1) Mental health update
Sometimes I wish mental health wasn’t fluid. I wish we could just take our medication and do our therapy and things would be stable. Alas, that’s not how the brain works. The last few weeks have been rough mentally. There have been some big changes happening in my life (one being my mentor/biggest cheerleader/fave boss leaving our organization) and it has knocked me for a loop. Thankfully, I had an appointment with my psychiatrist right when things started feeling extra hard and we worked through some strategies. One of the things she suggested was adding an extra medication (Wellbutrin) to my day. I was a little nervous about it because for some reason, Wellbutrin and I don’t mix very well. We tried it last year when I was having a lot of nighttime anxiety but it made me feel very tired and loopy the next day (I took it at night). This time, I tried taking it in the morning and it continued to make me so sleepy. I’m already chronically exhausted thanks to sleep apnea so this was not a winning combination. I stopped taking the meds (I was only a few days in) so now it’s back to the drawing board. I don’t think I’m fully through this depressive episode, but I am crawling my way out of it bit by bit.
2) Back support
I bought a back brace! I never ended up talking with the girl in my HIIT class, but when I was scrolling through Amazon one day to find out what items are FSA eligible, a back brace showed up on the list and I couldn’t purchase it fast enough. It has been a life-changer. I can’t believe I went through so many HIIT classes without this brace because it has helped so much. While I still have twinges of back pain here and there, it’s never as bad as it was before and I can get through a whole class without needing to take a break because of my back. Now, I take a break when things just feel really hard! Ha. It really gives me that extra boost of support my spine needs to be able to lift properly and get through a class without my back hurting. 10/10 recommend!
3) Adventures in at-home hair coloring
I had my own hair coloring night on Monday! A few weeks ago, I purchased all of the supplies I needed: three tubes of hair color (it was buy 2, get 1 free), one bottle of developer, a mixing bowl, a hair coloring brush, a comb with a long handle, clips to separate my hair, a cape, gloves, wipes to get rid of any dye that got on my skin, and a small packet of conditioner that is supposed to help seal in the color. All of that was around $70, which is the most I’ll need to spend coloring my hair. After this, all I’ll need to purchase is the hair color + developer from time to time.
We only used one tube of hair color (and I probably have 2/3 of the bottle of the developer left), which means my next two colors will essentially be free. Well, aside from the cost of my stylists (we pay each other in pizza and cheesy bread).
I was worried at first because when we mixed up one tube of the hair color with the developer, the mixture was BRIGHT ORANGE. Like, sweet potato baby food orange! I even frantically googled the name of the product and color (which was labeled as “cinnamon” in the store) because I was worried I had made a very wrong decision. I know the color changes as time goes on, but it was very worrisome at first. In the end, we marched forward with the hair coloring process. And hey, if I did pick up the wrong shade, at least I can find out if orange hair is a good look for me!
Thankfully, the mixture darkened to what my friends called “barbecue sauce” and the final product turned out amazing. I’m so happy with the color!
4) APAP waiting game
By this time next week, I should finally have my APAP machine. Can you believe it? I took a look at my calendar and this journey started on April 16th. That’s when I had my at-home sleep study and a week later found out I have severe obstructive sleep apnea. It will have been four-and-a-half months of waiting to finally get the help I need! (Meanwhile, a friend of mine who has a mild case of sleep apnea didn’t have to go through this rigamarole. Riddle me that, Batman.) On Tuesday, I have an appointment with the sleep clinic where they will go over the APAP machines available to me (virtually) and show me how they work, and then I’ll pick the machine I want and it will be shipped to me. They said it only takes 1-2 days to get the machine when it’s shipped since they send it from a local facility. Hooray!
5) Weekend plans
It’s going to be quite the weekend because I’m on Chip and Lucy duty! My mom and stepdad are spending a long weekend in Orlando so I’m going to be hanging out with my fur-brother and fur-sister. (I always stay at their house when I’m dog-sitting because the cats and the dogs do not get along, womp.) I don’t have any plans aside from my writing date with Mikaela on Saturday morning so I’m hoping to spend a lot of time reading and floating in the pool.
Have you ever colored your own hair? What are your weekend plans?
First, a question: what is APAP? I have only heard of CPAP.
Second, your hair looks great. As you know I’ve been colouring my own since 2020 and I can never go back. In fact, I have regretsies about all the money and time I spent getting my hair coloured for 21 years or so. If I add it up…well, I’m not going to add it up. I don’t have a cape but I have the ugliest tee you have ever seen that one of my students gave to me (her grandson was doing a fundraiser). I wear that and it’s all stained and everything, but it reminds me of that lady, who I loved.
Third, so sorry about your mental health dip. I’m glad you saw the signs and took action. I hope you feel better soon. I don’t know much about Wellbutrin but it doesn’t sound like it’s a good fit for you, with the tiredness.
APAP stands for automatic positive airway pressure, and it’s different from a CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) in that it can change how much air is being delivered throughout the night based on my needs. It senses when I need more or less air, and delivers the right amount!
Nicole, I spent $460 on my last hair color/cut. ALMOST FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS. That’s when I was like, nope. That is too much money.
Well, I’ve never colored my own hair, but I’ve helped my daughter color hers, many times. Yours looks GREAT. I love the color. I’m used to bright pink, turquoise, etc. so it was nice to see a nice, attractive cinnamon.
I’m guessing APAP is a variation of CPAP? One thing I’m wondering- your sleep is so poor right now, maybe when that improves your mental health will improve as well? They say less than six hours of sleep a night can lead to depression. Anyway- I hope you get your APAP soon, and that it works well. You’ll probably feel SO MUCH BETTER.
Have fun with the pups : )
I won’t lie – I am tempted to do some bright pink hair at some point. Probably just the ends or something like that. We’ll see if I’m brave enough!
