Happy last Monday of 2019! For today’s “Best of 2019” post, I wanted to take a dive through some of my blogging stats and favorite posts from the year. I don’t really pay attention to my blogging stats throughout the year because that’s not the reason I blog – I’m doing this purely as a hobby and because I love to write and connect with people. But it is interesting to take a look back at the end of the year and see how many people were looking at my blog and reading my words. (It blows my mind that some of my posts get hundreds of views!)

The Stats

Here are some of the stats I pulled from Jetpack:

• Number of views: 35,528 (this is nearly identical to how many views I got in 2018 – crazy!)
• Number of visitors: 14,552 (-1,500 from last year)
• Number of posts: 142 (+34 from last year)
• Number of words: 134,461 with an average of 967 words per post
• Number of subscribers: 150 between Feedly, email subscribers, and WordPress.com subscribers

The Most Popular Posts from 2019

1. My Experience with Catered Fit, a Meal Delivery Service – I really loved using Catered Fit, which sent me two fully cooked meals once a day and meant I could eat healthy and not have to cook. Unfortunately, it was pretty expensive and I never felt like the food was very filling so I quit after three weeks.
2. To Have or Not to Have Kids – I was terrified to publish this post, but I shouldn’t have worried. The response was lovely and kind.
3. My Reverse Bucket List – I’m surprised this post was my third most popular from this year, as it is one I kinda slapped together at the last minute when I was low on blog ideas, haha. But it was fun to write and I loved the response I got from it!
4. All About Sleep (Part I) – How we sleep and our sleeping behaviors are always so interesting to me, so I loved talking about my own sleeping patterns and needs in this post. (Part II got a little less engagement, but I figure I should link it here if you’re interested!)
5. One Month with Eloise – In early January, I wrote about my experience being a cat mom to my sweet Ellie. We had just crossed the one-month mark and things were going incredibly well.

The Most Popular Posts of All-Time

1. I’m 27 and Scared to Move Out – I still get emails from people who found this blog post during a time when they are preparing to move out and anxious about it, and want to talk about it with me. I’m so grateful this post has been helpful to them!
2. On Being a Socially Anxious Introvert – Another blog post that people are still responding to, even years later. <3
3. Rules for Living with a Dachshund – This one was so fun to write! Anyone who has had dachshunds knows they are stubborn and crazy and so much fun. This post gets a lot of love.
4. “What is meant for me is already mine.” – This post was actually my most-visited from 2019, which is shocking to me! I found this saying on a friend’s Instagram post a long time ago and it spoke to me so deeply. It’s my favorite quote and something I think about often.
5. 10 Things I Like About Myself – I wrote this post in 2014 and all of those things still ring true for the woman I am today. It’s funny how we can change so much but our core selves tend to stay the same.

Other Favorite Posts from 2019

1. How I Find Books to Read – I loved putting together this post. I know one of the biggest struggles for people who are new to reading or trying to read more is finding books. I have a few specific sources I draw from that I outline in this post.
2. Seventy-Eight – My sweet Pops would have turned 78 this year and I wrote this post about him, my grieving process, and how badly I wish he was still here with us.
3. How I Set Boundaries with Technology – I like to think I’m pretty good at maintaining boundaries. I think that’s one of the strengths of being an Enneagram 9 (and just knowing my limits in general). I’ve developed a few specific technology boundaries for myself that I talk about in this post.
4. And Then There Were Three – Lila’s adoption story!
5. What’s a Silent Reading Event? – A few people asked me to talk about the silent reading event I attended in the spring and I was happy to oblige!

Blogging Goals for 2020

I’ve never really set any blogging goals because, again, this blog is purely for fun and pleasure. I place no stress on it – I don’t care about numbers or sponsorships or any of that. All I care about is being able to write my story and connect with other people. I care about you, the people who are reading this little blog of mine. Your comments lift my spirits, every single one of them! Alas, though, I am going to set some little goals for this year:

1. Get a new blog design – Every few years, I like to change up my blog design. Etsy has lots of simple, affordable designs that are easy to install. I think I’m ready for a change!
2. Publicize my blog more – The only social media I use these days is Instagram, so I’d like to start posting to my Stories about new blog posts. Nothing major, but just to publicize my blog a bit more than I do right now.
3. Write one personal essay every month – I love writing personal essays and I want to continue doing them in 2020.
4. Do “A Week in the Life” again – I love this series where I just take you through a typical week in my life in a story format. I haven’t done it in a few years and I think it’s time to bring it back.
5. Find at least 10 new personal blogs to read – I’d love recommendations! I don’t think I’ve really added too many new bloggers to Feedly in a while so I’d like to find some new blogs to follow.

