Books – Page 76

Categories: Books

June Reads

Happy Fourth of July to my American readers! I have an easy morning and afternoon planned, and then around 3pm, I’m heading over to my uncle’s house (he lives mere steps from the beach!) to celebrate the holiday with a barbecue and walking down to the beach to watch the fireworks. I’ve skipped the fireworks for a few years now (since I always had to work the next day), so I’m excited to see the show!

Today, I have an easy reading recap for you! I read 7 books in June, bringing my total books read in 2014 to 42. I’m currently 5 books ahead of my goal to read 75 books, which I’m happy about! At this rate, I should be able to read at least 80 books this year. Wahoo!

It was hard to pick my favorite book I read this month, but I think I enjoyed The Edge of Normal the most. My least favorite read was Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, which is one of the books on my reading challenge list for this year. I really wasn’t a fan and only finished because of the challenge.

Let’s dive into the reviews!

1. Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells – 2 stars*

This book was really hard for me to get into, and at the end of it, I found I didn’t really enjoy it. There were a ton of interesting themes at play (mother/daughter relationships, friendships, mental illness, etc.), but I never felt a connection to the story. I didn’t like Sidda all that much, and I really didn’t like Vivi. I felt like the language was super cheesy and very overdone (how many descriptions of a character’s clothing does one book need?). I went into this book knowing it was well-loved and expecting to enjoy it, but it just fell flat for me.

2. The Edge of Normal by Carla Norton – 4 stars

I loved this book. It reminded me of Gone Girl a bit because of the thriller aspect and not knowing what would happen next. But with likable characters! At times, it was hard to read because it involved many tough themes, such as captivity, rape, and abuse. But I zipped through this book, even staying up late one night to finish it because I couldn’t put it down! I definitely recommend this book!

3. Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen – 4 stars*

Oh, gosh, I really liked this book a whole lot more than I thought I would! I never saw the movie when it came out (I was only 12, after all), but I really want to see it after reading the book! It was a really quick read, as it’s only around 160 pages long and some of those pages involve medical transcripts from Kaysen’s time in the hospital. I wish there had been more chapters involving Kaysen’s time in the hospital and the other patients there because I found that so incredibly fascinating. It was not as dark and twisty as I thought it would be, but instead, shed a light on mental illness and psych wards.

4. In Search of a Love Story by Rachel Schurig – 4 stars

This was a really cute romance novel. I truly enjoyed it. It was entirely predictable and you could easily tell what was going to happen from the start, but I didn’t mind that. There were some things that happened that made me want to shake the character because she was being so ridiculous, but, all in all, a super cute novel.

5. Hot Pursuit by Suzanne Brockmann – 4 stars

This book (I think it’s the 16th in Brockmann’s Troubleshooter series) involved the continuing story of two of my all-time favorite book characters, Sam and Alyssa. Those who read this series probably feel the same way about these two. There is just something about them. And I got to read some scenes with my other two favorite book characters – Robin and Jules – so, safe to say, this was a book I wanted to keep reading forever and ever and ever amen. What can I say that I haven’t already said about Brockmann’s books? They’re top-notch, have the best writing, and there is always a crazy plot twist at the end. Another great novel from her!

6. He Found Me by Whitney Barbetti – 3 stars

I was really excited to read this book since it was written by a blog friend of mine! It was an enjoyable book, but it was a little slow-moving in parts. I also expected more twists and turns due to the description of the book (I thought there would be more of a mystery element). All in all, though, I thought the writing was fantastic and it was a really great debut novel. I can’t wait to read more from her!

7. Distant Shores by Kristin Hannah – 3 stars

This was an okay read. I think I had a really hard time connecting to the characters because they are in such a different stage of life than me (late forties, married for 20+ years, two kids who are in college). The wife realizes she’s spent more time focusing on her family and making sure they are happy than herself and what makes her happy. It wasn’t my favorite book from her, so I probably wouldn’t recommend this one.

*Part of my Rory Gilmore Reading Challenge

What was the best book you read in June?

Categories: Books

The Willpower Instinct

Way back in early May, when I wrote my reading recap for the books I read in April, I talked about a book called The Willpower Instinct, written by Kelly McGonigal. It was a thoroughly interesting read, and I took notes upon notes while working my way through the book. As someone who struggles with her weight, and pursuing other goals, I love reading about willpower, self-control, and how our brains react to different environments. It’s a book I could definitely see myself reading again and again because it was so insightful and also very well-written. McGonigal has a witty, easy writing style and I found myself chuckling during a few parts of the book.

