How I Set Boundaries with Technology

A few weeks ago, I came across this blog post by someone I follow about the boundaries she’s setting for herself in our digital age. It got me thinking about my own boundaries because, for someone who struggles with anxiety and is a classic introvert, being constantly tied to my phone and social media apps is not good for my mental health.

At this point in my journey, I am very aware of myself and what I need. I know what aggravates my anxiety and what boundaries I need to make sure I’m living my healthiest possible life. It’s not always the most popular method, and it might get my millennial card revoked, but taking care of myself, my feelings, and my energy is of utmost importance to me. So here’s how I make sure I do that:

1) I removed Facebook and Twitter from my phone.

This was a recent change I made, but it’s been so great! It’s nice to not have the constant notifications, or even the little red bubble to inform me I need to check my Facebook app right this second because what if there’s an important notification waiting for me? Facebook always makes me feel overwhelmed when I check it because there are so many conversations happening and I feel pressure to like and comment on every status. The only reason I haven’t deleted my profile entirely is that my book club organizes our meetings and events on there and in that sense, it’s helpful. Often, I forget that I’ve deleted Facebook from my phone so I have to remind myself to check it on a website browser once a week or so. There have been a few important things I’ve missed (like people messaging me over Messenger, which I also deleted) but overall, it’s been a lovely change and I don’t see myself adding Facebook back to my phone anytime soon.

As for Twitter, I deleted that app because I so rarely check it anymore and I can’t remember the last time I posted a status. Plus, my feed is filled with a lot of politics (since I followed a lot of news organizations and political pundits after the election) so it can be a very dark hole to drop into. I don’t need that in my life!

Implement it yourself: Choose a social media app and remove it from your phone as an experiment. Maybe you only want to do it for a few days. But see how it goes! Do you miss it? Or have you forgotten it even exists?

2) I never check my work email after hours.

I know that this isn’t a possibility for everyone, but for the way my job functions, there’s no reason for me to be tied to my work email when I’m not at work. I also refuse to check my email when I’m on vacation. I’ve never downloaded Outlook to my phone or added my work email to my email app. Nope. Not happening. Having a clear separation between my work life and my personal life is necessary for me. I love what I do but it also takes a lot out of me, and I need to not think about work when I’m not there. There’s something so wonderful about being completely disconnected from work in the evenings and weekends.

Implement it for yourself: Set boundaries with your work email. You don’t need to be tied to it at all times. Remove push notifications and give yourself a specific time that you’ll check emails, maybe at 8 p.m. before you start to wind down to bed.

3) I try to take a social media break once a year for a full month.

I don’t do this every year (I won’t be doing it this year), but it’s something I try to do every year if it makes sense. I love social media but there can be a lot going on. When I used Twitter and Facebook more frequently, along with Instagram, getting off social media for a month was essential. You don’t realize how noisy your mind can be with social media (so many opinions!) until you take it away. It’s so relaxing to just be and not have to worry about posting status updates or taking that perfect shot for Instagram. You can just do things without documenting them! What!? Don’t get me wrong – I love documenting my life and taking videos of my cats and taking perfect Instagram-worthy pictures. But it’s nice to get away from it for a month.

Implement it yourself: Maybe taking a full month off social media is too much for you to contemplate. Start small! Take a weekend off or a full week off. You’ll be amazed at how freeing it is to get away!

4) I use the Instagram mute option frequently.

Instagram is my favorite social media app. I never use Facebook or Twitter anymore, as mentioned above, but I can’t stop, won’t stop with Instagram. However, there are times when Instagram can be a difficult place to be. It can be where I see my friends hanging out without me, or life updates that bring the envy monster out. I don’t want to be this person who gets jealous like that. I know it’s ridiculous and I have spent a lot of time in my therapist’s office talking about it. But it’s also who I am, and it means the best thing I can do for my mental health is to mute people whose pictures and Stories I just need to take a break from for a little while. These are people I don’t want to fully unfollow; I just need to protect my mental health for a bit and keep Instagram as a place that makes me feel good and happy when I open the app.

Implement it for yourself: Next time you’re scrolling through Instagram, check in with yourself. Does this person’s updates make you feel jealous or envious? Are you getting aggravated every time you see this person post a Story? If those negative emotions come up, mute their posts and/or Stories. It doesn’t have to be forever, but taking some time away can be so good for your mental health.

5) I mute phone notifications.

Phone notifications are the bane of my existence. I remember when I had Instagram notifications going straight to my home screen so I could track every time someone “liked” my photo. And if I wasn’t getting any likes, that could send me into a downward spiral. So I muted phone notifications. I only get notified for breaking news alerts via CNN and for texts. However, I’ve muted any group texts I’m a part of because I’ve found that those can overwhelm me when everyone is texting at the same time and notification after notification is pinging my phone. My phone is a quieter place because of it and I love it so much. (However, I recognize that this is why I’m terrible at using dating apps because I never want to be on my phone and I’m not the best at responding to texts in a timely manner. Is my millennial card revoked now?) I’ve also set up Do Not Disturb from 8:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. on my phone, which might be one of my favorite features of the iPhone. (In addition to the Do Not Disturb feature turning on whenever I’m driving.) Anyway, I know most people would hate to miss out on notifications but it just means I have to be intentional about my phone usage and remembering to check in on apps if I’ve turned off notifications.

Implement it for yourself: Are there some apps that are constantly bugging you with notifications? Open up your settings and remove their push notifications from your life. You don’t have to be as strict as I am, but let’s face it, a lot of these damn apps are disrupting us with inane notifications that we don’t need.

6) I use my personal email inbox strategically.

Here’s my truth: I get very anxious when I see other people’s personal email inboxes and they’re just a long list of opened and unopened emails. I can’t handle that. I have developed a few strategies for handling my personal email inbox so it works best for me.

First, I use their filters to make sure some of my emails skip my inbox entirely. This includes email newsletters and emails from retailers. I love both very much, but they can clutter up my inbox easily and stress me out. By keeping them in a separate folder, they’re there for me when I need them.

I’ve also recently started using multiple inbox system that I learned about on Kelsey’s blog. You guys, this has been life-changing for me. It basically entails enjoying “Inbox Zero” on your main inbox while keeping important emails you either need to read or respond to visible. I’ve been enjoying this new inbox system so much because it puts everything in a specific category so I know exactly what I need to respond to when it comes to blog emails, bills to pay, etc.

What are some ways you set boundaries with technology?