Healthy Living

46 Days

It wasn’t until the day before Lent began that I decided what I wanted to give up. I hadn’t even been really thinking about giving up something for Lent because I’m not Catholic and every other time I’ve tried giving something up, I’ve failed miserably.

But the night before, I was sitting in the living room chatting with my mom and I just decided: I would give up sweets at work, and I would also give up soda (all the time, not just at work).

I am so proud to say that I made it through the entire Lenten season without drinking soda or eating sweets at work. Giving up sweets at work wasn’t too much of a struggle. I set up my work-from-home days so I wasn’t in the office on the days when we had cake for birthdays (something we do once a month), and I stayed far, far away from all my coworkers who have candy jars on their desks. (And, thankfully, I think there were only a handful of times when someone brought in a treat to share. I just stayed out of the kitchen until they were gone!)

Giving up soda, though… was so, so tough. I remember when I gave up soda in 2013 for 30 days that once I got over the hump of caffeine withdrawal and cravings, I was fine. No such thing happened this time around. While I didn’t go through caffeine withdrawal (since giving up soda the first time around, I don’t drink it nearly enough to be addicted to the caffeine), the cravings did. not. stop.

I really wanted to come to the end of Lent and feel as if I could cut soda out of my life completely. That was my ultimate goal. But I discovered through this journey that I derive joy from soda. And I know that’s maybe not a good thing, but it’s true. I just enjoy the taste of an ice-cold Dr. Pepper. It makes me happy. That’s what I kept realizing every time a craving hit me – I missed the joy and happiness that Dr. Pepper brings me.

So, I craved soda almost every single day. And goddddd, it was so hard to make it through those cravings. I couldn’t think of making it through six weeks without soda. I had to take it one day at a time. I just had to make it through Monday or Friday or Sunday. That was the only way I made it through the cravings because I honestly wanted to give up within the first week.

I am so proud of myself for not giving in. Because usually, I am the type to give in. Life is too short to not eat/drink/do the things you want, right? Well, sometimes. And sometimes, there’s no more empowering feeling than not giving in. To shutting down the cravings. To telling yourself no.

It’s funny how you don’t really know how capable and strong you are until you give yourself the chance to be that way. I think that’s what I learned the most from these past 46 days. I learned that I can be strong and I can see myself through a challenge, even when it’s so hard that I don’t know if I can make it through the next moment.

I guess it’s a good metaphor for life. Because life gets hard. And you have to keep going on. You have to make it through the difficult moments… the moments when you don’t think you can walk a single step further. But you do. Somehow, you do. And that’s the beauty of life.

Categories: Healthy Living

Do What You Love

Since the beginning of January, I’ve been training (half-heartedly, let’s be honest) to run a 5k at the end of March (this upcoming Saturday!) It really was a spur-of-the-moment decision to sign up for this race because I’ve been steadfast in my belief that running is not for me. At the time I signed up, I was in a very confusing place and I think I needed an escape. And this 5k was exactly the escape I needed because it’s in Savannah. (And maybe that’s the real reason I signed up – a chance to return to Savannah!)

But I plopped down the money for the race, my mom reserved the hotel, and we asked for time off from work. We were going to travel to Savannah just to run a 5k. Yep, yep, yep!

It’s been two-and-a-half months now, and I’ve been training. Somewhat. I started by using the Couch-to-5k program, but I wasn’t liking it. Then, I tried forcing myself to run as far as I could at one time and running a little bit farther each subsequent run. But that just made me hate my life. Then, I tried an interval running program where I would run for 1/4 a mile, walk 1/4 a mile, run 1/4 a mile, walk 1/4 a mile, and so on and so forth.

The interval training has been working the best for me. It pushes me, it makes me feel strong, and it’s giving me confidence that maybe race day won’t be so miserable.

I know I won’t get any sort of personal record on Saturday. I am hoping to finish in under 45 minutes, which yes, is very slow, but that feels doable for me. I am not a fast runner, nor am I a fast walker. All I am hoping is that I enjoy myself, that I try my best, and don’t beat myself up if I don’t make the 45-minute goal time.

Throughout training for a 5k, though, it has really been eye-opening for me to discover that, as much as I think I want to be a runner, it’s not something I love. Plain and simple. I never look forward to my runs, I grumble and whine during my runs, and I’m usually left wishing I had tried harder at the end of my runs. It’s just not fun for me.

To be honest, I think the reason why I want to become a runner is because it’s another thing to share with my mom. She’s the real runner in the family, my inspiring two-time marathoner. And though we have just about everything in the world in common, I think I just have to accept that we won’t have this. This hobby which means so much to her, is something that makes me miserable.

