Feeling… a little emotional that my little ladies are turning 4! Eloise’s birthday was on Sunday and Lila’s is next Sunday (Mother’s Day!). I can’t believe that I’ve been a cat mom for this long (before adopting them, I had only ever had dogs). They have added so much happiness to my life. I never knew cats could be so funny and sweet and personable, but my girls totally are. I’m buying them a very fancy new cat tree to celebrate turning another year older, and I’m 100% certain they’ll love the box the cat tree comes in more than the tree itself. The cat life!
Loathing… pregnancy dreams. I have this reoccurring dream where I’m pregnant and single, and suddenly, I decide that I really, really do not want to have this baby anymore. I’m usually well into my pregnancy at this point so it’s not really an option, but I always wake up from the dream feeling so unsettled. (And so happy to wake up not pregnant!) I do not desire motherhood for myself, and I certainly do not desire single motherhood, so I don’t think these dreams are a manifestation of a secret wish for myself. From the googling I’ve done about these dreams, pregnancy dreams (especially if you aren’t pregnant and aren’t trying to be pregnant) represent the birth, or the development, of something new, like a creative project or a budding relationship. And I am in the process of working on something new and exciting (more on that below!), so I think that’s where the dream is coming from. But oof, I really hate these dreams. I get so panicky about being pregnant and having to take care of a real, live human all by myself!
Watching…
- Bridgerton, season 2 – I didn’t love season 2 as much as season 1. Season 1 gets 5 stars from me, and I’ll give the second season 3 stars. Some people preferred this season, but it was just missing a little bit of the magic that made season 1 so incredible. I’ve heard they may go out of order for season 3, so I’m really hoping we get Eloise’s story next.
- Brooklyn 99 – I finally finished my rewatch! I didn’t love the final season. I understand why they did what they did with that season, but it felt a little phoned in at times. And final seasons always have a sense of melancholy to them.
- Superstore, season 5 – I forgot that I was watching this sitcom! I’m speeding through season 5 and loving it. Such a great show.
- Get Organized with The Home Edit, season 2 – I watched season 1 when I had just moved into my new apartment and it brought me great comfort when I was having a little bit of anxiety. I just started watching their second season and I’m loving it. Organization is something I love and this show just makes me want to quit everything and become a home organizer.
Listening to… The Trojan Horse Affair. It’s a new-ish podcast from Serial, hosted by Brian Reed of S-Town fame. I’m only a few episodes in and I’m enjoying it so far. I love short-form investigative podcasts like this! I don’t listen to enough of them because I can’t really do the true crime ones (my overactive imagination doesn’t mesh well with true crime). But this one has been very interesting!
Grateful… that I can take two really nice vacations this year without completely obliterating my budget. After spending so many years struggling with my finances and sometimes barely making enough to cover my bills, it feels so good to earn an income where I can easily pay my bills, have money to put into savings, and take really nice vacations. And I’m doing it all on my own (the single-person tax is real). I’m not used to having this level of comfort with my finances, and I don’t take it for granted at all.
Anticipating… two weeks off work in June. I will be spending the first half of those two weeks on my Niagara Falls vacation with my mom and the second half will be a little bit of a staycation for me. I am really looking forward to having such a long time off work—I think the last time I took this much time off was in 2019 when my mom and I went to Ireland. It feels almost irresponsible to take so much time off work, which is just the American way, I guess. (But no, I don’t feel guilty enough to rescind my PTO request. I’m taking those two weeks and I’m going to enjoy them!)
Struggling… with my bedtime. It’s like I need someone to come yell at me to TURN OFF THE LIGHT AND GO TO SLEEP. I used to be so diligent about my 9:30 bedtime, but working from home means I don’t have to get up as early so my bedtime has become loosey-goosey. And now that I’ve been using the Sleep Cycle app for a few months, I can see that I’m averaging around 6 hours of sleep a night, which is just not enough sleep for me. I really need to make it a priority to put my ideal nighttime routine into place so that I can start getting the right amount of sleep for my needs.
