Healthy Living

Not My First Rodeo

At my core, I’m an overanalyzer. I spend a lot of time in my head, thinking about what my reactions to different things mean. And so I’ve been doing that a lot as I come to terms with my psoriatic arthritis diagnosis.

The truth is, it doesn’t feel like I’ve been handed bad news or that life as I knew it is suddenly going to change. Sure, I may need to do things differently, especially when my joints flare up. I’m going to be on medication for the rest of my life, and I will need constant monitoring to make sure that the medication is working well. I’ll have to see a rheumatologist regularly, a new specialist visit to add to my bingo card.

But honestly? I’ve been here before.

In 2017, I was living in a constant state of anxiety. It felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. It felt like I was constantly standing on the edge of a cliff, just wanting for a gust of wind to tip me over into the abyss. Every morning felt fragile, and every evening felt heavy.

And then I talked to my doctor, started Lexapro, and gradually, the pressure on my chest eased, the cliff fell away to solid ground, and I could greet my days without fear.

After spending quite a few years on Lexapro, I thought it was time to wean myself off the medication. I was fine now. I had been in therapy! While I didn’t begrudge anyone who needed to be on anti-anxiety medication long-term, I didn’t think I was one of those people.

Reader, I was one of those people. Without Lexapro, I was a mess. My anxiety was through the roof, and it also led to depressive symptoms. Things were so bad that when I called the pharmacy about the prescription my doctor had called in, and they said they may have to wait until Monday to fill it, I burst into tears on the phone. I am not a crier, and especially not on the phone with a stranger, but I was in such a heightened emotional state that waiting even a few more days to restart medication felt insurmountable.

This is when I recognized that generalized anxiety was always going to be a part of my life. I would have to take medication for the rest of my life to balance out my fucked-up brain chemistry. I would have to do things like go to therapy and get regular exercise to maintain my mental health. And I would have to live with the knowledge that sometimes I could do everything right and still, my brain could decide to trip up a neurotransmitter just for shits and giggles.

Last year, I switched my anxiety meds from Lexapro to Prozac. I was on a high dose of Lexapro, and my psychiatrist wanted me to try something else to see if it would help with my obsessive, spiraling thoughts. And while the weaning and ramping up process sucked, I am doing so much better on Prozac. It’s a reminder that my generalized anxiety disorder is not a static thing. It is a living, breathing part of me that I have had to monitor continuously for the last eight years (and really, longer than that since I have dealt with anxiety my whole life).

And that might be why this diagnosis didn’t scare me the way I expected. It’s not my first rodeo when it comes to chronic illness.

As I was driving home from my rheumatology appointment on Thursday, I had a lot to think about. My rheum confirmed that I have psoriatic arthritis and threw an insane amount of information at me: bloodwork numbers, medication options, what it means to be immunocompromised (once I’m on medication), follow-up testing plans, etc.

I wondered why I didn’t feel more overwhelmed by the reality of having a chronic condition that I will need to treat and monitor for the rest of my life. And maybe it’s simply that I have already been through this, and I have a good idea what to expect moving forward. Of course, these are two very different conditions, but the treatment isn’t too dissimilar: take my meds, monitor my symptoms, and report any oddities to my doctor. And just like with my anxiety condition, where engaging in self-care rituals helps me stay sane, I know that engaging in certain routines will help my PsA symptoms. Things like regular exercise, eating an anti-inflammatory diet, and getting enough sleep will all help how I feel in the long run.

Another reason I haven’t been too overwhelmed by my new diagnosis is that I was in so much pain and things felt so wrong in my body for months and months that it feels like relief to have an answer. I was trying everything to help with my pain and spending so much time Googling my symptoms. Nothing worked, and I was feeling so hopeless that I would ever feel good again. It is so wearying to be in constant pain with no end in sight. I was in my late thirties and struggling to climb stairs or even stand up without pain. None of that felt normal, but I had no idea what was wrong with my body.