But through this realization, and through this time of training for a race, I’ve discovered that exercise should be fun. This is something we do because we want to do it. Yes, of course, it’s something we all should be doing for our health, but honestly, it’s not something we have to do. It’s optional. (A highly suggested optional thing, but optional nonetheless.) So, this optional activity should be fun. It should make us feel good. For me, running does not do that. But other workouts? Oh, yes. They get me excited, they make me feel awesome, and they are just plain fun. (Sometimes. Not everything is fun all the time.)

Here are my workout loves:

Spinning

I love spinning, and I used to do it all the time when I had a gym membership. It’s such a great workout, and it pushes me way past my comfort zone. But I have a gym at my apartment, so it’s hard to cough up a monthly membership fee. That said, we have LA Fitness locations throughout St. Pete and Tampa, all of which offer cycling classes that fit perfectly with my schedule, and it’s only $30 a month. I am seriously considering membership there if only to have access to spin whenever I want.

Cardio machines at my apartment gym

My apartment gym is tiny, but it has worked for my needs for the past few years. The gym consists of free weights, weight machines, two treadmills, two ellipticals, and a stationary bike. I really love jumping on a cardio machine for a workout because I can zone out and go. (Bonus: my apartment gym has Wi-Fi, so I can watch Netflix while I work out, too.) Plus, it’s super convenient because it’s a 24/7 gym and just steps away from my apartment.

Workout DVDs

Well, not just any workout DVDs. I’m talking Jillian Michaels, my favorite being Ripped in 30. Jillian Michaels is a tough trainer, and her DVDs absolutely crush me. I struggle through them, even doing modifications, but I love them because they combine strength, cardio, and ab work into a quick 30-minute program. And there’s nothing like seeing improvements in your fitness level and/or body!

Circuit training

Pinterest is my go-to resource for finding at-home circuit training workouts to complete. I have a bunch saved on my workout board, and I think I’ve tried each of them at least once. I get bored very easily with workouts, so I constantly need to find new and interesting workouts to try. I love doing a circuit workout when I don’t feel like walking over to the gym, but I still want to get my heart pumping. And I love doing these at home because I can go at my own pace. Oh! And another great resource for circuit training is the Nike Training Club, which is an app. The workouts are a little too advanced for my fitness level, but I wanted to mention them to anyone looking to amp up their workouts.

Strength training

My favorite way to work out, hands down. I love strength training. It feels so good! It makes me feel strong and powerful and capable, and nothing beats that muscle soreness after a good strength training workout. I call it “toilet sore” because it hurts just to sit on the toilet. Ha. I really, really want to work strength training back into my normal workout regime again. I miss it so much!

So, those are my workout loves! It’s difficult to figure out what should take precedence because I’m not someone who wants to work out two hours a day, every day. For me, 30 minutes on weekdays and an hour on weekends are what I commit to because I just really treasure my time spent on the couch. 😉 I know my limits and I know how much time I’m willing to put into working out.

I’m spending this week in race training mode, but once next week rolls around, I’m switching things up dramatically! Most likely, I won’t be joining a gym anytime soon (especially because, at LA Fitness, there’s a $100 sign-up fee, ugh), but I have plenty of resources at my disposal for other workouts, like cardio machines, strength training, and workout DVDs. My plan, most likely, is to start using Ripped in 30 for weekday workouts and use my weekends for longer workouts, like 30 minutes on the elliptical and then 15-30 minutes of strength training.

That’s the whole key to this life thing, you know? Do what you love. Push yourself and try new things, but if you don’t love that new thing? Stop doing that thing. Find what you love, and embrace it. Don’t apologize for it. I am just not a runner. I can safely say I have tried to become a runner, and it just is not a workout that suits my personality or my desires. But there are workouts I do love, and I want to spend more time on those workouts than on something that doesn’t make me feel good.

What is your #1 workout love? What’s one workout program you haven’t tried yet, but want to? For me, I really want to try yoga because I’m sure it would do wonders for my mental state (ha), but I’m overweight and not very bendy, so I just feel like it would be a frustrating workout for me! (Can you tell I’m somewhat of a perfectionist? Ha.)

Categories: Healthy Living

Weekly Weigh-In #7

Well, last week’s weigh-in post was a bit of a downer, wasn’t it? It was cathartic to write a post like that, though it wasn’t entirely easy to read. But it felt good to get my feelings down and sort through some of the emotions I have regarding losing weight and eating healthier. Because this ish is hard. It’s really, really hard. I didn’t grow up in a household that encouraged healthy living and exercise. I grew up on processed foods, sugary drinks, nightly desserts, and many a fast food visit. The only time I exercised was for P.E. or gym class, and I don’t think I ever really started exercising regularly until college.

It’s difficult to switch your mindset, but I know it’s possible. And sometimes, things will go well and sometimes, things will be really, really hard. But that’s the whole point of change: living in the uncomfortable until it starts becoming comfortable.