For the last few years, I’ve been reviewing my big moments of the year in a month-by-month format, attaching an emotion to each month. It’s a lot of work but I love looking back on those posts. This year, for some reason, I felt like doing something different, and instead of recapping each month, I wanted to list out my favorite moments from the year. As I scrolled through all the pictures I’ve taken this year and looked at some of my monthly recaps, I was able to pull out 15 memories that fill me with joy and happiness. These aren’t in any particular order but, well, the first one is probably the best memory from 2019. 🙂

1. Adopting Lila.

The highlight of 2019 happened early in the year, on February 16th to be exact. I wandered into a local animal shelter and immediately fell in love with the first cat I saw, this sweet nine-month-old calico cat that they were calling Lola. While she had a tag on her cage that said she was shy, the cat was instantly affectionate with me and we bonded at once. I had no other course of action – I had to adopt her! And oh, what a perfect decision it was.

Lila has been with me for ten months now and she’s the sweetest, most loving cat. She has been the perfect addition to my little family. While she was skittish with me for a really long time (and she still won’t let me pick her up), she does love to climb up on me if I’m lying on the couch or in bed and rub against my hands. She’s sassy and sweet and sometimes a troublemaker, but I wouldn’t have her any other way.

2. Settling into life as a cat mom.

2019 was the year I became a crazy cat person. I can admit it! Eloise and Lila have made this year so incredibly lovely. They are the sweetest little souls – I know I lucked out in that department, as everyone who meets them tells me how special they are. They fill my heart with such happiness.

I spent most of 2018 pet-less; after Dutch died in February, I needed time to myself to grieve and while I’m glad I gave myself enough space to do that, it was also really lonely and sad to be without a pet, especially living alone. Coming home to an empty apartment night after night is really hard for someone like me. Now that I get to come home to my sweet kitties, who meow at me and rub against me when I walk through the door, I feel so much happier and more myself. I can’t live a life without pets! It’s just not for me.

This year has been about settling into my new life as a cat mom and it’s been a wonderful year because of that.

3. Seeing Backstreet Boys in concert.

This concert was so much fun! I had a blast singing along to BSB’s old and new songs with some of my favorite ladies, and all the great 90s/early aughts fashion everyone was wearing was such a delight. (I, myself, wore a choker that I was ready to rip off my neck by the end of the night and butterfly clips that did a great job of holding back my hair).

4. Seeing the Cliffs of Moher for the first time.

My only request for our trip to Ireland was to see the Cliffs of Moher. I mean, it’s basically sacrilegious not to go there when you’re in Ireland, right? We booked a tour for this experience and I am really glad we did. It made the experience so much better for us. I’m also glad we had such great weather! While it was cold, it only rained for a few minutes right as we got to the Cliffs and the skies were clear so we got to experience the Cliffs in all their majestic glory. It was such a special experience, one I’ll never forget.

5. Kilkenny, Ireland.

The 24 hours my mom and I spent in Kilkenny, Ireland were my favorite of the whole trip. I loved this adorable small town. We got to explore a castle, have a brewery tour, poke through a cute bookstore, and enjoy a delicious meal, and if I’d known what was awaiting us in Dublin (panic attacks and frustration), I would have opted to spend the rest of our trip here, ha. It’s a must-visit city when you’re in Ireland, in my opinion. There’s something for everyone!

6. Monthly massages.

I’ve been getting monthly massages all throughout 2019 and it has been AMAZING. When I went to this massage studio in November 2018 for my annual birthday massage, they sold me on their monthly package. For $50 a month, I can get a one-hour massage or facial. Since their normal price is $100 for a massage, it’s quite the deal. I don’t think I’ll continue getting monthly massages in 2020 because I’m going to need to tighten up my budget in preparation for my move in September, but it’s been real nice to have a scheduled massage every month this year.

