Happy Saturday, friends! And welcome to the first round of questions in Ask Stephany Anything. You can still ask me your burning questions – either comment on this post with your questions or fill out my Google form. For today, I picked out five questions to answer, so let’s dive in:
From Elisabeth: I’m curious if you always had pets growing up. I feel like you’ve probably mentioned this, but I can’t remember.
I did always have pets growing up! When I was in early elementary school, we had a bird named Rachel and also two hamsters. I named my hamster Shadow and he was the sweetest little bebe. I can’t remember what my brother’s hamster was named, but he was a little shit. Every time we tried to take him out of the cage, he would bite us and run away.
When I was in fourth grade, my parents surprised my brother and me with a dog! They kept the whole process a secret from us and then, one afternoon, picked us up early from school to drive to the SPCA to pick her up. WE WERE SHOCKED! She was a beagle-terrier mix named Minnie and I loved her with my whole heart and soul. She died at age 10 from cancer, but she was the best girl ever.
Also from Elisabeth: What is your absolute DREAM job (the sky is the limit – you would, in this universe, have all the skills needed to complete said job so if your answer was “be a famous rock singer”, you’d be able to sing/play an instrument already sort of thing).
My dream job has not changed since I was a kid: I would love to be an author. Specifically, I want to write romance novels. It’s been something I’ve wanted to do my whole life but it is really hard to write a novel and most authors don’t make a full-time living from writing. Plus, there’s the whole marketing side of being an author, which feels very overwhelming to think about. But still, if the sky is the limit and I have all of the skills and time and passion to make it happen, I would be a successful romance novelist.
From Lisa: if you could live anywhere in the US, where would you live? Does your answer change for when you are retired?
The only other place I could see myself moving to would be North Carolina (Charlotte or Asheville, specifically). I think the weather there would really suit me, and the pace of life would be similar to what I have in Florida. Mainly, I just want to be able to experience all four seasons without dealing with the drudgery of winter for too long. However, I don’t think I would ever move from where I live right now because this is where my family and friends are, and having that community is extremely important to me. I also live in a very progressive area of Florida, and that matters greatly to me.
Florida tends to be the place where people retire, so I can’t see myself leaving the state for retirement. The real question is what Florida will look like in 30-40 years and how climate change will affect our state. Sea levels are continuing to rise, we continue to break heat records, and hurricanes continue to become more powerful. It’s hard to predict how all of this will impact our state.
From Suzanne: When I first started reading your blog, you had a dog. (Sweet Dutch. I remember him fondly.) How did you go from a dog person to a cat person? Or maybe you were always a cat-and-dog person?
Awww, thank you for remembering my sweet boy. He was the bestest.
I’ve never been anti-cat. It was just that, in my family, we had dogs. I think part of the reason is that my grandma was allergic to cats, but after she died, my cousin adopted two cats and I loved petting them when I came over to visit.
The last couple of years of Dutch’s life were really, really hard. He had to be walked at least every couple of hours because he couldn’t hold his bladder as long as he used to. This meant that someone always had to let him out at lunchtime (I worked five days a week in an office that was 30 minutes away; thankfully, my mom’s office was nearby so she often took care of this for me) and I could rarely make evening plans because I’d need to be home for Dutch’s after-work walk. Nighttime was also extremely difficult for him. He was restless and anxious, and it would take him forever to settle down to sleep. (I’m talking 2+ hours of him whining and moving around in bed.) Eventually, the vet put him on tramadol to help with his nighttime anxiety/restlessness, which definitely helped. Many times, I would come home to find Dutch had made a mess, and then walked all over the mess. So not only did I have to clean up the mess, but I’d also have to bathe him. (This was a sign of his declining cognitive health.) I was happy to take care of Dutch in the last years of his life, but it was a lot to deal with on my own.
I knew I would adopt another pet once Dutch passed because they make life so much sweeter. Even as difficult as it was to deal with Dutch dying, I didn’t regret a single minute I had with him. He made my life a billion times better. At the time, I was still working full-time in an office (with a work-from-home day allowed here and there) and didn’t see that changing anytime soon. I knew having a cat would be so much easier. For one, they are easier for us apartment-dwellers as they don’t need to be walked for every bathroom break. For another, I could leave a cat alone for far longer than I could leave a dog. Having a cat just seemed like the easier option for a single person like me.
What I didn’t expect was to fall head over heels for my girls. I expected to love them, of course, but I honestly thought I had experienced the one true love of my life in Dutch, and didn’t think I could feel that intensely for my cats. After all, aren’t cats aloof and mean? WELL. Ellie and Lila sure showed me. I love those girls with the same level of intensity I loved Dutch. And being aloof and mean? Not them! They have oodles of personality, so much love to give, and the sweetest little faces that make me grateful every day that I get to be their mom.
I am still a dog person. I love my fur-brother and -sister to death. Chip and Lucy are my babies and I would do anything for them. But now, I am also a cat person.
From San: I know you’re very close with your brother, but did you ever want to have a sister?
YES. I always wanted a sister! In fact, growing up, I would have gladly given up my brother to have a sister. (Sorry, Mark.) My brother and I did not get along at all when we were kids, and I always wished I had a sister I could hang out with when things got rough between us. I was always a little peeved that my mom didn’t try to have a third kid because wouldn’t it have been so nice to have a little sister? Sigh.
Now that I’m older and my brother and I do get along very well, I am glad I have him and also glad that I don’t have another sibling. It’s nice that it’s just the three of us and that I don’t have to share my mom with someone else. 🙂
What is your “sky-is-the-limit dream job”?
