Stephany Writes

Categories: Travel

Traveling While Anxious

I have generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety, and I am a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Put all of these things together in one person, and, well, you get someone who finds traveling enormously difficult. As much as I love to travel and see new places, I also spend a lot of time worrying about it. So much so that I sometimes wonder if it’s even worth it. Is it worth feeling so anxious for this? Sometimes, I think it is, but not always.

For example, my last big trip was the seven-day cruise I took with my mom in May of last year. I have been on many cruises, as is well documented on this blog. But this cruise was different. I spent the entirety just wanting the trip to be over. I didn’t know it then, but I was entering a period of depression, and that’s most likely what led to feeling so anxious on the cruise. We had booked some more active excursions, too, including a zip-lining excursion in Honduras, and I was just so scared something terrible was going to happen to either my mom and me. (And, look, these are not irrational fears: on one cruise, my mom fell off her bike and down a ravine during an excursion and I broke my ankle during a hiking/zip-lining adventure.)

Thankfully, I have more tools at my disposal this time around. I’m on a higher dose of anxiety medication, I’m in therapy, and I know the warning signs to look out for. So I’m hoping my trip to Ireland will go much more smoothly, mentally, than my cruise last year.

Before I head off to the castles and cliffs of Ireland, however, I wanted to talk about some of the issues I experience as a generally anxious person. In doing so, I hope to normalize my anxiety and show others that the worries they have aren’t unique to them. You’re not alone in this. I promise. 🙂

Anxiety Issue #1: Worrying about something bad happening in the days leading up to the trip.

I started feeling this way last Friday, and I could immediately identify it for what it was: the age-old panic I always feel right before a vacation begins, the worry that something terrible is going to happen to either me or my mom and we won’t be able to go on our vacation. I start having to check in with my mom more frequently than usual, and I do it in a very odd way. Like, I’ll ask her a stupid question just to make sure she responds and that way, I know she’s alive. Last year before our cruise, I remember a morning where I checked in with her and didn’t get a response for hours. I was convinced something terrible had happened when, in reality, she had just had a busy morning full of meetings and didn’t have time to respond.

This constant worry can be so exhausting. I feel like I’m constantly on edge and it means I’m spending less time anticipating my trip and more time worrying about what could go wrong beforehand.

Anxiety Issue #2: Worrying about all the things that can go on wrong while on the trip.

Ah, yes. Not only do I worry about what could go wrong before the trip, but also all the terrible things that could happen while on the trip. Some of the things I’ve been worried about for Ireland:

  • Learning to drive on the other side of the road – I am very worried about this! But also excited, which is why I really want to do it. I want the experience of driving on the other side of the road. I have booked a car to take us from Galway to Kilkenny, and then from Kilkenny to Dublin (not all on the same day). But if my anxiety ratchets up too much, we can nix the car for the train. The car just gives us more flexibility and also allows us to stop at the Rock of Cashel on our way to Kilkenny.
  • Making it to the train station on time – Logistics are always a huge anxiety trigger for me. I’m always worried about being exactly where I need to be on time. As such, we’ll be getting to the train station at least 45 minutes before the train leaves so I’m not freaking out beforehand.
  • Getting caught up in customs – I don’t even know what I’m worried about with this. I’ve just never been through the process, so I get panicky about it from time to time.
  • Not scheduling enough downtime – Our days will be busy while we’re in Ireland because we only have six full days to see everything we want to see. We’re basically exploring a new town every day, so there won’t be a lot of downtime. However, there will be some long train rides and I don’t expect us to be out late at night. (Most mornings we need to be up by 7am, which will feel like 2am our time, so I expect many early nights.)

Those are some of my biggest worries and they really aren’t anything like my worries for my last cruise, where it was more like “will I die on this zipline excursion?!?!” And I have a plan in place for every worry, which eases some of my panic.

Anxiety Issue #3: Feeling uncomfortable in new settings.

This worry falls under: Traveling While Having Social Anxiety. Feeling uncomfortable in new settings is a hallmark of social anxiety, and I expect to feel a lot of that while I’m in Ireland. There will be loud pubs and a new bed to sleep in nearly every day and new sights to see. I’m going to feel very out of my element, and that’s not my favorite thing. And when I feel that way, the only thing I want is to be back home, in a familiar environment and in my comfy bed. That’s how I felt last year on my cruise, and I really do not want to feel this way in Ireland. I want to enjoy each day. I want to be present, not looking ahead to what’s next and how many days until I can be home.

