1) I had a lot of social anxiety in the lead-up to my weekend with Kim. This has nothing to do with Kim and everything to do with the way my brain works—it didn’t matter who I was going to be spending the weekend with, the social anxiety would be rampant. (Okay, not if it’s my mom because, well, she’s my mom.) Even though I felt really silly having such an emotional response to something that was going to be fun, I have gotten a lot better in recent years of acknowledging that my brain works differently than other people and it’s okay to have anxiety about things that don’t make other people anxious. And guess what? You can be anxious and still do the thing! The moment I saw Kim at the airport, all of those silly anxieties floated away. Just seeing her smiling face made me immediately feel at ease!
2) Let’s do a scalp psoriasis update, shall we? I went to the dermatologist last Wednesday for my annual skin check and my psoriasis follow-up. Something you should know about me is that I have this tendency to downplay how I’m feeling. Even when I was going for regular chiropractic adjustments, I would tell my chiropractor that I was feeling fine when I wasn’t. I don’t know why I do this. I guess I just don’t want the doctor to feel like they’re failing at their job because I’m not feeling better, lol. I’m such a goddamn enneagram 9 it hurts. Anyway, at this appointment, when the nurse asked me how my scalp psoriasis was doing, I told her, “Terrible.” And proceeded to talk about how bad it had been these last few months. I’m proud of myself for being honest! When my dermatologist came into the room, we talked about all the different options available to me. She still feels strongly that we should try to treat this at its source rather than doing a systemic treatment that has lots of additional side effects. Since the topical steroids weren’t doing their job, I opted for injections. Essentially, this entailed injecting steroids right into my scalp to hit the deeper skin layers that a topical steroid can’t really get to. I was admittedly apprehensive about getting injections in my head but after a month of pretty excruciating psoriasis pain, I was ready to try anything. Getting the injections wasn’t pleasant, of course, but it honestly wasn’t any worse than what I’d already been experiencing. She stuck the needle into multiple spots where I have the dry skin patches, and since then, I have seen some improvements in my condition. The patches haven’t cleared up completely but the itchiness/pain has reduced considerably. I’m still using steroid treatment (I started a new one, calcipotiene, which is formulated specifically for psoriasis) and hopefully that does the trick to clear up the patches completely.
I have a follow-up appointment in two months—the injections often provide relief for up to 6 weeks, so it’s something I may have to get done frequently. For now, I’m happy with how the injections helped my itchiness/pain, but I may have to look into a different treatment if the dry skin patches don’t clear up.
3) Remember how I talked about how weak I felt during my workouts a few weeks ago? Every workout felt like it was taking everything out of me and was so challenging. This week, I have felt so strong! During my regular Tuesday evening class (which is a 20-minute weights-based full-body workout), I was able to complete all of the exercises without feeling like I was going to die, and even felt like I could push myself a bit further than I would normally go (which I did, and then felt like such a badass, lol). I even felt strong during my Wednesday evening HIIT class and felt like I didn’t have to modify nearly as much as I normally do. I’m getting stronger! It’s a good reminder that I’m going to have weeks where things just feel harder and there can be myriad reasons for that. On those weeks, it’s best to listen to my body and do whatever feels right, whether that’s reducing the weight, taking the modifications, taking more breaks, etc. Odds are, I’ll be back at my best the following week.
4) Last night, Bri and I went to a really fun book event in downtown Tampa. There were tons of vendors, local authors selling books, a book swap, and some bookmobiles. It was a crowded event, too, which made me really happy. I loved being surrounded by all the bookish people—so many great bookish t-shirts and totes! I also counted seven dachshunds, which delighted me to no end. We donated some books to the book swap and then Bri and I stood in line to check out the two bookmobiles that were there. One was for a bookstore that is hoping to open a brick-and-mortar location soon in Ybor called Bookends. I bought a cute bookmark and a new edition of Red, White & Royal Blue (my current one is an ARC that I got for free from a Goodreads giveaway, and I’ve been wanting to replace it). We also visited The Sated Bookworm, which was a romance-centric bookmobile. We got there a little late, so all of the good stuff had been picked over (which is awesome for the vendor!) but I did buy a book from her. And I’m now following her account on Instagram so I can keep an eye on her location. I feel like I missed out on some seriously cute items, so I want to visit her shop again soon!