7. Thursday night dates with my mom.

Over the summer, my mom and I established a semi-regular routine of meeting up for dinner on Thursday nights. It’s my work-from-home day of the week, so it’s always good for me to get out and talk to a human after spending the entire day alone (aside from my cats, of course). And I like having a dedicated day to see my mom for some one-on-one time! I definitely hope we continue these date nights into 2020.

8. Going apple picking and sitting in the Cheers bar in Boston.

My trip to Boston in October was so lovely! I enjoyed exploring this city very much, and these were two of the highlights of the trip. We went apple-picking on our first day and it was such a delight! I loved tasting all the delicious apples right off the tree and all the photos we took of each other, our group, and the gorgeous fall colors. It was definitely the quintessential New England fall experience!

Another highlight of my trip was visiting the Cheers bar in Boston. I was happy that my friends were willing to oblige me for this visit (Enneagram 9 here – asking for what I want is not my strong suit!) because it was really special to me. I’m watching Cheers for the first time right now and it’s been a bonding experience for me and my mom, who watched the show when she was a young adult.

9. A full year of therapy.

I celebrated one year of therapy in August, and I don’t see myself stopping anytime soon. It has been a complete game-changer for me. At the beginning of the year, I was still feeling pretty mired in my anxiety and unhealthy thought patterns and I wasn’t sure if I was really clicking with my therapist, but the first few sessions I had of 2019 changed my mind completely. We were able to really dig into the root of my issues and she has allowed me to find connections to current behaviors and past events that I never would have found on my own. It’s really amazing. I swear, I come to her every month with an issue and she’s able to untangle the problem for me in such a clear, concise way that I always leave feeling so much better. I feel like everyone should be in therapy, and I wish it was accessible to everyone (there was a time in my not-so-distant past when it wasn’t accessible to me, so I get it). But if it is accessible to you, go to therapy! It is a game-changer.

10. Going to two book signings.

2019 was the year of the book signings for me. I’ve never been to one before but got to attend two this year and both were so fantastic. It’s especially interesting to hear about the writing process from such established, successful authors! In March, I went with two friends to Taylor Jenkins Reid’s book signing for Daisy Jones & the Six, and in September, I went to Lisa Unger’s book signing for The Stranger Inside.

11. Spoiling my mom on her birthday.

It just so happened that my mom and I both scheduled to have her birthday off, which prompted me to declare it a day to spoil her. 🙂 We had lunch and then went to a new-to-us art studio called Practically Pikasso, and I was shocked by how much fun my mom had. (She ended up going there two more times this year!) We both painted plates to display in our respective apartments and it was really such a lovely experience. Afterward, we found a bakery nearby for cupcakes and then I hung out with her until it was time for her birthday dinner. All in all, a very fun day and I’m so glad I got to spoil my mom. 🙂

12. Pool parties.

Two of my friends bought homes with pools over the last year and a half, and so, it was the summer of pool parties! We had a few parties with just our little group (which are always my fave, I can’t lie) and some were with larger groups of people. I had fun at them all and I just really love having friends with pools! It’s so much more fun than going to my apartment’s pool.

13. The EPIC museum in Dublin.

I am so glad we made the time to visit this museum while we were in Dublin, although it is definitely a full-day adventure. (Actually, I think it’s better to take in doses – doing the first half one day and the second half another day because there is a LOT of information to take in.) Each room is interactive, giving information about Ireland’s history. There are videos and touchscreens and games. It is SO well done; I’ve never seen a museum like it. Even my mom really enjoyed herself, and she is NOT one for museums. There was also so much I didn’t know about Ireland’s history and it was really eye-opening for me.

14. Photographing a friend’s wedding.

I felt so honored and overjoyed to photograph my dear friend’s wedding. She had a very casual ceremony in a park and I took photos on my iPhone so it was a very low-key thing. (I’m definitely not getting into the photography business, nope!) But I loved being there for her and being able to give her photos she loved. That’s all that really mattered!