I’m not exactly sure how I’m going to remain present during this trip, other than trying to be very mindful of my thoughts and journaling when I feel the anxiety creeping in.

***

So, that’s how my anxiety manifests in the days and weeks leading up to a vacation. There is a lot of anticipation and excitement, please don’t think there’s not! I can barely sleep at night because I’m so excited about what awaits me next week. I spend all of my free time looking up restaurants to visit in Ireland and have worn the hell out of my copy of Rick Steves Ireland. But I wanted to write all this out as a way to normalize it. This is just the way my brain operates; it doesn’t mean anything other than that. And, hopefully, if your brain operates similarly, you can take comfort knowing you’re not alone and we’re in this together.

What do you get anxious about before a trip?

Categories: Travel

Anna Maria Island, FL | A Beach Weekend

Our third annual girls’ weekend is in the books! We took a short getaway to Anna Maria Island, which is a sleepy little town an hour south of us. We stayed in a cute condo that was steps away from the beach, and it was actually a super chill weekend. Of course, considering the majority of us are introverts and all of us are major book nerds, it makes total sense that’s the kind of weekend we had.

We arrived on Friday and started our weekend by taking a walk on the beach (and our first group selfie!) and then ordering pizza. We played games, went back down to the beach to watch the sunset, and played some more games before calling it a night by 11 p.m.

The condo we stayed in slept eight – three bedrooms with queen beds and a pullout sofa in the living room. I took the pullout so I could sleep by myself (and because I’m self-conscious about my snoring) and also managed to wrangle six pillows for myself. I love sleeping with a ton of pillows and found four extra ones in the closets and had two friends graciously give me a pillow of theirs since they only wanted one. It was divine. I also took melatonin both nights to help me sleep since sleeping on vacation often isn’t easy for me, and that helped me get two great nights of sleep.

On Saturday, we were surprised by a clear forecast! The night before, I had looked at the weather and it showed 80% chance of rain all day, so we were prepared to spend the day inside. Two of my friends cooked breakfast for the group and then we packed up and headed down to the beach for the morning. It was a beautiful day and I spent it finishing the romance novel I was reading and chatting with my friends. I also ventured into the ocean for a bit, but the waves were crazy and kept knocking me down.

After a few hours on the beach, a few friends and I headed back to the condo where I rinsed off the sand and ate leftover pizza for lunch. When I found out my other friends had relocated to the pool, I couldn’t get my swimsuit back on fast enough. 🙂 I spent a few hours down at the pool, chatting and playing pseudo-volleyball.

Then I took a real shower and got somewhat ready for the evening. We went to a taqueria for dinner, and rode in style! While Anna Maria has a great trolley system, we decided to take the “monkey bus,” which is a free ride system that will take you anywhere you want around the island. (They ask for tips for the drivers.) It was a lot of fun and nice to be picked up and dropped off right where we wanted. The food at the taqueria was divine and I loved my tacos and most especially the tub of guacamole we ordered. 🙂 After dinner, we walked around the island for a while before stumbling on an ice cream shop. I mean, you have to have ice cream while you’re on the beach, right? Right. I ordered a chocolate chip brownie topped with ice cream and it was a very good decision.

We took the monkey bus back home, and this time it was a crazy ride, as they packed us in there. At one point, there were 20 of us crammed into a tiny bus! It was not the most fun for my friends with claustrophobia, but we tried to make the best of it. (I had to laugh, though, at everyone getting on the bus to go to dinner while we were coming back. Wild and crazy, that’s us!)

Once back at the condo, we had a little celebration for our bride-to-be, B., who is getting married in November. We popped champagne and took it down to the beach to watch the sunset.

Afterward, we went back to the condo to play some games, which I think was the highlight for all of us. We played a game that had all of us rolling on the floor with laughter, tears pouring from our eyes. It’s the kind of memory that makes me start giggling every time I remember it. 🙂 Those are the best kinds of moments.

