Stephany Writes

Categories: Life

What I Want from My Next Apartment

*not my apartment. not even close.

Typically, Mondays are reserved for What I’m Reading posts but it’s Sunday evening, and I’ve yet to finish a book this week! Eeps—this is so unlike me! So, I’m moving that post over to Wednesday, as I’ll have finished two books by then. Instead, today I’m going to talk about what I’m dreaming about for my next apartment.

I know, I know. I’m not moving for another seven months. This post might be a little early, but I can’t help it. I am sooo ready to move out of this apartment and into a space better suited to my needs.

Even so, this apartment has served me well when I needed it. It was the only apartment I could rent for under $1,000 ($800 to be exact!), I’ve never felt unsafe here, and I have great neighbors. I rarely even hear my upstairs neighbors walking around, which is a feat in itself. It was Dutch’s last apartment and the apartment I brought home my kitties. It’s the place I came to after long days at the hospital with Pops.

So many memories—good and bad—are attached to this apartment.

And it’s time to make new ones somewhere else.

I’ve been doing some preliminary apartment research over the past few weeks, creating a spreadsheet listing out a handful of apartments I’d like to tour, their rent prices, their move-in fees, and anything special I noticed from their listings.

My main consideration is budget, as renting a one-bedroom apartment isn’t cheap. Right now, I pay $866 for a one-bedroom apartment, including around $30 a month for water. My goal is to pay no more than $1,250 a month, including utilities, but from the research I’ve done so far, whew. That’s going to be tricky!

As I’ve been thinking about my new apartment and what I want from it, I’ve compiled a list of certain features that I’d like to have in my new apartment. Many of these are must-haves (denoted with an asterisk) and some of these are nice-to-haves. As I’m touring apartments, I’m keeping this list handy for me to mark off what each apartment has and doesn’t have, to better help me make my final decision when the time comes.

Closet Space*

Currently, I only have a walk-in closet and an outside storage closet. That’s it for closet space! I have had to get super creative with the way I organize my belongings. And then there are the items that just don’t fit anywhere so they’re shoved in a corner of my bedroom. (I’m looking at you, vacuum and large rolling suitcase.) It’s not the greatest system. I would love to have a linen closet, walk-in closet, and outside storage closet. Those are the minimum requirements for my next apartment. It would also be nice to have a kitchen pantry and a closet in my bathroom. Please and thank you, apartment gods!

Washer and Dryer*

I haven’t lived in an apartment without an in-unit washer/dryer in a decade. I’m not about to start now.

Screened-In Porch

After four years with a porch that’s frankly unusable (it’s right next to a lake, which means it’s prime for bugs), I really need one that is screened. I want to be able to open up my patio doors to enjoy the weather when it’s nice, let the cats take sun naps on the porch, sit outside and read, etc.

Bigger, Upgraded Kitchen*

Oy vey, my kitchen is the bane of my existence. It’s tiny, for one. And the appliances seem to be from the 80s, for another. There’s no pantry so I’ve had to get creative for how to store my kitchen appliances, spices, and non-perishables. There are only four tiny drawers, none that are big enough to hold a typical silverware sorter. There’s no counter space because the only big block of counter is taken up by a massive microwave. Due to the way the fridge opens, I can only use one of the crisper drawers. And I’ve had to really utilize the “one in, one out” rule, as literally nothing else will fit in my cabinets anymore. I’m so tired of my kitchen. I never want to cook because it’s so tiny and impractical. A bigger, more spacious kitchen is my #1 desire. Bonus points if it’s not a galley kitchen like so many apartment kitchens are these days.

24-Hour Gym

I’d love to be able to quit my gym… even though I waited for nine months for it to open, lol. I’m looking for an apartment that has a decent-sized gym (multiple cardio machines and weight machines, plz!) and is open 24 hours. My current apartment gym is cramped and every time I’ve used the treadmill, I’m certain it’s going to fall apart. (It’s very old.) The kicker is that the gym has very specific hours, not opening in the morning until 6am, which is too late for me to work out in the mornings.

Dedicated Dining Area*

How nice would it be to have my own dining table? Very, very nice. My apartment doesn’t have room for a dining table so I use my kitchen island as a storage spot/desk/dining table/food preparation area. It’s where I sit when I’m working from home, where I eat every meal, where I write my blog posts, where I watch TV, etc. I’m really looking forward to having an actual dining table so I can eat my meals like a normal human being and maybe even have friends over for dinner! What the what!