I could always wish this had never happened to me, and sure, I definitely didn’t want to have another chronic condition to deal with. But I always find that kind of thinking to be unhelpful. It has happened, it is my reality. Treating my generalized anxiety symptoms for almost a full decade before this condition showed up has helped me understand what it means to have a chronic condition and the ups and downs that come along with it. The truth is this: I could wish it away, but what’s actually helpful is to accept the condition, feel grateful that there is a treatment to help me feel better, and do what I can to keep on top of my symptoms.

Not every day will be a good day (for example, I typed this up on Sunday and as I’m editing it on Monday, I’m not feeling as optimistic since I had a bad symptom day), but I know how to handle the ebb and flow of chronic illness. This isn’t my first rodeo, but hopefully, the Universe can now take a breather and leave me alone. Please and thank you!

Categories: Healthy Living

When Hard Work Pays Off

When I posted about my improved bloodwork numbers on Friday, a few people asked me to share the changes I made. And I am very happy to do so!

First, a disclaimer: I don’t know exactly what moved the needle. When I had bloodwork done in January, I was shocked by some of the numbers. The most troubling was my A1C at 6.6%. Anything over 6.4% is a marker for type 2 diabetes. My fasting glucose was also abnormal, indicating diabetes. But my doctor wasn’t keen to start me on medication, as I’m still quite young to have numbers this high without first trying lifestyle changes. So I left her office with a clear goal: clean up my eating and see if it helped.

Given that diabetes doesn’t run in my family, I felt confident that my elevated levels had to do with my unhealthy eating habits, not anything related to genetics. And that meant I had control. I have the power to make changes and improve my bloodwork. And I fucking did that. I am so proud of myself for making the necessary changes and so relieved that my hard work paid off in the form of vastly improved bloodwork.

Here’s how I did it.

First, I focused on the easiest swaps.

I knew I couldn’t completely overhaul my diet overnight. That would never work, and it wouldn’t be sustainable for the long term. Instead, I started with simple, low-effort changes that felt manageable. Here are some of the swaps I made:

White rice → brown or basmati rice
White bread (for toast) → sourdough bread
Instant oatmeal → lower sugar instant oatmeal (same brand and flavor, just half the sugar—and honestly, it tastes almost the same!)
Lessening the creamer I add to my morning coffee (from 3 tablespoons to 1.5 tablespoons)
Sugary Starbucks drinks → vanilla sweet cream cold brew (about 40g less sugar than a peppermint mocha and 20g less than a caramel macchiato, my former go-tos!)

These changes didn’t take much effort—just a willingness to try something new. But I knew if I really wanted to turn things around, I had to face my biggest challenge: my sweet tooth.

Second, I took charge of my sweet tooth.

Arguably, the biggest change I made over the last three months is significantly reducing the amount of soda I drink. I am a Dr. Pepper girlie through and through, and I do not like diet soda, and I was drinking it daily. I would buy those little, 7.5-ounce cans at the grocery store and made a rule with myself that I could only have one can a day, but there were more days than not when I would drink two or three (or four…) cans a day. If I needed a pick-me-up, if I wanted something sweet with dinner, or even if I was just thirsty, Dr. Pepper was my go-to.

Once I finished up the last pack of Dr. Pepper, I told myself I could no longer keep Dr. Pepper at home. I could have it at a restaurant or pick up a 20-ounce bottle at the grocery store, but it could no longer be a daily habit. This was so hard at first. Soda was such a crutch for me, but now that I’m three months in, I can happily say that I have gotten used to not having Dr. Pepper at home. I keep Waterloo seltzer on hand when I need something sweet and fizzy, and that seems to keep the cravings at bay.

