About Me

Categories: About Me

Thirty-Seven

It’s my birthday! And Thanksgiving! It’s birthsgiving.

Today, I’m 37 years old. A few nights ago, I was lying in bed and had to do the math. How old am I going to be? For some reason, I thought I was turning 38 so there’s a kindness that I’m only 37.

If I think back to myself as a young person—a conservative Christian who thought she was going to get married young and have lots of babies—I wonder if that younger me would be upset at the way her life has turned out. Unmarried. No babies (just four-legged ones). And no longer a Christian.

I also think about the me I am today, and who I would be if that life had turned out the way I expected it to. What if I had gotten married in my early twenties and was a mother to multiple children? Would my marriage be a healthy one? How would I feel about motherhood? Would I still be a conservative Christian and… shudder… a Republican?

I’m quickly zooming past the age where I can have children. If I got pregnant today, it would be considered a geriatric pregnancy. I don’t think I want to have kids at this stage of my life, but it’s not something that’s totally off the table. I don’t feel any tug toward motherhood, which is probably the sign that I shouldn’t have kids. I don’t think I have the energy for kids, nor do I think my little anxious heart could handle it.

Marriage, though, is still something I deeply desire. I think about having a wedding and having a person who feels like home. I think about building a life with someone else and having someone to lean on when times are hard. I want that. I hope I get to experience that someday. (I was recently watching a game show and one of the women on the show was in her 70s and talked about her husband. “How long have you been married?” the host asked. “Thirty years!” She said proudly. She got married in her 40s! It gave me hope that I, too, could find my person later in life.)

At age 36, my body started to fall apart. Okay, fine, that’s dramatic but I dealt with two new diagnoses: scalp psoriasis and severe obstructive sleep apnea.

The scalp psoriasis is finally under control, thanks to getting steroid injections in my scalp. It’s so painful but it’s so much better than the constant itching and dry skin I was dealing with. I would get injections every month to keep those symptoms at bay, if I had to. Thankfully, it appears that one treatment was all I needed. I’m also using specialized shampoo once a week and a liquid steroid multiple times a week, which keeps everything in maintenance mode.

Being diagnosed with severe obstructive sleep apnea was both terrifying and relieving. Terrifying because, hello, I stop breathing 40+ times an hour when I sleep! That’s crazy! But relieving because now I understand why I am so tired all of the time and it’s not because I’m lazy or have terrible sleep hygiene or need to stop eating so much sugar. Nope. It’s because I have a diagnosed sleep condition. It was a long road to getting on CPAP therapy (my original sleep study was in April and I didn’t get my CPAP machine until the end of August), but now that I’ve been on CPAP, my life has changed dramatically. I have energy and focus. I don’t need a nap to get through every day. My afternoon brain fog has lifted. I’m hoping I’ll also see improved blood work numbers, too, as the lack of oxygen can cause upward trends with heart disease numbers. It feels good to feel good.

This year brought a major shift to my work life when my boss announced that she was leaving the company. I was devastated to put it plainly. She has been such an amazing mentor for me and has championed my growth in the company more than anyone. She is also someone I just liked and enjoyed working for. She was smart and funny and not too corporate-y. She is someone I felt I could be honest with about my struggles, both personally and professionally. We loved ending our 1:1 meetings by chatting about what we were reading. I thought the world of her and while I was happy for her to spread her wings to do something else, I was so sad that I wouldn’t be working directly with her anymore.

I was also nervous. Who would be her replacement and would I like them? How would this change our department? Senior leadership changes like this can have drastic effects, and although our department runs like a well-oiled machine, I wasn’t sure if there would be changes implemented that I wouldn’t like.

My new boss started the last week of October and there was an almost-immediate connection. She already has some really interesting ideas for shaking things up in our department—in a good way. She’s easy to talk to and I can already tell that we’re going to have a great working relationship. I’m excited to get to know her better and hopefully make some much-needed changes to our department!