Desk Nook

Okay, okay, maybe I’m getting a little indulgent here. But I dream about a time when I can have an actual desk to work from when I’m working from home. Maybe I could even have a second monitor, too! A girl can dream…

Ceiling Fan in My Bedroom

I live and die by my bedroom ceiling fan. It provides white noise as I’m trying to fall asleep and keeps me cool (even though I keep my home ridiculously cold as it is). I didn’t have a ceiling fan for the year I lived in Tampa and dealt with chronic congestion for eight straight months. Related? Who knows, but I’m not willing to take the chance.

Tell me something you’d like your home to have!

Categories: Life

What I’ve Learned After 18 Months of Regular Therapy

Last week, I took you through some common questions I’ve received about the process of therapy—finding a therapist, what a session is like, etc. Today, I wanted to follow up with some of the things I’ve learned during my time in therapy, in the hopes that it will clarify what you can expect from therapy if you choose to go. However, I do want to state that this is my own personal experience—YMMV and all that.

1. The most important thing is finding the right therapist for you.

The main piece of advice anyone will give about therapy is that you have to find the therapist that is right for you. This process? It’s not always easy. And it can be so discouraging to spend weeks or months with a therapist and realize you’re not clicking with them. I was lucky enough to connect with my current therapist right away, and she was the first one I saw when I decided to go back to therapy (after a failed attempt in 2012). But this is the most important thing to remember—if you aren’t connecting with your therapist, you may need to break up with them and find someone new. You will find the right one, but it may take several attempts. But it’s so damn worth it when you do find the right one. I’d also caution people to give it a few sessions, as you may not click with your therapist right off the bat. It may take several sessions to find that rapport.

2. Therapy is not a quick fix.

While I saw incremental progress with my mental health in the beginning of my therapy journey, it wasn’t until an entire year had passed that I finally felt like I was at a place of stability with my mental health. I started noticing that the stuff that used to make me downward-spiral wasn’t phasing me as much, because I was able to take the techniques my therapist taught me to challenge my thoughts. Being able to challenge these highly emotional, not-based-in-any-sort-of-reality thoughts has been a long, hard journey; it took me over a year to finally start to shift my thinking. A year of sitting in my therapist’s office, talking through yet another scenario that was causing me anxiety, and learning how to break out of the cycle of downward spiraling. I didn’t know it was going to take me such a long time, but I also didn’t know I could get to the place I am today. I had no idea that I could feel so in control of my own thoughts and mental health. So, don’t go into therapy thinking you’ll get a quick fix. It’s all about baby steps and incremental progress and breaking yourself down little by little to build yourself back up again.

3. Be prepared to hear hard truths.

I asked on Instagram if any therapy veterans had advice that I could include in this post, and I loved this sage piece of wisdom from a friend. Your therapist is not there to be your friend. They are not there to coddle you. They are there to help you find yourself again. Whether that’s learning how to cope with your anxiety, heal from a traumatic event, or set boundaries with your relationships, you’re going to have to deal with hard truths. Therapy is truly about ripping yourself wide open and letting a stranger poke inside your brain and heart, bringing forth a flurry of difficult emotions that you may not be prepared to deal with. But it’s worth going through this painful process. Hiding from hard truths isn’t helping us; it’s only allowing us to stay stuck and mired in our own anxieties.

4. You don’t need to be actively in crisis to benefit from therapy.

Therapy is not just for people who have anxiety, depression, or another mental illness. It’s not just for people who are healing from a traumatic event or going through a difficult season of life (death of a loved one, a breakup, etc.) You don’t have to be actively in crisis. If you feel generally okay on a day-to-day basis, but want to talk with someone about life and all the challenges it can bring (tricky in-law situations, stressful work days, etc.), therapy is beneficial.  I truly don’t believe someone ever “graduates” from therapy; we may not need to go regularly, but we will all need it through different seasons of our lives. As my mental health challenges have lessened, I have toyed with the idea of ending my therapy sessions. But I also really love that I get to spend an hour just chatting about my life with my therapist and getting some feedback about other life happenings—the stuff I couldn’t talk about when my anxiety struggles took precedence. Also, I want to state here that I recognize what a privileged statement it is to say that you can go to therapy even when things are going smoothly. I know how inaccessible therapy is for so many individuals, and I wish there was a better solution.

