During NaBloPoMo in November, I asked you guys to send me questions to answer. Annnd… I answered just a handful of questions and promptly forget to answer the rest. My bad! Today, I’m answering the questions that Engie submitted to my form.
Which cat is your favorite?
I refuse to answer this question! Both cats are my favorites for very different reasons. Eloise is my Velcro Kitty who never leaves my side, sleeps in between my legs (or on top of me) at night, and will let me pick her up and kiss her face. She’s also much easier to get into a carrier! But damn, sometimes I’m like, “Girl, can you not sit right in front of my keyboard all day long? Can I have some SPACE?!” (But then when she does give me space, I miss her.)
I feel so honored to be chosen by Lila. She does not give her love easily or freely (it’s only in the last few months that she’s even allowed my mom to pet her). She does not let me pick her up and is a straight-up menace to get into a carrier. But when she wants to give me love, oh boy, is it the absolute sweetest thing in the world. I will literally drop everything I’m doing when she jumps up on the couch and shows me her belly or head-butts my hand when I’m trying to work.
They are both my favorites because they are two very different cats with their own personalities, and I am obsessively in love with them.
Are you going to stay in Florida (after the hurricanes, election, etc.)?
I have no plans to leave Florida. It’s not exactly easy to uproot one’s entire life and move to an entirely different state, and I have no desire to do so. My family is here, my friends are here, my community is here. I love Florida, even though our politics suck (I am grateful to live in a blue area of a red state, though!). And while last year’s hurricane season was a difficult one, it was the first time in the 37 years I’ve lived in Florida that we’ve really had to contend with hurricane damage and loss. And even though my car flooded and I had to go through the rigamarole of the insurance process, it wasn’t nearly as terrible as the loss other people are experiencing. Will my tune change if our hurricane seasons get worse? For sure. But for now, I’m staying put in Florida.
What are you looking for in a life partner?
I want someone who is kind and will go out of their way to treat people well. I want someone who will do little things to make my life better, whether that’s picking up a treat for me because they know I’ll love it or making a call that I don’t want to make. I want someone who is liberal and happy to discuss politics with me. I want someone who is ambitious in whatever way that looks like for them, whether that’s ambitious with their career or their personal goals or their relationships. I want someone who has hobbies and invests time in the things they like to do. They don’t have to be a reader, but that would be a bonus. I want someone who feels like home, who pushes me to be better, and who is willing to have deep conversations about personality types.
What’s a dealbreaker in your dating life?
Trump supporters. Republicans in general. Smokers. People with kids. People who are allergic to cats. Apolitical people.
I have more than a few, it seems.
What book do you recommend to non-readers to get them to like reading?
Hmm, this is hard. Can I tell you something? I don’t believe that everyone needs to be a reader. While it’s my favorite hobby, I’m A-OK with people finding other ways to fill their time. However, I do think that, many times, people who think they don’t like reading just haven’t found the right book. And for those people who may want to dip their toes into the reading waters, I might recommend:
- A great romance that’s not too spicy and has some depth, like one of Taylor Jenkins Reid’s earlier novels (I’m partial to One True Loves personally)
- A propulsive thriller they can’t put down, like maybe one of TJ Newman’s books (her debut, Falling, is excellent) or Wrong Place, Wrong Time by Gillian McAllister
- A fascinating memoir like Between Two Kingdoms by Suleika Jaouad or The Sound of Gravel by Ruth Wariner
- Or maybe I’d just shove Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi in their hands since it’s one of my all-time favorite books
What’s your go-to book recommendation? If you have burning questions for me, fill out my form!
Great questions & even better answers! The thing about leaving FL is that you can find the same disadvantages everywhere else. Sure you get the brunt of the hurricanes but you don’t have earthquakes and winter storms. Politics that you don’t agree with is an everywhere thing. On the flip side, you’ve got awesome weather (yeah sometimes too much of a good thing with the heat), lots of gorgeous beaches, and no state income tax.
It’s a huge responsibility to pick a book for a non-reader. TJR and a surefire thriller are both great choices!
Yeah, that’s the way I feel about leaving Florida. The hurricanes suck and the politics are even worse, but bad weather is everywhere these days with the way climate change is going and hey, at least since we have a Republican governor, we’ll get federal aid for disasters more easily?!?! That’s my dark humor for the day.
Hmmm…. Harry Potter? I can’t imagine anyone NOT liking those books, plus if you haven’t read them I feel like you’re missing a lot of popular references.
Birchie is right- there are problems everywhere. Although I will say you’re lucky you live in a blue area of the state. My county used to be blue, but not anymore. I can feel the shift and I don’t like it. About the hurricanes- they go in cycles, so you could very well go for 37 more years without one. I mean… hopefully.
Yeah, sadly it’s a blue county surrounded by a sea of red counties so things are not all too pretty in Florida. I really want to see what can be done to turn our state purple again at least. It feels like an impossible task but I have to try…
Loving this Q&A! Such great questions and thoughtful answers.
Now I am trying to think about which books to recommend to people who aren’t already readers. That’s so hard! I think you made excellent choices.
Coming up with books for nonreaders is a tall task! I would really have to know the person so I’m recommending the right kind of book.
I think it’s hard to suggest books to people who aren’t readers because I would have to know *why* they aren’t reading, right?
