best of 2015

Categories: Best Of

Best of 2015 | Reviewing My Goals

Happy New Year’s Eve! I am most likely third-wheeling to a party a coworker is throwing with my roommate and her boyfriend, but I think I will have fun. As much as I’d like to stay home, I’m trying to remind myself of all the lonely NYEs I’ve had where I’ve been alone and sad. A little perspective never hurt anyone.

To conclude my “Best of 2015” posts for this year, I wanted to review the goals I set at the beginning of the year. It’s blowing my mind that I set these goals a year ago and now I’m here, thinking about what I want to accomplish in 2016.

Let’s take a look back at the goals I set, shall we?

1. Complete the Book Riot Read Harder Challenge (and read 52 books).

This year, I ended up reading 90 books! That’s one of my highest totals ever. (I read a ton of books in December, ha!) So I definitely blew my goal of reading 52 books out of the water completely.

My other reading goal this year was to complete the Book Riot Read Harder Challenge, and I completed all but two categories. I have no desire to read books in those categories anyway, so I am counting this goal as complete. Yay!

2. Get a tattoo.

Nope, I did not complete this goal. I want to get a tattoo, but I’m also encountering some inner resistance that has me hesitating. And until I can figure out what is causing the resistance (do I really want a tattoo, or do I just think I want one?), I don’t want to put such permanent ink on my body. One day, though!

3. Move into my own apartment.

Yes! I am typing up this post from my apartment in Tampa, which I share with one of my best friends. This was my biggest goal for 2015 and I am so happy I made it happen.

4. Put 20% of my income towards savings/debt each month.

Uh, no. I forgot I even had this goal. This year was a strain on me financially between moving and some traveling and car repairs. And I just chose other priorities rather than focusing on this goal (let’s face it: I did not need half the stuff I bought for my new apartment).

5. Travel to a new state.

Nope – the only traveling within the U.S. I did was to St. Augustine and Savannah.

6. Race a 5k.

Yes! At the end of March, I completed a 5k in Savannah. It was a beautiful race as we ran through the historic squares and Forsyth Park, but it just affirmed how very much I hate running. No more races!

7. Master the 80/20 rule for healthy eating.

Not even close. Eating healthy on a consistent basis continues to be an area of immense struggle for me.

Okay, well, in terms of my 2015 goals, this year wasn’t too successful. But even though I love to set yearly intentions and strive to achieve them throughout the year, I don’t beat myself up too much about not marking everything as complete. That’s not exactly the point. The point is to have a guide for what I want to accomplish.

I am making goals for 2016, as I am hoping this is a year of immense change – with my health, my finances, my relationships, my writing. I will be finalizing them over the weekend and sharing them on the blog next week. I love setting yearly intentions, to visualize how I want my life to look like a year from now and setting goals to make that dream life happen.

How do you feel about yearly goals – yay or nay?

Categories: Best Of

Best of 2015 | My Top 10 Books

It’s one of my favorite things to review every month and it’s most especially my favorite thing to review at the end of the year: what I read. I am an obsessive reader who would honestly always choose a night in with a good book over a night out. (Like, right now, my roommate wants me to come out with her to a NYE party and I honestly just want to stay inside and read a really fun romance novel. The heart wants what it wants?)

Reading is my favorite pastime and I make a ton of time for it. When I’m sad, it’s my comfort. When I’m happy, it’s my treat. When I’m anxious, it’s my calm. When I’m angry, it’s my escape. Reading is my safe place. It’s where I learn and grow, where I find my center.

2015 was an exceptionally good year for reading, and I’ll most likely end the year with 91 books read. What can I say? I like big books and I cannot lie. (Yes. I went there.) Today, continuing my “Best of 2015” series, I want to detail my top ten books of the year. Enjoy!

10) Room by Emma Donoghue

Publication date: 2010
Number of pages: 321
My rating: 4 stars
Reason for reading: 2015 Book Riot Read Harder Challenge

Why I loved it: The book was much, much different than I expected. It was haunting and sad, but there was something sweet and simple about reading the story through the eyes of five-year-old Jack. It unfolded in a way I wasn’t expecting, and I found myself easily falling into the story, unable to put it down until I finished. I read this to fulfill the “award winner from the last decade” category for the Book Riot Read Harder Challenge, and I’m so glad this reading challenge pushed me to finally pick it up.