5. You will learn how to open up in ways you never anticipated.

Therapy was probably my least-favorite thing to do when I started my sessions. I had so much anxiety leading up to each session and I finally discovered what was making me so anxious—talking! I am not a talker by nature (ask anyone who knows me IRL, lol) and opening up is even more difficult. I was just not looking forward to spending an hour talking about myself and my issues. It took a while for me to get used to the talking part of talk therapy, but once I did, I realized how wonderful it is! A whole hour to talk about me. A whole hour to have a no-holds-barred conversation with an impartial person, in which I don’t have to worry about offending my therapist or scaring her away. In my sessions, I have opened up about so many topics that, before therapy, were just conversations I had in my head (and, in many cases, felt shame about). Now, I get to have these conversations with another person, someone who is trained to help me work through the emotions surrounding these topics and clarify my feelings about them. Therapy has taught me how to open up, how to express my emotions (something that is very hard for people who have traumatic childhoods like I did), and how to be honest about my experience. It’s not a simple, linear process—I still have trouble being fully honest with my therapist and not sugarcoating my emotions. But I’ve grown leaps and bounds in learning how to recognize my emotions, let my feelings have their moments, and open up in ways I never could before.

Categories: Life

What to Expect at Therapy

I’ve been pretty vocal in the last few months, and especially in my end-of-year recaps, about my love for therapy. It has changed my life, quite honestly. When I started therapy, I felt like I was drowning in my spiraling thoughts and crippling anxiety. And while therapy wasn’t this quick fix (it took at least a year to start seeing the benefits of therapy), I’m really glad I didn’t give up, kept showing up even when it was hard and/or felt pointless, and was committed to telling the truth even when it was painful.

A lovely blog reader reached out to me a few weeks ago to ask if I could write a “how to” post about therapy. She’s considering starting therapy and asked for any tips I could give about what to expect. And you know me—I am more than happy to give advice about therapy. After her email, I asked Instagram if they had any specific questions about therapy and got a handful of responses, which helped me put together this post. This post is going to break down the process of therapy—what to expect before you go, during your session, and after your session. I’m going to write a follow-up post next week with some extra tips and advice. (I also asked Instagram for their best therapy advice, which I’ll be adding to that post.)

Before You Go

> How do you determine that you need to go to therapy? This might seem like a simple question, but it was one that took me years to answer. I was so intimidated by the process of therapy and overwhelmed by the steps to find a therapist that it took me years and years to finally make it happen. I convinced myself that I didn’t need it because I just had a “little bit of anxiety” and a “few bouts of depression.” Honestly, though, everyone can benefit from therapy. Even those supposed “emotionally stable” people. It’s useful for everyone. If you’re thinking about going to therapy, that’s a good sign that you should go to therapy. Full stop.

> How do you find a therapist? Finding a therapist is the trickiest part of the process. It involves a lot of online research, submitting queries, making calls, and leaving messages. And for people struggling, this often feels incredibly overwhelming.

When I was searching for a therapist in mid-2018, I told myself I just needed to reach out to two therapists a week—that felt doable to me. At first, I searched the Psychology Today site and did some simple Google searches for therapists around me, but I had the most success at going to the “find a doctor” feature on my health insurance’s website. I filtered my results to women psychologists who were accepting new patients and started working my way down the list. I called a few offices who never returned my calls. Others weren’t accepting new patients. And then I called my current therapist and voila! Just like that: an appointment.

> What happens before the first session? So, you’ve found a therapist, called the office, and left a message. The therapist will (hopefully!) call you back within 24-48 hours and schedule a time to have a complimentary 15-minute phone chat. This chat is nothing to get nervous about—the therapist simply wants to learn about why you’re seeking therapy to make sure he or she is the right fit for you. (Believe me, I was a bumbling, stumbling idiot when I spoke to my current therapist during this chat.)

My therapist also sent me a questionnaire to fill out that covered a whole range of topics. I really loved this because it allowed me to write out my thoughts about certain things I was experiencing. You may or may not be required to do the same.

During Your Session

> What does a typical therapy session look like? Do you go in with a specific idea of what you want to talk about? Obviously, I’m going to be speaking about my personal experience here. I’ve only been to one other therapist and the experience was completely different. My sessions begin with a mood check-in. We simply discuss how my anxiety levels have been lately and what my moods have been like, which is often a jumping-off point for other topics. (For example, if my anxiety has been particularly bad, we unpack what could be causing that.)