Today, I wanted to rehash some of the lessons I learned while reading this book. It was hard to nail down just four lessons because this book was chock-full of insights that had my mind buzzing and things clicking as I related it to my own life. But, for the purposes of this blog, I’ll stick with four. If you’re intrigued enough, I highly suggest buying the book and reading it yourself. It’s worth the read!

Without further ado, though, here are four lessons I learned from The Willpower Instinct:

Lesson #1: We are primed to think about what we want to avoid.

It’s actually a scientific theory and it’s called ironic rebound. It’s the “psychological tendency to fall deeper in desire whenever a romance is forbidden.” So when you tell yourself you can’t have cookies, or use your credit card, or have fast food… well, guess what the number one thought you’ll be thinking of is?

What happens when we tell ourselves we can’t have something, our brain starts working in overdrive. One part of our brain works hard to keep us from thinking about that forbidden thought. This part of our brain is in charge of self-control and wastes a ton of mental energy performing this task. And then, another part of our brain is “looking for any evidence that you are thinking, feeling, or doing whatever you don’t want to think, feel, or do.” Now, this part of the brain has processes that are more automatic and they waste very little mental energy.

So, you can probably see what happens. We start overusing one part of our brain to not think about the thing we want until it gets overtired, and then the other part takes over. The part that’s only searching for those forbidden thoughts. Oh, that naughty brain of ours! So we begin to think those forbidden thoughts, push them away, and they come back – and come back with even more authority. And, “because you are trying not to think about it, its reappearance seems even more meaningful. As a result, you’re more likely to believe it is true.”

So what can we do? Let go. Stop trying to control your thoughts and just let them come and let them go. Studies have shown that when we give ourselves permission to think about a forbidden thought, it actually reduces the likelihood we are to think about that thought. THE BRAIN IS CRAY. CRAY, I TELL YOU.

Lesson #2: Self-control is not punishment.

I know I can be someone who rewards myself when I work really hard toward a goal for a certain number of days. Isn’t that, technically, what a cheat day or cheat meal is? Rewarding ourselves for “being good!” This is actually a process called moral licensing, which is when we believe we should “reward ourselves for good behavior if we believe that who we really are is the self that wants to be bad.” In essence, every act of self-control we pursue is an act of punishment, while every act of self-indulgence is an act of reward. Isn’t that insane to think about, but really so true? I know it is in my life. I tell myself I deserve that cookie for being good all day long. Or that I deserve this cheat meal because I was good during the week and lost weight. Every time I stay within my calorie limit, resist sweets, or wake up early to exercise is an act of self-control which can sometimes feel more like a punishment than anything else.

McGonigal writes: “Moving beyond moral licensing requires knowing that who we are is the self that wants the best for us – and the self that wants to live in line with our core values. We will no longer act like someone who must be bribed, tricked, or forced to pursue our goals, and then rewarded for making any effort at all.”

Lesson #3: Stress shifts the brain into reward-seeking status.

This was something that I found super, super, super interesting. Feeling stressed is a normal part of anyone’s life. Whether it’s work stress, relationship stress, life stress, whatever stress, we feel it. We all have to find ways to cope with it. And, in fact, the brain is working against us when it comes to stress because it immediately shifts into reward-seeking status and you begin to feel that the only way to feel better, or less stressed, is by having that reward. Whether that’s chocolate or shopping or mindlessly looking at the Internet, we all do it.

There are many, many stress-relieving activities that are effective (such as exercising, reading, taking a walk outside, chatting with a friend, etc.), but many of us don’t immediately think of those. Why are they so effective? Well, “they boost mood-enhancing brain chemicals like serotonin and GABA, and feel-good hormone oxytocin. They also help shut down the brain’s stress response, reduce stress hormones in the body, and induce the healing relaxation response.” But we tend to underestimate how good they will make us feel because “when we’re stressed our body will mispredict what will make us happy, so we often talk ourselves out of doing the very thing that will make us feel better.”

The only way to strengthen this muscle is to use it often. So the next time you feel stressed and feel yourself craving a candy bar, go outside and take a walk. Or sit down with a book for 15 minutes. Or meditate. Listen to music. Talk to a friend. There are many different effective stress-relieving activities that actually work to lessen stress that don’t include eating everything in sight or draining our bank account.