Another big change I made was limiting the amount of sweets I keep at home. I used to have so many sweets on hand because I wanted to be able to satisfy my sweet tooth whenever a craving hit. Whether that’s a handful of Hershey kisses, a bowl of ice cream, or Little Debbies, I always kept an array of different options to choose from. Now, I only keep two treats in the house:

Dark chocolate candies for an after-lunch treat (dark chocolate is not something I crave, and it’s so rich that I’m not tempted to eat more than a couple of pieces at a time)
Ice cream sandwiches for an after-dinner dessert (ice cream doesn’t tempt me in the same way other sweets do, and ice cream sandwiches are lower in sugar compared to other comparable options)

I still let myself enjoy desserts when I want them. For example, my family does game night every other Saturday, and my mom and I trade off baking a dessert for it. If I want to go out for ice cream or order dessert with dinner, I do. I don’t believe in deprivation, and I knew I needed this to feel sustainable. Telling myself I had to turn down dessert every single time it was offered would have made me crazy.

I’d be lying if I said I never questioned whether I was doing enough. I wondered if I’d regret not cutting out sweets completely—if my A1C or fasting glucose didn’t improve because I hadn’t tried harder, would I feel like I brought this on myself? But at the same time, I had to be realistic. Giving up sweets entirely wasn’t something I wanted to do. How joyless would that be?! That’s not the kind of life I want to live, even if it meant I’d end up with a diabetes diagnosis.

Third, I read a book.

Tobia recommended the book Glucose Revolution to me many months ago when I talked about needing to lower my blood sugar. She read it to help with her migraines, and it’s actually has helpful insights for all kinds of health concerns. In fact, the reason the author went on this journey was to better understand her mental health and how food, and glucose in particular, could be affecting her life. It’s incredible to think about all the different ways food impacts the way our bodies and brains work!

I’m not someone who enjoys diet-related books, and I’ll admit the second half of the book lost me a bit. Some of the recommendations—like drinking vinegar before every meal, starting every meal with salad, and taking a walk after every meal—felt overwhelming. But overall, it was an eye-opening read that allowed me to better understand how my body works and the small changes I can make to lessen glucose spikes.

The first section of the book, which dives into the science behind the foods we eat, helped me understand what’s actually going on in my body. Here are some of the notes I took:

The primary sugar molecules in food are glucose, fructose, and sucrose (sucrose is a combination of glucose and fructose).
Whenever we see a glucose spike after eating something sweet (like a cupcake), there is a corresponding fructose spike that we cannot see. (Science hasn’t found a way to measure fructose spikes, only glucose spikes.) But a glucose spike after eating something starchy (like white rice) does not have the fructose spike and is therefore less harmful.
A glucose spike happens when we deliver glucose to our cells too quickly, and our cells cannot use it for energy. That’s when our body releases free radicals, which can be dangerous (some free radicals can lead to cancer). We can live with a moderate amount of free radicals, but too many of them and our body goes into oxidative stress (which drives heart diseases, diabetes, cognitive decline, and aging).
Fructose increases oxidative stress more than glucose alone. This is why a glucose spike with a sweet food is worse than one with a starchy food.
Insulin’s sole purpose is to stash excess glucose into storage units throughout the body to protect us from the free radicals getting it. Storage units include the liver (in which the glucose is turned into glycogen, which is not harmful to us) and muscles. Once those units are full, the glucose is turned into fat and stored in our fat reserves.
Fructose can ONLY be stored in our fat reserves.
The more glucose spikes we have, the more insulin that’s released in our bodies – chronically elevated levels of insulin are what bring about health problems.
Insulin decrease is the KEY FACTOR in losing weight.

So that’s a lot, and I will be honest: I am not a doctor or a scientist, so I am trusting that the author got the science right. If anything rings untrue, please let me know!