9) The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown

Publication date: 2012
Number of pages: 320
My rating: 4 stars
Reason for reading: On my TBR list

Why I loved it: I think I enjoyed this book as much as I did because I listened to it on audiobook and the reader was just wonderful. She had a calming voice that really brought this sweet novel to life for me. I loved the setting, the characters, and the slowness of the plot. The novel followed the lives of this little family that lives in a picturesque college town as their three daughters reunite for the first time in years. The novel is not a page-turner, but it made just feel so happy that I had to include it on my list.

8) The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

Publication date: 2008
Number of pages: 274
My rating: 4 stars
Reason for reading: Recommended by a friend

Why I loved it: A coworker that I chat with about books recommended this novel to me since it is her favorite novel. I had never even heard of the title before (where have I been?!), but I trusted her rec and finally downloaded the novel onto my Kindle in December. The story was a little slow to start off with, especially because it’s written in epistolary format and that usually takes me a while to adjust to, but once I delved deeper into the novel, I was enraptured. The characters were funny and fun and authentic, and the novel just felt fresh and new and different. I always love reading stories about WWII and this one chose a really unique backdrop, which I appreciated.

7) The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin

Publication date: 2014
Number of pages: 272
My rating: 5 stars
Reason for reading: For book club

Why I loved it: There is something so sweet about reading a book about books, and this one was no different. Our entire book club loved the novel (this rarely happens), and it’s one I ended up recommending to the bookworms in my life all throughout the year. I was thoroughly charmed by this novel, from beginning to end.

6) Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Publication date: 2013
Number of pages: 477
My rating: 4 stars
Reason for reading: 2015 Book Riot Read Harder Challenge

Why I loved it: This book was heavy and dense at times, but I felt like I learned so much from it. One of my biggest takeaways was learning the difference between African-Americans and African immigrants to America – there really is such a cultural gap between the two, something I had never taken the time to think about before. I love it when a book makes me think! It’s a long book; it’s not a quick read by any means (it took me two weeks to finish). But I found it to be such an important read, and I feel better for having done so.

5) Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty

Publication date: 2014
Number of pages: 460
My rating: 5 stars
Reason for reading: Recommended by a friend

Why I loved it: This book was just plain fun, but it was also a book that carried incredible meaning and power. It is not your average chick-lit novel by any means. But it also is chick-lit so there’s a lighthearted attitude to the book, even as it dealt with heavy topics that were very close to my heart. It’s a long book, but I found myself happy to take my time with it because I never wanted my time with the characters to end.

4) Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

Publication date: 2014
Number of pages: 292
My rating: 5 stars
Reason for reading: On my TBR list

Why I loved it: There was something so poignant about this novel. It was sad and heavy and hard to read at times, but I also couldn’t put it down for anything. It’s really a study into how race and culture affect family and parenthood. It’s about how the weight of others’ expectations can either drag us down or lift us up. The beginning of the novel reveals that the revered daughter of a well-to-do family is dead, but we don’t know how and we don’t know why. Throughout the novel, bits and pieces of this girl’s life, and the lives of her parents and siblings, are revealed.

3) In the Blood by Lisa Unger

Publication date: 2014
Number of pages: 416
My rating: 5 stars
Reason for reading: For book club

Why I loved it: Ooh, this book was so damn good! It’s hard to talk about the novel without revealing specific clues about the novel, so suffice it to say that this book had so many twists and turns that I was kept guessing right up until the end. It’s a psychological thriller that had me on the edge of my seat, with a narrator I didn’t quite like but didn’t quite hate and a plot that didn’t stop moving. This is a must-read for those who love a good thriller novel!