Lessen #4: Be compassionate toward yourself.

Here’s the deal: we are all our own worst critics. We beat ourselves up for not meeting a goal. We are hard on ourselves, way harder than other people are on us. And I think we can sometimes feel like this is the right way to look at things. To be super critical of our faults and not living up to what we expected of ourselves. But, in actuality, it’s not.

“Self-criticism is consistently associated with less motivation and worse self-control…self-compassion is associated with more motivation and better self-control.”

Interesting, eh? When we take a self-compassionate point of view, researchers have found, we remove the guilt and criticism and we can more fully reflect on our failure in a new light, allowing us to take more responsibility for our actions.

McGonigal writes more about the downfalls of self-criticism: “[It] makes your setbacks feel like evidence that you are a hopeless loser who screws everything up, and thinking about your failure is a miserable exercise in self-hate. Your most urgent goal will be to soothe those feelings, not learn from the experience. It drives you straight to comfort coping, like eating your feelings.”

***

There were so many other lessons I learned while reading this book, but I think this post is long enough as it is. If you’re interested in this topic (the book does skew a little bit on the healthy living side, but it’s really helpful for anyone who wants to learn more about how our brains react to self-control and willpower, and how to strengthen those muscles), be sure to check out the book. As I said, it’s very well-written and I can see myself rereading it in the future.

Categories: Books

May Reads

May was a great reading month for me! I read 8 books and I’m on track to knock my goal of reading 75 books this year out of the water. My favorite book this month was Attachments, while my least favorite was French Lessons.

1. Little Earthquakes by Jennifer Weiner – 4 stars

I am really enjoying Weiner’s books now. I read a couple of her books that I really didn’t like (I couldn’t make it through Best Friends Forever and Certain Girls made me the most upset any chick-lit book has ever made me), but decided to give her another chance since so many people love her books. I’m so glad I did! I really enjoyed this book and it was just one of those novels that made me happy. It followed the journey of four different woman, three of whom are new mothers and trying to navigate the world of new motherhood. It’s really a book about family – about the family you make with your husband, about in-laws, about your nuclear family and how everything changes after motherhood. At times, I felt she was a little over-the-top with the descriptions of new motherhood but then again, I’m still (very happily) childless so what do I know?

2. French Lessons by Ellen Sussman – 1 star

This book was just bad. I think (I hope?) it was one of those “Kindle Free Books” one day a long time ago, so I downloaded it and finally got around to reading it. The synopsis sounded pretty great. It involved the lives of three French tutors and their clients for the day, three Americans who are in Paris for three very different reasons. It followed them around during their day in Paris, but it felt more about the stories of these Americans than actually their experiences in Paris. There are many, many themes of infidelity that rubbed me the wrong way. (Sometimes, I don’t mind the way infidelity is written and sometimes, it makes me very angry! This book was the latter.) There didn’t really seem to be a plot and I kept waiting for something to happen.

I’m actually surprised I kept reading this book because I usually abandon books I don’t have to read if they don’t get interesting within 100 pages, but I kept trucking through this one because I did enjoy the writer’s use of language and imagery… I just wish there was a stronger plot to go with it.

3. Attachments by Rainbow Rowell – 5 stars

You guys. You guys. YOU GUYS. This book was the cutest thing I have ever read in my entire life. I had this silly, sappy smile on my face when I was reading it and I just loved it. The characters were so cute and funny and sweet. The plot was intriguing. And the ending made me so, so happy. I am such a fan of Rainbow Rowell. She’s quickly becoming one of my favorite authors!

4. It Happened One Autumn by Lisa Kleypas – 4 stars

I really enjoyed this novel! I read it during my cruise and it was the perfect romantic, light read that I crave on vacation. (Or, hell, most times of the year! Ha.) This one continued the story of the “Wallflowers” that I read last month, focusing on another girl and her love story. It was cute, it was playful, and probably around 60% in, it became one of those stories I couldn’t put down and just had to keep on reading until I finished it. I love books like that!

5. One Hundred Names by Cecelia Ahearn – 4 stars

My full review of this novel is here!

6. The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer – 3 stars

This book was long. So long. Almost 500 pages in tiny print and it felt like it took me forever to get through it. It followed the lives of six friends who met in the 70s at an artsy summer camp when they were teenagers. While I felt the book was well written and the characters were well-developed, I just didn’t feel like anything happened. I just felt like I read the book to get through it, not because I particularly enjoyed the novel and wanted to learn more about the characters.

