I wasn’t sure if I wanted to say anything about the election. I don’t really talk about politics much, especially on this blog, but I feel like I have to. Writing is how I process my emotions and, right now, my emotions are a mess. And so I write.
I’m grieving right now. Some people have compared this state of mourning that our country is in to a breakup. The kind of breakup that comes out from nowhere and takes your breath away. The kind of breakup where you thought the future was bright and happy, you had dreams for the two of you, and suddenly, all of that has been taken away. I’m grieving for the future America could have had.
I never thought I would cry over an election. But that’s what I’ve been doing for the past two days. I cried when I saw the results at 3AM Wednesday morning. I cried at work when I talked to my coworkers. I cried in my cubicle when I listened to Hillary’s concession speech… and then sobbed for a solid five minutes afterward. I cried on my way home from work. I cried reading news articles and listening to podcasts reacting to the horrific news that a racist, sexist, xenophobic, unqualified, failed businessman was voted to be the leader of our country.
I want to know when this will feel less raw. When I will feel less shocked. When everything won’t feel so hopeless.
I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed in my family members who voted for hate. I’m disappointed in my state that voted blue in the last two elections, but red in this one. I’m disappointed in protest voters in swing states, who would rather take the chance of hate winning than vote for Hillary. I’m disappointed in the 47% of eligible voters who didn’t show up on Tuesday. I’m disappointed that 25% of the voting population believed in Trump’s message.
I was and am an ardent Hillary supporter. She has her faults, for sure, but so does everyone. But I am so goddamn proud of this woman. She put up with more shit than any other presidential candidate has had to deal with. She had to run against a joke of a presidential candidate, and she handled it all with class, beauty, and grace. She has a backbone of steel. She is a woman to aspire to be. I am sad she is not our president. I really wanted her to be our president. She was the most qualified candidate to ever run for president, and she lost to the most unqualified candidate to ever run for president. That sickens me.
But let me be clear: I am not upset because a Republican won. I am upset because hate won. I am upset that someone who ran on a platform of bigotry and hate, someone who thinks sexual assault is a joke, won. I am upset that he won. If it had been Cruz or Rubio or Kasich or, hell, even Jeb, I wouldn’t be excited, but I also wouldn’t be scared.
And that’s what this comes down to. We are afraid of our president-elect. People are fearful of what he might do, based on what he said during his campaign, based on his actions and the actions of his supporters. And that is not okay. We should not be afraid of our president. That’s not democracy, that’s dictatorship.
That’s not the America I want to live in. That’s not the America we should be living in. Not in 2016. Not after so much progress has been made.
I’m allowing myself these feelings of grief and sadness, no matter how many people tell me I’m being melodramatic or that I need to “pull myself together.” I’m letting myself mourn as long as I need to because we are living in our worst-case scenario.
But soon, when I’m ready, I’m going to start fighting. Because hate will not win. Hate will not defeat us.
We can let this empower us to take action. To advocate for those who are in fear of their rights being taken away. To be kind, to be tolerant, to listen. Start with this list to find the different organizations to donate to and volunteer with.
I’ll end with the Bible verse that Hillary quoted in her concession speech: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)
Let us not give up. Let us fight. Nasty women, let’s fight.
This has been a rough week. It’s tough to not feel defeated. I identify as a Republican, but I voted for Hillary because I had to put my party views aside and vote for the person that I felt was best for our country. I thought more Republicans would do the same, especially since Trump didn’t have support from key members of the party like Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan. But somehow, he won. We have some serious work to do and I just hope and pray that he presides over this country with a different tone and that some of what he spoke of during his candidacy doesn’t come to fruition. It’s a scary time for sure, but I’m really trying to get to a place of hope, as hard as that is right now. It feels like we woke up to the rule of Voldemort, honestly.
I echo Lisa’s comment. I tend to find myself in the middle of the road when it comes to politics. I wasn’t a Hillary supporter from the beginning and didn’t agree with everything she stood for, but I voted for her because Trump scares the crap out of me. I come from a pretty conservative family, and as I’ve talked to my family members who voted from Trump, I’m realizing they did so more because they desperately wanted to see a change – not so much because they agree with his beliefs. I still don’t get it 100% because no matter what I could never vote for someone so hateful. I feel that basic human rights should come before anything else. I am scared for anyone who is not a college educated white male. As a college educated white female, I know my fear can’t compare to what people in the various minority groups Trump targeted feel right now. It’s scary. I live in a blue state, in a town where registered democrats outnumber republicans 2 to 1, and Hillary only won my town by TWO votes. Two! It’s unbelievable. I hope with every fiber of my being that the results indicate that America wants “change,” whatever that may be, and not that half of America is made up of racist, homophobic, classist bigots, because that is not an America I can stand behind.
Hugs, friend.
Ugh I don’t even live in the States and this election wrecked me. Honestly part of the reason it wrecked me so hard is because I come from a very conservative family – they are the epitome of many Trump voters – blue collar, working class, white and uneducated. And the things they were sharing on Facebook and saying during the campaign and after disgusted me. I had a few facebook fights with them and ended up deleting my uncle off my facebook. Not because he disagrees with me or has different political stances than me – or else I’d have NO family on Facebook – but because he was being openly offensive, sexist and derogatory. I will not stand for that and I have decided going forward – especially after this election – I’m really done standing for that bullshit. I will speak up against it every chance I get, in person, on Facebook, whenever.
Hoping and praying the next four years go by quickly and not too much damage is done. Someone shared a map that showed what would have happened if only Millennials had voted and basically the entire country was blue other than 3-4 states. THAT more than anything gave me hope for the future.
You said it all perfectly. I cried because I am legitimately scared of Trump will do as a President and because I am so, so sad that our country voted for hate. As an Ohioan, my state, like yours, went blue for Obama twice and chose Trump this time. I cannot fathom that. Like you, I am ready to fight though. I’m done playing nice and not rocking the boat.
Your last line is my favorite. Nasty women, we got work to do.
I am so glad you posted about this. It helps me tremendously to read my friend’s thoughts on the election outcome. I share your feeling, it’s not that the election results favorited a Republican, it’s that they favorited Trump and that people are not just not-in-favor of the president-elect, but afraid of what he might do. That’s a whole different ballgame.
In my opinion, there is no reason or explanation why people voted for this man. You can’t just throw all good judgement out the window and vote for him because of a single issue.
High level people (like the CIA director, Obama…) said that he’s unqualified for the job and that you can’t trust him with sensitive information. THAT is a real deal-breaker….
I am also really disgusted that we’ll have to listen to and look at him for the next four years. It makes my stomach turn.
The only silver lining I see is that people might wake up, stop being complacent and actually start organizing and doing something about this.
Thank you for this. It still feels raw to me, too. And I feel so disenfranchised as a liberal voter in a small red state. (KY) I’m with you in really liking Hillary, not just seeing her as the lesser of two evils.
Stay strong, Stephany, and I’ll try to, too.
I freaking love this post. I hate the hell out of last week and I’m still shellshocked, but I feel a little bit buoyed every time I read something like this – heartfelt, gutsy and determined. I’ve seen friends say ‘holy crap I need to get out’ and then realise that staying and fighting for what’s right makes sense. Nasty women, the rest of the world is with you.