This week I had a crazy dream. And I understand dreams are only interesting to the people who dreamed them but bear with me.

In the dream, my mom and I were staying at a house and we had just gotten word that my uncle was out of jail (side note: none of my uncles are currently in jail. Let me be clear about that!), and we both got scared he was going to try to find us. We began packing up our stuff and dressing in clothes that would hide us well (?!) and trying to scurry out of the house as soon as possible.

Well, we made it out of the house and everything seemed to be fine. Then, in a new scene (but same dream), my mom and I were at Publix, perhaps getting supplies for our furtive journey. (Who knows?!) And this time, I’m running away from a coworker and I’m terrified of her finding me. But she does and she grabs me, and I yell in her face, “YOU DO NOT HAVE THE POWER TO HURT ME.”

End dream.

And, honestly, it’s not hard to see what this dream was really about. My dad, who is currently in jail. Maybe I’m worried that, when he’s released, he’ll try to find me.  Maybe I’m worried about him because he is my dad and even though he has caused so much hurt and pain in my life, I still love him fiercely and him hurting is me hurting. Maybe this dream was my subconscious telling me to release this worry and anxiety and fear and heartache. He no longer has the power to hurt me. The sooner I relinquish this control I have over worrying about his situation, the sooner the power it’s holding over my life diminishes.

But relinquishing that power? Trying to let what happens just happen? Removing myself from the situation? That’s not an easy task at all.

The high of my week was… having a lady date with my good friend, Bri. We had dinner at the food court at Westshore Mall and then went to see Gone Girl! YOU GUYS! The movie was incredible! The acting was fantastic, the drama was outstanding, and I loved how true the movie stayed to the book. One of the best book-to-film adaptations I’ve seen in a long, long time. Whether you’ve read the book or not, I highly recommend this movie!

The low of my week was… having a little too much jibber jabber from my inner critic. Sometimes, it’s hard to stop the downward cycle of negative thoughts and feelings. I think it may be time to revisit the Fierce Love course from Stratejoy!

An article I loved was… 17 Things to Expect When You Date a Girl Who’s Used to Being On Her Own by Thought Catalog. Oh, goodness, this article really hit the nail on the head for me. I’ve been having a hard time with the dating thing because a) my standards are high and it’s hard to find someone who meets them and b) it’s really difficult dating when you’ve spent more than 26 years single. I understand being single and alone so, so, so much more than I understand being in a relationship. It’s hard for me. It’s hard to let people in, to rearrange my life, to open myself up to something different.

“6. She needs to be left alone often especially when you first start seeing each other and it should feel like she’s head over heels. Believe that she has more butterflies in her stomach than she knows what to do with, which is why she’ll need to compose herself.“

A podcast episode I loved was… Gone Girls from Stuff Mom Never Told You. This was all about sociopaths, their traits, and the pop culture phenomenon of how intrigued we are by them. My favorite part of the podcast was when one of the hosts talked about an easy quiz to give yourself to figure out if you are a sociopath. “Have you ever felt awkward anytime in your life? Congratulations! You are probably not a sociopath.” HA! Yep. Not a sociopath! (Whew!)

The best money I spent was… $11 on lunch yesterday. There was a food truck at a nearby office that was running this really cool program where you bought a meal for yourself and then a meal would be given to a child in need. It was sponsored by Metropolitan Ministries and Feeding America Tampa Bay (one of my favorite charities!), so it was fun to get out of the office with a bunch of coworkers (nearly half the office showed up!) and have lunch. And it was my first food truck experience! What what!

My plans this weekend include walking a 5K, going for a pedicure with my mom, and hopefully crossing off another adventure on my Tampa Bay Project list.

What was the highlight of your week? Any fun weekend plans?

On Saturday, Dutch had his comprehensive exam. He had blood work, an EKG, and some other evaluations done. And everything came back fine! I was so, so relieved because I had been working myself into a real tizzy about the exam. Taking Dutch to the vet always makes me nervous because even though Dutch seems healthy, you just never know if something could be wrong. And anxiety is fairly irrational and makes me think of all the worst-case scenarios because if I’m not worrying about worst-case scenarios, then I just start worrying about why I’m not worried and it’s a never-ending cycle and just. not. fun. WOO! But he is healthy and normal and the vet is very pleased with him. 🙂

The only issue they brought up is his eyesight. He has a condition called nuclear sclerosis, which isn’t something to be concerned with. All it means is that his eyes have a cloudy, bluish-gray tint to them (my nephew says he has “bad guy eyes!”) and that he has minor vision impairment. He also has cataracts, but they’re small and nothing to worry about just yet.

All in all, a great exam and my boy is healthy! He’s such a little trooper. Love him.

Oh! Weird story. After the exam, I took Dutch around PetSmart to find him a new harness (pictured above! And yes, I mainly bought it because it has a bow tie. I die.) and ran across a couple who used to have dachshunds. They were shocked to find out that Dutch is 12 years old, and kept telling me, “None of our dachshunds ever made it past twelve. Their backs always went out.” UM THANK YOU! THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Gah, why do people have to say the dumbest things?

The high of my week was Dutch’s clean bill of health! It was the best news and I’ve been waking up every morning feeling so grateful.

A blog post I loved was Kerrie’s post on why she continues to blog. How I blog is something I continuously think about and restructure. My blogging style has changed a lot since I started this blog back in 2009. I love reading what other people think about blogging and how they’ve adapted to it changing over the years.

“I’ve decided to be so incredibly thankful that I was able to be a part of that golden age of blogging when it was all so pure and simple and basically like reading each other’s journals. No photos, no social media, no DIY, no ad revenue. Although each of those things are now a piece of my internet presence these days, I definitely do feel grateful that I started out without the pressure and perfection of the current blogging landscape.”

A podcast episode I loved was I Hate Being Highly Sensitive. I found this awesome podcast a few months ago and I really, really love it. Kelly has such a soothing voice and I love the wide range of topics she discusses. It’s helped me learn so much about being a highly sensitive person. This episode is one of her best, talking about all the annoying things about being an HSP.

The best money I spent was $36.59 on a new pair of jeans and two t-shirts at Old Navy. I’ve been wearing a pair of jeans for a while that just don’t fit me right and every time I wear them, they make me feel like crap. So I just bit the bullet, went to Old Navy, and bought a pair of better-fitting skinny jeans. They feel amazing on me! (Whyyy do I continue to wear things that don’t make me feel good?!) And, because Old Navy was having an awesome sale (40% off everything!), I added two shirts to the mix.

My plans this weekend include a nap this afternoon (!), lunch with girlfriends, a two-year-old’s birthday party, and a long walk with my favorite pooch.

What was the high of your week? Any fun plans for you this weekend?