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Stephany Writes

Categories: Relationships

He’s Four.

BabyJovy

He thinks Team Umizoomi is the best show on tv.

He carries his stuffed Goofy around everywhere he goes.

He is obsessed with butts. He took 20 pictures of the aforementioned Goofy’s butt on my brother’s phone.

He always wants pizza and cookies and juice in his “airplane” cup (or sometimes his Santa cup. Or his bunny cup.) when he comes over.

He likes crashing cars, making the silliest faces on Mr. Potato Head, and coloring.

He wants to be a superhero when he grows up.

He is newly obsessed with puzzles and can put together 24-piece ones by himself.

He can recognize all of his letters but “x”.

He is the spitting image of my brother at his age.

jovyat2

He is 100% pure rough & tumble boy.

He can write his name, assist himself in the bathroom, and has helped make cookies many times.

He calls my mom “Drayma” and me “Titi Steph”.

He can have full conversations with us and understands humor and teasing.

He absolutely adores Dutch and thinks Dutch loves him back just as much.

He can be a major grump and has tantrums when he doesn’t get his way.

He attends school where he has a trio of best friends… and can hold his own in a fight. Just sayin’.

He lights up like a firecracker when my mom is around.

He loves watching Youtube videos of Disney parades and the Shamu show at Seaworld on my computer.

He is lively and spry and energetic.

He can go from the grumpiest mood to the silliest, happiest mood like THAT.

He makes life the most fun it’s ever been and there is never a dull moment when he’s around.

He is four.

He has turned our worlds upside down in the best possible way.

He is my nephew and I am the luckiest girl in the world to be his aunt.

jovyat3

Mom: I have to give you a bath! Remember, I was supposed to give you one yesterday and you didn’t want to and I got in trouble with your daddy. He yelled at me.

Jovy turns around, puts his hands on his hips and says to his father, indignant: Why did you yell at my drayma? What’s the big idea?!

Happy birthday, buddy. You are one special, amazing, incredible boy and watching you grow up in just four short years has been a privilege and the best time of my life. I can’t wait to see what this year brings you.

Categories: Relationships

Good Days and Bad Days

Some days, being single is easy. It’s fun and I’m completely happy and content in my oneness. I don’t get sad seeing couples around me or hearing about another friend finding love. I feel at ease with my station in life, patiently awaiting the day it will be my turn.

But then those other days arise. They are the days when being single isn’t fun. It isn’t easy. I am not content. Seeing couples and hearing of friends finding love fills me with sadness and jealousy. My hands feel empty without another’s wrapped around it. My body physically aches to have a man to wrap my arms around, put my lips on, open my heart to. I wonder what I’m doing wrong, why love hasn’t become a possibility for me yet, when will it be my turn?

When those bad days come, and I promise it isn’t often, it makes me sit back and wonder how content I am in my singleness. If I’m truly content, should these thoughts even enter my mind? What do they really say about me?

I realize that I am content in my singleness. I am perfectly fine being alone. I don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. I always had a strong suspicion I would spend the majority of my twenties single and, deep down, I don’t think the reason I have been single for so long is that there is something wrong with me. Sure, maybe I haven’t reached out for opportunities to meet guys like people think I should, but I’m okay with that for now. Just like everything in life, I am going to have good days and bad days in singleness. Not every day is happiness and sunshine, just like not every day at your job is filled with happiness or that every run you go on will be awesome. It’s only when the bad days outweigh the good days that you should become worried. It’s when you can’t pick yourself up out of the negativity and find the good.

Sometimes, I have bad days. But mostly, I have good days. I have no doubt I will find love someday, as long as I keep my mind and heart open. For now, I’m happy as a single gal.

Categories: Relationships

My Favorite Boy

Today, my sweet nephew turns three years old.

Three.

It’s insane to think it’s been three entire years since he entered this world and completely changed our lives.

Every new age and stage becomes my favorite. And age two has been delightful. His personality has developed and he’s become more feisty and funny. He’s stubborn and the spitting image of my brother.

For some reason, I was always really worried he wouldn’t develop a good sense of humor. I’ve known too many kids who cannot handle being teased, but this kid can dish it out and take it. His sense of humor is something I love most about him and I especially love how we already have our little inside jokes. I can only imagine we’ll develop more and more as he grows up.

He loves taking pictures and always seems to find my camera when he’s over our apartment. He snaps photo after photo after photo. They’re usually pretty blurry since I always make sure the flash is off because he likes to take photos of himself sometimes. He’s actually a pretty good photographer, which makes me wonder if it’s something he’ll develop a passion for later in life, or if it’s just something fun to do for now. He’s started doing this thing where he takes a photo of one of us, turns the camera around to look at the screen, and then show the picture to us, saying, “Aww!”

One of my most favorite developments of this past year is watching the relationship between him and my mother grow. When he was a baby and toddler, he would usually cry whenever we went to see him. It was heartbreaking, although he would usually calm down after a few minutes. And now? He loves coming to our apartment. He loves titi abuela (as he calls her) and is incredibly possessive of her. He absolutely loves talking on the phone with her and she puts her heart and soul into taking care of him when he’s over. He takes a bubble bath every single time he comes to visit. (Every. Single. Times.) I mean, I always knew I had the best mother in the world but now I know my kids will one day have the best grandmother in the world, too.

In every new picture I see of him, all I can think is: he’s a boy now. He’s not a baby. He’s lost the babyness in his face and I can already tell he’s going to be lanky and tall like my brother. I always thought the baby age would be my favorite and while that age is pretty amazing in its own right, this age is also pretty awesome as well. Being able to talk to him on the phone, laugh with him, and play crazy made-up games with him is something I never really thought of when I heard I was going to be an aunt. But it’s the most amazing part of all this.