Thinking about… the difference between diet culture and healthy living. I want to make some changes to my overall diet (that is, what I eat on a daily basis) to stave off heart disease and even prediabetes, but it’s tricky to make sure I’m doing it from a place of love and compassion. I have spent so much time engaging in toxic patterns of diet cycling and then hating myself when I couldn’t live up to an impossible standard I set for myself (1200 calories a day, anyone?) Going on a diet is not something I care to do ever again, but I also know I need to overhaul what I’m eating to make sure I’m doing so in a way that will serve my overall health well into the future. Figuring out how to do that without engaging in anti-fatness rhetoric isn’t easy. But I’m determined to find the balance.
Needing… a pair of comfortable house slippers for standing. I’m still trying to get used to that sit/stand desk life, and one of the things I realized I needed is a pair of comfortable slippers so that I could have a little bit of support and cushioning when I’m standing. (Standing for hours in my bare feet on a hardwood floor is not so great for my feet and ankles.) I’ve been going back and forth on a few pairs on Amazon (current favorites here and here), so I just need to make up my mind!
Buying… podcasting equipment. I’ve been talking in vague terms about the creative project I’m working on with my friend Bri, and most of you have already guessed what it is. Yes, we’re starting a podcast! We’ve been in the planning stages for many months and we’re now ready to start recording some episodes. Bri found this great beginner’s podcasting kit (a microphone, pop filter, and headphones) for $90, so we snatched it up and started playing around with our new equipment last weekend. So far, we’re having fun and I’ll be sure to share all the details with you when we’re ready to release it out into the world!
Loving… mid-morning walks in 70-degree sunshine, chocolate ice cream cones, Wordle, springtime blooms, lazy Sundays where I don’t ever leave my apartment, when a duck is swimming in my mom’s pool, when I find Lila sleeping all snuggled up next to my… spin bike (how is that comfortable?!), three-paycheck months, Monday night dinners with Mom, and the way Ellie stretches out on my office chair for her evening naps.
What are you currently watching and anticipating?
YOU’RE STARTING A PODCAST!!!! EEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
The diet culture/ healthy living thing – so very tricky. How to we love ourselves without acting like we hate ourselves – do you know what I mean? It’s a weird balance for sure.
I haaaaaate the cultural thing where we feel guilty for taking vacation. In Europe, they take like six weeks of vacation a year, it’s just a thing. Imagine! Six weeks! Anyway, I hope you can just enjoy your vacation wholeheartedly. I’m happy you’ll be visiting Canada, even if it is on the other side of the country from where I am.
I am! It’s so very exciting!
It’s such a tricky balance to make sure I’m living a healthy life because my body needs that in order to run efficiently, but not doing it because I hate my body or feel like I *need* to eat a certain way.
Having six weeks of vacation sounds INSANE to me. In a good way! I like that a lot more US-based companies are switching to unlimited PTO. My company is considering it and I’m crossing fingers and toes we can have that soon!
As a fellow work from home worker and sit/stand desk user, I recommend getting a pair of Birkenstocks. Prior to me wearing them, I felt like my feet were getting flatter. They’ve been a game changer and I’m pretty sure their considered house shoes in Germany. The plastic sandal style are pretty affordable and should offer the same support.
Yes, Birkenstocks are the best 🙂 Second vote for Birkenstocks!
Interesting – I didn’t even think about using something like Birkenstocks as house shoes! I have a pair of knock-off Birkenstocks that maybe I can use in the interim. Thank you!
We are doing a Buffy/Angel rewatch and I regret nothing.
I had no idea about that pregnancy dream thing. I sometimes dream I’m pregnant and am desperately trying to get un-pregnant. That moment when you wake up and you’re so very confused is one of my least favorite feelings!
YES. In the pregnancy dream, I am always desperate to not be pregnant even though it’s usually too late for that. It’s always so unsettling!