There were a few key things I put into practice after reading this book:

The proper order of eating food – To slow down the breakdown and absorption of glucose, there is a proper way to eat food. Start with fiber (veggies), move on to protein and fat, and finish with starches and sugar. Obviously, it’s not possible to eat this way for every meal, but I do try to follow this method for most meals. For example, most of my dinners combine a veggie (like green beans) with a protein (like chicken) and a starch (like rice). So I eat in that order to lessen the glucose spike I would have gotten if I ate my starch first.
Assessing food labels – Stop with those damn calories, people! Instead, consider the sugar, carbs, and fiber of a food to determine a food’s nutritional value. First, look at the ingredient list. If sugar is a top-five ingredient, then the food is likely to cause a glucose spike. Second, look at the nutrition facts. Ideally, a serving of food should have 1g of fiber for every 5g of carbs. So when you’re looking at nutrition facts, divide the number of carbs in the serving by 5. The fiber grams should have that amount of fiber. AKA, if the food has 25g of carbs, it should have 5g of fiber, or close to it.

I’m not perfect at following all of these practices, but what matters most to me is being more mindful of what I’m eating and how it might affect my blood sugar. Before making these changes, I couldn’t go more than a few hours without a blood sugar crash. I would get shaky, hot, and dizzy, and I needed to eat something immediately. It was really affecting my life. I had to constantly think about food: how to keep my blood sugar stable, what snacks I’d need, and what would happen if I couldn’t eat at a certain time. It was exhausting. I still experience hypoglycemia episodes from time to time, but they’ve become less frequent and when they do happen, they feel a lot less dramatic.

What’s Next?

Cleaning up my diet and trying to lower my blood sugar has been the driving force in my life over the past three months. And while I’m proud of the progress I’ve made (it’s so cool to see that my fasting glucose and my total cholesterol are normal!), I have more work to do. My A1C is still at the very top of the prediabetes range, and several of my cholesterol numbers remain high.

I want to build on the healthy habits I have implemented over the past three months. For example, there are some habits from Glucose Revolution that I’d like to implement just to see how they improve the way I feel:

Eating a salad before lunch and dinner – I need more veggies in my life and this is one way to make that happen. Plus, it would help lessen any glucose spikes.
Trying apple cider vinegar – My stepdad swears by the health benefits of ACV and he might be on to something. I’d like to give it a shot and see what happens.

I still need to make a lot more changes to the way I eat (hellllllo more fruits and veggies!), but I am proud of the changes I did make and that I did it in a way that feels sustainable and satisfying.

Categories: Healthy Living

Notes From My Dietician (v. 3)

It’s been almost five months since I last checked in with you all about what I’m learning (and unlearning) from my monthly dietician sessions. One of the big things that has happened in the past few months is that I got bloodwork done. I passed along the lab results to my dietician, so we can work together to figure out a plan to help improve my cholesterol, glucose, and A1C numbers. I am quickly veering into the territory of Type 2 diabetes, and I don’t want that. It feels less scary to clean up my diet with a dietician by my side—and a dietician who is anti-diet culture and wants to help me get to a better place without falling into my old patterns.

There was a week between when I got my lab results and when I spoke to my dietician, and in that time, I was spiraling. I had this mindset that I would have to be on a strict eating plan, one that would take the joy out of my life and that I wouldn’t be able to do for more than a few weeks. And then I’d fail, and feel terrible about myself, and beat myself up, and tell myself all kinds of mean things like how I’m never going to be healthy and going to die early from a heart attack or something. (I can be awful to myself sometimes. Truly.) I brought those concerns to my dietician, who is almost like a therapist to me at times and helps me work through some of my thought patterns when it relates to diet culture. She reminded me that we do not need to make this a big thing. (In fact, I don’t have to make any changes if I don’t want to. I mean, I do want to because I want to be healthy and feel better. But I am fully in control here.) We will not change how I eat in any huge, life-changing way. We will not be counting calories, macros, or points. Together, we’re going to look at how I’m eating and figure out where I can make small, sustainable changes.

I really love my dietician, you guys. She is such a warm, kind soul and makes me feel like I can make changes when it comes to the way I eat. And I have! And I will continue to do so.

