Stephany Writes

Categories: Best Of, Books

Best of 2021 | My Favorite Reads

Happy Friday, friends! Did everyone make it through the first official week of 2022 with their sanity intact? We made it!

Today, I’m continuing my “Best of 2021” series by recapping my reading year. I used to list my favorite reads of the year in a “top 10” format, but last year, I opted to break down my favorites by category and do some superlatives (a la Sarah’s Book Shelves Live). It was a super fun way to recap my reading and I was excited to bring back this format again. Let’s dive in!

Overall Favorites

Favorite Overall Book

Know My Name by Chanel Miller – This book is a masterpiece. It is Chanel’s story about being sexually assaulted by Brock Turner, the ensuing trial, and the aftermath. During the trial, Chanel was known as “Emily Doe” and then her victim impact statement (<– give it a read, if you haven’t) went viral after it was posted on Buzzfeed. In this book, Chanel takes back her story and speaks her truth. It’s a hard, harrowing book, but I am so grateful to her for writing it and bringing us into the nightmare she endured. I listened to this one on audio, which I highly recommend, as Chanel has such a soothing voice. Naming this book as my overall favorite of the year was a no-brainer, truly.

Favorite Fiction

The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune – I adored this book. I wasn’t expecting to love it as much as I did, as fantasy normally isn’t my jam. But everything in this novel just worked for me. The magical elements, the characters, the love story. It was all so sweet and with a message I can fully get behind. In this novel, Linus Baker, a case worker in the Department in Charge of Magical Youths, is sent to Marsyas Island Orphanage where six magical youths (who have been classified as highly dangerous) live. He must inspect the orphanage, meet the youths, and determine whether or not to shut down the orphanage. There are themes of acceptance and diversity and inclusion woven throughout the novel, and it was just one of those books that made me happy-sigh when I finished it. This book has definitely earned its place on my all-time favorites list, for sure.

Favorite Nonfiction

Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson – This book is a stunning work of research, depth, and thoughtfulness. In it, Isabel Wilkerson posits that the United States is a caste system where Black people are at the bottom and white, wealthy people are at the top. Any Black person trying to scale into a higher caste is frowned upon, degraded, and sometimes even killed. Wilkerson deftly outlines how the U.S.’s caste system is similar to the caste systems of India and Nazi Germany with stories and facts and history. It’s a long read and I recommend taking it slowly, as there is so much to digest, but it will be well worth your time.

Favorite Romance

Dear Emmie Blue by Lia Louis – Oh gosh, what is there to say about this sweet love story? I tore through this book, reading the second half in one sitting, which is something I rarely do these days. Emmie completely stole my heart and I was so invested in her love story. I just wanted her to get her happy ending! She most certainly did (this is a romance, after all) and the journey to getting there was not without its tears or triumphs. The next time you need something light-hearted and sweet to read, pick this book up.

Favorites by Category

Favorite Literary Fiction

Writers & Lovers by Lily King – What a surprisingly wonderful read! I wasn’t expecting much from this book—literary fiction doesn’t always work for me—but it was an easy 5-star read. I listened to the audiobook, which was likely the way to go, and found myself completely immersed in Casey’s life. Her struggles with dating, jobs, writing, and money were something I could highly relate to, and her grief over losing her mom was so well-done. This one won’t work for everyone, but it was definitely the right book at the right time for me.

Honorable mention: The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas

Favorite Contemporary Fiction

The Guncle by Steven Rowley – I didn’t love this book while I was reading it. I liked it a lot! But I came into it with very high expectations—I was expecting a really silly but fun novel about a single gay uncle (Patrick) who has fun adventures with his young niece and nephew. While it has a cheery cover and title, this novel is not exactly cheerful. It is actually very heavy. It’s a story about grief, after all. The young niece and nephew are with Patrick because their mother has just passed away after a rough battle with cancer. Their father is in rehab. And their uncle is grieving not just the loss of his sister-in-law and best friend, but also a lover he lost years ago. There are moments of levity. Patrick is ridiculous in the best possible way. The setting is magnificent (Palm Springs!). When I finished this book, I felt like I had just been through an emotional journey. It made me laugh, it made me teary. Did it live up to my expectations? Not exactly. But the more I sat with this book, the more I realized what a phenomenal read it was. I read this book over the summer and I still think about Patrick, those kids, and their story. And that’s the mark of a truly great novel.

