Recurring Series

Currently…

Feeling: A little melancholy. I really, really miss my dad. Father’s Day is probably the hardest day of the year for me to get through, so I tried to take it easy yesterday. I started my day off with a long walk with Dutch, had a yummy lunch with my mom, took a delightful afternoon nap, and finished off the day grocery shopping, doing laundry, and watching episodes of Shark Tank.

Reading: Hot Pursuit by my all-time favorite author, Suzanne Brockmann. It’s the 15th book in the series so, needless to say, I am totally invested in these characters – they feel like family to me!

Thinking: About trying my hand at Camp NaNoWriMo in July. It’s basically like NaNoWriMo (which takes place in November), but you can choose the word count you want to shoot for (from 10,000 to 999,000!). It seems like it would be a fun challenge to take on!

Anticipating: A day trip to Miami with my brother in the fall! We’re going to drive down to see a Dolphins game, and I’m just really excited to spend some solid one-on-one time with him. My brother is one of my most favorite people, and we rarely get time alone with one another anymore. It should be fun! (As long as the ‘Phins win, of course!)

Watching: Last Comic Standing. Oh, my goodness, I love this show so much! It’s one of the few shows I actually watch live because I can’t handle waiting for the new shows.

Wishing: It was easier for me to open up to people in real life. It sounds funny because I have no problem opening up and being vulnerable on my blog, but it’s so hard to do the same to the people in my life. I think this is why I had such a problem with therapy. It just doesn’t feel normal for me to talk about my feelings out loud. In writing? Sure! But in real life? So hard. I’m working on it.

Learning: More about my highly sensitive nature. Being sensitive is a trait I’ve always understood about myself, but recent events have made me more interested in learning about what being a highly sensitive person means and how it has affected my life. Perhaps a blog post to come on this?

Hoping: To schedule more pool days this summer. People always ask me if I spend every weekend at the pool since I have two beautiful pools in my apartment community. And the truth is? Last summer, I probably spent less than five days at the pool! Isn’t that sad? I need to change that this year!

Loving: Cereal. The fact that I’ve kept up with Project 365 (even if it is a pain in the neck some days!). Dutch sleeping on my chest. Writing dates. Accountability check-ins with Nora. Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. Shark Tank. My new cube at work. Sleeping in on the weekend.

What are you currently reading, anticipating, and watching?

Categories: Recurring Series

Five For Friday (v. 33)

1) I bought new eyeglasses! I have been coveting this purchase for well over a year now, and I’m glad I finally got it done. I haven’t had an eye appointment in three years (and let’s just forget about how long it’s been since my eyes were dilated – high school, maybe?), and all my prescriptions were out of date so it’s just an appointment I’ve kept putting off because I knew it would be quite the expense. And it was… but not as bad as I suspected! (Around $400 total for my eye appointment, a six-months supply of contacts, and the glasses themselves. Not bad at all!)

It took me a long time to finally settle on glasses I loved (also, we kept getting tripped up on the ordering process due to insurance problems that finally got settled – SIGH), and I think I was having doubts because the glasses I have currently I really, really hate. They are too wide and boxy for my face, but I bought them without insurance and had to get a cheapo pair. I had an awesome sales lady who helped me out, helping me to find glasses that fit my face. (Did you know the length of your eyeglasses shouldn’t be longer than the length of your eyebrows? And if they follow the shape of your eyebrows, even better!) I finally settled on a pair that I really love and that are a bit funkier than I would normally buy. I can’t wait until they come in!

2) I had lunch with some friends I hadn’t seen in a while last week, and one of them asked me if I was apartment hunting currently, to move out on my own. I fumbled around with my answer a little, at first giving a bald-faced lie and saying yes (I KNOW!), and then saying no, I wasn’t, and that I was stuck in my current apartment lease until September but that I should be looking around soon. I don’t know WHY I said that when I am planning on waiting until next September to move out on my own.