Oh I loved these answers! Your answer to my question took me back to your posts in the last days of Dutch’s life — it must have been so hard. What a wonderful caretaker you were for him. I am sure he felt loved and safe every second of his life.
You know my “sky’s the limit” job answer is the same as yours: author, all the way.
It was really special to be Dutch’s person during the last years of his life. It was so hard, but so worthwhile. <3
Oh, reading about how much you loved Dutch is so bittersweet – it’s lovely to know such love, but sad that he’s gone now. I think that Hannah will be probably be our last dog; I LOVE her so much, but cats are so much easier and inexpensive. But thinking about that makes me so sad. Maybe we will just do short-term fosters with dogs.
I’m finding this AMA super interesting and I can’t wait to read the rest of your answers!
Dogs are so much work, so I don’t blame you for wanting to stick to cats after Hannah. I had a hard time deciding if I really want to adopt a cat after Dutch died. I’ve ALWAYS been a dog person and it made me sad to think I wouldn’t have another dog in my life. But a friend reminded me that just because I have cats NOW, doesn’t mean I’ll never have a dog. Who knows what the future holds?!
Always so great to read and get to know more about the person behind the blog. About your dream job: have you completely put the author thing behind you or will you / or maybe already have started a novel anyhow?
I think I have mostly put the author dream behind me. I have started MANY novels but I just don’t have the commitment to focus on it. I would have to give up a lot to be a novelist, and there are too many other things I want to do.
Wow- these are some thoughtful questions! And answers. I was intrigued by the one about where you would live, because I’ve been asking myself that question. I didn’t grow up in Florida but have lived here over 20 years. Now we’re starting to wonder if we’ll stay here forever. There’s lots not to like about Florida (unfortunately) but I need somewhere with lots of sunshine. But then there’s the climate issue… it’s a tough one!
Florida is becoming a harder and harder place to live, between the politics and the weather. I understand wanting to move if it’s an option! I’ve never thought about if I’m a person who needs lots of sunshine, but I think it would be really hard for me to live somewhere without it since that’s what I’m used to now!
I love AMA posts – even though I read your blog for such a long time now, there are always things that don’t necessarily come up, and these random questions from readers always “draw out” more interesting facts about the person behind the blog.
I remember Dutch fondly – and also how much trouble it was to take care of him at the end. I am so glad you were able to become the crazy cat lady (I say this in the most loving way!) that you are now! While I love both dogs and cats, I think I’d always opt for a cat too, if I EVER got a pet (sigh! I want one, I really do.)
Thanks for the candid answer to my question. 🙂
That’s a good question for YOUR AMA: What’s stopping you from getting a pet? My cats have brought such joy to my life, and they really aren’t that much more work or expense. But I know having a pet isn’t for everyone!
I can’t remember what my brother’s hamster was named, but he was a little shit. – This made me laugh out loud. Especially because, as I type this comment, I’m listening to our hamster – Meatball – run like crazy on his wheel (it 10:30 pm, so he’s finally awake as everyone else is headed to bed).
My dream job? I have so many!!!
A TV travel show host
A singer on Broadway
A photographer
An artist (in the style of van Gogh)
An author
A professional organizer
Love AMA’s!
Oh gosh, you expanded on the dream job thing so much better than I did! A professional organizer would be a DREAM for sure. I love home organization so, so much.
Oh, Dutch. He sounds so sweet. I know exactly what it is to deal with a declining dog, and it is just so hard and heartbreaking. I am so glad you found the girls to help fill the fuzzy hole that he left in your life.
He was the best boy! It was so difficult saying goodbye to him, but I’m glad I have my girls now. They’re perfect!
Aww, Dutch! You took such good care of him. And isn’t it crazy how our hearts grow with a new kind of love (for your kitties)?
LOL @ not wanting to share your mom!
I love meeting Minnie!
My dream job would be to be a tour guide in cool places.
Realizing I could love my cats as much as I loved Dutch has been the biggest surprise. They are my little loves!
You would make for an AWESOME tour guide!
These were fun to read! I didn’t know your family always had pets. I didn’t really grow up with pets or not ones that live in the house! We had an outdoor cat that came inside for visits though. My mom is a clean freak so couldn’t handle indoor pets!
Interesting answer about where you would live. Climate change is so hard and sad. It will impact where we retire to. I cannot see us living in Mn 12 months of the year. I think we need to winter somewhere for my sanity. I need to be able to go outside year round ideally! And it’s hard to go outside here in the winter.
The dream job question is tough. I think a younger version of myself would have said a bookstore owner but I know that job isnt what I envisioned from listening to the bookshelf podcast and following Annie Jones’ life. I actually really like my job. I don’t know if it’s my dream job but probably as close as I can get in practical terms. I do look forward to retiring and being able to volunteer and have more time for myself!
I thought about saying bookstore owner as my answer, but I don’t think I would really like the day-to-day operations of it! It seems dreamy, but the reality is much different, I think. I’m grateful for all the people who ARE bookstore owners and let us enjoy all of their books. 🙂
Oh, what fun. I love your answers. I started thinking about my dream job and… I honestly don’t know what it would be. Not. A. Clue. While my *lifestyle* isn’t what I want, I do love (most of) my job.
But…If I could have everything I really need for said dream job, and if that could include a 100% functional body, then that could bring in the option of doing something that’s a complete 180 from what I do now, like… being a park ranger in a national park. Or, in a similar vein, being an expedition leader for outdoor adventures for women (guided hikes, or river rafting, or something like that). I’ve always dreamed of doing something that’s outside, in nature, and that would require a completely different set of skills, and involve a completely different set of daily “tasks”, than what I do now…