Honorable mention: One Two Three by Laurie Frankel

Favorite Historical Fiction

Kindred by Octavia E. Butler – This book was phenomenal. It was originally published in 1979, about a Black woman who is married to a white man and is celebrating her 26th birthday in 1976 when she is suddenly thrust back in time to the antebellum South. She continues to travel back and forth in time and the reason why is revealed within the pages—and it’s very compelling. This book was a hard read, as any book involving slavery is, but so well-written and poignant. One of those must-read books!

Honorable mention: The Red Tent by Anita Diamant

Favorite Contemporary Romance

The Happy Ever After Playlist by Abby Jimenez – This book surprised me! I have not been a huge fan of Abby Jimenez’s writing, but this one was the exception. It follows Sloan, who is grieving a significant loss and suddenly finds herself face-to-face with a puppy who jumps into her car one afternoon! The owner, Jason, is out of town and his girlfriend is supposed to be watching the dog. Jason doesn’t find out that Sloan has the dog until a few weeks later. Thus begins the sweetest meet-cute ever of Sloan not wanting to give up the dog and Jason wanting his dog back and some seriously flirty phone calls and text messages. I just adored this romance. I loved Sloan and Jason’s bantering. I loved Tucker, the dog. And I loved the way everything came together in the end.

Honorable mention: Take a Hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert

Favorite Historical Romance

The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite – What a beautiful sapphic romance! I loved the emphasis on healing from trauma, women in science, and standing up for what you believe in. Lucy and Catherine were so much fun to read about, and my heart grew ten sizes as they realized the love they had for one another. There wasn’t a single thing I’d change about this book, even all of the astronomy sections.

Honorable mention: A Week to Be Wicked by Tessa Dare

Favorite YA

This Is My America by Kim Johnson – This was a stunning debut, and I honestly cannot believe it is Kim Johnson’s first novel! It was so well-written, propulsive, and poignant. The novel centers around 17-year-old Tracy who has been sending letters to Innocence X (a law firm that specializes in exonerating people who have been wrongfully convicted) since her father’s wrongful conviction seven years ago. He has less than a year before he will be executed, so her pleas are becoming more and more desperate. Meanwhile, a white teenager is found murdered, Tracy’s brother becomes the prime suspect, and he goes on the run. It’s a novel filled with twists and turns with an explosive finish, and I just couldn’t get enough of it! (Note: Bahni Turpin reads the audiobook and she’s excellent!)

Honorable mention: Tokyo Ever After by Emiko Jean

Favorite Mystery/Thriller

The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton – This book was so fascinating and I finished it completely awed by what the author had accomplished. The story is about a man named Aiden who has been tasked with solving the death of Evelyn Hardcastle. The only problem? Every day he will wake up in the body of someone else, reliving the day over and over again until he learns who the murderer is. I loved the setting of the novel—a creepy mansion—and all of the unique characters. It felt like real-life Clue! The novel was filled with twists and turns, and I’m still not sure how the author connected the dots as perfectly as he did.

Honorable mention: Thirteen by Steve Cavanaugh

Favorite Memoir/Essay Collection

When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Novel by Patrisse Khan-Cullors – It’s hard to describe how important this book is. How essential to understanding what it is truly like to be Black in America, to be Black and queer in America. Patrisse Khan-Cullors, one of the founders of the Black Lives Matter movement, takes us through her past—the painful moments, the horrifying ones, the traumatic memories—that led to where and who she is today. This book impacted me on a deep level, and it’s one you should definitely add to your antiracism reading list.

Honorable mention: The Undocumented Americans by Karla Cornejo Villavicencio

Superlatives

The Most Disappointing DNF

The Road Trip by Beth O’Leary – I abandoned this book around page 100, unable to handle the silly characters or over-the-top plot. Beth O’Leary’s The Flatshare was one of my favorite reads last year, and I had such high hopes for this book! It was such a disappointment. (It has a 3.64 rating on Goodreads, compared to The Flatshare’s 4.08, so I guess I’m not alone in my dislike!)

The Most Disappointing Book I Read

People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry – Ughhh, this book. I honestly do not understand it’s 4.08 Goodreads rating (which is higher than Beach Read, a book I much, much prefer to this one). I didn’t love the characters, hated that the entire plot centered around miscommunication (my least favorite trope), and felt like the entire reading experience was a slog.

The Book I Was Most Surprised to Love

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab – I was so delighted by this book! I didn’t expect to love it as much as I did, considering it’s a fantasy novel and pretty long (450 pages). Perhaps it was just reading a book at the right time, but I was fully invested in the plot, the characters, and even the fantasy elements.