15. Feeling at peace with my body.

Now, I’m not going to claim that I always feel this way or that I haven’t had to struggle against my desire to plan out a super-restrictive diet for 2020 that will get me to my “goal weight.” But I will say that most days, I have come to accept – and more importantly, love – the girl I see in the mirror. Every stretch mark and roll of fat. Every time my thighs rub together or my belly sinks into my lap when I sit. They are a part of me, and they don’t make me disgusting or lazy or a slob. I don’t need to restrict my diet or work out for an hour every day or punish myself. I can’t say that I don’t wish to lose weight. I do. I would very much like that. (For aesthetics, yes. I’m not perfect at this fat acceptance thing just yet. But also for my own health, as I know I’m not as physically healthy as I should be right now.) But I also don’t feel the same way I felt at the end of 2018 and 2017 and 2016 and 2015, and on and on and on; as if turning the calendar to a new year and not yet being at my goal weight means I need to feel bad about myself and beat myself up for another year heavier. I feel at peace with my body and that’s an amazing feeling.

What were some of your favorite memories from 2019?

Happy Thursday, everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are recovering nicely from the holidays. I’m kicking off this weird time of year between Christmas and New Year’s with my “Best of 2019” series. I’m starting with my favorite end-of-year survey. I’ve been filling out this survey for a few years now and it really is a great way to look back on the year – the good, the bad, and the ugly.

1) What did you do in 2019 that you’ve never done before? Traveled to Europe. Went to a book signing (two!). Attended a cooking class. Photographed a wedding. Went to a concert (…well, that wasn’t for a Christian band). Had hibachi.

2) Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Of course! I love to make a yearly goals list every year. I’m working on my list for 2020 and I’ll be unveiling it next week. Stay tuned!

3) Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes! One of my dearest friends gave birth to a beautiful baby girl in November.

4) Did anyone close to you die? No.

5) What places did you visit? Ireland (Galway, Kilkenny, and Dublin), Boston, Key West, and Nassau, the Bahamas.

6) What would you like to have in 2020 that you didn’t have in 2019? I would like to find love. I think I say this every year, but it feels especially true right now. I find myself longing for romance and companionship. I want to find my person, I want to someone to laugh with and adventure with and share my deepest desires with. Right now, more than I’ve ever felt it in my life, I feel like it’s time to fully invest in dating and see where it takes me.

7) What dates from 2019 will be etched in your memory forever? February 16th, which is Lila’s “gotcha” day. And November 10th, which is the day my friend’s baby was born.

8) What was your biggest achievement this year? Getting to a place of stability with my mental health, and staying that way for many months. I spent the last few years (honestly, probably the majority of this last decade) embroiled in major anxiety and unhealthy thought patterns, and it wasn’t until I started medication and therapy that things began to truly turn around. With the medication, I stopped feeling like I was constantly standing on the edge of a mountain, my heart pumping with adrenaline. With therapy, I was able to work on my self-esteem issues and my unhealthy thought patterns and start to connect the dots on what’s reality and what’s not. A few years ago, I could have never suspected I could feel the way I do today. I thought anxiety would always be a constant presence in my life (and, to be fair, it is, but at a much lower level, one that is entirely manageable). It’s an amazing accomplishment for me.

9) What was your biggest failure? Not finishing my novel. I’m so close to the end! I wrote 80,000 words of my novel this year and was hoping to use December to wrap it up, but it didn’t happen.

10) Did you suffer from illness or injury? Yes. I had some GERD issues in the spring that I ended up seeing a doctor for (cleaning up my diet was the trick!) and I broke my ankle in December.

11) What was the best thing you bought? Hm… I’d have to say paying the adoption fees for Lila! Runner-up is my ticket to Ireland.

12) Where did most of your money go? Probably to travel, which I can’t be mad about. I went on three great trips this year and I loved them all!

13) What did you get really, really excited about? I was stupidly excited about my trip to Ireland. I spent so many months planning for it and was so excited to finally see this country I had only seen in pictures for so long! I also got really excited about my cats – seeing them at the end of a long workday, cuddling with them in the morning, etc. They have filled my life with such immense joy!

14) What authors did you discover in 2019? So many! I finally read novels by John Boyne, Emily St. John Mandel, and Anita Diamant. I fell in love with Lucy Parker – her romances were some of my favorites of the year – and really enjoyed the wonderfully diverse romances from Adriana Herrera. I was also impressed with the debuts of Angie Kim and Casey McQuiston.

15) Compared to this time last year, are you a) happier or sadder, b) thinner or fatter, c) richer or poorer? I am much happier, a bit chubbier, and richer.