Our last day was Sunday, and we had breakfast at the condo before taking a walk down the beach one last time. Then we just sat around the condo for a while, reminiscing about the weekend and making plans for our next girls’ trip (we’re thinking Boston next fall!). I feel so very grateful that I have these women in my life, women who make me a better person, and that we’re able to take this time together. I know it’s unusual for women in their thirties to have these kinds of weekends – they’re usually reserved for bachelorette parties – but it’s something we all prioritize because it’s important to us. We need these weekends together, and it’s amazing that this all started due to a book club that has morphed into something more than my wildest dreams. While we still meet every month for book club, we’re more than that. We’re best friends, confidantes, travel companions, and sounding boards.

I wish I could tell my younger self to be patient, that the friend group that I desired so badly would find me in time. And that what I imagined couldn’t come close to the magic that this group of girlfriends gives me on a daily basis.

Categories: Travel

Isla Roatan, Honduras | South Shore Zip-Line Adventures

Day 5 of our cruise was my moment of truth. It was the moment I had been worrying about for weeks and the anxiety came on strong that morning.

It was the day we would be zip-lining in Honduras, but more than that, we would be doing the first-ever forward-facing zip-line. To say I was nervous would be an understatement.

I had a really bad feeling about the day, but when you have anxiety, that usually means absolutely nothing. I had to remind myself, “Steph, you sometimes have a ‘bad feeling’ when driving to work. You can’t trust your bad feelings.” And I knew I couldn’t. I have bad feelings all the damn time, and nothing ever comes true. It’s just who I am as a person and I’m learning to accept it about me.

So, stomach churning, I got ready for the day in our cabin. We went to the lido deck for breakfast and then got off the ship and into Isla Roatan, an island off the northern coast of Honduras. We met up with our tour group and I started feeling a little bit better about the excursion, mostly because there were young kids in our group (the youngest was probably 8!) and because some of the other people mentioned that they were a little scared about the forward-facing zip-line. Whew… glad it’s not just me!

We made our way onto the bus that would take us to South Shore Zip-Line Adventures, where we would enjoy our excursion. It was a 45-minute drive to the park, but it went by fast as our tour guide told us all about life in Honduras. Some interesting facts:

  • Honduras has two official languages: English and Spanish
  • The last hurricane to hit the area was 1998. Hurricane Mitch came wailing onto the island, leaving a path of destruction in its wake. As if that wasn’t terrible enough, the hurricane went back into the ocean, gained strength, and hit the island for a second time. Can. You. Even. Imagine. It killed 7,000 people in Honduras alone. I dearly hope hurricanes stay out of their path from here on out.
  • High school students take classes in shifts: 7AM-12PM, 12:30PM-5:30PM, or 6PM-11PM. This was super interesting to me, and it made me wonder which shift I would want if I was a student in Honduras. Probably the first one!

Once we got to the park, we were told we could rent a locker for $5 to put our belongings for safekeeping. I opted to also leave my phone in my bag because I was too nervous about dropping it, which means I don’t have any photos of the forward-facing zip-line.

Anyway, we were suited up for this zip-line, which they adorably call the “Zuperman” because of the fact that you’re basically flying in the air like Superman when you take off. (Superman + zip-line = Zuperman!) It was basically like a full-body harness that allowed the guides to clip you in at various spots: your upper back, lower back, and around your legs.

My mom and I were last in the group to go, which means we got to see everyone else do it! That was really helpful for my nerves because I got to see everyone else make it to the next platform without dying! 😉

We got clipped into the harness and then off we went! And, guys, it was incredible. It’s so hard to describe how amazing it felt to fly through the air like this. And I think it was because of all the worrying I did beforehand that it felt even more awesome. Like, I had conquered this major fear and punched my anxiety in the teeth. It’s just another example I can turn to when my anxiety wants to rear its ugly head and tell me not to do something.

They have two Zuperman zip lines at South Shore, so it was fun to get to do it again! This time around, I wasn’t nervous at all… just incredibly excited to fly through the air for a second time. (Honestly, I wish I could have done another round of the Zupermans! They were just way too much fun.)