My therapist guides the majority of the conversation and we try to cover all the basics about my life: family, work, dating, and friends. We also discuss my social life, since I struggle mightily with making plans and reaching out.

I come to each session with an idea of what I want to discuss. I’ll typically jot down notes in my planner throughout the week as certain thoughts come to me. Before each session, I’ll do a little journaling to figure out how I’m feeling and what I want to talk about.

> Does the therapist have prompts to guide the conversation or do you just talk the whole time? I think the talking part of talk therapy can be incredibly intimidating. I know it was for me! I am not used to talking for such a long period of time—and definitely not about myself and my issues!—so it was an adjustment for me. The way a session goes is highly personal. For some people, they may just sit right down in the therapist’s office and start chatting away. For me, it’s different.

I still remember when I told my therapist, this was probably during my third or fourth session, that I had a lot of anxiety about therapy because I wanted to be sure I had enough “issues” to fill out the 45-minute time block. She was quick to assure me that I never had to worry about that—and she was right. Even the months when I come in thinking I don’t have anything to say, within minutes, I’m chattering away about an issue she helped me unearth from my psyche.

So, yes, the therapist should be able to guide the session, but he or she should also know how to let you talk and take control of the conversation. My therapist knows when to let me talk, when to ask questions to probe deeper into an issue, and when to ask a guided question that could lead us down an entirely different road.

After Therapy

> How do you decide how often you’ll go to therapy? This is entirely dependent on you and your therapist. (And your budget, unfortunately.) Generally, in the beginning, you’ll want to go weekly or biweekly. I started by going every other week and now I go every four weeks.

> How do you make sure you get the most out of each session? My therapist has provided me with techniques to practice and worksheets to help me through particularly tricky issues. I also try to journal or go for a long walk after my session to process the session. Therapy is hard, emotional work and you want to give yourself the space to decompress once the session is over.

I really hope this was helpful for those seeking therapy! And stay tuned for tips about therapy, including how to find the right fit for you.

Categories: Life

Monthly Recap | December 2019

READING

I read 11 books in December to finish off the year with 130 books read. When I read 134 books in 2018, I didn’t think I’d ever get close to that number again and here we are! I set my Goodreads goal for 2020 at 135 books because I figured I might as well give myself an outrageous goal to shoot for. I am 100% not going to stress out about meeting this goal – I just made it for funsies. It’ll be fun to see my progress throughout the year, I think. 🙂 Here are my top three books for December:

WATCHING

  • Mad Men, season 6 – I started season 6 of Mad Men in December and have watched the first handful of episodes. I’m happy to be back in Don Draper and Peggy Olson’s worlds again – they’re such great characters.
  • Brooklyn 99, season 1 – I was a devoted fan of Brooklyn 99 until I got rid of cable and stopped watching the show. I recently decided to rewatch it from the beginning and it might have been one of the best decisions I made at the end of 2019. 😉 It’s such a funny show.
  • Knives Out – I saw this with some coworkers in mid-December and loved it! It was such a great movie with an all-star cast and an ending I didn’t see coming.
  • Little Women – My mom and I went to see this the weekend after Christmas and I loved it! I’ll admit that my expectations were low because I’m not a fan of the book (just couldn’t get past the cheesy language), but the movie was everything I could have wanted. Saoirse Ronan was the perfect Jo and the movie was so beautifully directed that it made me have lots of feeeelings.

LISTENING TO

  • Code Switch – I’m currently going through the archives of this podcast (which dates back all the way to 2016 so I have lots of episodes to occupy me) and it’s as great as everyone says. The podcast is about the topics, people, and events that shape race and identity, and every episode leaves me with things to ponder. Also, can we talk about Gene Demby’s oh-so-sexy-perfect-for-radio voice? I could listen to him read the phone book. Ah!
  • In the Dark – Lisa has recommended this podcast to me multiple times and I finally listened to season one in December! It was really, really good, following the disappearance of Jacob Wetterling in 1989. It’s shocking how much the police bungled their investigation! I know processes were different 30+ years ago, but damn.

BUYING GETTING

Instead of my typical “buying” section here, let’s talk about some of the fun Christmas gifts I got this year!

