1) Valentine’s Day
I mentioned this on Instagram, but Valentine’s Day was a hard day for me. It usually is. I know it’s a silly, made-up holiday and that you can celebrate all kinds of love on Valentine’s Day, but there is still this part of me that feels sad and lonely to be partner-less for yet another Valentine’s Day. One of my friends who is also single checked in on me on Monday, and we both commiserated about how hard the day had felt. It felt good to express my sadness to her and to be understood. I also read an Instagram post from another single person who talked about how hard Valentine’s Day can be for single people. I know many couples don’t celebrate this holiday in any meaningful way, but that doesn’t take away how lonely the holiday can be for so many people. It’s different not doing anything for Valentine’s Day when you’re coupled up and happy in love, and not doing anything for Valentine’s Day because you don’t have a romantic partner to celebrate with, you know? And while it can seem like a silly holiday, I know my feelings of sadness and loneliness are not silly. They are true to my experience, and it’s okay for me to get sad and wonder if there will ever be a Valentine’s Day I get to spend with a romantic partner.
2) So much to do, so little time, part II
When I talked about my inability to keep up with my blog reading last week, I certainly didn’t do it so that you could all tell me that it’s okay if I don’t comment on all of your blogs all the time. But I really appreciate your grace and kindness during this very busy time in my life. I’m still trying to get my bearings with my new role and figuring out how to fit in all of my hobbies into shorter windows of time. I’ve even found that I have less time to listen to podcasts. I just started working through episodes that were published at the beginning of this month, whew. But it’s good to be busy, good to have too many hobbies to pursue. I’ll figure it out in due time and right now, I am going to try to extend the grace you all gave to me to myself.
3) In case of my death
Suzanne wrote a really fascinating post this week about death—I know, it sounds so morbid, but it was a really interesting discussion about what would happen to her blog, how would her loved ones inform her blog readers, etc. Once my grandfather passed away unexpectedly in 2018, my family quickly found out how hard it is when untimely death occurs and nobody is ready. We didn’t have access to his bank account, or certain bills he had set up, or his email account. It was really difficult to get what we needed to do something as simple as shutting down a bank account or phone. Since my grandmother had already passed away, it was up to my mom to figure it all out as the executor of his estate. Anyway, ever since that happened, I’ve wanted to have some sort of document for my loved ones to access where they can find out all of the important information, between financial information and passwords to my email accounts, social media accounts, and my blog. And I guess I need to figure out who could post to my blog to inform people of my death. That’s not really something I want to put on anyone, but I guess one of my friends could handle the job. I think? This is so morbid, I know, but I think about death a lot (since I’m always worried about people dying—believe me, if you regularly post to your blog and go a week or so without a post, I’m convinced you’re probably dead) and I feel strongly that it’s good to have these plans in place. I hope to outlive my blog, of course (will I really be blogging in my 80s? Time will tell, I guess), but if I don’t, I want people to know what happened.
4) An update on my facial rash
Onto a less morbid topic. I have good news: my facial rash is effectively gone! Finally! There’s still a little bit of redness in the area, but it’s not as itchy or annoying as it was in the past so I’m considering it healed. I’ve started to implement a low-key skincare routine—cleanser, toner, and moisturizer—and it’s been going well so far. I’m going to continue this low-key routine for another week or so and then add one new thing every few weeks to make sure my skin doesn’t react. Next up: I’m going to add in my twice-daily niacinamide serum. Fingers crossed everything goes well, and this was all a flukey skin thing!
5) A melatonin jump-start
My sleep hasn’t been the greatest this week, and I’m not really sure why. It just feels like I can’t get comfortable and I can’t shut my mind off (usually, I’m just thinking about everything I need to do the next day). I’ve been taking melatonin right before bed this week and it has helped tremendously, as it always does. Sometimes, it feels like my body just needs a little extra dose of melatonin to jump-start its melatonin production. I never need to take it for very long, maybe only a week or so, and then my body seems to naturally go back to its normal state of falling asleep very easily. (<– And believe me, I don’t take that ability for granted!)
Well, I’m glad to know someone else has these thoughts. I can’t even remember why, but earlier this week I was wondering what would happen with my blog if I died (no- I don’t expect to die any time soon.). I’m pretty sure my husband would have no idea how to create a blog post. If you don’t see a regularly scheduled post from me (Tuesday, Friday and Sunday) it’s probably nothing, but if I don’t post for a week…. be very, very worried.
Sorry Valentine’s Day was hard. Just so you know, although I am married, the day wasn’t full of romance and flowers. But I get it… on a day completely geared towards couples, being single could feel sad. Good thing it’s over for another year!
I’m pretty sure my mom wouldn’t know how to make a blog post, but I know a couple of friends who could. But it’s a weird thing to think about! I’ve wondered about drafting a post that someone could just publish if I died, but that feels way too morbid. And I’m so superstitious that I’d be worried that making that post would preemptively cause my death! Argh.
Cute KITTY!! I want to snuggle her forever.
I’m sorry Valentine’s Day is a rough one for you. We’re very low-key about it in our house, but I know I’m lucky that I have a dependable partner for the day. I struggle with many holidays that can (unintentionally) leave people out – Valentine’s Day, Mothers/Fathers Day, etc. – and try to just let them go without a lot of fuss.