Now, let’s get into some of the things I’m working on:

Eating healthy does not mean I’m engaging in diet culture

My dietician and I had a come-to-Jesus discussion about this idea. I was talking to her about how sometimes I resist snacks that would be deemed “healthy” for me, like apples with peanut butter, veggies with dip, string cheese, nuts, etc. There’s something inherently “diet-y” about those foods, and those are the foods I would tell myself I should eat to be a good person. (Because all thin people are inherently good people, right?) Two things happen in my head when I’m resisting like this:

I scoff at myself for thinking I enjoy eating this way – “you’ll be back to your old, unhealthy patterns soon enough,” my mean brain tells me
I feel like I am engaging in diet culture, abort abort abort!!!

When I brought up this idea to my dietician, she said something so profound that I immediately pulled out my phone and typed it into my Notes app: Diet culture is what gets in the way of me being true to myself.

Diet culture is not eating veggies and dip. Anti-diet culture is not snacking on chocolate. I engage in diet culture when I do things that are not in alignment with what I truly want in the moment. And sometimes, I do want a piece of fruit with string cheese. Other times, I want a bowl of chips with a few pieces of chocolate. What my dietician has been trying to drill into me, again and again, is this idea that I am in charge of my body and my needs. I don’t ever have to eat another vegetable if I don’t want to. But truly understanding my cravings and what gives me satisfaction, both from a physical and an emotional place, can be transformative in the way I approach my eating habits.

Making breakfast work for me

One of the things my dietician immediately pinpointed as an opportunity for change is breakfast. It’s the most important meal of the day, right? Breakfast can be a struggle for me because while I do usually wake up hungry and need something to eat pretty quickly after waking up, I do not gravitate toward heart-healthy, low-sugar breakfast options. The problem with breakfast is that I want it to be quick and easy, and I need variety. On a typical week, I would usually eat a healthier breakfast option Monday-Wednesday (think vanilla Greek yogurt with fresh strawberries and granola) and then opt for breakfasts that were satisfying at the moment but not all that filling overall, like sugary cereal (Cinnamon Toast Crunch is a fave!), McDonald’s Sausage McMuffins, Starbucks breakfast sandwiches, etc. These are breakfast options that I can have all of the time if I want, but I think they would be so much more satisfying if they weren’t a regular occurrence in my diet.

So my dietician and I got to work. We first decided that I needed to have a few options at my disposal because I crave variety, and then we figured out what options would be Stephany-proof (aka, I wouldn’t find an excuse for why I couldn’t have it for breakfast). We settled on:

Apple cinnamon instant oatmeal – it’s delicious and two little packets are very satisfying
Jimmy Dean Delights English Muffin sandwiches – this is a healthier version of their products with turkey sausage and egg whites
Frosted Mini-Wheats cereal – adds a little more fiber/protein to my breakfast

I cycle through these options throughout the week so I always have something different to enjoy each morning, which I really like. Eventually, I would like to find some less sugary options, but we’re taking baby steps here.

Frozen meal lunches

Figuring out lunch has been an ongoing struggle for me, way back to the days I worked in an office. I don’t like salads or sandwiches or soups, which really limits my lunch choices. So we’ve been working on options for me—we started with the idea of snack lunches (turkey roll-ups, cheese and crackers, veggies and dip, etc.) and then I was trying leftovers for a while but that could quickly fall apart if I didn’t meal plan correctly. During my most recent appointment, my dietician asked me what I wanted from lunch. What, specifically, was I looking for? I had to think about this for a while! What would make lunchtime satisfying for me? And what was it about the other lunch options I craved (like pizza rolls) that were appealing to me? I came up with three characteristics:

quick
warm
lots of variety

And that’s when she brought up frozen meals. They’re warm, something I can easily zap in the microwave, and I can literally choose from dozens of options every week. Genius! Of course, I was a little hesitant about this suggestion because I used to eat frozen meals all the time… but I would try to find the healthiest meal in the freezer and they never filled me up for very long. Think: Healthy Choice and Lean Cuisine. I’m not about that diet lifestyle anymore. But we talked it over and my dietician was very quick to suggest that I have two of those meals for lunch or supplement the frozen meal with something else, like veggies, rice, fruit, etc. (Side note: The first time my dietician suggested eating a bigger portion of something to make it more filling, like two string cheeses rather than one, my mind was blown. Diet culture and its tiny portion sizes have really broken my brain!)

