Best of 2023 | End-of-Year Survey

Hi, friends! I have another Best of 2023 post for you guys today—my annual end-of-year survey! I started doing this survey years ago (I wish I could credit the original author!), and I have added and removed many questions throughout the years. I love that this survey allows me to reflect on the year and also remember all of the good things that happened that I want to remember.

1) What did you do in 2023 that you’ve never done before? 

• Got LASIK
• Attended a murder mystery party
• Saw TAYLOR SWIFT in concert
• Attended a Pride parade
• Made pottery
• Fed a zebra

2) Did anyone close to you give birth?

No.

3) Did anyone close to you die?

Yes, we lost my uncle on December 12th.

4) What places did you visit?

Charleston, South Carolina in July and Gatlinburg, Tennessee in December.

5) What would you like to have in 2024 that you didn’t have in 2023?

Better sleep habits, a longer attention span, and less worrying about my mom.

6) What dates from 2023 will be etched in your memory forever?

The day my uncle died. I will never forget waking up to that text from my cousin.

I’ll also never forget the day I got LASIK!

7) What was your biggest achievement this year?

I really got a handle on my anxiety in 2023! Reading through my line-a-day journal, my entries from the end of 2022/beginning of 2023 tell a story of immense anxiety and panic attacks. All I wanted from 2023 was to feel less impacted by my anxiety disorder, and I am proud to say that’s how I feel as 2024 begins. I started seeing a psychiatrist who changed up my meds, went to regular therapy, and really committed to the work of helping myself. What helped the most? Probably medication, if I’m being honest, but talk therapy also helped me better understand my tendency to spiral.

8) What was your biggest challenge?

I struggled with inertia and laziness this year. I wasn’t able to meet some of the fitness-related goals I set for myself because I just lost the motivation to do any of them.

9) Did you suffer from illness or injury?

I was diagnosed with scalp psoriasis, which entails treating the affected areas with a topical steroid multiple times a week. I had a head cold in December. I had to get two moles removed, which entailed stitches and left the area very tender for a few weeks. And plantar fasciitis reared its ugly head.

10) What was the best thing you bought?

My big beautiful bed! I waited a long time to get a new bed, but it is just so comfortable and cozy.

11) Where did most of your money go?

Rent and food.

12) What did you get really, really excited about?

I always get excited before traveling, so I had lots of anticipation leading up to my trips to South Carolina and Tennessee. And I got excited during the holiday season, when things were going well during my relationship, and for book club adventures.

13) What authors did you discover in 2023?

Here are some of the best debut authors I read in 2023:

• Brendan Slocumb – The Violin Conspiracy and his follow-up Symphony of Secrets
• Kate Spencer – In a New York Minute
• Jessica George – Maame
• Falon Ballard – Just My Type
• TJ Newman – Falling and her follow-up Drowning
• Cat Shook – If We’re Being Honest
• Lauren McBrayer – Like a House on Fire

14) What do you wish you had done more of? 

I wish I had said yes to plans with friends more often, gone on more walks outside, played with the cats more, and saved more money.

15) What do you wish you had done less of?

Less worrying about situations that have not happened or that I have no control over. I also wish I had done less revenge bedtime procrastination.

16) How did you spend Christmas?

Well, Christmas Day was spent quite differently than usual because I spent it alone at home, getting prepared for my TN trip. But Christmas Eve was fun! I went over to my mom’s around 11 and my brother and his family came over shortly after me. We had a hearty lunch and then opened presents. I was so spoiled this year, including with a brand-new Chromebook that I’m typing this post on. Afterward, we had dessert and then my brother and his family left. I stayed because later that night, we had reservations at a fancy steakhouse so we enjoyed some seriously good food to end the day!

17) What was your favorite TV program?

So many good ones this year, but I think Jury Duty was hands-down one of the best TV experiences for me in 2023. There is no one on the planet like Ronald! What a unique concept!

18) What did you want and get?

I wanted my anxiety disorder to be more stable, and I got that.

I wanted to go on more dates and while I only ended up going on three first dates, I did have a lovely five-month relationship with a wonderful person. I’m glad I got to have that this year!

I wanted to have a better relationship with food and I definitely put in the work to get there. I started working with a dietician and have learned so much about how to fuel my body in a satisfying and nourishing way.