2) Pointe by Brandy Colbert

Publication date: 2014
Number of pages: 352
My rating: 5 stars
Reason for reading: On my TBR list

Why I loved it: This book was beautifully written and the actual plot was completely different from what I was expecting. For one thing, this is not a book about ballet, even though the title and cover may fool you. It’s a book that has a much deeper and darker meaning, and that is what makes it one of the best books I’ve read this year. There is such an important message to the book, and Colbert really gets this message across in a powerful way.

1) The Martian by Andy Weir

Publication date: 2011
Number of pages: 369
My rating: 5 stars
Reason for reading: 2015 Book Riot Read Harder Challenge

Why I loved it: Ugh, this book. It’s right up there with Me Before You and A Thousand Splendid Suns as one of my all-time favorite reads. And it’s science fiction! I don’t read science fiction! But damn if this book didn’t grip me from the beginning with a main character that was so well-written that I cannot believe he is not a real person. The voice of this novel is so unique that I had a book hangover for a month after I finished the novel. I just wanted all of my novels to have this same voice, but it’s very hard to do so. I’m already planning on rereading this novel.

What was the best book you read in 2015?

Categories: Best Of

Best of 2015 | Blog Posts

By the end of 2015, I will have written 133 blog posts. One hundred and thirty-three times this year, I sat down and poured my heart out to this little blog. Some of my posts were silly updates about my life, things that don’t seem to mean much but still mean a lot to me. Some of the posts were vulnerable and gritty and hard to push publish on. I wrote the post I never dreamed I would have to write, saying goodbye to the most special woman in my life. I wrote honestly about dating, even though that’s a subject I hate to talk about. I spent two weeks reliving a fantastic vacation, another week writing about my day-to-day life, and yet another week detailing the bests of my 2015.

This blog is such a piece of me, but it’s not my brand. It’s not who I am. I will never make money off my blog, and I am fine with that. I won’t litter up my sidebar with ads or my posts with affiliate links. That’s not me and that’s not why I blog. It’s okay if it is for you, but I long for the days when blogging was less about Pinterest graphics and brands and more about honesty and vulnerability.

It’s an age-old refrain, I know. The good news is, there are still many of us personal bloggers out there. Bloggers who are pouring their hearts out and giving us a glimpse inside their lives. My blog has always been a vulnerable place, which is why I keep rather quiet about it to people I know IRL. Blogging for me has always been about opening my heart and allowing others to see the triumphs and the struggles.

I hope to continue that throughout 2016 and for however long I plan to blog. (I have no intention of stopping at any point in time.)

So, that’s a super long introduction to my next “Best of 2015” post, which is about some of my favorite blog posts I’ve written this year. Enjoy!

1. My favorite post was Life Lessons from My Grandma.
“My grandma taught me a lot – about life, about love, about what it means to be a good person. She was one of the best humans on this earth. She was giving, kind, compassionate. Even when she was at her sickest, she never faltered in her positivity and tenacious spirit. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today if it wasn’t for my grandma.”

2. My most popular post was I’m 27 and Scared to Move Out.
“In many ways, I feel incredibly silly for being 27 years old and having so many fears about moving to my own apartment. I am well past the stage of life where it’s deemed acceptable to be living with your parents.”

3. My most helpful post was… My Favorite Podcasts.
“As I’ve mentioned before, I am a voracious listener of podcasts. I started listening around February or March of last year, and it’s an obsession. Currently, I have 26 shows that I am subscribed to and I can only see that list growing and growing. I wanted to take the time to recommend some of my favorites to you guys, just in case you a) want to start listening to more podcasts but aren’t sure where to begin, or b) are as obsessive about podcasts as me and want more shows to add to your feed.”

4. A post whose success surprised me was The Guilt of Contentment.
“And even though I’m happy and I feel fulfilled and content… there is guilt. There is worry that if I stay content and happy in my singleness, then I’ll grow comfortable and complacent and not ever try to move on to the next season of my life. That I’m wasting my most precious years, holding tight to my singleness.”

5. A post I feel didn’t get the attention it deserved was… What’s the Point of Healthy Living?
“The crux of a healthy living journey begins when we start taking a good, long, hard look at ourselves and discover that the way we treat ourselves, the way we talk about ourselves, and the way we believe our worth has more to do with the number on the scale than who we are inside is where it all begins.”

