Stephany Writes

Categories: Recurring Series

Friday Questions (v. 16)

Happy Friday! It’s been a while since I answered some Friday Questions. I’ve been saving a handful of these to answer at the end of 2019/beginning of 2020 as they are reflecting on what happened over the past year or what I’m thinking about in the coming year. Let’s dive in! (As always, these questions were taken from the Community Questions portion of the Real Talk Radio podcast.)

1) What’s something that you’ve gotten better at over the past year?

I’ve gotten better at not letting other people’s emotions dictate my own. I’m someone who takes on the energy of other people, so if someone comes to me with a problem or needs to talk about something sad, my entire mood shifts. (It also works for my benefit, though, as I will take on the happy emotions of other people!) I feel like I’ve started to understand how to be there for people and listen to their problems without being drawn into their sadness or raw emotions. Therapy has helped me immensely with this as well as constantly reminding myself that I am not responsible for anyone’s emotions, only my own. (That sounds a bit selfish, I know, but I don’t mean that I don’t care about other people anymore. I mean that I have to let people feel their feelings without trying to step in and fix things and make them happy again. That’s not my job. I’m not the happiness police.)

2) What’s something that you find challenging lately?

Dating. Dating has always been challenging for me, and I’m starting to wonder if the app-based dating world is just not for me. I swear it’s just an exercise in futility. Of crafting clever messages to only get “lol” in response and conversations that go nowhere. I’m trying to put a lot of effort into dating this year but man, a week back on the apps and I’m already ready to throw in the towel.

3) What feels most important to you this year?

Getting my financial life together. Honestly, it’s more than time for this considering I’m solidly in my 30s and I can’t continue carrying these bad money habits with me. Something’s gotta give. I want to be smarter about the way I choose to spend my money. I want to keep daily tabs on my checking account (sometimes I won’t check it for over a week because I’m too overwhelmed). I want to save more than I ever have. I just want to feel good about my financial life. I want to feel secure in my financial future. I’ve never really felt that way and I want that to change in 2020.

4) What’s one place you would love to visit in 2020?

I’ve been thinking about planning a visit to Niagara Falls. This would be the “big” trip I take this year with my mom, and we’d explore both the U.S. and Canada sides. I also have a price alert set up for flights to Hawaii, lol, so we’ll see if the price comes down to a reasonable number. Hawaii is probably #1 on my bucket list so fingers crossed!

5) What’s one thing that you’re objectively pretty bad at but you love to do anyway?

Dancing. Listen, I’m your garden-variety white girl who cannot dance to save her life. I refuse to look at photos or videos of me dancing because I know I will die of embarrassment. But it’s still so much fun for me (especially after a few drinks when all my inhibitions are down) to just let loose and move my body in a way I don’t normally allow myself to. It helps to have friends who don’t care what I look like when I dance and push me onto the dance floor. 😉

What’s one place you’d like to visit this year?

Categories: Recurring Series

Five For Friday (v. 57)

1) I planned to write a post about NaNoWriMo, but I feel like my final thoughts aren’t that exciting. At least, enough to warrant a full post. It boils down to the fact that I do really well with a challenge like NaNoWriMo + making myself accountable to other people. I haven’t gone back to my novel since finishing the challenge on November 27th, although I have started to outline the last few scenes of the book and I have a general idea of how it is going to end. It’s just so easy to make excuses for not writing without the pressure of NaNoWriMo! I have a big goal to finish my novel by the end of the year, but I’m not sure how feasible that is, as there are only two-and-a-half weeks left in 2019. Eeks!

2) I know everyone decorated for Christmas early since Thanksgiving fell so late this year, but I waited until last weekend to decorate. (Mostly because of my cruise and not wanting the girls to terrorize all my decorations when I wasn’t here, haha.) I also hadn’t bought a single Christmas present until last weekend. Thanks to the power of online shopping, though, I got about 90% of it done from the comfort of my home and should have all my presents delivered and ready to be wrapped by next weekend. Woop! I still need to buy something for the cats and Chip (of course the animals in my life get Christmas presents!) and I have a Secret Santa gift to buy for work, but other than that, I am D O N E and that feels oh-so-wonderful.

3) My ankle is doing better than expected, which is nice to report! I’ve been keeping it wrapped whenever I’m out and about (and at work), and then taking off the wrapping when I’m at home to give my skin a little breather. I can walk fairly normally on it but it definitely lets me know when I’m doing too much with little twinges of pain. I went to my ortho on Friday where they did X-rays that showed I most definitely broke it but that the bone is rounded, which I’m taking to mean that it never fully, 100% healed from the last time I broke it. (And it may never fully heal, unless I get surgery, which I want to avoid at all costs.) I’ll go back to my ortho at the beginning of January to see how my ankle is healing and I plan on asking my doc how I can stop breaking this damn ankle. Hoping he’ll suggest physical therapy and not surgery, but we’ll see! For now, I’m feeling good and just trying to rest my ankle as much as possible so it can heal ASAP.