Once we were done with the Zuperman zip-lines, we boarded a bus and headed back to the top of the park where they took off our full-body harnesses and put on a regular zip-lining harness. This was my fifth time zip-lining, so I kinda felt like an old pro at it! We had to wait for another group to head out before we started, so there was some time and sit around and take pictures.

Oh, and at this moment the guides suggested bringing our phones along for zip-lining. They said that they would make sure we didn’t lose them, so I decided to trust them. Until my mom and I were standing at my locker and she kept telling me that I should just bring my phone because I “never drop it.” She kept repeating that phrase until I said, “Okay, you’ve totally jinxed me. We’re bringing your phone.” LOL. She has insurance on her phone and I don’t, so I figured it was a safer bet. (And spoiler alert, no phones were dropped during zip-lining!)

The next part of our excursion was the regular zip-lining and after conquering my fear of the Zuperman, I had no fear of this part. We would traverse eleven zip-lines, which is way more zip-lines than I’ve ever done on an excursion so it really felt as if we got our money’s worth. With some zip-lining excursions, I feel like I want to go back and do it all over again, but with this one, I felt pretty satisfied and tired and ready to be done by the time we came to the end.

Zip lines come in two forms: the ones that stop on their own and the ones that require the individual to slow themselves down using a glove. This one was the latter and I was a little concerned about it because I remember how difficult it was to stop the last time I had to use this method. This time, though, it was easy-peasy! I think the lines were easier to navigate and I got the hang of it pretty quickly.

And I just need to take a second to talk about the zip-line guides at South Shore. They are amazing. They just had a blast the entire time and made me feel super comfortable and safe. One of the guides even held my mom’s iPhone for the majority of the excursion and got some great pictures of us! I was so grateful to him for doing that.

This adventure was one for the record books, too, because not only was it my first time doing a forward-facing zip-line, but it was also my first time zip-lining upside down! The guides offered this option for one of the lines and I was the first one to volunteer to do it because when else am I going to get a chance to do something like that?! I felt completely safe because I was strapped in with another guide. He told me to let go and I did and there I was, zip-lining upside down through the jungle. WHAT. It was such a cool experience, made even better that the guide captured it all on my mom’s iPhone. (My mom also zip-lined upside down because she’s ridiculously cool like that.)

Anyway, I think it’s safe to say that South Shore Zip-Line in Honduras is my favorite zip-lining experience to date. There was very little hiking involved (just some stairs to navigate from time to time, but there was always a rail to hold onto) and all of the zip lines were so different and made each experience feel unique. I already know that I want to go back soon and do this adventure again.

After zip-lining, we boarded the same bus from before to go back up the mountain, but our excursion wasn’t over – nope, we still had a nature walk to do. It’s funny; I was actually more nervous about this than the normal zip-lining because it would involve some hiking and walking on suspension bridges. And the nature walk began by walking down 200+ steps, ack! I knew I held a lot of people up as I walked down those steps, holding on tightly to the rail and taking my time. Oh, well. I’ve learned my lesson and it’s that I cannot trust my feet. 🙂

Anyway, the nature walk was okay, but nothing spectacular. I wouldn’t have minded skipping it because I don’t feel as if I learned anything new and our tour guide was a little underwhelming. Plus, we had to climb up those 200+ steps at the end and I was not a fan of that, especially since my legs were tired.

All in all, though, I want to shout about this excursion from the rooftops. It was perfect and everything I wanted it to be. I’m so glad I faced my fear and did the forward-facing zip-line because it was an experience I’ll never forget. And I highly recommend South Shore Zip-Line if you’re ever in Isla Roatan and want to do something completely out of the ordinary.

South Shore Zip-Line Adventures offers various zip-lining and eco-park tours. They are the only zip-line company in Isla Roatan that is fully certified by the Association of Challenge Course Technology (ACCT), which means all of their zip-lines and gear undergo yearly inspections. It is located on the southwest tip of the island, just five minutes from West End and West Bay.

Categories: Travel

Belize City, Belize | Bacab Eco Park

In Belize, cruise ships have to drop an anchor a few miles away from the port and then guests are taken by boat to the island. It’s a pretty common practice, something my mom and I are very experienced at by now, but it’s always a little annoying because it means a lot of sitting and waiting. They try to fill up each boat with hundreds of guests, so it takes a while as they load up the boats and also when the guests depart the boats.