7. The Heiresses by Sara Shepard – 5 stars

One of my favorite reads this month! You can read my full review here.

8. Seduction Under Fire by Melissa Cutler – 3 stars

I’ve really enjoyed all the Melissa Cutler books I’ve read, but this one was just okay. It’s one of her earlier novels, so I can really see how her writing has grown from this book to her later ones. The plot seemed to drag on and on and on, and I didn’t feel a real connection to the characters. (They weren’t very likable, either.) So, an okay read but not her best.

What was the best book you read in May?

Categories: Books

Book Review: The Heiresses by Sara Shepard

From Goodreads:

The series follows one of the most prestigious and wealthy families on the Upper East Side who have built their entire fortune on the business of diamonds.

Due to a clause the grandfather placed in his will, only his granddaughters are set to inherit his massive fortune…these are the heiresses. After the death of their cousin, the remaining heiresses try to figure out if the family curse is real or not, and if not, who killed their cousin, and more importantly, which one of them is next on the hit list?

My review:

I have never read a book by Sara Shepard, but I have been a longtime fan of the TV shows, Pretty Little Liars and The Lying Game, based on Shepard’s books. So I was pretty certain I would love this book and, spoiler alert, I totally did. It was just the perfect light, fun read I needed after finishing a particularly heavy book. I was so excited to dive in and this novel did not disappoint in any way.

As someone who has been a big fan of Pretty Little Liars and The Lying Game for many years, this book definitely followed the same kind of theme. I could totally picture it becoming its own hit TV show, and I wouldn’t be too upset about that. 😉 It was still super intriguing and hard to put down. The characters were so well-written, each cousin having her own unique back story and struggles. I read this book in the space of 24 hours because I just could not stop reading – I had to find out who-dun-it!

Sure, it’s not some great “literary read.” It’s just a fun read. And fun reads are the types of novels I love the most, they are why I started reading in the first place and why I am still a bookworm to this day. Literary novels have their place, but easy beach reads like this one will always hold the key to my little bookworm heart. (Too cheesy?)

Anyway, The Heiresses was fabulous and I can’t wait for the next novel in the series (this one ends on such a crazy cliffhanger!). Oh, and now I think it’s time to start reading the Pretty Little Liars and Lying Game series. Yep, yep.

My rating: 5 stars

I received this book for free from TLC Book Tours in exchange for an honest review. All words and opinions, unless otherwise stated, are my own.

Categories: Books

Book Review: One Hundred Names by Cecelia Ahearn

Goodreads summary: Journalist Kitty Logan’s career is being destroyed by scandal – and now she faces losing the woman who guided and taught her everything she knew.

At her terminally ill friend’s bedside, Kitty asks – what is the one story she always wanted to write? The answer lies in a file buried in Constance’s office: a list of one hundred names. There is no synopsis, nothing to explain what the story is or who these people are. The list is simply a mystery. But before Kitty can talk to her friend, it is too late.

With everything to prove, Kitty is assigned the most important task of her life: to write the story her mentor never had the opportunity to. Kitty not only has to track down and meet the people on the list, but find out what connects them. And, in the process of hearing ordinary people’s stories, she starts to understand her own.

My thoughts: This book took me some time to get into, to really dig deep into the characters’ lives and feel something for them. In the beginning, Kitty wasn’t a very likable character. She was bratty, self-absorbed, and hard to root for.

In the beginning, it was hard to see how the story was going to unfold, so I didn’t form personal connections with the barrage of characters that were introduced to me, but it all plays out in this natural, endearing, thrilling way. Kitty is in her element, as she begins to interview people from this list her mentor left behind, inserting herself into their lives and trying to understand what about them makes them special. Why her mentor left this list, how do all these people connect?

I ended up loving this book. I loved seeing Kitty start to realize what’s important in life and get back to her journalistic roots. I loved all the different characters and their stories (so creative!). I loved how it all wrapped together in a beautiful way. It wasn’t the way I expected it to end, and I love when authors surprise me like that! (Good surprises, that is.)

I highly recommend this book to anyone who loves a good story. It’s well-written and witty. I gave a happy sigh when I finished it.

My rating: 4 stars

I received this book for free from TLC Book Tours in exchange for an honest review. All words and opinions, unless otherwise stated, are my own.