Congrats on the podcast venture! So exciting. I hope it’s bushels of fun.
Also, Eloise and Lila are, like, the most perfect names for two cats. Ever.
Aww, thank you! I wanted to give my cats “people” names that I really loved – it was my first time being able to name something, as all my other pets came named already! It was a fun process. 🙂
I think I guessed that you were starting a podcast. How exciting!!! Can’t wait to listen. I just got done with an interview for a podcast – it’s a mom podcast (Best of Both Worlds). But I am pretty sure I will not be able to bring myself to listen because I loathe the sound of my voice!! But it was fun to be interviewed!
Ugh, pregnancy dreams. I had those after we had Will and they were truly horrific. I would wake up with a sense of dread and had to remind myself there was no way I was pregnant!! We are 100% completely done having children. Pregnancy is so so so hard for me so I can’t imagine going through it again – and then the newborn days! Ahhhhh! I think those dreams must have been a manifestation of anxiety about getting pregnant… even though pregnancy was literally impossible!
I’m watching A Million Little Things, This is Us, and Top Chef. All 3 are excellent! I will be so sad when TIU is over. :….( I just love that show so much. And I am anticipating warmer weather! It’s finally going to warm up here. Nothing is blooming or flowering since it’s been so cold so May should be a beautiful month!
Aww, I think you had a great voice! I thought I hated the sound of my voice and then I realized it was just because it sounds so different in my head that I wasn’t expecting it to sound the way it did! When we were recording our trailer episode, I told Bri that we had great voices for podcasts so that’s a good sign, haha.
I love how much you love This Is Us. My mom loves it, too, and is sad for it to be ending. I had to stop watching after season 1 because it made me so sad every episode!
Birkenstocks!
I am so excited that you’re starting a podcast and I am really planning to give it a listen (but you know, I am not a podcast person. Sigh.)
I just got my whole family turned on to Sleep Cycle and I LOVE all the insights the app gives me. I am getting an average of the 7.5 hours of sleep, which is my goal for myself, so that’s awesome.
I am glad you’re taking the two weeks of vacation. You should NOT feel bad if you have the time accumulated. I just took two weeks and I am hoping to take three more when my family visits this summer and I do not feel bad about it (here, take a slice of my German attitude :)).
It would be such an honor if you listened to my podcast, knowing you don’t love podcasts! <3
7.5 hours of average sleep a night sounds amazing! I'm usually spending that much time in bed but not asleep. I need to get better about not having caffeine at night. That always affects my sleep so much more than I imagine it does.
The pregnancy dreams sounds SO unsettling, but I totally get why you are having them if you are starting a podcast! How exciting! Looking forward to learning more details!
I can’t wait to talk more about it the sooner we get to releasing it out into the world!
I wondered if you were starting a podcast! Congratulations! I can’t wait to listen .
I am so so happy to hear you feel financially secure and can treat yourself!
Aww, how has it been that long with the kitties? Blows my mind! I can’t wait to see their new tree.
OMG that dream would freak me out!
We’re watching movies! I am anticipating my sister having her baby 🙂
Thanks, friend! It’s been a fun experience so far. 🙂
I still haven’t gotten them their tree because I keep going back and forth between two of them and can’t make up my mind! Argh!
Ahh! A podcast! I think I figured it out but hadn’t said anything. 🙂 I hope that it’s everything you and Bri want it to be! FTR, I only listen to 2 sports-related podcasts, but… I’ll consider adding yours to the list. (ONLY because it’s you!)
I am so, so envious of you and your girls. I really, really want a cat, but I also really, really want to be able to breathe. Darn it.
I think it’s AMAZING that you can – and ARE – taking vacation! Do it! Hello, we are still in a pandemic. Seize the freaking day, okay? Enjoy your time with your mom – and your staycation! <3
I wish you didn’t have a cat allergy! They really are the best pets. <3