Today is my mom’s 48th birthday. I don’t think she would mind too much for the whole Internet knowing her age, because she looks pretty damn good for her age, mother of two kids in their mid-twenties, grandmother of a precocious four-year-old.
Anyone who knows me knows I have a strong connection with my mom. We’ve always been close and she’s always been the first person I want to tell any good news to. We are comfortable in silence and comfortable chit-chatting about anything and everything. We like (mostly) the same TV shows and are learning that we don’t always have to have the same opinions.
She’s the reason for my faith, as she took my brother and me to church every Sunday, prayed with us, and talked to us about morals and what’s right and wrong. Even when my father thought it was a waste.
She is an incredible woman. She had to be brave and courageous and gutsy by making the decision to leave my father and move back in with her parents – in her 30s, with two teenagers in tow. That couldn’t have been an easy decision to make and must have felt like such a step backward. She did it because she knew she deserved better because she knew we deserved better, and because she never wanted us to believe that marriage was supposed to be filled with strife and hatred and fighting.
Since then, her life has taken a complete turn. She was unhappy as a daycare teacher, so she quit her job and took on a completely different career path. She was unhappy with being overweight so she joined Weight Watchers and lost 80 pounds through diet and exercise (and has kept the majority of the weight off for almost five years). She opened herself up to love again and found a fabulous guy – a man she will most likely marry.
This year has been one of painful growth for the two of us. As much as I wanted my mom to find love and be able to experience what a real relationship – one with a good man who loves you and wants good things for you – is like, it was hard on me. It’s been the two of us for so long that adding a third person was awkward. I guess I just expected to absolutely love anyone my mom loves. I expected him to slide in smoothly to our family dynamic and everything to be easy. It didn’t happen that way. He didn’t fit in seamlessly and I didn’t like him from the get-go. I mean, I didn’t hate him and I felt like a big huge brat because he treated my mom well, but we just didn’t have any sort of connection.
Gradually, though, we’re both learning how to act around one another. I’m an adult so it’s not as if I need a father figure in my life and he doesn’t need to be super close to me. We can coexist and I can be happy for my mom and it will all work out. We have one super big thing in common in that we both love my mom and want what’s best for her. I know he is what’s best for her and she deserves this chance at love more than anyone in the world.
My mom is the best woman I know. She is kind and giving and loving. She supports me, no matter what I want to do. She is my cheerleader and always knows the right advice to give me. She listens to me complain, deals with my freak-outs, and loves me even at my most unlovable. She has had to be a mother and father to my brother and me and raised us right, even though we had all the odds stacked against us. She’s not perfect, she has her faults, but I couldn’t imagine having anyone else as my mother. This year, I have learned that she is so much more than just my mother – she is a woman and she deserves love. And her boyfriend is the luckiest to have her. The luckiest.
We’ve been celebrating her birthday all weekend – with a trip to the movies on Saturday, the beach on Sunday, and with a birthday dinner tonight.
Today, it’s all about my mom. I feel blessed to be her daughter and can’t wait to see what this year holds for her. A ring, perhaps?
Aw, that is a very sweet tribute to your mom. I think it is great that you two have such a special relationship. You all have been through so much together, I can see why you have the bond that you do. I am glad that she has someone special in her life who treats her as she deserves to be treated. I know it is bittersweet for you as it will cause a shift in your relationship, but hopefully with time you can find a new normal. Have fun celebrating your mom’s birthday!!
Lovely lovely tribute to your obviously amazing Mom! She is an inspiration!
I will say to you that what you are going through in adjusting to the new man in her life is absolutely normal. And you will experience it again when you find someone special and bring him in to your family.
While I love my husband very much, as an only child, we had been a party of three for so long that it was tough for my parents (read: my mom! I’m as close to mine as you are yours!) to adjust to having a new person around at holidays and get-togethers and such. Especially since he is Canadian and had a very different upbringing from us. And, unlike my Dad who lets my mom be the boss, my husband actually has opinions and stuff, which my mom isn’t used to! LOL. For the first several years of my relationship/marriage, I felt torn between what my mom wanted and what J wanted a lot and it’s a tough position to be in when you love both people very much, so I’m sure your mom is feeling a little torn too. Things have improved a lot since I had Sophie as we all have her in common and all put her first, but we still have moments.
All that is just to give you a little perspective…sounds like you are handling everything well and are very thoughtful about it. Happy birthday to your Mom and I know she is so proud of raising a wonderful daughter like you!
Great post, and some very wise words about navigating adult relationships! I think you’ve identified the most important thing — you and her boyfriend both love your mom, and that’s what really matters. All the rest will work out.
Happy birthday to your mom!! And congrats to your mom for finding a wonderful special someone.
Well isn’t this the sweetest thing? I love everything about it. Wishing her a fabulous birthday and awesome year. Can’t wait to hear what it holds for her =)
Happy, happy birthday to your mom. She has raised two wonderful children and I hope that this day (and year) brings her so many blessings. It’s also really great that your mom found someone great. I know that both you and your brother will keep an eye on him ;). Your mom seems so great and she’s done so many amazing things. She rocks!
aw this is so sweet, happy birthday to your mom!
Love this post. Your mom sounds pretty incredible!
Awww this is so sweet! Happy (belated) to your mom!
Happy birthday to your Mom!! She definitely makes up for the lack of relationship with your dad two times over! 🙂
Happy birthday to your mom! My mom’s birthday was yesterday.
Wishing your mom a great year with a ring!
Well, I’m a little behind on your blog but glad I saw this. What a wonderful tribute to your mom. I know this made her burst with pride and joy when she read it. She is a great lady and I’m lucky to get to enjoy her company each day at work!
Yeah, you might be a brat at times but then again, which youngest child isn’t? (Spoken from experience) 🙂
You are a wonderful daughter and this birthday post shows your love and admiration for your mom!
What a beautifully written post! I’ve been reading your blog for some time, but for some reason, I don’t think I knew a lot of this back story so it was really interesting to read about how incredible your mom is and to learn more about your relationship with her.