16) What do you wish you had done more of? I wish I would have reached out to friends more. I have a bad habit of waiting for people to reach out to me… and then feeling sorry for myself when nobody does. But I’m also not reaching out as much as I should, and I want to get better about reaching out, making plans, and not letting my own insecurities get in the way of my relationships.

17) What do you wish you had done less of? Less worrying. This was a year where I worried so much about changes that were happening and how I fit into those changes. Would I be left behind? Looking back, I can see I could have saved myself so much heartache if I embraced the changes and understood that people love me for who I am, not who they think I should be. (And that people who don’t love me for who I am shouldn’t get access to my time and energy!)

18) How did you spend Christmas? I slept in and then spent the morning reading and working on “Best of 2019” blog posts while sipping an iced coffee. I left around noon for my mom’s and we had about an hour to ourselves before my brother and his family arrived. Once they were here, we opened presents (and my younger nephew exclaiming, “I can’t believe this!” every time he opened a present was everything my heart needed) and I got just about everything I asked for – and then some! After that, we had Christmas dinner and then just hung out for a while. I left around 4:30, came home, and gave the girls their presents (my mom bought them this fun ball tower, and Chip “got” them some toys to bat around). Then I took a bubble bath and lazed around for the rest of the evening! It was a good Christmas indeed.

19) What was your favorite TV program? Schitt’s Creek! I’m so glad I discovered that show this year. It has been such a delight.

20) What was the best book you read? The best novel I read this year was Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi. The best nonfiction book I read this year was White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo.

21) What did you want and get? I wanted a second kitten and I got her! Have I mentioned lately how much I love Lila and what a perfect addition she has been? She’s such a sweetheart and my little cuddle bug.

I also really wanted to finally have $1,000 saved in an emergency fund and I did it! I have been trying to do this for years. (I’m terrible at finances and saving money.) It feels so good to have this as a buffer in case of emergencies.

22) What did you want and not get? There were a few really cool opportunities that I was hoping would pan out for me, but they didn’t. It was really hard when that happened (especially when they happened multiple times), but that just means they weren’t right for me.

23) What was your favorite film of 2019? I didn’t watch a ton of movies this year (I think, like, five?) but I think my favorite of the few I watched was To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before. Such a cute teen rom-com!

24) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 32 this year and my birthday fell on Thanksgiving! After sleeping in and getting ready for the day, I drove to my mom’s house for the holiday. I helped her with some of the preparations and then my brother and his family came over. We ate a delicious meal and then the whole family sang happy birthday to me! I left my mom’s around five, came home to my kitties, and ate a second helping of mashed potatoes, turkey, and gravy. I didn’t do much that evening – put the finishing touches on my birthday blog post, read Reddit, and went to bed on the early side. It was a good day!

25) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If I had embraced the changes that were happening around me, instead of resisting them. I think I would have been a lot happier if I hadn’t spent so much time feeling like these changes meant I was going to be left behind.

26) Who kept you sane? My cats! I’ve always known that pets make life so much better but I don’t think I realized how much until I spent 10 months without pets in 2018. Of course, I was grieving Dutch and I wanted the time to do that. I didn’t want to get a pet to fill a void. But man, now that I have my girls, life is so much better. They’re my little buddies! Right now, as I type up this post, they’re snoozing on the couch next to me. 🙂

27) Who did you miss? I had many, many moments where I really missed Pops. It’s still hard to fathom his loss and it hurts so much to think about never seeing him again.

28) Who was the best new person you met? I don’t think I met any new people this year. Oh! Can I count my friend’s baby here? Meeting her and watching my dear friend as a mom has been such a delight for me.

29) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019. Thoughts are not reality. I spent a lot of time in therapy this year talking about the spiraling thoughts I have and how to stop letting those thoughts influence my decisions and how I feel about myself. It’s a hard habit to break, one that has been ingrained in me for years and years. But I’ve learned to take a step back when I have a thought that I know will send me spiraling down a black hole. I think about what evidence I have that supports this thought and what evidence I have that doesn’t support this thought. (99% of the time, there’s no evidence to support my thought.) It’s an immensely helpful exercise and has been a game-changer in the way I view myself and my thoughts.

30) Show us one of your favorite photos from the year. I love this photo of Eloise and Lila, and they were such a big part of my year as I learned how to become a cat mom. It’s been the lock screen on my phone for months now and always makes me happy when I see it!