There were hard things about this year. There was Hurricane Helene that flooded my car and destroyed the homes of two of my close friends. And then Milton two weeks later that prompted an evacuation. There was my non-existent dating life (one date-from-hell and then a few dates with someone who always left me feeling disappointed, meh). My uncle died from cancer and we got a hard diagnosis for another family member. Trump was re-elected. My mental health was up and down, and there were some changes in friendship dynamics that I’m still processing.

But there were good, good things. There was a trip to New Orleans with my mom and a weekend in Chicago with Kim. There was the Popcast Live! There were incredible book club experiences (flower arranging and candle making and murder mysteries!). I joined a gym and saw so many gains in my fitness level, including using heavier weights and making it through HIIT classes without wanting to die. I got bangs again and started dyeing my hair at home (with the help of friends). I got a nose ring! I got a promotion to senior manager. I created a cute reading nook in my bedroom.

What do I want out of this next year of my life? It’s hard to know where I will be a year from now. Will I have found some success in my dating life? Maybe. Will I have lost some weight? I’d like it because I want to be off CPAP and have better blood work results. Will I be typing up this birthday post next year from a beautiful, two-bedroom apartment? I really hope so. Mostly, though, I hope I continue to be satisfied and happy with the life I have built for myself. It took hard work to get here, and I am so proud of the person I am and the life I get to live.

Categories: About Me

Morning & Evening Routines

I have very specific morning and evening routines. If I didn’t have these routines, I know I could be in bed at a more reasonable hour (and get my day started more quickly, too). But alas, I am a girl who has a multi-step skincare routine and a bunch of little “to-do’s” I like to take care of in the midst of these routines. Since I am someone who struggles with doing one thing at a time (I’m working on it), I’ve built a morning/evening routine that incorporates little substeps within each bigger step. AKA: I don’t wash my face and then swipe on toner and then do my serums, etc. I wash my face… and then I make my bed and tidy up an area of my apartment. Then, I do my toner. I don’t know why I’m like this but I find it enjoyable to mark off a bunch of little steps in the midst of my skincare regimen. Plus, it allows the different products to sit on my face for a longer period of time. Is this effective? I have no idea, but I like to believe it helps a little.

This also means my morning and evening routines take a lot longer than they normally would. My morning routine isn’t too bad (it takes me about 20 minutes on average) but my evening routine takes forever. Usually an hour to an hour and a half from start to finish, but I take lots of breaks during this routine. Usually, I’ll set a timer for 10 minutes, do as many tasks as possible, and then when it goes off, I get 10 minutes to sit at my laptop and work on blog posts/read blog posts/catch up on personal email/etc. I usually need four 10-minute sets to get through the entire routine, so yeah, it adds up!

I want to note that many nights (like maybe half the time?), I do an abbreviated version of my morning or evening routine. Usually, I just don’t have the energy at the end of the night to do the full routine. You’ll see what that abbreviated version looks like at the end of each bullet list.

Without further ado, here are my morning and evening routines! (Like I mentioned above, each big task has two subtasks beneath it. I need to complete those subtasks before moving onto the next big task. AKA, I brush my teeth, get dressed, and empty the top shelf of the dishwasher before getting started on my skincare routine. Then I wash my face, make my bed, and empty the silverware from the dishwasher before doing toner. Etc etc.)

MORNING

Brush teeth
- Get dressed
- Empty the top shelf of the dishwasher
Step 1 of skincare: Cleanser (La Roche Posay Toleriane Purifying Facial Cleanser with Niacinamide)
- Make bed
- Empty silverware from dishwasher
Step 2 of skincare: Toner (La Roche Posay Effaclar Salicylic Acid Clarifying Toner)
- Fill up water bottle
- Empty bottom shelf of dishwasher
Step 3 of skincare: Niacinamide serum (The Ordinary Niacinamide 10% with Zinc 1%)
- Take meds
- Tidy bedroom and bathroom
Step 4 of skincare: Vitamin C serum (innisfree Green Tea Enzyme Vitamin C Brightening Serum)
- Disinfect CPAP mask and dump out humidifier water
- Tidy kitchen
Step 5 of skincare: Moisturizer (CeraVe Daily Moisturizing Face Lotion)
- Do hair/makeup
- Tidy living areas

Abbreviated version: brush teeth, fill water bottle, take meds, and do CPAP duties. Mayyybe empty the dishwasher if I have the energy.