4) Sunday was Eloise’s one-year “gotcha”-versary. I can’t believe I’ve had that sweet girl for a whole year now! I remember how scared I was to bring her home, even though I knew in my heart she was meant to be my kitty. But I had no idea how to take care of a cat, even with all my planning. She hid under my bed for a solid week and I was so worried about her! Alas, I had nothing to worry about as she is now my little shadow and doesn’t let me go very far without rubbing up against me or meowing at me. I love her so very much – she puts a smile on my face every day!

5) I have a great weekend planned! Today, I have therapy and then I’m going over to a friend’s house to meet the dog she and her husband just adopted. Tomorrow is a trip to this magical place called Robert’s Christmas Wonderland where I will try not to spend all of my money on Christmas goodies. And on Sunday, I’m meeting a friend’s new baby and watching football with the fam. All in all, it will hopefully be a WONDERFUL weekend and I hope this weekend treats you all well, too. <3

Are you done Christmas shopping? Tell me: do YOU buy gifts for the animals in your life? 🙂

Categories: Recurring Series

Thankful (v. 3)

Happy Wednesday, friends, and happy Birthday Eve to meeeee. 🙂 I’m wrapping up my thankful series with the last set of questions today. I’m really glad I revisited these questions this year. It was fun to look back on 2013 and see how my answers have changed. Maybe this will be an every-six-years tradition? Haha – we’ll see!

21) The best thing I tasted today was my Publix sub! It’s no secret that I love Pub subs. I get them a few times a week – they are the tastiest subs on the planet and one of the main reasons I’ll never leave Florida. 😉

22) I love going online to read blogs! Haha, this answer hasn’t changed from six years ago. (Also, “going online” is very early-2000s, lol. We’re online 24/7 now!) I still read lots of personal blogs and I’m glad so many of us are still around, writing about our lives, even while many others have fallen away. I love this space and sharing my life with so many of you – and I love reading about your lives, too! It’s truly such a joy.

23) I’m grateful for the way these things feel my kittens’ soft fur, that first sip of Dr. Pepper, finishing a page in my coloring book, unexpected compliments, fall-like temperatures, those first few seconds when I slip into a hot bubble bath, and workouts that make my legs feel like jelly. (I could go on and on here – so many simple pleasures in life!)

24) Today I felt supported when I was in a meeting with my team this afternoon. We have a monthly team meeting to talk about changes, challenges, questions, etc., and during this meeting, we were asked to bring in some ideas for boosting productivity. The idea I pitched was looked at very favorably and I’m hoping we can make it happen!

25) When I look around my home, I’m grateful for a little space that’s all mine. I love having my own little apartment and living alone. Even though it’s a tiny space and I’m looking forward to upgrading to something bigger next year, this place has been perfect for me at this point in my life. It makes me feel so cozy and safe!

26) When I look around the world, I’m grateful for the people who stand up for what’s right. It’s not easy and I commend every single person who sees an injustice and decides to do something about it because so many of us don’t. (I’m talking about myself here.) I was reminded about this while listening to a podcast where they talked about how much we revere people like Martin Luther King Jr. and Nelson Mandela now but during their time, they weren’t looked at fondly. They were disrupting the status quo and people don’t like that. To those disrupting the status quo today, I am so grateful for you and your work.

27) I love that I have the ability to daydream about travel. It’s such a privilege to travel and I don’t take a single trip I’ve been on for granted. I’m spending a lot of time right now daydreaming about the places I want to visit next year and the new experiences I want to have.

28) I love it when I see animals sleeping. Is there anything more adorable than an animal all curled up and sleeping? I have so many pictures of Dutch all snuggled up in bed, snoozing away, and they are some of my favorite pictures. And I do the same with my cats. I also exclaim out loud how cute they are, waking them up from their slumber. Hehe. Oops. I just can’t help myself!

29) The nicest thing I have felt on my skin today was cool air. We’ve been having great weather in Florida for the past few weeks and I just hope it continues. Mornings in the 50s, afternoons in the 60s, low 70s. It’s everything I want!

30) I’m grateful that I’m learning to appreciate myself. It’s really true that your thirties are such a great decade because you’ve set aside the worries and struggles of fitting in and you’re done with all the hard work of figuring out who you are and what you want out of life. The thirties are about settling into yourself and falling in love with you. I’m not going to say I’m perfect – I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy and I still spend time wishing I was friendlier, skinnier, more outgoing. But, on the whole, I appreciate who I am and love her and wouldn’t have her any other way.