6. My most beautiful post was… For My Grandma.
“I process my emotions best through writing, so I wrote the below poem that I tearfully read at her funeral yesterday. On Friday before she passed, as we all gathered in her hospital room, my grandpa asked if we could talk about the qualities Grandma had that we loved best. I took the qualities listed, along with other qualities, to write this poem.”

7. The post I was most scared to push publish on was… The Struggle of Acceptance.
“I’m afraid of missing out. I’m afraid of not living my life by the mantra “YOLO!” I’m afraid of wasting my time, of not measuring up to my version of success, of not measuring up to other’s versions of success. I’m afraid of not being special, not being important, not being necessary. I’m afraid of dying and I’m afraid of living.”

8. The post I am most proud of was… Change, Triggers, and Finding My Way.
“But you can’t know how much you will struggle, how hard it will be, how intense the feelings will feel, until you are in it. Until you are living through the anxiety and the fear.”

Categories: Best Of

Best of 2015 | A Month-by-Month Overview

Hello, friends! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas – I know I certainly did. I celebrated the holiday with a candlelight service at a local church, a sleepover at my mom’s, and opening presents with her in the early morning. Later on in the day, my brother and his family came over to open more presents and then I helped my mom host dinner for our extended family. It was a busy day, but one that was so full of love and family.

Today, I want to continue my “Best of 2015” series by reviewing the year on a month-by-month overview. Putting this review together helped me to put this year in perspective. While I’ll never qualify 2015 as a good year due to the loss I endured, I was happy to see that the year was filled with more happy emotions than sad ones. I can only hope 2016 holds that same promise.

In January, I was conflicted.

I was in a relationship that I didn’t want to be in, but I wasn’t sure why I was resisting when he was a great guy and we had fun together. The heart knows, though. My heart knew. By the end of the month, we would break up and I would feel nothing but utter relief.

In February, I was overjoyed.

Being single again felt right and true and exactly where I needed to be. I felt like me again, after two months of feeling disconnected from myself. This, in turn, led to a lot of questioning on my end (why am I more happy single? can I ever function in a relationship?), and I’m still trying to sort these questions out. Towards the end of February, my nephew Dominic was born and oh, what a chunky little nugget he was.

In March, I was blissful.

I returned to Savannah, one of my most favorite cities, for a short weekend trip with my mom. We ran a 5k while we were there, and I was just so, so happy to be back, walking through the historic squares and along the Riverfront. Savannah is home to me.

In April, I was social.

April helped me to realize what happens when you get off the couch and start investing in people. During this month, I was a bit of a social butterfly for me. There were afternoons of apartment hunting with my now-Roomie, an afternoon spent at Downtown Disney with Emilie and her fiance, brunch book club, family game nights, and some girls’ nights out. This month, I just felt really good about the place I was at in my life.

In May, I was delighted.

May was the month of my cruise and I had such a wonderful time – even if I did end it with a sprained ankle. It was lovely to have one-on-one time with my mom, exploring and relaxing and eating. We stopped in the Bahamas, St. Thomas, Puerto Rico, and Grand Turk. There’s no better vacation for me than a cruise and a seven-day one is simply the best.

In June, I was engaged.

June was the month of wedding planning. I helped my mom with engagement pictures, wedding invitations, securing a ceremony location, designing a reception menu, and all the other decorative touches. I also helped my mom’s coworkers surprise my mom with a bridal shower, which was probably one of the best moments of my year. It was a busy month of planning and designing and imagining.

In July, I was lit up.

My mom re-married in July. The wedding was simple, but it was perfect. We had no mishaps and I somehow managed to coordinate the whole thing without losing my mind. Actually, it was really fun to be the so-called “coordinator.” It was a lot of work, but god, it was so much fun, too. I loved being in charge! Lit up – there’s no better way to describe July.

In August, I was restful.

I took a break from blogging and social media in August, and it was exactly what I needed. I slowed down my life, spent a lot of time reading and being quiet and still. A quiet pace of life is so helpful for me. It keeps me centered and sane and feeling most like myself.