EVENING

*Anything listed with the asterisk is the same as the morning

Scoop litter boxes
- Do one chore (like cleaning the toilet, vacuuming the bedroom, or wiping down the bathroom sink)
- Tidy bedroom
Brush teeth
- Put on pajamas
- Tidy main living area
Step 1 of skincare: Cleanser*
- Fill water bottle
- Tidy dining area
Step 2 of skincare: Exfoliator (Paula’s Choice Skin Perfecting 2% BHA Liquid Exfoliant)
- Do my nightly psoriasis treatment
- Tidy dropoff zone (the ledge above my kitchen counter that is right near my front door)
Step 3 of skincare: Toner*
- Fill humidifier with distilled water and click it back into the CPAP machine
- Tidy bathroom
Step 4 of skincare: Niacinamide*
- Fill in my One Line a Day journal
- Make tomorrow’s to-do list
Step 5 of skincare: Hyaluronic acid serum (The Ordinary’s Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5 Hydrating Serum)
- Tidy left side of kitchen
- Wipe down counters
Step 6 of skincare: Glycolic acid serum (La Roche Posay Dark Spot Corrector Glycolic B5 Face/Anti-Aging Serum)
- Tidy right side of kitchen
- Wipe down counters
Step 7 of skincare: Moisturizer*
- Put away any lingering cat bowls/fill up their water bowl
- Start dishwasher

Abbreviated version: Brush teeth, swipe face with a makeup wipe, fill up water bottle, and make sure any dirty dishes are, at the very least, inside the dishwasher (even if I don’t start it that night).

Do you have ridiculous morning/evening routines or are you normal?

Categories: About Me

Five Senses

It’s Saturday morning and I’m sitting next to Mikaela at Starbucks as we both tap away on our laptops. Every so often, we stop to chit-chat but mostly, we’re focused on our work. I thought I’d do something easy today: a “five senses” post. There’s a lot more happening here than it would be at my house!

See: I see so much! My laptop screen, the people hanging out in Starbucks waiting for their drinks, the baristas bustling around the cafe, my crumpled-up breakfast sandwich bag, my sunglasses, my red Starbucks cup next to my laptop.

Taste: I’m drinking a delicious peppermint mocha! The drink has cooled down a lot as I’ve been at Starbucks for about an hour now. But it’s still delicious!

Touch: I’m touching my laptop keys and my wireless mouse.

Hear: I can hear the conversations happening around me, loud coffee machines making noise, and the pop music playing on the speakers.

Smell: Coffee, of course!

What do you currently hear?

Categories: About Me

Ask Stephany Anything | Part 1

Happy Friday, friends. I’m kicking off another round of Ask Stephany Anything today with questions that people have asked from my form. (If you have questions for me, fill it out! I’m an open book.) Since I’m dedicated to keeping my posts short and sweet this month (when possible), I’m just going to answer the questions San asked me, since I got a bit wordy! These were great questions, San, and I loved answering them.

First and foremost: How are you? Especially now that the election results have fully sunk it?

I am doing okay. I have decided that social media is not going to be where I get my news so I have unfollowed many news sources and muted people who seem to only share political posts these days. I want to be able to go on Instagram to be entertained and my algorithm is very much geared toward cat videos, dachshund videos, funny meme accounts, and comedians. That’s exactly what I want. (I don’t really believe that sharing political things on my Instagram is going to move the needle, considering those who agree with me are already watching my Stories and those that don’t have either unfollowed or muted me.) I will listen to Pod Save America and read their nightly newsletter to stay up on the news, but I may also take breaks from it from time to time. My friend also clued me in to this news source (unfortunately, she’s only on Facebook, ugh), who shares long detailed recaps of what happened the previous day and I plan to read through her recaps once a week.