Since we had an excursion, we left on a boat that was specifically set aside for guests with excursions. It took about 40 minutes to get to the island, but the views were outstanding and it was such a beautiful day that I couldn’t complain. Once we finally got off the boat, Mom and I hightailed to our tour group where we were funneled onto a bus to take the journey to Bacab Eco Park.

The ride to the park was fairly long – probably around 45 minutes. During the ride, our tour guide told us all about Belize and its culture, as well as pointed out some interesting sights along the way. Here are some of the things I learned:

  • Public education is not free in Belize after middle school. Parents have to pay to send their children to high school, so if they have multiple children, they have to make a decision on which one to send.
  • Doctors and nurses aren’t in high demand, as most people practice bush medicine (i.e., natural healing). During our horseback riding, the tour guides pointed out different trees, bushes, plants, etc., and told us the natural healing properties of them.
  • The official language of Belize is English, but in social situations, most Belizians speak Creole.

Once we got to Bacab Eco Park, we were met by our tour guide for the horseback riding adventure. He took us on a very slow walking tour through the grounds. At this point, I was beginning to regret wearing long pants because I was so damn hot in them. It was probably not my best decision, but I wanted to be properly attired for horseback riding.

After that, it was onto the horses! We were told to put on a helmet (dorky bicycle helmets, sigh) and then, one by one, we were assigned to horses based on our experience. I was given Sydney to ride and she was a pretty low-key and easy horse. She was a little slower than I would have liked, but she kept up a good pace for the ride. We stayed near the middle of the pack for most of it.

When I went riding in Puerto Rico, I remember feeling a bit uncomfortable in the saddle and feeling grateful when we finished the ride. But this time around, I felt so comfortable and at peace on my horse. I could have ridden for hours, I think! It was just so much fun to be in the jungle on horseback and enjoy all the sights. We spent about an hour riding and it was seriously the greatest time. I took way too many photos!

Once we were finished horseback riding, we trekked over to the pool area where our lockers were. My mom and I wasted no time getting something to eat and drink! We had definitely worked up an appetite after being in the sun all morning long. My mom got the local beer (she loves sampling the local beer and always really enjoys it!) and I got a soda, and then switched to a mixed drink that was very strong. Our excursion included lunch, which was a traditional Belizian feast of beans and rice, chicken, and plantains. I decided to get that while my mom ordered something off the menu. And then I proceeded to eat half her lunch, too, because when on vacation, right? Obviously, I was one hungry girl!

After eating, we hightailed to the bathroom to change into shorts, and man, did that feel great! We brought our swimsuits in the hopes we could take a dip in the pool, but there just wasn’t enough time. We had maybe 30 minutes to relax before we would have to leave and it just didn’t feel worth the effort. Instead, we relaxed in the hammocks and put our feet in the water for a short time.

Then, it was time to go back to the bus. My mom and I were some of the first people on the bus and I was all settled in and ready to take a short nap on the way back to the port when my mom started rummaging through her bag in a panic. You know, that panic. The “omg-where-is-my-phone” panic. She turned to me and said, “I think I left my phone by the pool.”

OY VEY.

So she had to rush back to the pool to get it and mind you, this is a woman who is notorious for tripping and falling over herself. On our last cruise, she tripped while walking and bruised her knee badly. So, I was worried that a) she would fall; b) that she wouldn’t find her phone; and c) that the bus would leave without her.

More and more people were getting on the bus, and soon, they were ready to depart but my mom was still nowhere to be seen. AHHH. The tour guide came on board and started counting the people and said, “Okay, somehow we’re missing two people.” And I had to stand up and say, “My mom had to run back to get her phone. Please don’t leave without her.”

Thankfully, the tour guide was super nice about it and just said, “Hey, I live here. No skin off my nose.” HA.

After what felt like HOURS, I finally saw my mom running back to the bus with her phone in hand. Thank the Lord! She got back on the bus and sat down next to me, breathing heavily. She told me all about her experience trying to find the pool again (her sense of direction is laughably bad, haha) and then how one of the little kids who was helping us during our horseback riding excursion had to help her find her way back.