  • A new slow cooker – I’m so happy that my brother bought me this! It was the thing I wanted most. I haven’t yet made a meal in my new slow cooker but I think I’m going to give it a whirl next week!
  • A book scarf – I showed off my new book scarf on Instagram on Monday and got lots of compliments. 🙂 It’s so soft and cozy, and I love that it shows off my favorite hobby.
  • A cordless hand vacuum – Yay! The other thing I really, really wanted this Christmas. Y’all, this vacuum is life-changing. It took me, like, 30 seconds to vacuum my couch when it usually takes me 10 minutes, a lot of sweat, and a twinge of backache.

THE HIGHS

  • A birthday cruise – It was so lovely to go on a cruise again! This was my 10th cruise and while breaking my ankle on day two really put a damper on the vacation, it was still a special time.
  • A baking class – I chose a baking class at Sur La Table for my friend A’s “gift of time.” It was my first baking class and I had a great time, even though I felt like such a beginner. I mean, it was my first time using a stand mixer and everything!
  • Meeting my friend’s baby – It was WONDERFUL to finally meet my friend’s baby and soak up all the perfect newborn snuggles. She’s a delight with the best baby mohawk and I love her immensely.

THE LOWS

  • Breaking my ankle – Well, yeah. This was a major low for December. I had a pretty terrible experience in the medical center on the ship as they decided to splint my leg and seemed to believe I would need to spend the rest of the trip in my cabin. I understand they have a very specific protocol to follow, considering I got hurt on the ship, but damn, it would have been nice to be listened to by the medical team. I definitely felt like my needs were secondary. Anyway, I got through it and spent December recovering from my injury.
  • A weird Christmas – Ah, Christmas is always a little less magical when you’re a grown-up without kids, isn’t it? Christmas felt a little strange this year, waking up alone (well, I had my girls but they were pretty ambivalent about the holiday, heh) and having a quiet morning by myself. It was nice, but also strange.

Categories: Life

From 2010 to 2019

At the end of 2009, I wrote a post I titled “The End of an Era” that chronicled an entire decade’s worth of memories.  First of all, yes, I’m astonished to learn that I’ve been blogging on Stephany Writes for more than a decade now. (!!!) I’ve been blogging for longer than a decade, but on lots of other blogs that came and went. But this blog has been a consistent part of my life for ten whole years. That’s crazy!

Anyway, once I realized we were coming to the end of another decade, I knew I had to write a similar post, chronicling the memories from this decade. So much has happened! I graduated college, lost both of my grandparents, welcomed a new nephew, lost my beloved Dutchy, became a cat mom, fell in love (a few times), traveled, met so many new people. Looking back on the girl who started this decade, I have nothing but love for her. She was trying her damned best and I want to bring that grace into this new decade because I know it is going to bring more heartbreak and love and excitement. More travels, more people, more cats, more dogs, and hopefully my forever partner.

Let’s take a look back on this decade, though. It’s been a crazy ten years.

In 2010, I was 22 and in college.

I was finishing up my second-to-last year, including a really intense magazine design course that required me to teach myself how to use Adobe InDesign and produce an 18-page magazine within four months. (A decade later and I’m still proud that I received an A+ on my magazine and my professor used it as an example for years.) My grandma’s cancer returned but she beat it again. My mom was hit by a car while on a run. And this was the year I made the decision to sever contact with my father. It was a hard year and I was hard on myself, but looking back, I want to give that 22-year-old girl a hug because she went through a lot of trauma and emerged from it victorious.

In 2011, I was 23 and a college graduate.

I got shingles during my last semester of school, brought on by stress (and because I was intensely anxious that I wouldn’t graduate and let everyone down). I went on my first cruise this year, a graduation present from my mom. Three months after I graduated, I landed a job as a marketing assistant. I also started online dating, to terrible results.

In 2012, I was 24 and searching for community.

College was done and I had the rest of my life ahead of me, and I wanted some girlfriends dammit. I tried befriending a girl at work and went to a Tampa bloggers meetup that went horribly – nobody talked to me and I cried the entire drive home, convinced I was too weird to have friends. A few months later, I went to a book club meeting where I felt welcomed and accepted, and seven years later, I’m still in that book club and those girls are some of my closest friends. This year, my brother got married, I went on my second cruise, and I went on my very first plane ride to visit family in Georgia.

In 2013, I was 25 and ready for a change.