The fight for democracy is going to be a long, hard one. There is not much we can do now, but I hope to find local organizations that I can give my time and money to.

Do you feel a noticeable difference in your energy levels now that you are using the CPAP?

Oh, for sure! I mentioned in the post I wrote a week after I’d been using CPAP therapy that I had already noticed a difference in my energy levels and that continues to be true. I don’t think I realized how exhausted I really was before starting CPAP. I truly could not get through the day without needing a nap and I felt so terrible about that. I felt like I was lazy and unmotivated and maybe even depressed? Some of those depression symptoms were likely just due to my lack of sleep, not a chemical imbalance. My blood oxygen percentage is also improving (usually staying steady around 95%, which is so close to normal! Before CPAP, I was regularly seeing blood oxygen levels around 90% and sometimes even below that.) Things are for sure on the upswing.

What’s your go-to breakfast right now?

I switch between a bowl of apple and cinnamon oatmeal (the instant kind, from Quaker) and two fried eggs on toast. Easy, simple, and delicious!

What do you like most about your new workout routine?

I like the feeling of pushing myself and working hard. It can be really easy to let myself off the hook when I’m doing a workout at home (for example, I was only using 5-lb weights anytime I did a strength video and now I don’t select anything under 10 lbs at the gym!). I like that I can come to class and the workout is ready for me, but that there’s also a community aspect. I see the same people week after week. I have a trainer who pushes me but also provides modifications if I’m struggling with back pain. I like feeling consistent and excited about working out. It doesn’t feel like a chore, but rather something I look forward to.

What’s your go-to breakfast?

Categories: About Me

36 Questions for Increasing Closeness | Part 1

I believe Elisabeth and Kyria clued me into this very interesting survey: 36 Questions for Increasing Closeness. Apparently, answering these questions tends to make people fall in love (technically, I’m supposed to choose one person in my life and take turns answering questions with them), so I’M VERY SORRY if you find out you’re totally in love with me once I finish answering all 36 questions.

I’m going to tackle just a few questions today (to keep to my word count goal of 500 per post!), so let’s dive in:

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

This is an incredibly difficult question to answer! I want to choose someone I could have an earnest conversation with but wouldn’t be intimidated by. So, with that in mind, at this point in time, I’d love to sit down with Ilona Maher (she plays for the U.S. women’s rugby team and won a bronze medal at the Olympics). She seems so down-to-earth and inspiring, and I’d love to just soak in her energy for a few hours. (And while I don’t think she’s queer, I have a massive crush on her so I’d have fun flirting with her throughout dinner, too!)

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

No, not at all. At one point, I hoped to become a published author and, of course, I wanted to be successful enough for that to be my sole job. But being famous has never been appealing to me. It comes with a whole set of problems that I wouldn’t want to deal with. For example, I would struggle so much with people not liking me. I already struggle with that! But it would be even worse if I was famous and dealing with criticism and hate in an entirely different way. No, thank you!

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

Always! I’m afraid I’m not going to explain myself well and then the person on the other end is going to get frustrated with me. I never want to be a burden – I want this phone call to be quick and easy for both of us. I also struggle with word retrieval in these types of situations, so sometimes it just helps to rehearse what I’m going to say to help with the awkward pauses I do when I’m trying to remember a word.

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

Honestly, yesterday was one of those “perfect” days. I woke up early and went to the gym. Then, I took a shower, got ready, and spent two hours at Starbucks with Mikaela. After that, I came home, ate lunch, and took a nap. Later on, I went to my mom’s house to help with some organizing projects. We also did a bit of shopping at Target (and tried to go to Bath & Body Works but they are temporarily closed, wah!), watched some TV together, and went out to dinner. It was such a wonderful day!

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

The last time I sang to myself was in the car a few days ago! I was jamming out to my Taylor Swift playlist. And to someone else? Hmm… I sang along to a Taylor Swift song while my mom was in the car with me on Wednesday evening. Does that count?

Who would be your dinner guest?