In September, I was afraid.

I moved in September. I moved to a new city that felt so different from where I used to live. I moved in with a roommate and away from my mom. And it was so damn hard. It was such a huge shakeup to my life and I lived in fear for weeks following the move. There were many panic attacks, and there was an afternoon when the panic was so bad that I had to leave work. I cried a lot. Withdrew from people. And felt so much shame about my anxiety. September, oh, it was a hard month but I had no idea how much harder life was about to get.

In October, I was heartbroken.

I lost my grandma in October. Her loss was the most awful thing I’ve ever been through – the finality of death is so crushing – but if there was any way for someone so beloved to go, it was this way. She was surrounded by her family and friends, and she went peacefully and without any pain. I never expected to lose her this year and I can’t say I’ve been grieving well. (Just thinking about never seeing her again is so crushing that I just… don’t.) I spent a lot of time with my mom this month, being there for her and trying to help in any way I can. I’m still not sure how to move through this life without Grandma, but I’m going to try to make her proud.

In November, I was focused.

I spent the month in a haze of writing, trying to win NaNoWriMo (writing 50,000 words in one month). It’s interesting to me how some years I cannot stay focused to win NaNoWriMo and then other years, it comes so effortlessly to me. This year, it was effortless and I am so proud of myself for putting in the work.

In December, I was settled.

December was the month when I finally felt like Tampa and my new life here fit. I began to establish my own routines and figure out what I wanted my life to look like. I spent a lot of this month doing a lot of soul-searching as I reflected on the past year and made plans for what I want to achieve in the upcoming one. I felt more at ease, less fearful, happier. It’s a wonderful note to end the year on, if I do say so myself.

What are some of the emotions you experienced in 2015?

Categories: Best Of

Best of 2015 | An End-of-Year Survey

It was nearly a year ago when Kathleen posted this end-of-year survey on her blog and I loved it so much that I favorited it and prayed I would remember to go back to it at the end of 2015. And here we are! I love wrapping up the year with a bunch of “Best of…” posts, and I am sure this survey will be a regular sighting from here on out. It was really fun to look back on my year in answering these questions. I’d love to see other people complete this on their blogs, so steal away! (I’ve changed some of the questions because they didn’t apply to my life. Just FYI.)

1) What did you do in 2015 that you’ve never done before?

Went on vacation with a boy. Ran a 5k in a different state. Drove a motorboat. Moved out to my own apartment. Rented a car for a weekend.

2) Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I made seven resolutions and ended up completing three of them. Not fabulous, but I’m happy with that progress. I will definitely make resolutions for 2016 and cannot wait to share them on the blog soon!

3) Did anyone close to you give birth?

My sister-in-law did! My second nephew was born February 21. 🙂

4) Did anyone close to you die?

My grandma did. It was shocking, horrific, and terrible. But she’s pain-free for the first time in 8 years, surfing the clouds in Heaven and having a grand old time.

5) What places did you visit?

I did a good amount of traveling this year! I visited St. Augustine, Savannah, the Bahamas, Grand Turk, Puerto Rico, and St. Thomas. (Of course, those last four occurred on one cruise, alas!)

6) What would you like to have in 2016 that you didn’t have in 2015?

A partner who makes me feel good. A completed novel. Emergency savings. A smaller size in clothes.

7) What dates from 2015 will be etched on your memory, and why?

February 21 – the day my nephew was born
July 11 – the day my mom remarried
October 9 – the day we lost grandma

8) What was your biggest achievement this year?

Moving to my own place! I was more than ready for this change and I feel better about myself and my life for finally taking the plunge.

9) What was your biggest failure?

Probably not losing weight. My biggest failure every year. I’m getting tired of it.

10) Did you suffer from illness or injury?

I sprained my ankle while on vacation, which was painful and annoying. And dealt with constant congestion since I moved to Tampa in September. (Am I allergic to Tampa?!)

11) What was the best thing you bought?

It’s a toss-up between my TV or my phone. Both have brought me great joy this year.

12) Where did most of your money go?

Probably all the move-in fees I had to pay for my new apartment. And all the new stuff I bought for said new apartment.

