still manage to go over those budgets. While I don’t go out to extravegent dinners and shop at Prada, I’m still having a hard time being frugal every month. It’s been six months since I decided to improve my finances; one major lesson I’ve learned about myself is that I will never be one of those PF bloggers who just doesn’t spend anything ever. Personally, I like being able to spend my hard earned money on myself once in a while, and as long as I’m putting a good majority of my hard earned money toward my debt, I should still be able to spend money on things I want, too.
When you set a goal and you find yourself not being able to accomplish it, normally I would ask you if improving your money management skills is something you REALLY want to achieve. But since it’s money management, you don’t really have a choice. You need to improve your money management skills– we ALL do. Our credit scores and retirement funds and futures depend on it. The important thing is that you’re being self aware and you realize you need to pay off your debt and save money. As for getting there, it’s going to take work, but you’ll get there. I agree with a lot of other commenters that habits, good or bad, are hard as hell to change. But as long as you’re trying, you’ll get there!
As for now, try not to be so hard on yourself. At least you’re trying to improve your money management skills in your mid-twenties. I’m pushing 30 and just now making this change! I bet by the time you’re my age, your debt will be paid off and you’ll have a good chunk of money saved. 😉
I think I would rate my skills as a 7/8 and Eric’s as 5/6. We definitely balance each other out as I like to be REALLY frugal and he shows me that it’s important to also live a little. We don’t have any debt right now except for our mortgage, which is pretty awesome, but we’re looking to buy a second vehicle very soon so will be acquiring some debt there. My biggest fault is that with the exception of my retirement savings I’m really bad at saving for “nothing”. So when I was saving for our trip I was really really good at being frugal and saying no to things. But now that that’s over I’ve had a bit more trouble reining it in. I also find summer in general is a harder time to save money because there is so much to do and spend money on!
Anyways, I think you need to just keep doing your very best and try to be kind to yourself even when you mess up or have a bad couple of weeks! There are worse things you could be doing in this world than spending too much money!
I would say I am around a 6 and Bill is around an 8. He is definitely better with money than me. Buuuuut, we both like to spend. We both like to fun things that end up costing each other money. It’s hard to say how good we are with money right now because I feel like we are bleeding money with the wedding and the new house. Sadly, we are not going on a traditional honeymoon after the wedding date, instead we are going on RAGBAI, which is a week long bike ride across Iowa (which I am REALLY looking forward to as a honeymoon, I might be nuts!). With all that being said, we haven’t settled into a groove yet, and I am curious to see how we do together once we have really combined all our money! We’re still separate accounts right now!
I think you are doing a great job, and like Lisa said, you are ahead of the curve! Is there extra money coming in that you can use as your “fun money” I know that I use the cash I get from tutoring and from the daycare I help out at as my cash and “fun money” and that seems to work really well!
I’m probably a 5… I’m not great, but I’m not terrible either. Sometimes I’m good at saying no to myself, and then other times I’m like “Oh I really want this” when I don’t really NEED it. We don’t really have any savings to speak of and have had our parents bail us out a couple of times when emergencies have come up. Of course, it hasn’t helped that I haven’t had a full-time job in 2 years (ugh) and we lived in the most expensive part of the country until this past January. I think things are slowly improving but it’s still really hard. The hardest part really is saying no because as I emailed you, you only get to spend it once. Until we become independently wealthy, of course. 😉
It’s probably already been suggested (didn’t have time to read the other comments), but I would suggest removing temptations wherever you can. You seem to have a great handle on the systems you want to try, but as with so many other things in life sometimes “moderation” isn’t an option in the beginning. If you know Target is your Achilles heel, don’t go there. There’s a lot of places to get toiletries and household items that don’t also sell awesomely cute stuff 🙂 When I was in my early/mid-twenties I had to totally stop shopping online. Like, no Amazon for about 4 years. Not because it was totally out of control, but 80% of the time I wound up with things I didn’t need.
I’d say I’m at a 6 or 7 right now, mostly because my student loans are insane and I need to up my retirement contributions. Not having a car has helped curb my reckless spending like whoa! Major props to you for your honesty and determination. You’re doing hard work and that’s brave!
I’d like to say I’m getting better with my money… but I’m only really getting better with tracking it. But savings? Nope. Don’t have any and haven’t in a long time.
Best of luck with your financial goals!
$300 per pay period for groceries, gas, toiletries and other expenses doesn’t sound like that much. We easily have that for just groceries (granted, this is for two people).
I think what others suggested is right: try to avoid temptations wherever you can. Don’t go to Target unless you absolutely have to and when you go, have a list and stick to that list. I realized that I have a lot of toiletries and I vowed to use them all up before buying any more. The temptations are definitely there and it will help to avoid them as much as possible.
I am not sure what your salary is and what living expenses are like in Florida (and I am not asking you to disclose this), but I feel that you have a pretty good handle on things and going out with friends doesn’t always have to mean “spending lots of money”. Just go out for coffee at the park, instead of lunch. I think working on your established habits will help a lot.
Ah I’m really feeling this right now. The last few months I’ve been very liberal with my spending and this isn’t me at all! I think I haven’t been taking care of my figurative foundation and this includes money and health. So recently I’d say from a scale of 1-10, I’m about a 5. I’ve been spending more than I’m making which is NOT like me, and being late in my bills, NOT LIKE ME AT ALL.
Generally, I’m a 7.5-8. I doc myself points for not being better at retirement or investments. But before the last few months, I have the emergency fund, never spend more than I make, double up on my student loans, and save a little.
This post has motivated me to peek at my checking account. Yikes. And make time tomorrow to meal plan. Eating out really sucks the life out of your accounts.