The Book I Thought I Would Love More Than I Did

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig – This book is clearly beloved. So many of my trusted sources gave it 5 stars and I expected to love it just as much! But it just didn’t work for my reading taste. While it is a fantasy novel, so a suspension of belief is a given, there were parts of this novel that felt too far-fetched (how does one woman have SO many fascinating “other lives”?). I also didn’t love the ending. It felt very, “Just be more appreciative of your life and your depression and suicidal ideation will go away!!!” Bleh.

Most Deserving of the Hype

The Four Winds by Kristin Hannah – I am forever a Kristin Hannah stan, and this book was exceptional. I learned so much about the Dust Bowl era and what people had to do to survive during the Great Depression. While I wish she had ended the book differently, this is still a novel I am happy to recommend over and over again.

Least Deserving of the Hype

The Push by Ashley Audrain – This book was everywhere early in 2021 and I was glad to get my hands on a library copy quickly. But I just didn’t love it the same way other people did. Maybe the book was less impactful because I’m not a mother or maybe my expectations were just too high. Who knows!

The Book I Loved That Other People Hated

The Lying Game by Ruth Ware – This book has a low rating on Goodreads (3.54 on 137,000+ reviews) but I really enjoyed it. I thought it was a solid thriller and the creep factor was high. I was really satisfied with the ending, too, which isn’t always a given with thrillers.

The Book I Hated That Other People Loved

The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek by Kim Michele Richardson – I am pretty amazed at how much I disliked this book because it gets rave reviews from so many people! The Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes covers the same topic (in fact, there is some plagiarism controversy with the two books, which I don’t personally buy into it) and I found that book to be so much more compelling and better written. This one just wasn’t for me!

The Underrated Gem of the Year

American Like Me: Reflections on Life Between Cultures, edited by America Ferrera – With less than 5,000 ratings on Goodreads, this book is an easy option as my underrated gem. This collection of essays brings together so many wonderful voices—immigrants, children of immigrants, indigenous people, etc.—to discuss what it’s like to be living between two cultures. Not every essay is a masterpiece, of course, but all of the stories deserve to be told and listened to.

Best Audiobook Experience

Long Way Down by Jason Reynolds – This book is a novel in verse, so listening to it rather than reading it was really the way to go. It’s read by Jason Reynolds who is a spoken-word poet, so he really knows how to read the book in the way it’s meant to be read. It’s a powerful story of family and honor and trust, and so uniquely written, and I just had to give it my top audiobook spot this year.

What books were most and least deserving of the hype for you?

Categories: Best Of

Best of 2021 | My Yearly Goals

Happy New Year’s Eve, friends! It’s the last day of 2021, can you believe it? I don’t have any plans tonight and I’m pretty happy about that. Just give me a cozy night at home with my cats, please and thank you!

For today’s “Best of 2021” post, I’m recapping my 2021 goals! I love setting yearly goals, even if I don’t accomplish all of them. That’s not the point, after all! It’s just to have something to strive for—whether it’s a fun goal (like growing my earring collection) or a challenging goal (like establishing a regular workout routine). Here’s how I did:

1) Buy a new sectional, coffee table, and area rug. 2/3 completed. I bought a new sectional in January and an area rug in September. I am still in need of a coffee table and it’s not a purchase I prioritized this year.

2) Work out three times a week. It’s really hard to know how successful I was with this goal since I didn’t track my workouts (other than what I can look at on Peloton). I would say I was 50% successful with this goal. I will say that my success rate increased dramatically once I implemented San’s advice of selecting three days a week to work out and stick to those days. No excuses!

3) Start the process of becoming vegetarian by cutting out red meat and pork and having one meatless day once a week. Nope. I don’t know if I still have a desire to be fully vegetarian, but I do know I should limit my meat consumption for both health and ethical reasons. It’s something that’s always on my mind, but it’s been a hard mindset shift for me.

4) Become a regular water drinker. Nope. I am putting this goal back on my list for 2022 because I am determined to be one of those people who drink gallons of water every day. (Or, like, 16 ounces. Baby steps.)

5) Experiment with an elimination diet. Nope. I wanted to do a month without dairy and a month without gluten to see how my body responded to taking those food groups out of my diet. I have a feeling I have some sort of sensitivity to gluten/dairy and wanted to test my theory, but I just never put the effort into making it happen. Womp, womp.

6) Set a budget and be diligent about it. Complete. This was a very vague goal so it’s not one I can fully track, but I adhered to my budget much better this year than in previous years, so I’m happy with my progress!

7) At the end of the year, have $3,500 saved in my emergency fund and $3,000 saved in my car down payment fund. Half complete. I was able to save more than $3,000 for my car down payment and bought a car in November! My emergency fund is not at $3,500 like I’d hoped, but it’s still at a healthy level that makes me comfortable should an emergency occur.

