I’m closing in on my third week on Weight Watchers. To date, I’ve lost 3.4 pounds. I would love to lose 1.6 pounds this week to bring my total to 5 pounds in THREE weeks. That would be amazing.

But if I only lose 1 pound, or even just half a pound, I’ll be OK with it. And it all comes down to control.

For the first time in years, I feel in control. I don’t feel like I’m depriving myself and I don’t feel like I have to be so incredibly careful with what I eat. I feel free, but still in control. I drink water, even though I don’t really like it. I sweat it out at the gym, even though I’d much rather lay around and read in my bed. I keep my portions sizes low and measure out everything, even as I laugh at how much I thought a serving of chicken was. (Seriously, a serving is small!)

I feel like I did in 2007, when I lost tons of weight and felt great about myself. My past weight loss attempts have been like grasping at straws. I wasn’t in the right mindframe to lose weight then. I am now. I’m scared to be a girl people look at as obese. I want to get healthy and thin before I have one store to shop in and cannot even walk up a flight of stairs before getting winded.

This control feels good. I know what I’m eating and I’m not tempted to cheat. I have my breakfast lined up, my lunch lined up, and dinner has become fun to plan. Since my mom is doing it, too, (she’s lost 7 pounds in 2 weeks!) it’s been so much easier to plan and stay in control. We’re both in this together and have been scouring recipe cookbooks and websites to find new, healthy recipes to try.

And while I’m not doing everything right, I’m doing the best I can right now. I know I need to cut down on my snacking, drink more water, get in higher-intensity workouts, and find more filling breakfast options and lunch options. But I’m happy with the progress I’ve made so far. I’m happy with the way I feel. I’m happy that I can turn down donuts and brownies without even blinking.

And today I gave in to a temptation. We had pizza at work. I had 2 of the smallest slices I could find and I don’t regret it. It was a craving, I had it, I counted the points for it, and I’ve moved on. This is why I love the Weight Watchers program. It’s not about depriving, it’s about living healthier. Turning down temptations we don’t really need, learning about hunger signals and boredom signals, using correct portion sizes, and tracking what we eat. While it’s not impossible to lose weight without tracking, it’s easier and a better indicator of what you’re eating and what nutrients you’re not getting enough of.

I know I’m going to encounter plateaus. I know I’m going to have weeks where it becomes a chore to exercise and eat healthy. But the feeling of accomplishment this program has been bringing me is a billion times better than any brownie could taste. And I found a weight-loss buddy to check in with and call when those cookies seem to be calling my name. We text each other what we ate every night and give each other encouragement and praise. It’s something that’s really keeping me going.

What about you? Do you feel in control of your eating habits right now? When was the last time you felt completely out of control?

(Yep. I changed the name of this weekly feature. Go with it.)

Remember two weeks ago, when I said I was going to lose weight on my own by becoming a healthier person? And I was going to take small steps but didn’t feel like counting calories? Remember that?

Well, I lied.

Because after a week and a half of doing absolutely nothing right and feeling like an absolute failure and waste of space, I woke up bright and early on Sunday morning to attend a Weight Watchers meeting.

My mom had decided, after gaining some of her weight back over the holidays, decided she had to go back because it’s a program that works. And as I sat on my couch on Saturday, drinking my second can of Coke before 2 p.m., I knew I needed a kick in the pants. I needed something that would give me the motivation I needed to lose weight and learn how to eat healthier.

And when I thought about it, there has been one time in my life where I have been successful at weight loss. It was in 2007 and I was attending Weight Watchers. I lost 20 pounds, dropped from a size 8 to a size 2, and felt so great about myself.

Amber also left a comment on that blog posting that stuck with me. She said: “You know, it takes TIME to make those healthy habits stick. When I first lost weight in the spring of 2008 I did it by counting calories. It’s just now, almost 2 years later, that I’m finally at a place where I can eat intuitively and not have to worry about tracking all my food!” And she’s right. It does take time and if I knew how to do it on my own, I wouldn’t find myself in this position.

So I’m back and I’m not going to worry about all the other times I’ve failed. I’m going to focus on this time. My mom re-joined, too, and we’re both on board with eating healthier, being more active, and supporting each other. I’m not going to beat myself up if I have a bad day or even a bad week. This time will be different.

It’s funny but this week I have felt the most in control of my eating habits this week, more than I ever have this entire year. I feel more on track now that I have to count every morsel of food that goes into my mouth and exercise regularly. I’ve been drinking more water than I ever have and eating pretty well. Not perfect, but better than before. So I guess this is what I needed to kick-start my new, healthy life.

It’s going to work this time. It has to.

A few weeks ago, I started a weight loss blog. And then I found out how hard it is to maintain two blogs. (And for anyone who can do this, I applaud you.) So I’m in the process of shutting down that blog and have introduced Trim Thursdays here at Stephany Writes! Catchy, huh? (No?)