19) What did you want and not get?

I wanted better nighttime habits and that continued to be a struggle.

I wanted long-term romantic love and that didn’t work out for me.

I wanted to reach out to friends more and I didn’t do that.

20) What was your favorite film of 2023?

BARBIE! I saw it twice in theaters.

21) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 36 this year and I celebrated with a Day of Stephany. I slept in, met my mom for lunch, went to the bookstore and bought two books, went to Starbucks for my free birthday drink and to read my book for about an hour, got a facial, and then had dinner with my family in the evening. It was such a lovely day!

22) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If I had established a better daily routine for myself. I felt all over the place sometimes when it came to my mornings, work schedule, and my nighttime routine. I need to get into a routine that works for me this year.

23) Who kept you sane?

My psychiatrist and therapist? Ha. Mad props to them for listening to me jabber on and on for almost an entire year.

My mom also keeps me sane on a regular basis. The reason I sometimes feel insane is because I’m worrying about her so it always felt like the biggest rush of dopamine to see her face on my phone (through Facetime), healthy and happy and whole, when I’ve been panicking about something happening to her.

24) What are five things you are grateful for this year?

• Medication – What an amazing thing is it to have these tiny little pills that can change our mental health dramatically! I am so very grateful that I am able to afford medication and see a psychiatrist that cares deeply about helping me feel better.
• Coming out – I finally came out to some friends and family members this year. I’m always so worried about how my bisexuality will affect the way people look at me, but I received nothing but love and support from everyone. Not everyone gets to have that.
• New experiences – I have social anxiety, which means even the simplest social event can be super difficult for me. And it means it is tremendously difficult for me to try new things, like attending a new book club. But with a friend at my side, I went to Silent Book Club’s January meeting where I met a whole bunch of new people and got to have delightfully bookish conversation, and I ended up attending their meetings almost every month for the entire year.
• Bloglandia – The community we have all collectively built here grows even stronger each year that passes and I am so grateful for all of you. The loneliness episodes I have dealt with are often mitigated when I open up Feedly to see so many blog posts to read and interact with, or when I open up my blog to see comments to respond to. I love this community!
• My nutritionist – It has been eye-opening to work with a nutritionist who is anti-diet culture and committed to helping me eat in a way that feels satisfying. She has helped me learn a lot about how to properly fuel my body and give it the nourishment it needs without putting myself on a strict diet.

25) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023.

Trust that your people have your back. One of the scariest parts of coming out is that you don’t know how people will react. Will they be happy for you, or will it forever alter your relationship with them? I was most worried about coming out to my brother because I wasn’t sure how he would react. But every single time I came out, I was met with kindness and grace and happiness. The people in my life want me to be my truest self, and if that includes a queer identity, then let that pride flag fly high. My brother sought me out a week after I came out to him to let me know he was happy for me and there’s nothing I could say to him that would change our relationship. <3

26) What would you rate your level of happiness on a scale of 1-10 this year?

I’d probably give it a 7, which is one point better than last year! On the happiness front, this year was a pretty good one. Sure, I battled my anxiety disorder and dealt with loneliness at times, but overall, I had a good year and I felt happy and whole for the majority of it. I’m grateful I can say that!

27) If you could change one thing that happened this year, what would it be?

My uncle wouldn’t have gotten cancer and he wouldn’t have died a mere 8 months from his diagnosis. Life was so cruel to my family this year.

28) How have you changed over this past year?

I think I’ve settled more into myself this year. Every year, I seem to become more and more comfortable in my skin and this year was no different. Being able to live as my full self has been an amazing gift, one I spent a lot of time dreaming about but never believing I could actually have. And I’ve continued my journey of fat acceptance and enjoying the person I am as she looks today. I’m not shying away from pictures or full-body shots because I don’t want to see myself in that way. That’s just silly. This is what I look like! And I want to have those memories to look back on.

29) How did this year surprise you? 

I did not expect to lose my uncle this year, that’s for sure. I didn’t expect to get LASIK. I didn’t expect to be in a relationship throughout the majority of the spring and summer. There was a lot about this year that was surprising, both good and bad. But, of course, the biggest surprise was my uncle’s cancer diagnosis and death. We did not expect to lose him so soon.

30) Show us one of your favorite photos from the year.

What’s a life lesson you learned in 2023?