Feeling… excited for the holiday season to really kick into gear. I’m looking forward to buying presents, wrapping presents, and making my family members happy. I can’t wait for more peppermint mochas, cooler weather (PLEASE, FLORIDA?!), and holiday movies. I’m ready for the annual visit to Robert’s Christmas Wonderland, a dazzling Christmas store filled with holiday delight. I want to drive around looking at Christmas lights and enjoy a little post-Christmas shindig with my book club girls. The holiday season is when I come alive.
Watching… lots of Netflix reality shows. I watched the new seasons of Nailed It, The Floor Is Lava, and Love Is Blind this month and loved them all. Nailed It gave me lots of laughs, TFIL was just silly and the kind of distraction I needed, and, of course, LIB is the ultimate in messiness. I love that show, even though it makes me cringe!
Listening to… If Books Could Kill. When the host of one of my favorite podcasts, Maintenance Phase, said he was starting a new podcast where he and a co-host dissect and criticize popular books, I was down. Plus, his co-host is Peter Shamshiri who I’ve recently gotten to know and love from Peter’s other podcast, 5-4. (His voice is like butter.) This podcast has been a huge bright spot in my life lately. So far, they’ve talked about Freakonomics (a book I loved, but am now horrified when I realize how terrible the book is), Outliers, and Bobos in Paradise. The podcast is hilarious, filled with research, and just fun to listen to.
Grateful… for so many things, but I am mostly grateful for my family. I am grateful to my stepdad for cooking us a delicious Thanksgiving dinner. I am grateful for my mom and the close bond we have. I am grateful for all of my pets and the love they lavish on me. I’m grateful for my brother and the love and support he always provides. And I’m grateful for my nephews and the privilege of seeing them grow older.
Anticipating… putting up my Christmas tree when I get home from my cruise. It’s been so nice to have a little slice of that Christmassy feeling with my decorations but I am so ready to get out my tree and enjoy the glow of the tree lights at night. I can’t wait to add all of my ornaments, put up more lights around my apartment, and really dive into Stephany’s Christmas Wonderland!
Loathing… nighttime anxiety. I thought switching my anxiety meds from morning to nighttime would help with the rising panic I start to get when the sun goes down, but it hasn’t had the dramatic effect I had hoped. (It’s been a few months.) It’s something I want to talk more about with my therapist to find some different coping skills, but I may also look into some CBD gummies and try the free d9 gummies if this will be effective for me. Anything to help me feel better at night!
Experimenting… with guided meditations as I go to sleep. Usually, I turn on ASMR videos on Youtube to help me fall asleep, but one night when I was having some pretty rough anxiety, I decided to search for “guided meditations for anxiety” on Youtube and found a lot of great options. I’m a newbie when it comes to meditation, but I am hoping that by allowing myself 10-15 minutes of slow breathing and listening to someone else guide my thoughts, I will find it easier to fall asleep at night.
Thinking about… doing Project 365 in 2023. Project 365 is a photo project where you take one photo a day for the entire year. I’ve done it twice already and both times, I would post the photo to Instagram every day with a caption. It’s a lot of work, especially on those days when nothing special happens, but I also love looking back on the photos and challenging myself to take a photo of the big and small moments of every day. I’m still debating if I’m going to do it.
Buying… fun gifts for San’s Secret Santa Mug Swap. This is the first year I’ve participated, despite knowing about it since its inception! But I get very overwhelmed about mailing packages so I just decided not to participate. But the peer pressure got to me this year, so I signed up and had a delightful time shopping for my partner. I mailed out my package on Friday and I’m excited for my partner to get their goodies!
Loving… peppermint mocha season, painting my nails, Snickers Christmas trees, when Lila shows me her belly, curling up on the couch with a good book, time off work, NaBloPoMo 2022, the ability to cruise again, the way Ellie meows at me and then runs to my room when she wants me to sit on the floor and pet her, Christmas decorations, and pine-scented candles.
How are you currently feeling?
What do you think of the podcast Maintenance Phase? I’ve heard it mentioned a few times, but I think I saw some comments about how the hosts can be a bit, well, mean at times? I should probably just listen and see what I think as I hear it mentioned quite often lately!
I’m currently feeling really busy, but not stressed overall? I feel like the things I have planned are things I WANT to do, nothing that I HAVE to do. Most of my shopping is done which is an easy feat since we buy so few gifts. So I am feeling ready and excited for the fun stuff to come – especially our vacation!!