Suzanne’s post really made me think about what would happen in the event of my death. I just updated my list so next quarter one of my goals will be to create a document for my husband in the case of my untimely death. I know he actually already has one (I’m to turn on his desktop computer and search for name and apparently there’s a document that should pop up with all his passwords and wishes and information on how to pay the bills and he updates it every year on my birthday and it always makes me a bit sad when he pops upstairs “for a few minutes” because I know what he’s doing), but I’ve never taken the time to do it, but it does seem important.
She is very floofy and snuggable, but definitely only on her terms. But I guess that’s how it should be!
Holidays can be really hard, can’t they? Valentine’s Day and Father’s Day are very hard for me, but I also get to enjoy other holidays that may be very difficult for others. I need to remember that!
My dad passed away & I get the whole not being prepared thing… I’ve often wondered about my blog too – my husband would not have a clue. I need to let a tech savy friend know … i’ve often thought of writing a “final post” & all they would have to do is hit PUBLISH… it would be strange writing it – gotta get in a good mindset for that one.
I get it – the way you feel about V-Day, I feel about Christmas. Some holidays are just tough. Glad you got through it. HUGS
I have thought about drafting a post for someone to publish after my death, but I don’t know if I could ever get in the right headspace for that! It is too morbid to even contemplate. But I need to have at least some sort of document ready that has all my passports and banking info so family doesn’t have to worry about that aspect.
YAY for no more facial rash!
And thanks for the shout out. 🙂 I think about death a lot. Maybe all the murder mysteries I read? But I am so grateful for this little blogging community and it makes me happy that we all keep an eye out for each other.
P.S. You said: “It’s different not doing anything for Valentine’s Day when you’re coupled up and happy in love, and not doing anything for Valentine’s Day because you don’t have a romantic partner to celebrate with, you know?” I see you. That is so valid. Valentine’s Day gives me complex feelings, too. (Same with Mother’s Day.) And I’m glad it is in the rearview for another year.
Holidays can be complicated, that’s for sure! I think it’s always a good reminder that a day that may feel neutral or fun to one person can be a hard day for others.
It is so nice to no have to deal with that damn facial rash anymore! Woohoo!
I saw your IG post and am sending huge hugs.
I’m just going to say it: I love melatonin. I take it OFTEN. Probably more than I should, but anyway, it’s a good way to reset. I had a terrible week of sleep – but last night I got over 9 hours!!! So I feel great today. I am going to blame it on the full moon.
Yay for no facial rash!
Not having a facial rash has been so nice! Wahoo!
Melatonin is the best, honestly. I was definitely taking it nightly for a long time when I was struggling with nighttime anxiety. It’s naturally produced in our bodies so it’s not really something we can get addicted to!
I am glad you had a friend to talk to on Monday that GOT YOU! Your feelings are valid! And you will spend V day with a romantic partner in the future 🙂
I am so so glad the rash is gone and that the melatonin helped! Sleep is so important, especially right now for you!!!!
It is so nice to be single in my mid-thirties and have other single friends who understand me! I think a lot of coupled-up people don’t necessarily understand how lonely this holiday can feel, even when it is a silly, made-up holiday.
I am sorry that Valentine’s Day was triggering for you. I spent so many Valentine’s Days single. My strategy was to spend time with my nephews. I would babysit so my brother and his wife could go out, and I’d get a heart-shaped pizza to share with the boys. I have such good memory of those holidays spent with them. And then another year a friend told her boyfriend she was going to spend Vday with me. I had just gone through a breakup so it was nice of her to proactively do this! We got Chipotle and watched a movie together and it was so wonderful! All that said, I am glad you have a single friend to talk to. I really had so few single people in my life so that was one huge perk of blogging – I met so many great women who were single and could relate to what I was going through!
I love that you would spend the day with your nephews! That’s really sweet and special.
I am basically you in this post.
Valentine’s day…. not fun being single for the first time in a while (working helped tremendously :>).
You already know that I have you beat on the number of unread blog posts. Sigh. I have to find a better balance – and right now, focusing on my favorites is the way to go. The others can disappear from my Feedly and you know what? the world will keep on spinning!
THAT POST. I was like, why didn’t I think of this??????????????? My ex had all of the access to my different accounts, etc. I need to create a document then figure out what the heck to do with it. Storing it in my Dropbox? Probably not the best option… Ponder, ponder.
While I don’t have a facial rash, I have gotten some new (more natural) skin care products recently and am loving them. From a small shop, too – bonus! SO GLAD yours is resolving – keep up the consistency! It helps!
And sleep remains elusive for me – more in the form of way-too-early wake ups, not difficult falling (instantly) asleep. I am not sure how to fix that, though, since, well, I don’t want to take something if I want to get up in an hour or so. Hm…
Hope you are doing okay now that a few weeks have passed!
It must have been a very weird feeling to be alone on Valentine’s Day after so many years partnered up. I envy the people who don’t care about this stupid holiday! It just brings up so many complicated emotions for me.
I feel like I was able to get caught up on my blog reading since I took a staycation last week. It’s at a very manageable level right now – let’s see how long I can keep it that way!