8) Complete the 2021 Unread Shelf Project. Complete! Here’s what I tackled this year:

Some fun stats about this reading challenge:

  • 8 completed books, 4 DNFs (any books you do not attempt/finish in a given month must be donated, that’s the rule!)
  • Of the books I finished, 63% were fiction and 37% were nonfiction
  • Of the books I finished, my star rating was 4.1!
  • My favorite book in this set was The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune. My least favorite (aside from all of my DNFs) was American Royals by Katherine McGee.
  • Here’s where I sourced all of these books: Book of the Month (3), indie bookstores (2), Thriftbooks (2), Target (1), from my mom (1), a library book sale (1), a Little Free Library (1), and Amazon (1).

9) Read The Count of Monte Cristo. Complete! I finished it in August and it was a 5-star read for me.

10) Finish the year with 35% of my books being by or about BIPOC or the LGBT community. Complete! I ended the year with 39% of my books being by or about BIPOC or the LGBT community, which is up 10% from last year. Obviously, I could still do better and I will continue working towards a more diverse reading life. It takes effort to seek out titles by and about BIPOC, queer people, disabled people, etc., but it is so worth it.

11) Build an earring collection (15+ earrings). Complete! I have 16 pairs now. 🙂 I only started wearing earrings this summer, when I discovered that the holes I thought had closed up were not. Surprise! It’s been fun to add to my collection and discover what my earring style is.

12) Start dating again. Complete. Dating during the Covid era is weird for sure, but doable.

13) Work through one Bible study this year. Nope. This was something I thought I wanted to do in early 2021, but it turns out, I’m still not ready to dive back into Bible studies. Reading the Bible is still a bit triggering for me.

14) Get my third tattoo. Nope. It just didn’t happen this year. I’m still working through the design I want (it will be in honor of my grandma who died in October 2015) so I really need to sit down and solidify what I want before moving forward.

15) Stop drinking alcohol. Nope. I started writing about my decision to make this goal and how I’m approaching alcohol/drinking today and it turned into a novel. Which means I’m going to write a blog post about it! Stay tuned for that, but for now, we’ll say that I did not complete this goal in 2021 and I’m A-OK with that.

All in all, I accomplished just about half of the goals I set for myself this year. And I’m going to give myself a pat on the back for that! I’m never going to reach a 100% completion rate and, to me, that’s just fine.

Categories: Best Of

Best of 2021 | A Month-by-Month Recap

JANUARY

  • Insurrectionists stormed the Capitol building during the certification of the 2020 general election results. It was scary and horrifying, and if you still support Republican politics after that, I don’t even know what to say.
  • Biden was inaugurated! It was such a beautiful day and I was so relieved that nothing crazy happened.
  • Briana and I had a fun lady date in Plant City, visiting a farm where we got to feed cows, play with llamas, and pet horses.
  • I injured myself in early January, tripping over a garden hose and taking off a nice little chunk of skin of my big toe. It was so painful!
  • Mikaela and Nick found a surgeon to do Olive’s surgery! A true blessing. More great news: Olive had scans done that showed, after two rounds of chemotherapy, her tumor shrank by 30%. Super baby.

FEBRUARY

  • Briana and I spent a Saturday in Sarasota to visit the Ringling Museum. I’ve always loved the circus (while acknowledging its problematic elements) and it was really interesting to learn more about the ins and outs of circus life and how it came to be so popular, especially in the early 1900s.
  • My youngest nephew Dominic turned 6! We celebrated with a party at a trampoline park where the mask-wearing was… not great. Eh.
  • Mikaela, Nick, Olive, and Mikaela’s mom traveled to Boston for Olive’s surgery, which went amazingly well, and she recovered like a boss afterward. She was able to be discharged much sooner than they expected!
  • I struggled a bit with my mental health in late January/early February, leading to a month-long blogging break.
  • I participated in a fun weekend readathon called #24in48. It challenges you to try to read 24 hours in 48 hours. I read for 15 hours, which was the mini-goal I set for myself.

MARCH

  • I bought a spin bike and started my Peloton journey!
  • I received some really touching shout-outs from a few colleagues that were read aloud in our employee of the month meeting.
  • Briana and I spent a day at the Florida Strawberry Festival where we enjoyed some yummy food, strolled around kitschy boutiques, and reveled in the sunshine.
  • Book club returned! We met at a park, separated by blankets and with our own dinners to eat while catching up with one another.
  • On the last day of the month, my mom and I traveled to meet with a dachshund breeder and we met the sweetest little puppy who had been born just the day earlier. My mom fell in love immediately and by the time we were back home, she had named her: Lucy.