What are some little things you’re grateful for?

Categories: Recurring Series

TGIF (v. 31)

The high of my week was meeting up with my friends to discuss our trip to Boston next week! We don’t have a super strict itinerary because a lot of what we’ll be doing is just walking around to see the sights. We are planning a day at an apple orchard, a food tour, and potentially a trip to Salem, and I have expressed my strong desire to do the Freedom Trail. We’re going to have fun no matter what! The weather looks great (highs in the low to mid 60s so cold enough for this Florida girl) and I’m just hoping for lots of beautiful fall foliage.

The low of my week was the four-year anniversary of my grandma’s death. The date snuck up on me this year. It’s hard to believe it’s been four years since that horrific day in her hospital room, all of us saying goodbye to this woman who meant so much and lived so fully. My mom and I met for dinner because I think we both needed to be with each other. And, as it turned out, it was free pizookie day at the restaurant (pizookies are basically big cookies served in a deep-dish pizza pan, and it’s the best dessert in the world). I’d like to think that was the perfect way to celebrate my grandma who loved dessert like no other.

An article I loved was… What is Idiopathic Hypersomnia? My Life with a Rare Sleep Disorder by Greatest Escapist. My friend Kate was recently diagnosed with idiopathic hypersomnia after years and years of feeling perpetually tired and like she could fall asleep at any moment. In this post, the first of a series talking about this disorder, Kate talks about what IH is and how it has affected her life.

“Imagine yourself at your tiredest, right before bedtime, & now imagine that you feel like that frequently, midday, at random, & at times when you almost assuredly can not go take a nap. That’s me. And yes, it’s pretty problematic.”

A podcast episode I enjoyed was Votes for Women on Call Your Girlfriend. I’m about a week+ behind in my podcast queue so I just listened to this episode a few days ago and it was excellent. One of the hosts talked with a bunch of different people about voting rights, both for women and for marginalized people. I found the interviews with the activists (one from Mississippi Votes and one from Woke Vote) to be the most intriguing.

The best money I spent was $156 for the Airbnb we’re staying at in Boston. My friend found us a fabulous place in Southie that looks darling. We won’t be spending a ton of time there since we have a full itinerary planned for our four days but it will be a nice little space to come home to at the end of all our activities.

My plans this weekend include not much of anything! I am meeting up with a friend for a gym date this evening, want to take a trip to HomeGoods to see their fall decor, and need to put together my bookcase. And, of course, there’s football with the fam on Sunday! Should be a nice, low-key weekend. 🙂

Tell me the high of your week!

Categories: Recurring Series

Monthly Recap | September 2019

READING

I read 12 books in September – woop! I’m at 101 books for 2019 so far so I upped my reading goal on Goodreads to 125 books. It’s been a good year for reading, that’s for sure. My top three books this month were:

  • Bad Blood by John Carreyrou, a nonfiction account of Elizabeth Holmes and her scam medical testing company Theranos. This book read more like a crazy thriller than a real-life story but it IS real life and that is what is most scary.
  • Shanghai Girls by Lisa See, a brilliantly written historical fiction book about two young sisters whose father arranges marriages for them to take care of a debt. The two men are, thankfully, brothers but they live in California so the girls must leave their home in Shanghai for America.
  • The Mother-in-Law by Sally Hepworth, a totally engaging thriller that reads more like a family drama. It had me on my toes until the very end!

WATCHING

  • Schitt’s Creek, season 4 – What can I say about this show that I haven’t already said? It’s wonderful, and funny, and the perfect show to binge after a long day at work.
  • Cheers, season 2 – Now that I have a gym to go to (!), I’ve been watching episodes of Cheers on my phone whenever I’m on a piece of cardio equipment. Each episode takes me nearly to the end of a 30-minute workout and I’m flying through the second season now.
  • The Good Place, season 3 – Another Ted Danson show! 🙂 When I saw that season 3 was available on Netflix, I was stoked. This is one of my favorite shows and season three was so delightful.
  • Downton Abbey, the movie – My mom is a huge Downton Abbey fan and when we saw the commercial for the movie one night, she mentioned wanting to go see it. We both were free last Saturday, so we went and saw it! I have never seen one single episode of Downton Abbey so maybe it was silly for me to go, but I didn’t have too much trouble following the plot and now I really want to watch the whole series! Such a great movie and all those wonderful accents, ahh. (Although, I can’t lie: I got visibly disturbed to see Dolores Umbridge on my screen as the sweet Lady Maud. HEM! HEM!)