Yes, APAP stands for automatic positive airway pressure, and it’s different from a CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) in that it can change how much air is being delivered throughout the night based on my needs. It senses when I need more or less air, and delivers the right amount!
That’s such a great point about how my mental health will likely improve once I’m sleeping with the APAP. Being chronically tired is NOT great for my mental health!
Hi! I HAVE colored my own hair multiple times! From platinum blond to brown and back again. I always liked it since it’s cheap and I am cheap when it comes to hair. Your hair came out great, I love how shiny it is. I am slowly turning grey (43) but I am not ready to do anything about it yet. Maybe when I get many more grays I can start dying it OR just let it all hang out… Not sure.
Weekend will be quiet. Tony will be working on the back stairs, and I will probably take the kids to the beach if it warms up a bit. This week we’ve been having total FALL weather, low to high 70s but I think it may warm up. Next week, Wednesday is my first day back to work! Ahh goodbye, summer…
Platinum blond! That’s impressive. I am starting to see some gray hairs myself (I’m only 36 – wah!), and I’m not sure how I feel about it. At this point, I’m not ready to embrace the gray so coloring it is!
Fall weather sounds AMAZING. It has been so hot here and it’s only going to get worse before it gets better.
Good luck with the new school year!
What Jenny said! I hope that the APAP will drastically improve your sleep and with it the depression. I think poor sleep causes so many issues in the body!
Re: the hair coloring, I’ve only used the boxed colors from the store, so I got big eyes when you listed the costs of all the things that you bought. Wow. That’s serious! The color turned out gorgeous, btw!
I really hope my sleep improves a lot with the APAP machine and I can finally start feeling better. If it helps my mental health, too, even better!
I was committed to using good products on my hair – so I just went to Sally’s for the hair color/supplies. The tubes of hair color were only $10!
I think your hair looks wonderful! I have colored my hair many times, I did for about 20 years. But when you color blonde, it doesn’t come out the same, probably due to the need for bleach to get it right. It is expensive, though the salon I go to isn’t as much as the one you go to. Mine is about $350 I think, including tip. Still a LOT. I stretch it by buying Clairol root touch up for in between. That means instead of going ever 6-8 weeks, I go every 3 months. Yes, it looks better if I go every 6-8 weeks. But not enough better to pay that much.
I hope your mental health improves with the improved sleep. UGH, so hard. I’m so impressed that you caught the symptoms and headed it off. Way to be proactive and take good care of yourself.
Going every 3 months when you have blonde highlights is good! I was going every 6-8 weeks when I had blonde highlights and it was just so expensive. I’m glad I can really cut down this expense now!
I love that hair color on you. May be my favorite. Your friend did an excellent job.
Sorry to hear you are mentally struggling. I hope things are looking up rather sooner than later.
Have great weekend
Thanks, Tobia! Things have steadily improved every day so there is a light around the corner!
I have never colored my own hair. I am too terrified to try to do that! But I only color my hair 3 times per year, usually, so it is not terribly expensive to do so. I just fear I would mess it up. And now I really prefer to have a money piece to disguise alllll my gray hair. But your hair looks great so this is clearly working out well for you and saving you SO MUCH MONEY!!
I am sorry to hear your mental health is in a rough spot. It’s so hard to lose a beloved mentor/boss. I went through that in 2012 when my boss/mentor left the company we were working at. But we were reunited 3 years later. But those were some very hard times and included a relocation to Charlotte. He retired last year and while I was sad, I was in a much more stable place with my career and was ready to be on my own so it was not so devastating. Plus we were in the height of the banking crisis so I was kind of numb from exhaustion!
We were very nervous about coloring our own hair at first, which is why we formed a little “hair coloring get-together.” It feels a lot less scary when you have friends helping you! Thankfully, too, my hair has been so many different colors that I wasn’t too worried about things not working out. Worst case, it would turn out awful and I’d just schedule a regular hair appointment. Best case, I’d save hundreds of dollars!
It’s been very hard to not have my boss around. She was great for my self-esteem and confidence. I’m just hoping the new person they hire will have the same type of leadership style, but we’ll see!
Stephany, 1. I wish I could give you a hug!, 2. thank you for always sharing your mental health journey on here. I appreciate it and you modeling that openesss makes it easier for me to do the same. I hope you find a second med that helps and I 100% wish we could just fix it once and have that be it. Yesterday my PCP asked me if I want to lower my Wellbutrin dose, sort of a starter to having the conversation to see if I still need it and I was like…er, I feel off if I miss a day and still have really hard days even on it! She was like, okay, got it!
That is so awesome about the back brace! I wonder if I should try it. I tweaked my back for the first time two Fridays ago and it’s starting to feel better (and I have a massage today!) but maybe I need something like that.
Your new color is BEAUTIFUL!!!!
I am so excited to read you are going to have your APAP machine soon. I hope many rested days are in your immediate future!
Thanks, friend! <3
That's interesting that your PCP was thinking about lowering your Wellbutrin dose. When I talked to my PCP about lowering my Lexapro dose because I was feeling so good, she had to gently remind me that the reason I was feeling good was likely due to Lexapro. Ohhh right. That's its job!
I reallllllly hope I start feeling more rested after using my APAP machine. I am counting on it!
I hope the APAP is more comfortable than that darn sleep test you had to go through. Fingers crossed for good results – good for your physical and your mental health. I know several people who have benefited tremendously from having machines.
And thank you for being real about your mental health. So, so glad you reached out and also that you realized – quickly – that Wellbutrin is NOT for you. Again, hoping for a treatment plan that helps you.
Hugs, my friend. Life throws curveballs and it seems they always come in quick succession (or, um, simultaneously).