APRIL

  • My mom and I spent Easter with my brother and his wife’s extended family, which was really nice! It was fun to see my nephews running around with their neighborhood friends.
  • Amber and I returned to our reading dates, meeting in a local park and spreading out on our blankets. We spent 20 minutes catching up and then 30 or so minutes reading our books in silence. My favorite!
  • Briana and I took a trip to a glass museum, which had so many beautiful exhibits. Afterward, we had lunch at a yummy biscuit restaurant downtown.
  • Eloise turned 3!
  • I got vaccinated! My second shot was on April 29, and I proceeded to spend the next day in a feverish, achy state as my immune system reacted to the new antibodies flooding my body. While it sucked being sick, it was kinda cool to see my immune system at work!

MAY

  • We celebrated Mother’s Day with brunch and then visiting Grandma’s gravesite.
  • Lila turned 3!
  • I found a lump in my left armpit and was terrified for many days that it was cancerous. It was dense and super painful. Thankfully, it was just an infected cyst that responded to antibiotics. Whew.
  • Briana and I went kayaking on a beautiful day in late May. I was hoping to do more kayaking this year, but that ended up being the only time I did. Womp.
  • On May 25th, Lucy came home! It was so, so exciting to bring this sweet lady home. It was also fun to see how Chip responded to having another puppy in the house. (Mostly, he wasn’t sure what to do with her!)

JUNE

  • Amber and I had a really fun bowling date—it was the first time I’d been bowling since wayyy before the pandemic and I missed it. We also had a reading date later in the month, which was much needed.
  • Olive joined us for book club right before she started her last round of chemo. She was in great spirits!
  • Sara and Natalie got married! Their wedding was so much fun and I danced my little heart out with my family.
  • At the end of the month, I had a wonderful first date with a woman and ended the month with butterflies and hope.

JULY

  • My company named me employee of the month! It’s super rare for writers to get EOM (I was maybe one of two this entire year… or maybe the only one!) so it’s a real honor when it happens. I was so surprised!
  • I went on lots of fun dates: a Fourth of July celebration downtown, a hike in nature, watching the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics, and checking out lots of yummy restaurants downtown.
  • I took the afternoon of July 8th off to celebrate my mom’s birthday! We had lunch together, went to a painting place where I painted cute jar, and then got ice cream. The next day, we went out for a big dinner with my stepdad, my brother, and his kids.
  • OLIVE FINISHED CANCER TREATMENT!
  • I went to a tea party with Briana and her friend who was in town.

AUGUST

  • More fun dates: a baseball game, Sunday brunch, a bookstore date, a movie night, and exploring a museum.
  • I finished The Count of Monte Cristo!
  • Mom and I spent 4 days in Chicago, which was my first vacation since November 2019! We had a lot of fun together and got to meet Kim, a highlight of my year.
  • I bought a new area rug and a new TV for my home.
  • A depressive episode started creeping in.

SEPTEMBER

  • Amber and I had a fun coffee date at Black Crow Coffee downtown.
  • My brother turned 35 and my nephew Jovy turned 13. For Jovy’s birthday, we celebrated at a trampoline park and I had a blast jumping around with my mom, my cousin, and my cousin’s daughter.
  • I left Eloise outside on the balcony for over two hours one evening and I think the experience scarred me a lot more than it scarred her.
  • The NFL season started! WOOP!
  • I went through a breakup, which sent me spiraling into a depressive episode.

OCTOBER

  • I took an unannounced break from blogging because my depression was so bad, I just didn’t have the energy to write.
  • I finally got a prescription for Lexapro, the antidepressant I was on for many years before weaning myself off in the spring/summer. I cried when the pharmacist told me she could fill the script the same day and felt immediate relief after taking my first pill in many months.
  • My cousin’s daughter turned 10 (!) and we celebrated with a small, low-key house party that was a lot of fun.
  • On Halloween, I dressed up like a cat to pass out candy to the neighborhood kids with my mom.

NOVEMBER

  • Chip and Lucy participated in Running of the Wieners! They both did so well!
  • I bought a new car! Gladys is a 2022 Kia Soul and she is everything I ever wanted. It is so nice having a new car after driving around in an older car for so long. (It was always so funny to go to car dealerships and be asked what I was looking for in a new car. BLUETOOTH. I JUST WANT BLUETOOTH.)
  • My cousin hosted Thanksgiving and she did an amazing job. It was so nice to see family, too!
  • I turned 34 at the end of the month and celebrated with my annual Day of Stephany: I got a massage and a pedicure, took a long nap, and went out to dinner with my family.
  • I participated in NaBloPoMo, hosted by the lovely San! Writing a blog post every day wasn’t as much of a feat as I imagined, but I’m also very glad to be back down to my 3 posts a week schedule, hehe.

