Would you believe it? This is the END of this post series! I started this in July 2010 and slowly worked my way through the questions. They were thought-provoking, deep, and insightful. I’m now on the hunt for more questions like these because they really made me stop and think. You can find the entire list here.

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

I would be more vocal about my faith. I find it very hard to be as active as I want to be because let’s face it: Christians don’t always lead by the greatest example. I know more Christians that do than don’t but all the world cares about are those that are radical and a little nuts. It turns them off to anything involving faith or religion (which I can’t say I blame them for, some Christians even leave me with a bad taste in my mouth!), and makes me a little scared to fully share my faith in the way I want to for fear of the judgment I will inevitably receive. I’m trying to worry less and less about that, but I still care way too much about the opinions of others to fully dive headfirst in sharing about my walk with Jesus.

47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

I could take this literally and say I noticed it this morning when I took my earbuds out at the end of my run. Hehe. VERY easy to notice my breathing then! But I think there’s a deeper meaning behind the question, as in, when was the last time I was still, silent, and focused on the here and now? I have a tendency to get more focused on what’s happening next that being present and alive in this moment is something I struggle with. I try to do this on my drive to work, to not be thinking of how many days until the weekend or what I’m having for lunch or anything but the present and being happy to be alive and focused on my life at that moment.

48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

I love the relationship I have with my mom. She’s always there for me, 100%, but she’s also become my very best friend.

I love my family. Every single one of them, including my 16-year-old twin cousins who are going through an extremely rough time right now and acting out because of it. No matter what, I still think those girls are amazing individuals and I wish I knew how to better show them that.

I love my dog. And my Instagram feed showcases that immensely.

I love football, food, and blogging. I love long emails to my blog BFF, funny Twitter convos, and cruising. I love reading, my Kindle, and the fact that I can now borrow books from the library on my Kindle. I love that I have a job to come to, even if some days are harder than others. I love Florida, its sunshine, and immediate access to beaches and theme parks. I love a clean house, organizing, and Publix subs. I love crossing out my to-do list, eyeliner, and Post-It notes.

Most of all, I love the opportunities that await me as I get older, more mature, and more certain of myself and my abilities. I love that I’m learning to throw off the cape of self-doubt and uncertainty and plant myself out there for the world. I love myself.

49. In about 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

I’m pretty sure I will remember what I did yesterday. (I’m writing this on Monday afternoon. I will never forget the crushing defeat of the 49ers loss. My brother was devastated and my heart broke for him.)

But will I remember what I did this past week? No. I won’t. I may remember bits and snippets. A certain scent or song may bring me back to a time when I was a little marketing assistant at a small company, but generally, I won’t remember much. It puts a lot of things into perspective, doesn’t it?

50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

If this question had been asked a year ago, I know I would have answered it differently. But I can say with absolute certainty that I am making decisions for myself. I am controlling my own destiny, taking the bull by the horns, and all other cliché phrases. There’s something exciting about getting older and understanding yourself more that leads to not ever wanting to go back to that stagnant way of living where life seems out of control and decisions out of your reach. I’m standing up for myself more, making my own decisions, and carving out my own life. I’m going to still make lots of mistakes and still have pitfalls to make my way through. But the fun thing about making your own decisions is the learning process because it’s through that process that you learn the most about yourself and what you crave from life.

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9]

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

This is a tough question to even think about but not a tough one to answer. I would spend the day with my mom, my brother, and my nephew. Those three people mean the most to me in the entire world and I would want to spend it recreating memories and soaking in all the time left I had with them. (What a morbid question, though! Geesh!)

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

Absolutely not. I have no inclinations for fame and while I don’t think I would mind being extremely attractive, I’m fairly happy with my mediocre looks now. Sure, I’m not a beauty and YES, I want to lose weight but I want to do it the hard way. I want to put time and effort, sweat and tears into becoming skinnier because that’s part of the process of healing from the inside out. And honestly? The face that stares back at me every day is mine. She is me. We are one. I wouldn’t want a stranger looking back at me, because I’m pretty good friends with the girl I see now.

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

It’s very simple: being alive is just about breathing and moving through each day. You go through the motions of everyday life, but never fully reach out and grasp all life can be. You don’t even have to be depressed or sad, you could be content with your life. But you’re not really living. You’re not taking risks and challenging yourself and loving every moment you breathe.

Truly living? That’s what we aspire to. It’s when you finish each day, exhausted but happy because you didn’t sit down and let life pass you by. You have taken life by the horns and are throwing yourself out into the Universe. Each day isn’t sunshine and rainbows, but you finish each day knowing you did the best job you could to build the best life you can imagine. It’s going to bed every night and not dreading what awaits you in the morning. It’s waking up and being excited about the “to-do” list, even if it’s filled with mundane things. You have a pep in your step because you’ve realized what life is all about and you have captured those moments the rest of us are still wishing on.

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

There is a deeply personal answer to each challenge we face, where we have to weigh the risks and rewards. Sometimes, we have to stop thinking so damn much and just start doing. I am a thinker and I weigh the pros and cons of just about every decision I make and it can be as simple as what I want to eat for lunch. When it feels right for you, that’s when you stop thinking. When you know you will be happier if you went to that book club or went sky-diving or traveled alone for the first time in your life, you will know it in your heart. And you’ll stop believing in all those cons and risks.

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

I am terrified of making mistakes. Terrified. Even though we learn from mistakes, I always feel that making them makes me inferior. As if there is something wrong with me because I tripped up. I’m slowly beginning to realize that making mistakes is part of the growth progress. We have to make mistakes, we have to fall down. It’s the only way we can grow, it’s the only way we can learn. But there’s something scary about making a mistake. I think that’s why I haven’t tried harder to get published, even small articles or short stories. I am terrified of not being good enough.

The truth is? I’m not experienced enough to be “good enough”. I will get rejected and I will have lots of areas in my writing to improve on. Learning the mistakes I’m making in my writing will only make me a better writer, but it’s scary to lay your heart and soul on the line – your passion – and find out just how many mistakes you’re making.

Are you afraid of making mistakes? Tell me, would you reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become attractive and/or famous? Why or why not?

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8]

*Questions found here