Since then, I’ve been having about two of these frozen meals weekly with a big bowl of veggies (and filling out the rest of the week with dinner leftovers). It’s very satisfying! And it’s been fun to peruse the freezer aisle and pick out some yummy choices every week. So far, I’m a huge fan of Amy’s pesto tortellini bowl and this smokehouse meat and potatoes meal from Devour. Yum, yum!

What’s a go-to breakfast for you?

Categories: Healthy Living

Notes From My Dietician (v. 2)

Note: I’m talking about diets, diet culture, and food in this post. If those things are triggering for you, please take care and exit from this post. <3

Since I wrote my last Note From My Dietician post, I have had two more sessions with my dietician. I feel like I’ve had a lot of breakthroughs from these sessions. There is so much about diet culture that I am unlearning, still, even though I feel like I’ve been doing that for years now. But aren’t we all? Dieting and the thin ideal are such an ingrained part of our society, and often, we don’t even realize we’re falling back onto those same patterns until someone else says something (like my dietician telling me that Dr. Pepper is not a “reward” for drinking water; I’m allowed to have Dr. Pepper whenever I want).

So, let’s talk about what my dietician and I have been working on lately, shall we?

Hunger Signals

I really struggle with paying attention to my hunger signals and doing something about them. When you’re dieting, hunger signals don’t really mean much. Sure, you can eat a snack if you have the calories/points/macros available, but if you don’t, you just gotta be hungry until it’s time for your next meal. I remember feeling very smug and satisfied when I went to bed hungry because that meant I was eating below what my body was used to, which was a good thing. That’s the whole point of dieting, isn’t it? To force our bodies to endure less calories so we lose weight.

But we need to pay attention to our hunger signals! And we need to take action when hunger hits. I’ve been talking about my hunger signals with my dietician a lot because I am not great at listening to them. Sometimes it’s almost as if I am trying to punish my body for being hungry. “I just fed you! You shouldn’t be hungry so soon!” But if I’m hungry, that’s a sign I need to eat. It could also be a sign that I’m not eating enough during my meals—perhaps I need more protein in the morning or to eat a bigger lunch. But these solutions to being hungry do not entail not eating because they don’t fit into my diet plan. They are all about eating and eating more because that’s what my body is telling me it needs, and I need to honor that.

Figuring Out Snacks

I have been struggling with my snack routine. This is another part of unlearning diet culture because I’m so stuck in the mode of thinking that my snacks must be super-duper healthy: string cheese and nuts, apples and peanut butter, Greek yogurt, etc. Over the past few months, though, I have started to realize that one of the reasons I’m not eating when I’m hungry is because I am so uninspired by my snacks. And when I’m hungry but what’s in my house isn’t something I want to eat? I just won’t eat. I’m like that stubborn three-year-old who is like “but I’m not huuuuuungry for aaaaaapples” while crying on the floor and wailing about being hungry.

Thankfully, I’m the adult here and I get to choose the snacks I want. My dietician and I brainstormed some fun snack ideas that I could try, like chips and salsa, Teddy Grahams with fruit, string cheese and chocolate-covered pomegranates. I could even make a Little Debbie dessert part of my snack routine—she just encouraged me to pair it with something that had protein or healthy fats, which is only to make sure my blood sugar doesn’t spike from this snack. It’s not about only eating the “healthy” stuff (because food does not hold moral values; there are no good or bad foods); it’s about eating in a way that feels satisfying to me and making sure it aligns with my goals of keeping my blood sugar numbers and cholesterol in a normal range.