13) What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The cruise I took in May! And moving out, though while I anticipated the move, I had a hard time adjusting to the realness of being in a new place.

14) What song will always remind you of 2015?

I don’t listen to music all that much, but probably “I Can Only Imagine” by MercyMe because this is the song we played at my grandma’s funeral. I bawled during the whole song – how could you not? – and this song has so much more meaning to me now.

On a lighter note, I also fell in love with “Here” by Alessia Cara, which is a song that I can’t not sing along to.

15) Compared to this time last year, are you a) happier or sadder, b) thinner or fatter, c) richer or poorer?

I was happier because I was in a new relationship that was exciting, but burned out quickly after the new year. So that’s a tough one to compare to.

I was a wee bit thinner, but not by much.

I was poorer. Woo for having a little bit mo’ money this year.

16) What do you wish you’d done more of?

Saving money. Writing fiction. Therapy.

17) What do you wish you’d done less of?

Spending money. Watching TV. Worrying. Eating?

18) How did you spend Christmas?

I will spend it at home with my family! My mom and I will open presents early in the morning, and then my brother and his family will come over for more present unwrapping. And then my whole extended family will come over for Christmas dinner later in the afternoon. A full day indeed!

19) What was your favorite TV program?

Probably Big Brother. And maybe How to Get Away with Murder – love that show!

20) What was the best book you read?

The Martian by Andy Weir.

21) What was your greatest food discovery?

I’m not exactly sure. I’m not a huge foodie, so I tend to stick to my boring favorites. The only thing that comes to mind is how much I love pepper jack string cheese, so I guess that shows you how adventurous I am when it comes to food.

24) What did you want and get?

My biggest goal for 2015 was to move to a place of my own, which is something I did and I am so glad I marked that task off my list.

25) What did you want and not get?

Romance, a completed novel, financial freedom, more vacations.

26) What was your favorite film of 2015?

I didn’t see too many movies in 2015, but I think the one that had the biggest impact on me was American Sniper. What a movie that was.

27) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 28 on my birthday this year, and I celebrated with dinner at my favorite steakhouse with my mom, my brother, and my nephew. Afterward, we went to my mom’s new apartment to have cake and ice cream.

28) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I think I would be a little more satisfied with this year if I had lost the weight I wanted to lose. Or maybe if I didn’t feel so financially insecure.

29) How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2015?

Comfortable? I’m still trying to figure out my personal fashion concept honestly.

30) What kept you sane?

My mom.

31) Who did you miss?

My grandma. I really, really miss my grandma.

There were also moments after I moved out that I missed my mom a ton. Living with her was honestly the best experience, and there’s a lot of sadness at closing that chapter in my life.

32) Who was the best new person you met?

I don’t know! I met some new people – coworkers, friends of friends, etc. – but nobody sticks out in my mind on having a significant impact on my world in 2015. I need to get out more!

33) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.

I learned that in a time of need, my family bands together fiercely. We may be dysfunctional, but we come together when it counts. As terrible as my grandma’s last days were, I’ll carry fond memories of going out to lunch with my big family during that week, reminiscing and chatting and laughing and remembering that what Grandma would want most was all of us enjoying each other’s company.

Other than that, I also learned to respect my anxiety triggers and not beat myself up for them. Anxiety is a liar that says you are the only one experiencing the bad shit you’re going through. It told me that I was a baby for having trouble living on my own, but that’s not true at all because here I am three months later and I love my new life and my new home. I just needed more time than the “normal” person to get used to the change.

34) Show us one of your favorite photos from the year.

This one is easy. The below photo is of my grandparents, my mom, and my stepdad on my mom and stepdad’s wedding day. This ended up being the last event my grandma went to, though none of us had any clue it would be. Grandma had just finished a chemo treatment right before the wedding and she was weak, but she powered through. She even came to lunch afterward and stayed for a long time. I know she couldn’t have been feeling great, but she handled it with nary a complaint. That’s just the epitome of Grandma.

What did you do in 2015 that you’ve never done before? What was your biggest achievement this year?