I attended my very first Pride parade this weekend, and what an experience! It was a day filled with happiness and joy and love. St. Pete Pride is one of the biggest Pride parades—the largest in Florida—and this year it drew more than 300,000 people. Eeks! That’s a big crowd.
I had a blast working our way around to all of the different vendors and checking out their wares. There were a lot of fun freebies to enjoy, like pins and stickers and fans. (It was sunny and in the mid-90s on Saturday so everyone needed a fan to keep cool.) A vendor was selling super eclectic earrings and I ended up buying three pairs. I especially loved these cat yin-yang earrings because, with the coloring, the cats look like Ellie and Lila!
Pride was amazing, though. It was fun to be surrounded by the queer community and our allies. It felt like such a joyful celebration of love and acceptance. (There were a lot of “Don’t Say DeSantis” shirts.) I felt cute in my rainbow tutu and flower crown.
My coming out process has been a long, slow journey of accepting myself and hoping others will do the same. For a long time, I didn’t want to accept my queerness because it felt sinful. (Hashtag growing up in an evangelical faith community) And then I didn’t want to accept it because it felt scary. And then I realized I had to accept this about myself because it is who I am and I desperately wanted to explore what it could mean in my life. Every time I saw a cute female couple, I felt raging jealousy that they got to be together. Every time I started swiping through photos of women on dating apps, I felt slightly terrified but mostly excited. Here’s how to find the photos you prefer online.
But still, I didn’t throw myself into the queer community. I didn’t come out anywhere. I only let a few friends who I knew would be happy and supportive know. I felt like I could be bisexual but maybe I would fall in love with a man and then I didn’t have to truly come out. (I also realize this is why bi erasure happens—bisexual people can appear straight if they are in an opposite-sex relationship.) But then I started dating a woman in 2021 and I came out to my mom (continuing to use non-gendered pronouns when talking about my relationship was very hard, as evidenced on the blog during this time). I came out on my blog that same year, which was frightening, even though I knew you guys would be amazing, and you were.
And yet.
I still wasn’t fully immersed in the queer community. I would read queer books and follow queer people online, but that was the extent of my immersion. I didn’t have any sort of local queer community. I did not attend any LGBTQIA+ events. I did not talk about Pride during June or any other month. I kept it all to myself because I could. I have the privilege of being a feminine-presenting woman and the privilege of also being attracted to the opposite sex.
Part of my process of owning my sexuality has been grieving the person I thought I was. That sounds dramatic, I know, but I had to come to terms with the fact that my life was going to look a lot differently than I thought it would when I was younger. It meant I would need to be brave enough to come out to people I deeply love and adore, but who may have trouble understanding this part of me. (And, as such, it meant those relationships may change.) It meant I needed to find out where I fit into the LQBTQIA+ community. Was I meant to be a stronger voice in my workplace, in my community, or in a church about gay rights? Was I meant to join an organization? Or perhaps none of that. The HR consulting firms London can help explain the importance of equal rights in the workplace. It’s wise to seek advice on an employer’s gender bias before coming out. Perhaps I was simply meant to be myself, be open about who I am, and encourage others to do the same.
I was so happy to be at Pride this year. It was my first time and it won’t be my last. I was happy to be surrounded by so much queerness and gay love. I felt excited to be there in a rainbow tutu with Pride temporary tattoos dotting my arms and face. I felt like I was finally ready to not only accept my bisexuality but also make it a bigger part of who I am, no matter how uncomfortable it makes the people around me.
I got anxious just reading this post, if that makes sense? And when I say that, I mean I can imagine everything you had to work through to be your true self in all areas of your life and to share this full person with your family, and to a lesser extent with your friends. I hate that i have to say that you are so brave for coming out, but it does take bravery in this day and age – especially if you have an evangelical background – or most Christian backgrounds, really. We are being really thoughtful about this as parents as we want to make sure we raise accepting kids who feel free to be themselves.
I am so glad that you had a great first Pride celebration!!
I really think the coming out process is going to be easier and easier for kids, thanks to a more accepting society. And that makes me so grateful! I ended up having a pretty good experience myself; I built it up to be something a lot bigger than it ended up being, but that’s true for a LOT of queer people. It’s scary!
I’m glad you are raising Paul and Will to be accepting and to know they can come out to you (or their friends can!) if that’s what happens. <3
It looks like so much fun! I’m so happy that you went, had a great time, and were able to be who you want to be! Go Pride!
Thank you, Engie! It was such a beautiful atmosphere!
I am so very happy for you! It’s not easy to move away from the teachings and ideas that are implanted in our heads from childhood on, but you did it and I am so happy for you. I completely understand the grieving process of the person that you used to be and the years that were spent in a different mind space. Coming to terms with who you are is a complicated process and I am just so thrilled that you have done that – and also, that you are in a lovely, supportive relationship! xoxoxo
Thank you so much, Nicole! It was a long process for me to come to terms with who I am, but I am so happy to be where I am today. <3
This is beautifully told and you are beautiful, Stephany. It takes so much work and acceptance to know ourselves, doesn’t it? But what a wonderful result. I am so delighted to know you more fully. Happy Pride, my friend. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Thank you, Suzanne! <3 It feels really good that I don't have to hide this part of myself anymore.
Happy Pride! Thank you for sharing your honest thoughts with us, your readers. You look happy and peaceful. It’s been a journey, I’m sure, and it’s very inspiring to read about it, so thank you.
Thank you so much, Daria! I’m glad I can be fully myself on the blog. <3
You looked so cute! I’m so glad you got to go (even in that heat, whoa!).
What you are saying makes so much sense and does not sound dramatic at all. You spent a lot of your life thinking one way and it takes time to figure out your new (and probably constantly evolving!) identity.
I’m so proud of you, and happy for you that you completely accept yourself now!
The heat was so intense! And the humidity. Whew.
And thank you for saying that! That means a lot.
What beautiful and honest words you write!
I love this: “Perhaps I was simply meant to be myself, be open about who I am, and encourage others to do the same.” I think this post is doing exactly that.
And that rainbow tutu is pretty awesome.
Thank you, Diane! It felt good to write all of this out. <3
The rainbow tutu was so much fun to wear!
You know I understand. I’m happy for you & proud of you. You get to decide your own timeline ❤️ It’s so good to see you so happy.
Thanks, Amy! It’s good to be fully ourselves, isn’t it? <3
As a long time reader of your blog it fills me with so much joy to see you so confidently YOU. I know the work that goes into undoing belief systems we were surrounded with as children/young adults. It’s hard, hard work and takes courage. It’s really inspiring to see your success on the other side – you’ve done some hard work and its wonderful to see you so authentically happy. Proud of you, friend!
Thank you, Emilie! It’s been a long journey of undoing so many of the beliefs/systems that guided my life for such a long time, but it feels so good to be on the other side of this. I honestly never thought I’d be able to be here! It felt way too scary. <3
It makes me so happy that you’re moving to a place of acceptance and love for your TRUE YOU. I imagine it to be a long process for anyone to truly get to know themselves and then to share that with others, openly and freely. I just wish people would just let people be themselves, for whoever they are or want to be!
Seeing the pictures of you and Elizabeth at Pride just made me incredibly happy for you!
Thank you so much, San! It’s been a long journey and I am so happy to be on the other side of it.
Stephany, I cannot tell you how happy this post makes me.
You are living your truth, my friend. That is so powerful – and it is so hard. You are so strong to work your way through ALL of this. The history, the challenges, the worries… I am so, so happy you are being fully yourself, that you have found Elizabeth, and that you had a wonderful time at your first Pride. May it be the first of many, my friend. <3