I love Maintenance Phase! Sometimes they get a little bogged down in decimating research, but overall, I find it really enlightening about health fads and the way fat people are marginalized in our society.
I love that you are trying guided meditations. I believe you have the Peloton app? They have some great meditations on there. My favourite is Ross, followed by Adithi.
Thanks for the Peloton meditation recs! I do have the app, so I should check them out, too!
Meditations are great for when I can’t fall asleep. I don’t even try to listen to them or to follow along. For some reason just having the noise shuts off my brain so that I can fall asleep.
I heard the Freakonomics episode and loved it! I’m going to have to go back and listen to the Outliers one now that you mention it. The only thing that I didn’t like about the show is that Aubrey isn’t in it. Aubrey and Michael have such great chemistry that it’s weird to listen to him without her…I mean yes Peter’s voice is nice but I still want Aubrey!
Aubrey is so great! I adore her, but I do like the different dynamic that this show has. It just makes me more grateful for the times when we get Maintenance Phase episodes!
Oh, I would love to see if you do the Photo Project! One year, my best friend and I took photos on a theme and wrote blog posts about it. It was so much work, but I look back on it with great fondness. This year we’re writing blog posts and the photos aren’t necessary, but it’s still something I have to take the time to do every day.
I can’t wait to see how everything looks when you’re finished decorating for Christmas!
I told a friend who has also done Project 365 before that I was thinking of doing it in 2023, and she said SHE was thinking about doing it, too! We realized it’s been 5 years since she did it, and I did it in 2015 and 2019, so it seems like every 4 years, I get the itch to do it again!
Well, the positive covid test really forced me to slow down. I am behind on the secret Santa and am thinking about mailing a card ahead that it is coming. Instead of going shopping myself I went online shopping – fingers crossed the package comes in time.
The 365 project sounds interesting – now I am thinking about it. It sounds very daunting but so did Nablopomo.
Oh no, I am sorry to hear that you got Covid! (I am so behind on reading blogs – promise I’m going to go back and read the ones I missed from you!) That’s such a bummer, though. Congrats on finishing NaBloPoMo, though!
What is it about mailing packages? I truly loathe doing it. Just going to the post office doesn’t seem so bad, but having to prep AND mail a package feels like a whole other level of unpleasantness.
I’ve been a big fan of CBD oil this year; I was skeptical, but really do think it helps with my anxiety. I’ve never tried CBD gummies; if you don’t mind the taste, the oil is WAY cheaper!
Bring on all the festive cheer!
Yes – I don’t mind going to the post office at all but it’s just the fact that I have to find a box and make sure everything fits and nothing is going to get broken or lost… it feels like such a big extra step. I’m glad I overcame my trepidation, though!
I love all of this- except your anxiety issues. I don’t have exactly what you’re describing, but I do have those middle-of-the-night wakeups where I start worrying about everything. I did hear an explanation for that- at night, the logical part of your brain is less active and the emotional part is more active (to put it very un-scientifically.)
i am also very excited for the Christmas season to officially begin! I had fun shopping for my secret santa present and will be mailing it off tomorrow. By this point, I’ve mailed so many packages to my son that I’m a pro! (Of course now that I’ve said that, this will be the one time the package never, ever arrives. ) Anyway… I’m also looking forward to seeing your apartment transformed into a Christmas wonderland! Can’t wait to hear all about your cruise.
Jenny, that explanation for why anxiety can be so much worse at night is blowing my mind. I even talked about it with my therapist today! It makes so much sense and I think this is a helpful way for me to reframe the way I view my anxiety at night. It doesn’t need to mean anything – I’m just feeling this way because the logical part of my brain is less active and the emotional part is more active! Such a transformative way to look at it!
I was so excited that you signed up for the Secret Santa Swap this year (and I think you were the first person to send out her package – haha – so don’t tell me about getting overwhelmed about mailing packages, you were so organized!).
I am also looking forward to finally getting out the Christmas tree this weekend.
I am such a rule follower that I felt that I *had* to get my package out before I left on my cruise! I wasn’t going to be back in town until Dec. 2nd, which was the last day to *technically* send out my package. Ha!
I am sorry you suffer so badly at night and I hope some solution for better sleep is on the horizon.
Thank you, Tobia! I hope so, too. <3
Wow, Jenny’s comment is really thought-provoking. I’m sorry that you have had so many problems with your anxiety spirals and yet I know that nothing I can say can make them better. Only that I am glad, SO GLAD, you are getting the help you need, and thinking proactively about how to get it. Take care, my friend. Sending light your way. <3