5) This weekend should be a good one. As of right now, the only plans I have are a girl’s night in tonight, a writing date with Mikaela on Saturday morning, and a HIIT class on Sunday morning. I’m hoping to fill up the rest of my weekend with reading, napping, and getting some chores done. A restorative weekend it shall be.
What are your weekend plans?
Hi Stephany, how wonderful to see all those book vendors.
This weekend I will be recovering from a camping trip I did with the kids. I’m using the term “recovering” because I am exhausted lol It was great to have that time with them but my back is killing me from all the bins, in and out of the car, constantly (food is to be kept locked up at all times since the animals love to scavenge). So. I will probably read some blogs and my book, meditate, do a stretching session.
Camping is a lot of work! And you had to do it solo with two kids. I am so impressed by you! I hope you were able to have a restorative weekend. <3
“I have gotten a lot better in recent years of acknowledging that my brain works differently than other people and it’s okay to have anxiety about things that don’t make other people anxious. And guess what? You can be anxious and still do the thing!”
This x1,000. Yes, yes, yes. My brain does work differently from my husband’s and my friends and my children and my parents AND IT SHOULD. We are all different. Also, I think that I still struggle to understand that what I see on the exterior is not necessarily reflective of what is happening on the interior. I tend to be quite extroverted in certain settings but it takes a lot of effort. I think some people (obviously not those who know me super well), assume I’m quite confident in social settings. I’m often the leader in a group, for example. BUT, on the inside I’m soooo introverted. When I see someone that seems to be confident and assured, there is a good chance they’re doing life just as scared/confused as I am!
“My brain does work differently from my husband’s and my friends and my children and my parents AND IT SHOULD. We are all different.” <– OOH! I like this reframing, too. Yes, my brain works differently. But so does everyone else's! We're all different and each struggle with something that we *think* other people don't worry about.
I think a lot of people confuse introversion with shyness. One of my best friends is a huge introvert but she will also happily go up to people and introduce herself and gab with them for a long time. People often think she's an extrovert, but she needs a LOT of alone time after big social interactions.
Ahhhhh I am so proud of you Stephany! “You can be anxious and still do the thing! ” – yeah you can and yeah you did! Great job! Also I’m so glad you advocated for yourself with regards to your scalp – yes injections sound kind of…scary but you’re doing it and I hope you get so much relief. What a pain to deal with.
I’m glad you updated with your exercise! I have been having a low week, according to Peloton. I’m kind of dragging a bit and a bit more tired than normal, but I think I’m getting my period. Things just swing so much in terms of energy, and it’s good to acknowledge that and account for it without beating ourselves up or getting discouraged.
Enjoy your weekend, it sounds lovely!
The injections have definitely helped a lot! I am so glad I finally got them because it was what I needed.
It felt so good to have some really great workouts after struggling with movement earlier in June. It was a good reminder that workout output will ebb and flow throughout the month.
Stephany, I am right there with you. I get so much anxiety about social situations! Especially if I were flying to a different city to meet someone I hardly knew (not sure if you’ve met Kim before in person?) I would have anxiety meeting any of my blogging friends in real life, but then once I do it I’m so glad- I can’t just be a hermit, and these relationships make life so much richer. I don’t know if it’s from being an introvert, or from the fact that I was a VERY shy kid, but it’s hard. Sometimes I imagine how easy life must be for extroverts, sigh.
I’m glad your workouts are feeling better! It’s a good reminder to all of us- there will be highs and lows, but just keep plugging away at it. Things always turn around.
I met Kim once before and we text frequently, but it was my first time spending so much one-on-one time with her and I was worried about how it would go! (Mostly on my end and worrying about my energy levels throughout the weekend.)
Imagine not having to worry about social situations and wasting SO MUCH MENTAL ENERGY being anxious about stuff like this!
Being a guest at someone else’s house can be anxiety producing. I totally get it. That is a lot of time to spend with someone and it’s a new environment and even if you adore the person you are seeing, it can still make a person anxious. So I completely get that! I am glad the weekend was such a delight. Kim sounds like an amazing host!
Good for you for speaking up. I think I most certainly must be a 9 wing because I am also one that downplays how I am doing. I think some of it is my nature to be a bit stoic about things? I remember when I started therapy in 2020 when things were really bad that fall and my therapist would tell me – wow, what you are going through it so hard. And then she was like – I see the look on your face, you don’t believe that I think this is hard, do you! And it wasn’t that I didn’t trust her, it was more so that I felt like others were dealing with harder things. But we aren’t doing ourselves any favors when we downplay symptoms. I hope the steroid injections are effective for you. They can do wonders for my flares!