Anyway, I want to talk a little about my approach to weight loss this time around. In the past I’ve tried a few different diets. I’ve tried the old-fashioned way of counting calories and exercising, which lasted for a few weeks. I’ve tried the Slim Fast diet but I could never stomach the shakes. They just taste plain nasty to me! And I’ve tried Weight Watchers, something I was fairly successful at.

In 2007, I tried a combination of counting calories and Weight Watchers and lost close to 20 pounds in 6 months. But when my schedule got super busy and chaotic, all my weight loss goals fell to the wayside and I gained those 20 pounds back – plus some more!

To say the least, I’m a little fed-up with dieting. I’m sick and tired of following some diet regime and failing after a few weeks. I don’t want to feel like a failure anymore.

So I’m taking a different approach to my weight loss this time around.

I’m not counting calories. I’m counting exercise points. I’m not writing down every little thing I put in my mouth. I’m not joining a weight loss support group. I’m not restricting myself.

I’m choosing instead to live a healthier lifestyle. And while I’m not trying to fault anyone who is doing the above, it’s just not for me. I’ve been there, I’ve done that, and I’ve failed miserably. Instead, I’m just going to think like a healthy person.

I’m going to watch what I put in my mouth and start cooking and preparing more healthier foods. I’m going to see what foods fuel me through the day and which ones leave me lethargic and sleepy by mid-afternoon. I’m going to incorporate more water, more fruits, more veggies, and more lean protein in my diet. I’m going to stay away as best I can from soda, greasy chips, and sugary foods.

I’m going to aim for 3-4 days of exercise, at least to start with. I’m going to train for a 5K and start lifting weights. I’m going to run a few races this year and prepare to run a half-marathon in 2011. I’m going to stop making excuses of why I can’t exercise and just get out there and do it! Because I know I’ll feel better if I do.

I’m going to stop weighing myself every week. Once a month, I’ll step on the scale to weigh myself. And losing even a pound will be considered a victory – because that’s one pound I didn’t gain that month.

My weight loss will be slow. It won’t come off like a Biggest Loser contestant. It may take them one week to lose 10 pounds, and it may take me 5 months to lose 10 pounds. But this is my weight loss and my approach to healthy living.

While the weight loss is great, I just want to be healthier. I want to feel lighter and more fit. If I’m 10 pounds overweight but can run a 5K in under 30 minutes, that means so much more to me than weight loss.

It’s a different approach, and maybe one you’re not taking. But I think it’s the only way I can be happy with myself, my life, and my body if I do it this way.

Week #2 on the program didn’t fare so well. I actually gained half a pound. I knew a 3-lb weight loss was too good to be true! I’m not sure if the “second week curse” applies to normal folk as well as Biggest Loser contestants, but I’m using it for the reasoning behind my weight gain!

Other factors were at play:
1. I didn’t track well. In fact, the first time I tracked was on Monday, four days behind. Not good. I had to try and think back to what I ate and I’m sure I miscounted or forgot food.
2. I didn’t use up all of my extra points. While many people don’t even touch these beautiful lifesavers, my mom found out in her go-around with Weight Watchers that she lost more weight when she used up all her extra points. I think I still had around 15 or so at the end of the week.
3. I didn’t eat enough, and what I did eat wasn’t “filling foods”. Filling foods is the cornerstone of Weight Watcher’s Momentum plan, in which if we eat more foods that are filling, we are less likely to snack on junk. I mainly snacked on junk.
4. I weighed in a day earlier! Hey, this could be it! I’ve been a Thursday weigh-in girl for a few years now so weighing in on a Wednesday may have messed with my system. (Although we’re thinking of switching to Wednesday meetings now. I love the leader we had!)
5. I didn’t eat breakfast all week, which has always been a problem for me. I’m not a breakfast eater. Even though I get hungry for breakfast, it’s never anything more than a granola bar. I read an article in Shape magazine that breakfast should actually be our biggest meal of the day which makes total sense. Dinner should be our smallest meal, when it’s usually our biggest. What we eat for breakfast will fuel us for the rest of the day. Dinner is just fueling us as we wind down for the day and hit the hay.

I’m really going to try to track a lot better this week. I’ve been tracking all of today and marking off any healthy guidelines I make.

I also need to start eating breakfast, obviously. This is my other goal I’m working on this week. I want foods that are high in fiber and protein. So I’ve made a short list of some breakfast items I’d like:
1. Whole-wheat bread, toasted, with peanut butter
2. A hard-boiled egg, without the yolk
3. String cheese

I don’t have time to sit down and eat, even when I’m at work. I need something I can make and eat on the way to work or take nibbles at when I am at work. These three options are my best bet, but I thought some of my lovely blog readers could help me out.

What do you eat for breakfast? What kinds of things could I add onto my list?