Yes, so true! And I think it would help to know what other hobbies they have or the type of media they DO like to consume (reality TV, classic sitcoms, funny podcasts?). It’s hard to give a blanket book suggestion to people!
I second Suleika’s book!! I am yet to read Homegijng but Transcendent Kingdom was great, too.
I would probably recommend A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara, or Middlesex by Geoffrey Eugenides… I don’t know! :))
I have yet to read A Little Life. I think it would be too emotional for me and it’s soooo long, ha.
I would never be able to choose a favourite dog! I love both Barkley and Rexie so much, and they are pretty different personality wise. I mean, Barkley’s dead so I guess Rex is my favourite living dog.
Moving provinces was SO stressful, I would imagine it would be as stressful or more so in the States. Whew, I had to just take a big deep breath thinking about it. It’s not cold here like in Calgary but there are often wildfires in the summer, so it’s always something, you know? Hurricanes are awful though but it’s so important for you to be around your mom, I know.
I find it stressful just to move to a different apartment in the same city I live in! Moving to a brand-new state might push me over the edge, lol. I hope I don’t have to do that anytime soon at least!
I think the pros of you living in FL are much more than the cons and therefore moving seems like a bad idea. Even if you were not in a blue area, I think having your tribe is priceless. Having to start over to build a community in a new place is hard and I think it also makes sense politically for you to stay in FL to negate the other votes 🙂
Yes! If all of the Dems move out of Florida, it’s only going to turn MORE red and horrible. At least we can try to enact some change here by staying. That’s my hope at least.
What’s your go-to book recommendation? If I’m talking with a serious reader I’ll suggest Bel Canto or Less. But for someone who is wishy-washy about reading books, I’ll suggest Who Ate The First Oyster [nonfiction] or Bookish People [fiction].
I need to check out some of these books – I’ve never even heard of Who Ate the First Oyster. What a great title!
You answered my questions! LOL. I totally forgot I asked which cat was your favorite. That was mean!
I have go-to book recommendations based on age and sex. Young male non-readers get recommended Ready Player One or Ender’s Game. Young female non-readers get recommended Black Beauty or Sarah Dessen. Love Lettering and Perfect are romance novel suggestions. And of course, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn is a universal suggestion. It gets harder for me after this – what’s the next step?
If my partner was a non-reader I think that would be a dealbreaker for me, to be honest.
Can we talk about partners with kids as a dealbreaker? I have to admit that it was for me, too. I dated someone before grad school who had two kids. He was a good dad and would always ditch me for “emergencies” that came up with his kids. That’s what he *should* have done and I’m not blaming him (although I have some bitterness at his ex who decided a papercut would be an emergency, but I DIGRESS), but I realized that I wanted to be in a relationship with someone who would make me the number one priority. I sort of hated what this said about me (I’m so selfish!), but it was a lesson learned for me and I never dated anyone with kids again. ANYWAY. I just think it’s an interesting thing to admit.
I’m actually surprised by the number of people who think it’s brave for me to admit that I don’t want to date someone with kids. I have to believe this is a gender thing because I don’t think people feel the same way about men who don’t want to date a partner with kid. I have just seen how difficult it is to be a stepparent and deal with the other parent in the equation and I want no part of that. Plus, I don’t feel any strong pull toward motherhood. Soo… eh.
Having to date a reader would seriously limit my dating pool, sadly. So many nonreaders out there!
When Phil and I met, I was a republican and he was a dem. That was 2012 so being a rep meant something very different. I changed parties when Trump rose to power and can’t imagine going back. In 2016 Phil and I talked about how we weren’t sure our relationship would survive one of us supporting Trump… it just means so much more than belonging to diff parties in 2012!!!
As far as books, one of m go to recommendations is ‘City of Thieves’. It’s WWII historical fiction set in Russia which makes it a bit different. It is so stressful to recommend books because I worry they won’t like it and will blame me!!!
I was just talking about this with my mom! (She switched to independent after Trump rose to power, from Republican.) It just means something completely different to be a Republican today than it did even 8 years ago. I just cannot get behind anyone who chooses to support such a vile human being.
Do you remember Postal Book Club from wayyy back in the day? I believe your book was City of Thieves so I read it when the book came around to me! I loved it – such a great rec!
I can’t believe Engie asked you if you had a favorite cat LOL
The dealbreaker “people with kids” sounds harsh, but I totally get it. I have so many friends who are step-parents to their partners” kids and it so, so hard. Everybody tells me that. So I don’t blame you at all for admitting that this would a dealbreaker.
It’s funny – I truly didn’t realize that opinion would be taken harshly! I think we have to be super honest about what we want from our relationships and kids are a HUGE deal. It’s hard being a stepparent, and that’s just not something I want at this point in my life.
I love you answer for a life partner. I am sure your person is out there and I hope your paths cross.
How fun that your cats have such different personalities. Truly special.
I can not answer the book questions… This requires thinking and I am too lazy right now.
Thank you, friend. I hope my person is out there!
My cats are truly SO different and it’s just so fun.
I love your idea of ambition in someone and that it does not have to be at work, which is what people almost automatically assume. I work hard at my job but it’s like… not the thing I am most ambitious about in life.
Can you imagine having a cat allergy?! OMG
Yesss – there are so many ways to be ambitious and it doesn’t ALWAYS have to do with a career. I just want someone with goals, no matter what that may look like.
I don’t want to imagine having a cat allergy – that would be so sad!