That book fair sounds amazing!! We have a similarly unplanned weekend although we are transitioning Taco to a big boy bed starting tonight so I expect a rough night of sleep and an early waking. But I hope I am wrong.
I always feel so awkward being in someone else’s home, even when they are a kind and welcoming hostess like Kim was! But it all worked out and I’m so glad I didn’t give into my anxious nature and stayed home.
It was only in therapy where I was able to make sense of my upbringing and recognize I had a traumatic childhood, so I understand that so well! Sometimes we just need an outside perspective to make us look at things in a different way. <3
I’m really glad you shared that about social anxiety cause it made me feel better about how worried I was about being too exhausted and being a total grump to be around. Not the same thing, obvs, but just made me feel better to know we are all in our heads.
I’m so proud of you for being honest with the doctor and so happy to hear the initial treatment is helping!
And I am so happy to hear you felt strong this week! You are making progress!!!
The book event sounds amazing! And so does your weekend! Our weekend plans are to go to Colorado to see Val and Steve 🙂
Yes, we’re always in our heads! And we’re always worried about SOMETHING. That’s a very true statement. And look – it all ended up okay for both of us!
That book event sounds like a fun outing. I don’t think we have book mobiles in Germany. At least I haven’t seen any here. Besides the library bus that stops at different places.
Argh about the psoriasis. How annoying. Fingers crossed the new treatment does its wonders. I once has botox scalp injections for my migraine and it was the worst. I am so glad I never have to do this again.
Scalp injections are no joke! I am hoping I don’t have to repeat this process over and over again – hoping it will clear things up after a few treatments but we’ll see.
I get it with the social anxiety. I often avoid social situations that I know are going to feel awkward/fall flat and be boring. The nice thing from my experience in meeting up with other bloggers is that so far is that it only feels awkward when I reach out for the first contact. After that everything has felt very normal, smooth, and a ton of fun.
I have been trying to be better about not avoiding social situations just because I’m having social anxiety, but sometimes, the social anxiety wins and that’s okay, too. There are times when I can push through and times when I cannot. We just have to listen to ourselves and do what feels right! I’m glad you’ve had such positive experiences with blogger meet-ups!
You can be anxious about the thing, and still do the thing. GREAT INSIGHT. I mean, we all know this, because we have all lived it, but it’s great to verbalize it that way, and keep in mind next time you feel anxious. I’m going to keep it in mind myself. And meeting bloggers is kind of unique. You don’t know them, but you you KNOW them. I’ve met several bloggers, and so far I have LOVED it every time. As Birchie said, the only hard part is reaching out at first. After that it’s great.
Meeting bloggers is such a unique experience! We know so much about each other, and yet, it always feels like going on a first date with someone you don’t know very well. But once the awkwardness of the meet-up is over, it’s smooth sailing usually!
The eczema on my hands sounds like your psoriasis. It comes and goes in waves, but it’s so hard to find the perfect treatment and I end up going to the doctor when my hands are gaping wounds. *sigh* Why are our bodies like this? I’m grateful that my body can do what it can do, but sometimes I wish I could touch a piece of metal without my hands ending up on fire!
Ugh, your eczema sounds awful! I never dealt with anything like this until a year ago when it seemingly popped up out of nowhere, and it’s been so very frustrating to deal with. Solidarity!
I am so proud of you for being honest with your doctor. There’s no use in downplaying how you feel because they can’t help you if you don’t tell them what’s wrong (or what is or isn’t working!).
The book event sounds delightful. I am glad you’re pushing yourself to go to these kind of events because I can see how they’re totally your thing!
And way to go on the workout front! Some weeks are hard ,but some weeks are amazing and make you feel like you can do anything. Yay!
I spent the last weekend at my friend’s place in the Bay Area. We watched the UEFA Euro 2024 game (Germany vs. Denmark) together and then spent the whole weekend catching up. We hadn’t seen each other since January, so there was lots to talk about.
It really is SO SILLY to downplay how I’m feeling. The doctor wants me to feel better! And they can’t do that if I’m not honest with them.
That sounds like a delightful weekend! I’m glad you were able to get away and have some good, one-on-one friend time. <3