Quick & Easy Meals

I am the queen of pizza and ordering out. I don’t love cooking (especially cooking for one) and I can find every excuse in the book not to do it. And, of course, with my diet culture mindset, I always feel like I need to be cooking elaborate healthy meals that include lean meats, perfectly roasted veggies, and healthy carbs. But my dietician once again showed me that I’m making this way more complicated than it has to be. I need to stop fighting against my tendencies and learn to work with them.

So, I don’t love cooking and prefer very easy meals? Let’s try frozen chicken nuggets, a veggie that can be heated up in a saucepan, and rice that can be nuked in the microwave. Let’s try breakfast for dinner: scrambled eggs, toast, and sausage. Let’s try a frozen skillet meal that I can just pour into a pan and let cook up. It doesn’t need to look a certain way, just because this is how I view it in my head. The most important thing is that it’s something I will enjoy and will provide the balanced meal I need.

(And if I do need to blow off my dinner plans for a night and order takeout? I can. It’s not a moral failing to do so.)

Are you in tune with your hunger cues?

Categories: Healthy Living

Notes From My Dietician (v. 1)

Because many of you expressed interest in learning more about working with a dietician, I have decided to start a new series called, Notes From My Dietician. Here, I’ll be talking about what I’ve been working on and learning from my dietician. I’m not going to talk about weight loss here because that’s not the reason I’m seeing a dietician. Instead, I’m going to talk about how I’m slowly changing my diet to make sure that the next time I get blood work done, I have sparkling numbers and my risk of heart disease, high cholesterol, and pre-diabetes is going down.

I started seeing a dietician in early August (the reason behind this decision can be found here). I was very careful in choosing a dietician, as I wanted someone who wouldn’t put me on a very restrictive diet and who believed in the concept of Health At Every Size. Thankfully, when perusing dieticians who accepted my insurance, I found a nutrition practice that had great bios of all of their practitioners, and through that, I was able to find someone whose bio really spoke to me. Here are some of the gems:

recognizes that you are the expert of your body and experiences
approach combines science with personal sustainability, satisfaction, and cultural preferences
enjoys helping folks improve their relationship with food

I was extremely lucky to have found an excellent dietician from the outset. This journey is intensely personal and can bring up a lot of vulnerabilities and triggers, which is why many of us stay away from dietician services in the first place. I can already be my own worst enemy; I don’t need someone else to beat me up, too.

My dietician is supportive and passionate and caring. In our first meeting, we talked extensively about how to make sure this journey is a positive, sustainable one for me. It doesn’t have to be scary or hard or overwhelming. I can make small changes, expect to have days when I don’t eat the way I wanted to, and trust myself throughout the process. She stresses the importance of listening to my body and getting a better understanding of how I’m feeling after eating certain foods, as well as how my hunger levels shift throughout the day. She doesn’t talk about “good foods” and “bad foods.” It’s all about my own food journey and eating things that are satisfying but also make my body feel well-nourished and happy. And that journey looks vastly different from person to person.

She’s also a big fan of making small changes. For example, during our appointment last week, we talked about my soda habit. I mentioned that I could stop buying soda at the grocery store so that I wouldn’t have it at home to “tempt” me. Honestly, I didn’t want to do that (I drink soda because I love the taste of it! It brings me happiness!) but wanted to impress my dietician with my dedication to my healthy living journey. Her response surprised me, however. “Don’t you think that’s a drastic change to make? Can we think about a smaller step you could take here?” Making big, sweeping changes to my diet isn’t helpful. Taking a habit I have (drinking soda) and unlearning the behaviors I have around them happens one small step at a time.