Share one of your accomplishments of 2019 in the comments! I’d love to hear them. 🙂

I’m officially going to end my reading year with 134 books read. I’m currently in the middle of two books but there’s no way I’m finishing them today, so 134 it is! This is the most books I’ve read in a year, and I’m really curious to see if this is an anomaly or my new normal. (My best guess is that it’s an anomaly, a year when I had a lot of free time and devoted most of that free time to reading.)

Reading 134 books in a year means whittling that list down to my top 10 reads was a hard process! But, alas, I made it happen and I’m really satisfied with the list I have come up with. My number-one book of the year ended up being one of my last reads of 2018, so I’m really glad I snuck it in at the end!

10. Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Faith and Culture in Crisis by J.D. Vance

In this memoir, J.D. Vance tells us his life story of growing up poor in Appalachia and managing to escape the cycle of poverty to become a Yale-educated lawyer. As he tells his story, he explores ideas of upward mobility, poverty, and the forgotten lower class. I grew up poor myself and I could relate so much to the author’s words. It really helped me come to terms with my own upbringing and how the effects of it reverberate throughout my life even today. Hillbilly Elegy has gotten a lot of negative buzz – and rightly so, as he never fully addresses his privilege of being white and poor, which is a completely different experience from being black and poor – but I really loved this book. It’s heartfelt, well-written, and vulnerable. And it speaks to an experience that people talk about in broad terms, giving us more of an inside look at the day-to-day existence of living in poverty.

9. Home Front by Kristin Hannah

Home Front is a novel about military families and war and the sacrifices soldiers make for us. Joleen and Michael have been married for twelve years and have had two daughters together, but their marriage feels on borrowed time right now. And then, Joleen is unexpectedly deployed, throwing their whole family into a tailspin. Joleen has to cope with missing a full year of her daughters’ lives while also handling life in a war zone. Michael has to step up to play both the mother and father roles for the family. It’s a book that could be frustrating at times because Michael was just so incredibly selfish and Joleen played the martyr a little too often, but it’s also a book that had me full-on sobbing while I was reading it and even when I finished it. I loved the perspective of a woman soldier and the perspective of a husband left back at the home front. There don’t seem to be a ton of books about this experience. This novel hit me right in the heartstrings and while I’ve always been thankful for the sacrifices soldiers make for us, there was something about seeing how it plays out in an ordinary (albeit fictional) family that made me really come to terms with what that sacrifice looks like on a daily basis.

8. Dreamland Burning by Jennifer Latham

Dreamland Burning is a novel that weaves together a present-day story of Rowan, a seventeen-year-old girl who discovers a skeleton on her family’s property, and the story of Will who becomes entrenched in the Tulsa race riot of 1921. I had never even heard of the Tulsa riot before reading this story, and it was just completely horrific to realize, once again, how black people were othered again and again by white people. I was especially engaged with Will’s story because it was such a glimpse into what life was really like for black people in the 1920s and how they were discriminated against so much, just because of their skin color. This is a book that should be required reading, in my opinion, and I really encourage listening to the audiobook of this novel because it’s nearly movie-like in the way the story is told.

7. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith

I finally read this much-beloved novel, written in 1943, for my yearly goal of reading four “classic” books. It’s a coming-of-age story of Francie Nolan, a sensitive and idealistic young woman who captured my heart from the get-go. It’s a pretty long book (my paperback version was almost 500 pages with tiny font), but that allows the reader to get truly seeped into Francie’s life. She lives in the slums of Williamsburg in New York, desperate for love, acceptance, and education, and we follow her life as she grows from a precocious little girl to a woman in her late teens. It’s a beautifully written book and one I’ve thought often about this year, so it’s definitely a story that sticks with you.

6. One True Loves by Taylor Jenkins Reid

In this novel, Taylor Jenkins Reid explores the idea of having one true love… or maybe we have multiple true loves throughout our lifetime. Emma is in her early twenties when she marries her high school sweetheart and they truly live life to the fullest together, traveling the world and never staying put for very long. But then, her husband goes missing after the helicopter he’s on disappears over the Pacific. It takes her years to come to terms with his probable death, and part of her coping strategy is to build a new life in her hometown. It’s there that she reunites with an old friend, Sam, and finds herself falling in love again – something she never thought was possible. She’s engaged to Sam when the news comes: her husband is alive. It’s an impossibly beautiful story and was so engrossing that I could barely put it down, finishing it in two days. It’s funny and lighthearted, but also intensely vulnerable and gut-wrenching. Taylor Jenkins Reid is a truly talented storyteller and I desperately need to read the rest of her backlist.