LISTENING TO

  • Decoder Ring – Decoder Ring is a monthly podcast that is centered on cracking cultural mysteries. From the Baby Shark phenomenon to laugh tracks in sitcoms, the podcast explores the history behind all of these different pieces of pop culture and tries to figure out what they mean and why they matter. It’s an easy podcast to binge since there are only 15 episodes in the archive and I’ve listened to just about all of the episodes so far. It’s super interesting, especially because I’d never guess the true story behind some of our cultural phenomena. (Be warned: if you listen to the Baby Shark episode, you will have that earworm stuck in your head for days.)
  • Last Seen – Last Seen is a docu-series about the greatest unsolved art heist in history. In 1990, 13 pieces of artwork valued at $500 million were stolen from a museum in Boston and the paintings nor the thieves have ever been found. It’s INCREDIBLE to think that these 13 paintings are still at large, nearly two decades later, and this podcast delves into the theft, the investigation, and all the crazy leads that the investigators followed for years.
  • Imagined Life – Imagined Life is back after a long hiatus and I am so happy for that! It’s one of my favorite podcasts and I highly recommend it to anyone. Every episode takes you on an immersive journey through the life of one famous person, but the catch is: you don’t know who this person is until the end. Instead, you spend the whole episode trying to figure out who this famous person could be. The podcast is hosted by two great voice actors and it’s so well-produced. Definitely give it a listen if you haven’t yet!

BUYING

  • INFINITIPRO by CONAIR flat iron ($35) – I’m on a mission to learn how to curl my hair with a flat iron but I was having major difficulties with this goal because I was using such an old flat iron. It was at least five years old and while it worked fine, now that I’m using a new flat iron, I’m realizing how outdated it really was. It took multiple swipes through to straighten my hair and trying to pull my hair through the plates to curl it was nearly impossible. With my new flat iron, straightening is so damn easy and I’ve also been somewhat successful with curling it. Yay!
  • Three-shelf bookcase ($15) – Yes, I bought a big beautiful bookcase from IKEA a few months ago and I love it so very much, but I needed a second bookcase. I didn’t want to shell out another $150 nor did I want to spend hours putting another crazy IKEA bookcase together, so I bought a small, cheap bookcase for the time being. It will hold any of the books that won’t fit on my shelf (I only have half a shelf left on the big bookcase!) and other trinkets.
  • Pela phone case ($30) – I’ve been craving a new phone case, as the one I’m using is over a year old now. It’s an Otterbox and I’ve been loyal to Otterbox cases ever since I shattered my (brand new!) phone when it was in one of those cheap, pretty cases. (I’ve been too terrified to use anything else!) But I got drawn into an Instagram ad (ugh) and purchased this case from Pela. It’s made from sustainable materials (no plastic!) so it lives up to the eco-friendly goals I’m working towards.

THE HIGHS

  • My gym is open! – Only nine months after we expected it to open, my gym is now up and running. Woohoo! I love having a gym to go to, and it’s only a five-minute drive for me so it’s just so convenient to get in a workout. The class schedule is not super ideal but I hope it will change soon. (It appears they are launching a few more classes soon, so yay for that!) I have taken two BodyPump classes and am eyeing a Zumba and BodyCombat class to attend soon.
  • Meeting Lisa Unger – I went to a really fun author event in mid-September where a much-loved author, Lisa Unger, was discussing her latest release. As a wannabe novelist, it’s so gratifying to hear successful authors talk about their work and the process of writing. It makes me feel so much less alone in my struggles!
  • A friend’s birthday party – One of my dearest friends opened her home to celebrate her birthday. She did it in the most “2” way possible (she’s a classic Enneagram 2!) by feeding and hosting all of us. I got to catch up with a lot of former coworkers, which was so lovely!

THE LOWS

Gosh, I can’t think of anything to include in this section! September was a really wonderful month and my anxiety is at an all-time low. I really don’t know what has caused the shift – maybe the nicer weather, maybe the start of my favorite time of year, maybe the trips I have to look forward to. Or maybe, you know, all the hard work I’ve put in with therapy! But I’m feeling good and I’m so grateful for that.

ANTICIPATING…

  • BOSTON – Our annual girls’ trip is coming up soon! We leave two weeks from yesterday and I CAN’T WAIT. I am ready for cooler weather, fall colors, and spending four days with my favorite people. We’re going to have such a good time!
  • Chip duty – The day after I come back from Boston, my mom leaves for a work trip so that means I’ll be on Chip duty for a few days. I love that wild child to pieces and we’ll have a fun few days together.

Tell me something good that happened to you in September!