DECEMBER

  • I decorated gingerbread houses with some coworkers, and it was so nice to get together with them and vent/gossip about work.
  • My friends and I had our first annual brunch and book exchange, which was so much fun! Briana cooked us up a delicious brunch and then we did Blind Date With a Book.
  • My mom, brother, nephews, and I baked Christmas cookies together, as is tradition. We had so much fun!
  • My mom, my stepdad, and I went out for our annual Fancy Christmas Eve Dinner. I left with a full belly and a full heart.
  • I had a lovely Christmas with my family! My stepdad cooked us a delicious meal, we had a grand time opening presents, and I felt so happy and content the entire day.
Categories: Best Of

Best of 2021 | End-of-Year Survey

Happy Monday, friends! I am off work this week, so it is an especially happy Monday over here. 🙂 I have big plans for this week: writing lots of “Best of 2021” blog posts, doing a complete reorganization of my kitchen, and seeing some friends who are also off work. It should be a great last week of 2021, indeed.

Today, I’m going through one of my favorite traditions: the end-of-year survey! I can’t remember where I found this survey, but it used to be much longer. I have removed a lot of questions to bring it down to a cool 27 questions. Let’s dive in!

1) What did you do in 2021 that you’ve never done before? 

  • Had my first queer relationship
  • Visited Chicago and met Kim!
  • Bought a brand-new car
  • Went to a tea party

2) Did anyone close to you give birth? Nobody close to me gave birth, but my little fur-sister was born in March! What a friggin delight she is.

3) Did anyone close to you die? Nope. What a gift.

4) What places did you visit? Only Chicago. But it was such a fun vacation!

5) What would you like to have in 2022 that you didn’t have in 2021? A serious, long-term relationship. I’ll also settle for going on a cruise.

6) What dates from 2021 will be etched in your memory forever? June 26, which is the date my cousin married the love of her life! And July 17, which is the date Olive got to “ring the bell” signaling the end of her cancer treatment.

7) What was your biggest achievement this year? I had a lot of forward movement in my career this year, lots of new responsibilities that I crushed—so much so that I’m beginning 2022 with a nice big promotion to manager. I’m excited about this new chapter in my life!

8) What was your biggest failure? I probably could have done a better job with overall healthy living. I am working really hard on fat acceptance and loving my fat body as it is, but I also know that the last time I had blood work done, there were some troubling numbers (for example, being on the cusp of pre-diabetes). While I don’t want to diet or use any calorie-counting system ever again, I want to find ways to lower my sugar intake, drink more water, and eat more fresh fruits and veggies. But I want to do so in a way that’s not punishing and in which success is not measured by how much weight I lose.

9) Did you suffer from illness or injury? I injured my toe in January, got bronchitis in October, and dealt with sciatica off and on throughout the year.

10) What was the best thing you bought? My new car! Her name is Gladys and she’s exceptional.

Other great things bought this year: my beautiful, comfy sectional, my spin bike, and my TV.

11) Where did most of your money go? Where it always goes: to food! I feel like Ubereats should do an end-of-year wrap-up similar to Spotify, haha. But maybe that would be more depressing. (“You ordered from McDonald’s 20 times in 2021.”)

12) What did you get really, really excited about? I was really excited about the relationship I started over the summer. We clicked so naturally, had such easy chemistry, and I was hoping I had found something lasting. While the ending of the relationship broke me, I can’t regret the happiness and excitement and joy the relationship brought me.

13) What authors did you discover in 2021? There were so many good ones! For romance, some of the new authors I found were Rosie Danan, Cat Sebastian, and Olivia Waite. Jason Reynolds, Alan Gratz, and TJ Klune gave me some wonderful YA stories that I’m still thinking about today. And I read my first V.E. Schwab book this year (The Invisible Life of Addie Larue) and I’m hoping to read more of her backlist!

14) What do you wish you had done more of? Peloton workouts, long walks, therapy sessions, connecting with friends I’ve fallen away from, fiction writing, dating, reaching out to friends just to send an “I love you and am thinking of you” text.

15) What do you wish you had done less of? Worrying, anxiety spiraling, feeling FOMO, wasting so much money on Ubereats orders, complaining, being jealous.