There’s a great quote that I love that says, “If you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up.” And how true is that? I’ve been at this “beginning” of my healthy living journey for years because I keep stopping and starting, over and over again. It’s not that I don’t want to live healthily or that it’s not the “right time,” or anything like that. It’s just that living in the uncomfortable is weird and difficult and annoying. And it’s hard to sit in that uncomfortableness all the time.

So I spent a lot of time thinking this past week about what I want my healthy living journey to look like. What do I need to do to help me succeed? I was writing an article for work on habits and came across this amazing article from Zen Habits called “The Four Habits that Form Habits.” It talks about the four habits we need to put into place in order to actually form habits. There was one sentence that stuck out to me and it said, actually doing the habit is much more important than how you do it.

He suggests we start as small as possible. For example, if you want to get into a regular habit of exercise, simply exercise for two minutes a day. It sounds silly, doesn’t it? You’re not going to get any results from that! But the point is not results, the point is building a habit. And building a habit means building a foundation. And because exercising for two minutes a day is so laughably easy, we can do it without any issues. Then, you gradually work your way up as the weeks progress to where 30 minutes of exercise a day is a natural habit in your life.

Another important point the article brought up was to enjoy forming your habit. Have fun with it! “Your new habit isn’t some sort of sacrifice, some sort of chore you need to get through to get to a better life. Your new habit is your better life.”

Powerful.

In this vein, I decided that I needed to stop worrying so much about the scale and getting things perfect and losing x amount of weight in x amount of time. Instead, I need to focus on building healthy habits. Sure, it might mean it takes me muuuuch longer to lose weight, but it’s not like the way I’ve been doing currently is helping me see results. There’s no time limit on my goal. I want to take small steps to build healthy habits, starting small and savoring the journey.

So I made a decision on three habits I want to incorporate into my life. Sure, this isn’t starting as small as the article states but I do have a base for my healthy living and fitness, and this feels right for me. My goals are to exercise for 30 minutes five days a week, to drink at least 32 oz of water a day, and to only have dessert once a day.

I started implementing these habits this week and I didn’t do as awesome as I hoped, but I’m not kicking myself for failing. Every day is a new day to get it right. I did manage to drink 32 oz of water every day, which I’m very happy about because drinking more water has been a goal I’ve been trying to achieve for a long time. It may not seem like much, but it’s enough that it feels a bit challenging but still doable. (The real achievement came from doing this on the weekends since I rarely even drink an ounce of water on the weekends!)

I only managed three days of exercise, but I do have a good excuse for that. On Friday, I actually twisted my ankle (the same ankle I’ve broken twice before) and I spent Friday and Saturday resting, icing, and elevating my ankle. Luckily, it’s healing fine and I was able to work out on Sunday without any pain.

As for dessert, weeeellll. That’s been a bit of an issue so far. I know the easiest thing would be to not buy anything dessert-like when I buy my groceries, which was something I was doing. But then I started buying a bag of Dove chocolates and bringing a handful to work, then having a handful after dinner, and it just hasn’t been great. This is a major work in progress.

I’ve also decided to change from weighing myself once a week to weighing myself once a month. This will be a challenge, but I think it will be good for me. It allows me to simply focus on building healthy habits without worrying about how it affects my weight. I want to do this for the overall health and wellness aspect, not on my results on the scale. (Well, I am also doing it to lose weight, of course, but I don’t want that to be my sole reason for building healthy habits.)

This means I’m also not sure what to do about these weigh-in posts, though I do like the accountability of them. And I like talking about health and fitness. I think I am going to continue to do them, as long as I have things to write about. We’ll see how it goes.

In any event, I am feeling much better about this new plan and more motivated to succeed because I’m doing it for me, to build stronger habits, and to find my healthy living happy place.

Are you working on any healthy living goals currently?

Categories: Healthy Living

Weekly Weigh-In #6

Here’s the week when I regret starting this series because oh, my goodness, I am not doing well with healthy living lately. I don’t have much to say for myself, other than laziness, falling back on old habits, and eating healthy just doesn’t seem all that interesting to me right now.

This week was not a great week for me. I mean, in all other aspects of my life, it was. Work was fine. Personal life, fine. I slept well. But I just didn’t feel like eating healthy. Or exercising. Or any of that. I guess I’m just having a really hard time getting back on track after being on vacation.

I’m participating in a DietBet challenge currently but it is NOT going well. I am nowhere close to making my goal, and I’m going to have to be super restrictive over the next two weeks to win back my money. Which makes me feel crappy. I want to start another DietBet right after this one, but if I lose that one, too, that means I’ve spent $83 over the past three months to see barely any results. And that doesn’t sit well with me.