So that’s all about my dietician and the way we’re working together. What have I learned about healthy eating habits? Let’s discuss:

My eating plan

One of the first things my dietician and I worked on was an eating plan that makes sense for my life and my hunger cues. I usually wake up hungry and need to eat frequently throughout the morning, otherwise, I deal with low blood sugar. In the afternoons, my blood sugar stabilizes for the most part but I still get hungry and could use a good, protein-heavy snack to carry me through to dinnertime. Here’s what we decided on:

6ish: Piece of fruit if I’m working out first thing in the morning, which is currently a little bowl of grapes
7:30am: Breakfast. I have eggs and toast with coffee (three eggs if I’m scrambling them, two eggs if I’m frying them). If I don’t work out in the morning, I’ll also have fruit with breakfast.
10:00-10:30am: Morning snack. Currently, this is string cheese and a pack of nuts.
12:00pm: Lunch. I’ve been having a bowl of tuna fish with mayo and potato chips. I’m getting very sick of this lunch, though, so this is changing. (More on that below.)
2:30-3:00pm: Afternoon snack. I’ve been really bad at remembering to have this snack, although I definitely need it. When I do have an afternoon snack, it’s Greek yogurt and fruit.
7:00ish: Dinner. This is very flexible right now. It could be frozen pizza or homemade nachos or chicken with veggies.
8:30ish: Dessert, if needed. (I don’t always want dessert after dinner, but I keep a carton of ice cream in the freezer for my after-dinner dessert.)

Snack plate lunches

I have always struggled when it comes to lunch. I need a big, filling lunch but I never know what that should be. I don’t like salad (at least, salad I make myself; salad from a restaurant is another story). I don’t really want to make a sandwich every day. And I can easily grow tired of what I’m eating, so I need to be able to switch up my lunch options frequently.

At our last meeting, my dietician and I brainstormed about lunches and we decided that snack plate lunches are the way to go for me. This way, I can mix and match my lunch options for what I’m craving each week. Each snack plate should have protein, starch, fruit, and veggies. For example, I can have rolled-up turkey slices, hard-boiled eggs, pita chips with hummus, roasted broccoli, and a fruit cup. Or I can have rotisserie chicken, cheese and crackers, brown rice, olives, and strawberries.

The point is that I can make my lunch whatever I want it to be, and it doesn’t have to all feel like it goes together perfectly. I often fall into the trap of thinking that my food must be packaged in such a way that it will look like the perfect Instagram picture, but the reality is that it can look like a mess, and as long as it is satisfying and filling to me, and is providing me with the right nutrients, that’s all that matters.

Increasing my water intake

I constantly struggle with drinking water, which is well-documented on this blog. It’s something I want to be better about, but it’s a weakness. Plus, I only like to drink water that is ice cold. Room temperature water is so blech to me.

So, I was fairly shocked when my dietician suggested seltzer water like LaCroix. Wait, what? Isn’t that cheating? It’s not truly hydrating, is it? But nope, it’s just water with bubbles and a bit of flavor! It counts as water and hydration.

Mind-blowing to me. You mean I can drink a can of LaCroix and count it towards my water intake for the day?! I truly had no idea!

I still want to keep up with my water drinking, but knowing I can crack open a LaCroix when I need the hydration but I’m not in the mood for plain water has opened up my world. A Shot of Joy is also a good for of hydration and it comes with multiple health benefits. You can also look into immunity intravenous therapy like this IV therapy – Chi-Ma Med Spa via experts that do functional medicine in Kansas City, MO and other areas.

I have made a slew of other changes to my diet, but again, we’re taking things SLOW. Even getting one serving of fruit per day is a win, as I used to go many, many days in a row without anything. Cooking myself one meal a week that fulfills my nutritional needs is a win. Frozen pizza, soda, and chocolate are still part of my diet, and they likely will remain that way because I like all of those things and I’m not into deprivation diets anymore. But one night of pizza per week instead of multiple nights of pizza? That’s a win.

It’s about the small steps that push me in the right direction.