Being an aunt is an amazing job. I knew it would be a fun gig, but never knew it would be this fun or fill my heart with this much joy.

Are you an aunt? What do you love most about being an aunt?

Categories: Relationships

He’s Still the Best

Today, a very special guy in my life turns 25 years old.

My brother is one of the good guys. He’s dedicated, loyal, and passionate. He’s responsible, caring, and funny. He’s not one to blame others for what life has given him and always steps up when he needs to. And I get to call him my brother.

We are just 14 months apart so we grew up as each others’ best friends and worst enemies. We had terrible fights and I don’t know how my parents dealt with our bickering without tearing their hair out. But we had incredible times together. Times spent playing MarioKart and Donkey Kong on Super Nintendo, with a big bucket of popcorn by our side. Staying up on Christmas Eve, playing board games and doing whatever we could to stay awake but never failing to fall asleep before 3:00am. Watching TV shows together with our Little Debbies nightly snack. Walking to the bus stop together. Letting him talk me into skipping school.

It’s only been recently that I’ve realized what an impact my brother has had on my life. My father has been a bad influence on me, my self-esteem and my self-worth. But my brother has done just the opposite. He’s been there for me, always has my back, and is the one building up that self-esteem and self-worth that my dad left in shambles. He knows exactly what I went through with my dad as he was right along for the ride, too.

We have a strong connection, the two of us. Our inside jokes are aplenty and make no sense to anyone but us (as all good inside jokes do). We can talk football for hours but have also had some very deep conversations. We seem to have broken the Fantasy Football Fight curse that happens to us every year, but we still have our moments. We are both incredibly stubborn so put two stubborn people in a fight and you’ve got a losing battle.

One of the most extraordinary things about my brother is his relationship with his son. Ten days from now, my nephew will turn three years old. (No, I’m not ready to talk about it yet. I’m pretending this is not happening.) I’ve been able to see my brother hold his baby and feed him for the first time, so nervous about what to do and how to hold him. I’ve seen him rough-house with him, discipline him, and get frustrated with him. I’ve seen them laugh together and he is always ready with stories of new things he’s doing. He is the proudest of that boy and I am most proud of him as a father. I see none of my own father in him, even when he gets frustrated with his behavior. My nephew is so lucky to have someone like him as a father. He will never have to go through what we went through with our father. (And I also can’t say enough about my sister-in-law as a mother. She’s pretty fantastic in her own right, which means my nephew is THE luckiest child.)

Today, my brother turns 25 years old. It’s crazy to think of all we have been through and how close we remain to this day. I know his life has taken a different path than he envisioned, but I also know he doesn’t let life get him down. He’s one of the most positive forces in my life and I can only hope he knows how much he means to me.

Happy birthday, bro. You’re still the best.

Categories: Relationships

August 13, 2010

One year ago today, I was brushing my teeth at 6:00 a.m., almost ready to leave for work. It was a Friday and it was the last Water Day of the summer. I wasn’t looking forward to how crazy it would be.

One year ago today, I heard my dog whining and pawing at the door but shrugged it off, thinking he probably thought he heard something. I continued brushing my teeth.

One year ago today, I heard my mom open the door and didn’t think anything of it until I heard her say my name at the bathroom door. I turned around, took one look at her, and promptly spilled all the water and toothpaste that was in my mouth as my mouth open wide in shock, as her face and clothes were covered in blood.

One year ago today, I heard my mom say the words, “I was hit by a car. I think I need to go to the emergency room.” Words I never expected to hear, even with all her early morning runs outside.

One year ago today, I drove my mom to a deserted emergency room where we were quickly seen. There were tests to be run, police to be called, and information to be given. Once it was clear this wasn’t a hit-and-run and my mom had left the scene willingly (she was scared out of her mind and it still irks me that these people who hit her didn’t force her to stay or at least give her their information), the police left and it was simply a case for the doctors.

One year ago today, I breathed sighs of relief as my mom was cleared of any head trauma or internal injuries. I watched a surgeon put 18 stitches above her left eyebrow. I winced as the cuts on her hands, elbows, and knees were cleaned and bandaged. We found out she had broken her elbow.

 

One year ago today, I took my mom home after 5 hours in the emergency room. I watched her stumble and fall while I tried to get her into the house. I watched her eyes roll back into her head and never again do I want to be that scared.

It was the scariest morning of my life and what followed were weeks of taking care of the household and my mother. But when I think about what August 2010 could have been like – scheduling her funeral, learning to live life without a mother -, I feel so blessed and thankful God granted me this opportunity to show my mother how much she means to me.

I think about today. August 13, 2011. It could have been the one-year anniversary of my mother’s death. When I think about all we have been through in the past year – my graduation, our cruise, countless moments together, all the moments watching her be a grandma to my sweet nephew – I just can’t imagine what this year would have been like if it had been without her. One of my biggest fears in life is losing my mother. She is more than a mother to me. She is my best friend, my rock, my confidante, my support system and biggest cheerleader, the person who still picks me up when I fall down and never fails to cheer me up when I’m sad. Even thinking about going through this world without her is unbearable.

It’s been a year. One full year exactly since my mom was hit by a car. She celebrated by running 8 miles this morning and then attending a Weight Watchers meeting where she finally got back to her Lifetime status. I’d say she just came full circle.

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Welcome!

Welcome!

Hi, I'm Stephany! (She/her) I'm a 30-something single lady, living in Florida. I am a bookworm, cat mom, podcaster, and reality TV junkie. I identify as an Enneagram 9, an introvert, and a Highly Sensitive Person. On this blog, you will find stories about my life, book reviews, travel experiences, and more. Welcome!

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