16) How did your spend Christmas? It was such a lovely day! I woke up around 9, had a slow morning of puttering around my apartment and getting ready for the day. Around 11:30, I left for my mom’s and spent some time snuggling with the dogs. At 1:30, my brother and his family arrived! We ate Christmas dinner before tearing into our presents. (Dominic, my 6-year-old nephew, was so cute, saying, “Thank you!” directly to the person who gave him the present before he even opened it.) I was very spoiled this year, receiving many of the things on my Christmas wish list, including an air fryer, a weighted blanket, an earring organizer, white tennies, a world map canvas print, and personalized cat ornaments.

I left my mom’s house around 4:30, took a short nap on the couch, and then spent the night reading, unpacking all of my goodies, and watching episodes of The Baby-Sitters Club on Netflix. A good Christmas indeed!

17) What was your favorite TV program? BRIDGERTON! I had such an emotional hangover after watching that show.

18) What did you want and get? I wanted Olive to make it through cancer treatment, and that girl most certainly did. It was a really scary time; at one point, when Mikaela and her husband couldn’t find a surgeon willing to do her surgery to remove the tumor, I didn’t know if she would make it. But they found a surgeon, her surgery was successful, and she got through all of her rounds of chemo like a boss. And now she just gets to be a normal kid who will hopefully not remember this time in her life!

19) What did you want and not get? I wanted to feel more connected within my friend group, and this year was still a bit of a struggle with that. We returned to our monthly book clubs, which was nice, but then two friends got Covid, which led to things kind of falling apart for a bit as they recovered (and the rest of us made sure we weren’t positive!) Things started coming back together in December, though, and we already have our January book club meeting planned, so hopefully 2022 is the year things get back to where they used to be.

20) What was your favorite film of 2021? Booksmart! Okay, so it was one of, like, three movies I watched this year. It’s not hard to pick a favorite when I watch so few movies every year!

21) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 34 this year, and I had a very low-key birthday. I slept in, read my book on the couch, and then went over to my mom’s to watch football for most of the day. It was a really lovely way to spend my birthday!

22) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If Covid had gotten under control. There have been so many ups and downs this year with the pandemic: everyone getting their vaccines (good!), the Delta variant sweeping the globe (bad!), cases and deaths going down and booster shots available (good!), the Omicron variant showing up (bad!). It seems like we’re never going to get this virus under control, and it’s so defeating—especially when I hear about all of these fun events being canceled, kids maybe having to go back to virtual school for a bit, so many exposure scares. I don’t know what 2022 is going to look like, but it really feels like another pandemic year.

23) Who kept you sane? My mom always keeps me sane, but I also want to shout out two friends who were truly there for me during my depressive episode this fall, Mikaela and Amber. They checked in on me constantly and helped me feel less alone in my spiraling thoughts. These are two ladies who understand mental health struggles more than anyone, and I am so grateful they were there for me. <3

24) Who did you miss? The usual suspects: Dutch, my grandparents, my dad, etc.

25) Who was the best new person you met? Gosh, can I say Lucy? I just love that little girl with all of my heart and soul! She is the sweetest little baby who brings me so much joy every day.

I also met a lot of new people through blogging this year and that has been such a delight! Even though most of these people are in vastly different life stages from me (married, mothers, etc), we still find our own ways to connect and relate to one another. That feels so good!

26) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2021. There is nothing more freeing than living your true, authentic life. For so long, I have hidden my queerness from friends, family, and even this blog because I was scared that people would look at me differently. Telling my mom, especially, was the hardest thing I think I’ve ever had to do—not because I thought she would disown me or anything like that, but I did worry that it would change our relationship. To accept myself as a bi woman, I’ve had to do a lot of unlearning regarding my faith. When you’re told over and over again that to be anything but straight is a sin and unacceptable to God, you internalize that. I internalized it, for sure. It’s why I spent so many years trying to put this part of me in a little box, shoved deep into the recesses of my mind. But it made me so, so unhappy and so, so unfulfilled (especially in terms of dating). But now I’m living my actual truth, it has not changed my relationship with my mom in any way, and I am so much happier, more confident, and more fulfilled. There’s nothing better than that.

27) Show us one of your favorite photos from the year. I love this photo of my mom and me after we got our second Covid shot in April. I am so very grateful that I didn’t have to convince her to get vaccinated (though she’s much better about getting her annual flu shot than I am, so I shouldn’t have been worried!) And it was a great experience we had together. (Not so great was both of us feeling yucky the next day, ha.)

What was your biggest achievement this year? What was the best thing you bought? And tell me your favorite TV show and movie you watched this year!

Categories: Best Of

Best of 2021 | Blogging Stats

Happy Wednesday, friends! It’s my last day of work until a long break—12 days off! I’m going to try my best not to work during this time off and focus on rest, books, family, and friends. That sounds like a really good plan.