Never a dull moment with my mom. 🙂

It was a fun day, though, and I’m glad we picked this excursion. Our tour guides were fantastic and the horses were great for beginning riders. I wish I had more time to spend at the pool because it looked super fun with a waterfall and loungers placed in the shallow end of the pool. Next time!

Bacab Eco Park is located 20 minutes from Belize City and features a wide range of adventures: horseback riding, jungle biking, kayaking, nature trails, and more. They are open every day from 10 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. 

Categories: Travel

Cozumel, Mexico | Mr. Sancho’s Beach Club

I’ve been to Cozumel on just about every cruise I’ve been on. It’s one of the more popular stops for cruises and I’ve done a lot of different things there: touring Mayan ruins, zip-lining, participating in the Amazing Cozumel Race, and snorkeling. At this point, scrolling through the list of excursions on the Carnival website isn’t all that interesting. Originally, we planned to do a fancy all-inclusive resort to the tune of $110 per person. It was going to be at a secluded little spot in Cozumel and looked really fun. Unfortunately, when we were finally ready to book it, it was sold out! Womp, womp.

My mom told me about Mr. Sancho’s Beach Club, a recommendation that came from one of her friends who cruises regularly. Mr. Sancho’s is their go-to excursion in Cozumel, and after one look at the website, I was sold. It was basically exactly the same as the excursion we were previously looking at – an all-inclusive resort, beach, swimming pools, etc. – but at half the cost. Sign me the heck up!

We arrived at Mr. Sancho’s pretty early in the day, around 9:30. We took a taxi with another couple, and it was a quick 10-minute drive over to the beach club. We paid our fee, and then we were in!

Since we arrived so early, there were plenty of loungers for us to grab. We opted for two loungers right by the pool because we knew we would want to spend more time there than on the beach. (For two Florida girls, we really aren’t beach people!) Our server for the day introduced himself to us and handed us a menu of food and drinks, and took our first drink order (the local beer for my mom and a mango daiquiri for me).

We hopped in the pool where there was a swim-up bar and lots of little tables right in the pool where you could place your drinks. And the view was just absolutely gorgeous! Nothing like spending a random Monday right here, huh?

Most of our day at Mr. Sancho’s was focused on relaxing and spending time in the pool. I just really, really love being in a pool. There’s just something so relaxing about it and it makes me want to spend a lot more time at the pool at my apartment. Can you believe I’ve only been twice since I moved in a year and a half ago? I have to rectify that this summer.

Around 11, I ordered chips, guac, and salsa because when in Mexico, right? It was a nice little appetizer before lunch and really fun to eat it poolside while sipping on a fruity drink. If there’s anything that says tropical vacation, it’s that. Eventually, we ordered lunch (I opted for a cheeseburger and fries because I’m eight) and it was nice to eat it right by the pool! I’m here for anything that allows me to be maximum lazy.

After lunch, my mom took a nap on the lounger and I tried to read my book, but it was a little difficult because there was so much happening around me. Mr. Sancho’s is a busy little beach club when cruise ships are in port! The pool filled up quickly and I think just about every lounger on the beach was filled. They aren’t hurting for business, that’s for sure!

I wanted to take a walk along the beach, but the beach was actually very small and the loungers took up the majority of the space on the sand. There was just a tiny strip to walk along and it was uneven, so my ankles were screaming at me after just a few minutes. Oh, well! There are some fun things to do at the beach, though, like kayaking.

We left Mr. Sancho’s around 2-ish because we wanted to have some time to shop at the port before heading back to the ship, but I really feel like I got my money’s worth with this excursion (honestly, you cannot beat $55 for all you can eat and drink!) and I will definitely be back on any other cruises I take that stop in Cozumel. It was the perfect relaxing day!

The all-inclusive package for Mr. Sancho’s Beach Club is $55 per person (ages 18 and up) and includes all-you-can-drink-and-eat, as well as use of the pools, beach, loungers, kayaks and hammocks. For an added fee, you can enjoy snorkeling, horseback riding, wave runners, parasailing, massages, and the aquatic park. Remember to have cash on hand to tip your server! (And if you’re coming to Mr. Sancho’s from the cruise port, you’ll need cash for the taxi, which is $15 each way.)