I spent most of the first half of the year in job hunt mode. I was supremely unhappy at my job as a marketing assistant – due to both the work and the pay. At the rate I was getting paid, I’d never be able to move out on my own. In August, I started a new job in the exact field I wanted (copywriting) and it came with a 30% pay increase, which was baffling to me. (You mean I can pay my bills and have money left over? WHAT IS THIS LIFE?) It was also a year of firsts: first romantic relationship, first time I bought a car, and first time going on a girls’ trip. It was indeed a big year for me.

In 2014, I was 26 and expanding my horizons.

This was the year I truly started investing in relationships, from my friendships to my dating life. I fell head over heels for a guy this year, an experience unlike any other. I went to Savannah for my birthday and fell in love with that charming city. I spent the last day of the year at two different parties, ringing in the new year surrounded by people I loved.

In 2015, I was 27 and experienced the first true heartbreak of my life.

My grandma, who had courageously battled cancer for six years, died. It wasn’t a shocking loss; we all knew it was coming when the cancer returned for a fourth time, but it was a devastating one. It was hard to know what to do without her. Our family was bereft. This year also saw another big change in my life: moving out. I moved into a cute apartment in Tampa with a dear friend and the adjustment was hard for me. I loved living with my mom – she’s my best friend and it was so comfortable and easy living with her. Living with Roomie was just as wonderful (she was the best Roomie, honestly) but it took a while for me to adjust. But there were also many, many wonderful memories in 2015 – the birth of my nephew, a trip to Savannah, another cruise, and my mom getting re-married. Joy and pain, happiness and grief – that’s what life sometimes is.

In 2016, I was 28 and independent.

I fell deeply in love this year – the kind of instantaneous love that you only think happens in the movies. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t think of anyone but him. It didn’t last, and the heartbreak was immense, but man, was it a blast while it lasted. I was hugely social this year (mostly thanks to Roomie who knew how to keep me balanced between alone time and people time) and also preparing for a big move: my own apartment. I was terrified for this change, because the move last year had been such a difficult adjustment, and because finding a one-bedroom apartment in my price range seemed almost impossible. And yet – I found an apartment in my price range and the transition to living alone was easier than I could have expected. This year was one filled with lots of stress and anxiety (related to my own not-yet-diagnosed anxiety disorder and my big move), and I could have seriously benefited from therapy and anxiety meds. But that was to come!

In 2017, I was 29 and settled.

I filled up my time with dates, gatherings with friends, and family time. I was content for the first time in my life and finally felt myself settling into myself. I got involved in politics for the first time in my life, after the worst person ever was elected president, and even attended a political protest. I traveled to Puerto Rico and Asheville, North Carolina this year. I got my first tattoo. Some of my writing was published on Thought Catalog. And, perhaps most importantly, I started anxiety meds. It was a good year, one I look back on fondly.

In 2018, I was 30 and heartbroken.

This was such a tough year for me, one I never want to repeat. It started when my beloved Dutchy-Boy died in February, my sweet dachshund who had been my constant companion for almost a decade. He was old (16) so he lived a wonderfully long life, but losing him sent me spiraling into a months-long depression. A few months after Dutch’s passing, my mom adopted an adorable eight-week-old dachshund who helped me stitch my heart back together. I emerged from my depression in the summer, weary but happy to feel like myself again, and started therapy. Then, my grandpa passed away. It was completely unexpected and unthinkable and I still have to remind myself that he’s gone because it just feels so unreal. An incredibly tough year, however, ended on the happiest note: I became a cat mom! I adopted Eloise, a sweet black-and-white kitty, from a friend who had rescued her and she helped to put my heart back together again.

In 2019, I was 31 and happy.

I’m ending this decade on such a high note! Looking back at where I was when I started this decade and where I am now, so much happened over the last 10 years. So much growth. I adopted my second kitty, Lila, in February and I am now a super obsessive cat mom. I traveled overseas for the first time, to Ireland and had a blast planning that trip. I visited Boston on a girls’ trip and went on my tenth cruise. I invested heavily in my friendships and spent hours in therapy, unraveling my unhealthy thought patterns and learning the tools to better help my mood disorder. I didn’t date much this year, but I think I needed the time to myself to just be. I had a lot of grief to work through from 2018 and this year was about finding myself again. And I think I did just that.

I love stuff like this: tell me what your life looked like in 2009. How old were you? What were you doing?