I’m turning 30 in six months.
It’s one of those frightening milestone birthdays that makes a person question their life, their choices, where they’re going.
I don’t feel fear about turning 30. My brother turned 30 last year, and he didn’t really want to talk about getting older. He’s married with two kids, yet turning 30 was a frightening proposition for him.
I’m single, have yet to have a serious boyfriend in my life, and my “kid” is my 15-year-old dachshund. But I’m not scared about turning 30. I’m not fearful about getting older.
For the most part, I love my life. I love my job, my friends, my family. I love my dog, my blog, my hobbies. I’m dating and meeting new people and hoping that someday soon, I’ll go on that first date that blows every other first date out of the water. It will happen, I just have to trust the process.
But there’s a part of my life where I am incredibly unhappy and that’s my weight. I’m going to opt for brutal honesty here because that’s what this blog is all about: at present, I’m about 50 lbs overweight.
It’s horrifying to say that, to recognize how much weight I have put on since college. But it’s the truth of the matter and pretending that I don’t have a substantial amount of weight to lose isn’t helping me.
I haven’t been doing much to lose this weight. I joined a gym, I try to eat healthy during the week, and I’ve cut fast food out of my diet (for the most part), but I haven’t really put forth an effort to lose weight and it shows.
The majority of my twenties have been spent hating my body and not treating it well. I’ve hidden myself in pictures, content for selfies over full-body shots. I try not to look at myself in the mirror if I can help it, and have developed a wardrobe that’s filled with a lot of black – because black hides the fat.
I don’t want my thirties to be like this. I don’t want to spend this next decade hating my body and fighting with my weight. I want to be happy with my reflection, and that starts with weight loss.
Look, I want to be all “rah, rah, body positivity” because that’s a thing now, but that’s not me. I’ve tried it. But the truth is, I’m not happy at this weight, I’m not healthy at this weight, and if I don’t take control now, I’m going to run into major health issues in the next decade or so.
I don’t want to feel embarrassed when I step on a scale at a doctor’s office. I don’t want to have to worry that if I wear a certain dress, I’ll be asked when my “baby is due.” I don’t want to feel shame when I look at full-body photos of myself.
And I know how I feel when I’m losing weight. When I’m exercising at a higher intensity multiple times a week. When I cook good food for myself and stay away from soda and sugar. When I drink lots of water and reach for healthy snacks.
I feel proud, empowered, excited, thrilled. I feel in control. I feel like the way I am supposed to feel.
So, where does all of this fit in with turning 30, you may ask? That’s where my 30×30 challenge comes in.
I am challenging myself to lose 30 lbs by my 30th birthday.
I am planning to have a fun party to celebrate my birthday, and I want to feel damn good at this party. And I know if I show up 30 lbs slimmer, I will.
And look, I know weight loss can be a touchy subject and it could be the worst thing in the world to base my happiness on whether or not I’m able to lose 30 lbs over the next six months… but I also know that it can’t hurt to try.
I’ll be journaling my progress over the next six months, doing a monthly check-in on how I’m doing and where I’m at in my weight loss. Losing 30 lbs in six months equals out to five lbs a month, which can be a tall order, but I’m ready for it. I am so ready for it.
Basically, I’m at a crossroads here and I can either work my hardest to lose weight and feel good about myself again, or continue on this path and watch the weight continue to creep up.
I’m opting for the full-throttle mission. Not because of a desire to be skinny, but because of a desire to be happy with myself.
I don’t think there’s a better 30th birthday present I could give to myself.
That’s an ambitious goal! Good luck, I’ll be pulling for you! I’m just trying to get in better habits; I can’t seem to stop eating even when I’m not hungry. Even healthy food isn’t healthy when you eat gobs and gobs of it.
Getting healthier is always a good goal! I’m cheering you on from over here! (And I think we’ll both be turning 30 around the same time.) While you’re watching your scale, keep in mind that the number might not be everything because of muscle gain. That’s something I’ve had to keep in mind when I don’t see the number decreasing even though I feel better and stronger. Looking forward to following along your journey!
This is ambitious but also wonderful. Should we be weight loss buddies? I want to try to lost 20 lbs., at least, by my wedding… I’d love someone to help hold me accountable!
Great job on this goal and it’s totally doable! My hubby started working out last summer, after years of abusing his body, and he’s since lost a net of 35 pounds (I say net because he put on about 15 pounds of muscle weight so in reality, he probably lost 50 pounds of fat). It’s ok to base your happiness on your physical fitness. It’s hard to feel happy when you’re physically out of shape. There’s no way around your physical health, no matter how much the body positive movement tries to convince us otherwise. Best of luck! There are so many people that do this every day so it’s a reality – not a dream.
Right there with you! The body positivity stuff is great! But I’ve learned it only works for people who are confident in their looks… and that’s not me. I’ve also re-committed to getting healthy again. I started to clean up my eating this week. Hate feeling embarrassed on the scale at the doctor, hate how I look in pictures, etc. Let’s do this!
Wishing you the best of luck with this goal – I know you can do it if you really put your mind to it. I also know losing weight has become soooo much harder as I’ve gotten older. Thinking of you and wishing you luck!!
I never had any major weight issues (luckily!), so I won’t even pretend to understand what you’re up against, but what I love abou this post is that you’re being honest with yourself and that you want to be healthy and happy. Positive body image is all fine and dandy, but it can’t be an excuse to be your best self… and you said that you aren’t happy at your weight, so the only right thing to do is to change something.
I’ll be over here rooting for you, Stephany! You can do it!
Good luck lady! I am wishing you the best of luck. It is possible to do this, it just requires some serious discipline and lots of saying no to yourself. I hope you have lots of success!