I guess there’s this little (big?) part of me that feels a little embarrassed and shame when talking to people my age who are living on their own, and I’m still living with my mom. There are many reasons for this: renting is expensive, I need to save up more money, I want to pay off a few debts first, I really, really, really like having my mom as my roommate, etc. But I know a lot of people don’t understand this, people who think I should be out on my own now. And I don’t know what to say to that. Because yes, I should but also no, I shouldn’t. I have a really hard time with judgment and criticism and tuning out the voices. People don’t even need to say anything to me – I just worry. I worry people think I’m undateable because I’ve never had a serious boyfriend, that I’m a loser because I’m still overweight, that I’m too dependent on my mom because I still live with her. I know none of those things are true (I think I know this), but it’s hard when you realize you have veered so far off the timeline of when you’re supposed to check things off the map (moving out at 18! Lost the freshmen 15 by 22! Married by 25!), and you have no idea if/when things will ever be checked off. Feelings are so complicated.

3) I went on a little mini-shopping spree last weekend. I have been feeling really blah and uninspired when it comes to my work clothes, so I went to the mall and scored three nice blouse-y shirts, a new pair of dress pants, a casual tee, and a workout shirt for $70. I’m pretty happy about that! It was my one last “hurrah!” before I go on a strict spending freeze for the summer. My spending – between my vacation in early May and buying new glasses and other miscellany purchases – has been a bit out of control lately, and while I’m staying out of credit card debt (able to use them, then pay them off!), I haven’t been good at increasing my emergency savings. So I need to put a stop to all unnecessary spending for the next three months and get back to seriously attacking my debt goals for the year. (I’ll be doing biweekly updates, so be on the lookout for those!)

4) I’m so happy it’s summer TV season. I love the fall/spring line-up, but most of my favorite shows take place in the summer. MasterChef, American Ninja Warrior, So You Think You Can Dance, America’s Got Talent, Last Comic Standing, and I’m also watching The Bachelorette. (Ugh, guilty pleasure!) But I’m eagerly anticipating the premiere of my favorite show of the year: BIG BROTHER! (Please, please, please, please, please let this season not be anything like last season. Last season was so pathetic!)

5) I don’t have much planned for this weekend. I have a hair appointment this afternoon (YAY!) and tonight, I’m meeting up with a friend to work on my fiction novel. Saturday and Sunday? It’s all up in the air! I am craving a few hours by the pool with a trashy romance novel, so I think I should do that, yes?

Categories: Recurring Series

On April

April was a fabulous month! I really, really enjoyed April. I felt really strong and in control. I started working out six times a week (the habit I wanted to change this month!), and it was a successful month of weight loss. Plus, it was just a good month. Nothing terribly exciting happened, just a bunch of little moments that, looking back on, make me smile.

The highlights from April were playing with sting rays at the Clearwater Marine Aquarium (and seeing Winter the Dolphin in person!), participating in Amber’s DietBet and completely changing my healthy living mindset, and making my new favorite dish: Loaded Turkey Santa Fe Baked Potato Skins.

The low point of my month was when Dutch wasn’t feeling well. Having a sick pup is so hard, and even though I knew he wasn’t sick sick, just trying to rid his body of something, it was still a little nerve-wracking. Thankfully, he is all better and back to his old self.

The best thing I spent money on this month was a new pair of dress pants from Loft! They fit me like a glove, are the perfect size length-wise, and I feel really good in them. That’s always nice!

In April, I wrote about the different ways I feel like an adult and the different ways I still feel like a kid, and things I always do, sometimes do, and never do. This month, I also started writing weekly updates on my attempts with losing weight and eating healthily.

The progress I made toward my obsessive goal (losing 50 lbs!) was losing 6 lbs! I am hoping I can bring this momentum into May because April was a terrific month for weight loss and healthy living.

A habit I would like to change in May is getting to bed earlier. I’ve fallen into a pattern of staying up until 10:00 (I know, I’m such a wild party animal), and I really want to get back to my 9pm bedtimes. That means I need to close my laptop, turn off the TV, and be preparing for bed by 8pm so I can have time to read and slowly unwind before turning out the lights. I was doing really awesome with this before, but have fallen out of the habit.