For today’s “Best of 2021” post, I’m taking you through my blogging stats and posts from this year. It was a really good year for my blog. I feel like I’m getting more engagement than ever before, which is a little stunning because isn’t the personal blog dead? Hehehe. It feels good to know that there are plenty of people still blogging and plenty of people still reading this little blog of mine. I appreciate each and every one of you!

This post is broken into four sections: by the numbers (blog stats for the year), my top 5 blog posts of 2021, my all-time top blog posts, and some of my favorite blog posts I wrote this year.

By the Numbers

  • 40,000 unique views
  • 11,000 visitors
  • 950 words per post on average
  • 800 comments
  • 139 posts
  • 124 countries represented in my views (with the United States, Canada, and Poland being my top three)
  • 6 new subscribers
  • 2 blog breaks
  • 1 NaBloPoMo

Countless words written, countless hours spent writing posts, countless emails exchanged with readers, countless love pouring from my soul. 

My Top 5 Blog Posts of 2021

(These are blog posts written in 2021, in order of popularity.)

  1. What I’m Reading (5.17.21) – I am astonished that this random reading recap posted in May is my highest-viewed post written this year. It has almost 500 views! How… what… why. In that post, I reviewed The Four Winds by Kristin Hannah and When No One Is Watching by Alyssa Cole, which are two very buzzy books, so maybe people just landed on my blog by googling the book? What an odd little duck.
  2. Monthly Recap | September 2021 – This was an average monthly recap post, but it’s the last post I published before I took a three-week blogging break unannounced, so I think it garnered so many views because it was at the top of my blog for three weeks straight.
  3. Thirty-Four – My yearly birthday post always seems to be one of my most popular blog posts every year. I guess you guys like it when I talk about myself, eh? Hehe. This was a very special and vulnerable post for me. I was really scared to publish it, to truly come out as queer on my blog, but the response I got was so kind, so supportive, and so loving. I really shouldn’t have expected anything less from my readers—you guys are the greatest.
  4. Everyday Moments of January – Like my monthly recap in September, I think this blog post did so well because it was the top post on my blog for a month, as I went on a month-long blogging break after posting it on February 1st.
  5. Three Things Thursday (v. 4) – It’s always funny when a random blog post like this pops up with a ton of views at the end of the year. I love doing Three Things Thursday posts, and it seems like you guys like reading them. Noted!

All-Time Most Popular Blog Posts

My all-time most popular blog posts were the same as last year, although I got a ton of hits on the “10 Things I Like About Myself” post (nearly 2,000 views in 2021 alone!) from lots of google searches.

  1. I’m 27 and Scared to Move Out (+463 views)
  2. On Being a Socially Anxious Introvert (+15 views)
  3. 10 Things I Like About Myself (+1,916 views)
  4. “What is meant for me is already mine.” (+816 views)
  5. Rules for Living with a Dachshund (+302 views)

Other Favorite Posts

  1. Reflections After One Year – One year after Covid was declared a global pandemic, I wrote this post reflecting on all of the things I wanted to remember from such a strange time in our lives. I wrote this post thinking life would be back to normal (or whatever “normal” is now) by the end of 2021, but it most assuredly is not. Stupid variants.
  2. All About Bathing – I loved writing this post and I loved reading all of the responses from you guys about your own bathing habits! The idea for this post came from an episode of The Girl Next Door Podcast. I love it when they discuss these regular, everyday parts of our lives that we all approach in entirely different ways.
  3. Mays of Years Past – I got the inspiration for this post from Lisa, who wrote about the “Mays” of her life after going through some old photos. I loved the idea and it was so fun digging through my phone to look at what I was doing every May since 2014. I really want to continue this series and do one for each month!
  4. How I’ve Grown as an Enneagram 9 – Anyone who has read my blog long enough knows that I live and breathe the Enneagram. I’m a 9 (the peacemaker) and understanding my type and how it affects the way I live and love and work have been instrumental in my life. I wrote this post about all the ways the Enneagram has changed me as a person and how I’m better able to harness my personality for the better.
  5. To All The Phones I Ever Had – This was such a fun post to write! Don’t ask me how I remembered all of the damn phones I’ve ever had when I usually can’t remember what I had for dinner last night. I guess it’s the same way that I remember all of the words to obscure CCM songs from the 90s. I loved writing this post and all of the responses from you guys about your phone history.

I’ll be taking a brief hiatus from the blog to celebrate Christmas. I’ll be back on Monday with my end-of-year survey for 2021. Happy holidays, friends!