5. Beartown by Fredrick Backman

Beartown is a tiny town nestled deep in the forest, a struggling town that has pinned all its hopes and dreams on the junior ice hockey team. As the book begins, the team is readying themselves to compete in the national semi-final game, and it’s after this match that things reach a cataclysmic peak. Accusations are spit out, lines are drawn, and a town now has to grapple with the aftermath. It’s the kind of story that sneaks up on you, as the beginning half of the novel is slow and meandering. I wasn’t quite sure where the plot was going or why I needed to keep reading. But then the event happens and suddenly, I couldn’t read the book fast enough. It was heartbreaking and frustrating and way too real. Backman has written an incredible story in Beartown, and it’s one everyone should read.

4. Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

Eleanor Oliphant might be my favorite character of 2018. Eleanor is a socially awkward woman who says exactly on her mind because she doesn’t know any other way to be. But it doesn’t make her very many friends, which is why she usually spends her entire weekends alone. And then she meets Raymond. Raymond works in IT at her company, but she’s not too keen on him, and is pretty obvious to him that she doesn’t think they’re destined for friendship. But then, one night, Raymond and Eleanor end up saving an older gentleman named Sammy and this sets everything into motion. Eleanor begins to understand the meaning of friendship, of opening up, of letting people see you. It’s an utterly charming novel and now one of my go-to recommendations. (Just be warned: the novel doesn’t really pick up until at least 100 pages, but it’s so, so worth it to keep reading through the slower beginning. I promise!)

3. Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski

When I picked up this book, I wasn’t sure if it was going to be for me. For me, sex is a fraught subject starting with growing up as an evangelical Christian who was told over and over again that sex is only okay inside of heterosexual marriage. It made me look at sex as something taboo. This book, though, was life-changing. In this book, Dr. Nagoski takes readers through all of the research that has been done about women’s sexuality and what that means for women today. She talks about how pleasure differs for every woman (way more than it differs for men), how context is the most fundamental factor to every woman’s sexual well-being, and how every woman either has sensitive brakes or a sensitive accelerator when it comes to how they approach sex. She relates all of the research to a series of couples, based on real people she’s counseled, which really helps to put all of the research into context for how it works in the real world. For the first time ever, I feel empowered to understand my body better and what it needs to receive pleasure. I encourage any woman to read this book because it’s just important to understand how women’s sexuality works, no matter if you’re happy with your sex life or not.

2. The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang

Oh, how I loved this romance. It was so sweet and it’s one I can see myself reading over and over again. The Kiss Quotient is about Stella, a thirty-year-old woman with Asperger’s who has just about zero experience in the romance department so she decides to hire a male escort to teach her the ways of kissing and sex. Michael is a tailor by day and a male escort by night, and he cannot afford to turn down Stella’s offer. Together, they work through all of the different “lessons” that Stella has outlined in the lesson plan she put together and… well, you know where it goes from there. It’s a romance, after all. I found myself rooting for Stella and Michael from the get-go, both of their characters were so well-developed, and the kindness Michael exuded for Stella melted my heart. It’s a very steamy romance, however, so it’s not for the faint of heart, but I truly enjoyed every single second I spent with this novel.

1. Becoming by Michelle Obama

In this memoir, former (but forever in my heart) First Lady Michelle Obama shares her story, starting with growing up in the south side of Chicago with a hardworking father, homemaker mother, and older brother and following through the eight years she spent as First Lady. Her life was never easy, but she persevered throughout it all to become the woman she is today. I teared up multiple times throughout the book, sometimes due to happiness (Barack’s proposal!) and sometimes due to sadness (like when she starts naming all of the black men killed by police in one year). Michelle offered us a unique glimpse into what it’s like to live in the White House, to have the expectations of FLOTUS, and to be married to a man like Barack. I listened to her memoir on audiobook, which she reads herself, and it was completely wonderful to spend 16 hours with Michelle in my ears. It’s easily my favorite book of the year and my favorite memoir of all-time, hands down.

See any favorites on this list? What was the best book you read this year?