I am looking forward to May because IT’S CRUISE MONTH! Five days, five days, five days! I can’t wait!

1. Get to a healthy BMI and lose at least 40 lbs.

So far in 2014, I’ve lost a little over 8 lbs. I need to lose around 4 lbs a month to meet this goal. Still doable!

2. Pay off my credit cards, start an emergency fund (have at least $1,500 saved), and pay off one school loan.

Credit cards are paid off; the emergency fund is at $360. My upcoming cruise has stalled some money-saving attempts, but I am hoping to add at least $400 to my savings account in May.

3. Read 75 books, including 10 off this list.

I read 8 books in March, putting me at 27 books read this year, and around 3 books ahead of schedule. Wahoo!

4. Get a tattoo.

No progress made yet.

5. Travel to Miami to attend a Miami Dolphins game.

No progress made yet. Waiting for tickets to go on sale! (But the schedule was released so I have a few games on my radar that would be fun to be in attendance for.)

What was the highlight of your April? What was the best thing you bought last month?

Categories: Recurring Series

Always… Sometimes… Never…

It’s Friday! Hooray! We are in the single-digit countdown for my cruise – 9 days to go! Next weekend is going to be busy, busy, busy but this weekend will be fairly low-key and I’m excited to spend some time reading, working on my fiction novel, and getting in solid workouts. For today, I thought it would be fun to do an “always, sometimes, never” post. (Idea stolen from Lisa!) The last time I did this type of post (almost a year ago to the day, actually!), I wrote it about cruising so today, I’ll keep things random and about my everyday life. Sound good? Let’s dive in!

Play with my hair. Allllllll the time. I am forever playing with my hair. I love twirling it around my fingers, running my hands through it and messing up my part, playing with my bangs. Sigh. It’s one of those habits I can’t seem to break!

Need to have my ceiling fan on when sleeping. I don’t know if I need it because it keeps my room cool (I like an ice-cold room when I sleep!), or because it makes a comforting hum that makes it easy to fall asleep to. Whatever it is, if I ever try to go to sleep without my ceiling fan on, everything just feels wrong.

Take off my shoes at work. I read a blog post the other day that implored women to never, ever take our shoes off at work. How unprofessional! Psht. Whatever. It’s not like I’m walking around the office shoeless, just when I’m at my desk. Being shoeless with my legs curled under me is my favorite way to work. If that’s unprofessional, then so be it!

Let my dog kiss my face. I know, I know, I knooooow. Some of you are totally grossed out by that. My mom doesn’t let Dutch kiss her face, but I honestly have never minded it! I’m just a dog person to my core and one of their ways of showing happiness and excitement and love is by slobbery kisses. Dutch would full-on make out with me if I let him (which I don’t!), but I don’t mind if he plasters me with some kisses when I come home. It’s not like anyone else is lining up to kiss me… 😉

Think about moving to an entirely new state and starting over. Often, I try to picture myself moving to an entirely new state and building a new life somewhere different. Taking the leap and doing something so completely out of my comfort zone. Something that would shake up my life, and cause me to grow in leaps and bounds. I don’t know if it’s something I even really want, or if it just sounds fun and exciting and crazy and I want people to think I am fun and exciting and crazy. Ah. It’s fun to imagine, but I honestly can’t imagine not living in Florida!

Wonder if I’ll ever find My Person. Sometimes, I get really dejected when I think about dating and how I’ve yet to find someone who affects me. Someone I could be myself around – in all my weird, awkward glory – and who I could see myself building a life with. The majority of guys I meet just don’t do it for me. Sure, they’re nice guys and fun to be with, but ultimately, I have a very specific idea of what I want, and I’m not willing to settle for anything less than radical, life-changing love. I want to believe My Person is out there, but it can be very lonesome and disheartening to realize you aren’t close at all to finding him.

Spend my lunch break reading snarky blogging forums. Oh, this is such a guilty pleasure. It’s entertaining and funny, and sometimes really, really enlightening.