I know I need to take a different focus on this. I feel frantic about losing weight, sometimes. As if the reason I don’t have a boyfriend or a more active social life or more friends is due to the fact that I’m overweight. And if I keep gaining weight, nobody will ever love me and I’ll never succeed at anything I do and life will be terrible and wah wah wah wah wah. Which is so untrue and I don’t know why I keep shoveling these thoughts into my mind. I don’t know why I let them fester, instead of silencing them the minute I think them.

I engage in negative self-talk. I fat shame myself. I fat shame others, which is horrible and makes me feel terrible and I hate admitting it but there it is. I’m not a very good friend to myself. I don’t give myself time to appreciate who I am and what I’m doing now, because I’m so focused on who I wish I was and what I want to be doing in the future.

There has to be a balance. A balance between appreciating myself, loving who I am, in this body, with this life, right now, and striving to make better choices that feel good. Eating unhealthy doesn’t feel good, not exercising doesn’t feel good. I think once I gain that understanding, that who I am right now is okay, but that I want to be a healthier individual all-around, my entire mindset will shift. And instead of being this frantic battle to lose weight so PEOPLE WILL LIKE ME! and IT WILL MAKE ME THE HAPPIEST!, it’ll simply be a change I’m making because it feels good and is the right thing to do.

I need to think of healthy living as something I’m going to be doing for my whole life. This isn’t something I’m doing just to lose 50 lbs, and then I can go back to eating what I want. It’s a lifestyle, and it’s hard to think of it as a lifestyle when it’s something that makes you uncomfortable and annoyed. Something that feels so hard and unnatural.

So maybe instead of making grandiose goals and starting crazy challenges and any other alliteration I can think of, I should take the babiest of baby steps. Start as small as possible, and then once that becomes second nature, add on another goal. And so on and so forth.

This is such a rambling post. It has no point, other than to be a stream of consciousness for how I feel about my healthy living attempts lately. Since this is a weigh-in post, my weigh-in result this week was that I gained 2.2 lbs. Yay. (I can blame my period for some of this, right? Riiiiight.) Hopefully, this upcoming week is better and I’ll see a better result on the scale.

How do you snap out of a healthy living funk?

Categories: Healthy Living

Weekly Weigh-In #5

It’s been a while since I’ve done a weekly weigh-in post and I have missed them. These posts really help me stay on track with eating well and exercising regularly, and both have been suffering for a few weeks now.

My first DietBet ended right before I left on my cruise. It actually ended the Monday I was on my cruise, and I was able to get a code to weigh in early, but I actually fell short of winning. I needed to lose 1 lb, and I only lost .4. But honestly? I am not upset about not winning! I am really, really proud of myself, for losing 6.4 lbs in 4 weeks and for being super serious about healthy living.

I also took my measurements and found out I also lost 8.5 inches around my body. !!! That’s a whole lotta inches. I knew I had to be losing inches because my clothes were fitting me so well. I was feeling good.

Then the cruise happened and I didn’t eat well, as typically happens when you’re on vacation. I was active most days, either through walking, using the stairs on the ship, or doing a workout (okay, I only got in an actual workout once, ha!). But my body is really awesome at gaining weight easily so I wasn’t surprised to get on the scale after my cruise and find out I had gained weight. As in, most of the weight I lost in the weeks prior hopped right back on!

It happens. I don’t regret my vacation or eating as I did. I only go on a cruise once a year and if that means I gain 4-5 lbs during them, then that’s what happens.

So here’s how my weight loss and gains have worked out over the past few weeks:

Right before leaving on my cruise: -.4 lbs
After my cruise: +4.2 lbs
This week: -1.1 lbs

I am really happy to see a weight loss this past week because I haven’t been great at eating well and exercising. I won’t even write down my exercise for this past week because it was pathetic. I’m getting over a head cold (and I don’t exercise when I’m sick, even though I know you technically can with a head cold, but nope, not my thing!), so that was part of the reason, and it’s also interesting how easy you can fall out of the habit of something! I am hoping that knowing I’m going to have to write these posts, detailing my exercise and eating habits will get me back on track.

So! Let’s talk about goals for this upcoming week, okay?

1. Get back to tracking. I’ve totally fallen out of the habit of tracking because it can be so tedious and annoying. But I know it helps and keeps me mindful of what I’m eating, so back to MFP I go!
2. Exercise 6 days. I feel so much better about myself when I’m exercising regularly. I only managed to exercise a few days last week, so I need to get back to my usual six-days-a-week routine.
3. Drink no more than 3 Dr. Peppers. Oh, soda. My favorite substance! I don’t want to go cold turkey off soda, but I do need to severely limit how much of it I drink. Three seems doable!

Do you have a hard time getting back on track with healthy living after a vacation?