Take Dutch on walks in my pajamas. To be fair, this only happens if it’s early in the morning (before 7am) or later at night (after 8pm) because I’m too lazy to put on real clothes. Nobody is usually out at this time and it’s usually a quick walk around our apartment. I don’t know why I feel like defending myself but… yeah. I do this.

Listen to music when I’m writing. It’s too distracting for me. Complete silence works much better. Sometimes, I’ll put on classical music if I need to drown out background noise (like this week, at work, when construction was happening in the office!), but mostly, I just like working in silence.

Knew how much protein I was getting daily, until I started tracking it in MFP. MFP gives me 73 grams a day for protein and I almost always eat more than that. I eat meat with almost every meal, so that’s mostly where it’s coming from. It’s just eye-opening to see how much protein I’m consuming and that a few meatless dishes probably wouldn’t hurt. (Now, if only I could find a dish that looked appetizing…)

Go a day without reading a book. Reading is just my thing, you know? I am always reading, whether I’m working out, getting ready for work, winding down for the night, taking a bubble bath, in the car, etc. Since I was a kid, there has never been a day that has gone by where I have not sat down for at least 15 minutes to read a book.

Use our fireplace. For some reason, our apartment came with a fireplace. I do not know why. We live in Florida. The coldest it got this winter was maybe 40 degrees. While it’s a nice addition to the apartment (that we didn’t have to pay extra for), it’s wholly unnecessary.

Your turn! What’s one of your “always,” “sometimes,” and “never?”

Categories: Recurring Series

Virtual Coffee Date

It’s Friday! How about we prepare for this holiday weekend with a virtual coffee date? I’m drinking a steaming hot cup of coffee, sweetened with creamer and a dash of sugar. Let’s dive right into our chat, yeah?

If we were having a coffee today… I would begin by talking about the DietBet I’m currently participating in. You guys! It is going so well. The biggest change I have made is with my exercise. After struggling for months and months and months with finding the motivation to exercise, I’ve been getting up early every day like it ain’t no thing. I don’t even struggle to get out of bed when my alarm goes off at 5am. I just get up! Like I’m some badass workout queen or something! I think committing myself to this DietBet and having accountability in our Facebook group has been instrumental. Plus! I’ve been tracking in MyFitnessPal every single day since the ‘Bet started. In the morning, I simply input all the food I’m going to eat for the day, so that way I have a plan for my eating & I don’t have to open the app every single time I eat something. I find this system works best for me. I have my second weigh-in tomorrow and I’m crossing my fingers I see a loss. (I’m so paranoid I’ve gained!)

If we were having coffee today… I would also mention how I’m thinking of buying a heart rate monitor – and probably ask if you have a good recommendation for one! I’ve wanted to get one for months, but I’ve kept putting it off, but now that I’m counting calories, I think it would be super useful. Not only would it give me a slightly more accurate number than what MFP tells me, but it would help me to see how hard (or not hard!) I am working out, to make sure I’m always getting the fullest potential of my workouts.

If we were having coffee today… I would tell you how excited I am to leave on my cruise two weeks from Sunday! I haven’t been on a proper vacation since around this time last year, so I am well overdue. Every time I think about being on a ship again, I get so excited. I’ve mentioned it so many times, but cruising is truly my favorite way to vacation and I just can’t wait to get away.

If we were having coffee today… I would probably discuss the fact that I’ve decided to disable my online dating profiles for the time being. There are multiple reasons why I decided on this, but the biggest reason is that I really want to take the time to focus on myself right now. My biggest priority currently is my health and losing weight, and I don’t want anything to take my focus or attention away from that. I’m just at a point in my life where I can be completely selfish with my time and energy, and dating is not something I feel like extending those to.

If we were having coffee today… we would most likely talk about Easter and I would admit that I have no idea what my family is doing! My mom’s fiance is coming back to town after being on the road since early January, so we may end up doing what we did last year – going to church & then grilling out. That sounds A-OK to me!

If we were meeting for a coffee date, what would you like to tell me? What are your plans for the Easter weekend?