Happy Friday! It’s been a while since I answered some Friday Questions. I’ve been saving a handful of these to answer at the end of 2019/beginning of 2020 as they are reflecting on what happened over the past year or what I’m thinking about in the coming year. Let’s dive in! (As always, these questions were taken from the Community Questions portion of the Real Talk Radio podcast.)
1) What’s something that you’ve gotten better at over the past year?
I’ve gotten better at not letting other people’s emotions dictate my own. I’m someone who takes on the energy of other people, so if someone comes to me with a problem or needs to talk about something sad, my entire mood shifts. (It also works for my benefit, though, as I will take on the happy emotions of other people!) I feel like I’ve started to understand how to be there for people and listen to their problems without being drawn into their sadness or raw emotions. Therapy has helped me immensely with this as well as constantly reminding myself that I am not responsible for anyone’s emotions, only my own. (That sounds a bit selfish, I know, but I don’t mean that I don’t care about other people anymore. I mean that I have to let people feel their feelings without trying to step in and fix things and make them happy again. That’s not my job. I’m not the happiness police.)
2) What’s something that you find challenging lately?
Dating. Dating has always been challenging for me, and I’m starting to wonder if the app-based dating world is just not for me. I swear it’s just an exercise in futility. Of crafting clever messages to only get “lol” in response and conversations that go nowhere. I’m trying to put a lot of effort into dating this year but man, a week back on the apps and I’m already ready to throw in the towel.
3) What feels most important to you this year?
Getting my financial life together. Honestly, it’s more than time for this considering I’m solidly in my 30s and I can’t continue carrying these bad money habits with me. Something’s gotta give. I want to be smarter about the way I choose to spend my money. I want to keep daily tabs on my checking account (sometimes I won’t check it for over a week because I’m too overwhelmed). I want to save more than I ever have. I just want to feel good about my financial life. I want to feel secure in my financial future. I’ve never really felt that way and I want that to change in 2020.
4) What’s one place you would love to visit in 2020?
I’ve been thinking about planning a visit to Niagara Falls. This would be the “big” trip I take this year with my mom, and we’d explore both the U.S. and Canada sides. I also have a price alert set up for flights to Hawaii, lol, so we’ll see if the price comes down to a reasonable number. Hawaii is probably #1 on my bucket list so fingers crossed!
5) What’s one thing that you’re objectively pretty bad at but you love to do anyway?
Dancing. Listen, I’m your garden-variety white girl who cannot dance to save her life. I refuse to look at photos or videos of me dancing because I know I will die of embarrassment. But it’s still so much fun for me (especially after a few drinks when all my inhibitions are down) to just let loose and move my body in a way I don’t normally allow myself to. It helps to have friends who don’t care what I look like when I dance and push me onto the dance floor. 😉
What’s one place you’d like to visit this year?
I’m really hoping to finally visit Denver and/or Portland!
Hawaii would be amazing. That is hands down the best vacation we’ve taken. I loved that we could combine relaxing activities like swimming and snorkeling with more active things like hiking. It was just so gorgeous there. BUT SO SO EXPENSIVE. So just be prepared for that. We rented a little condo so did a lot of cooking but groceries were stupid expensive since so much has to be flown in
I think everyone should dance, no matter how “bad” they are. It’s fun!
You will build those financial habits this year! Have you been checking in on your account each day?
I just want to go someplace NEW to me this year. Anywhere. Preferably not in a neighboring state. I hope you make it to Niagara and Hawaii!
Oh, so many places I’d like to visit… I’d love to go back to Boston, D.C. and see some National Parks!
I do not envy you about dating. It sounds awful. I was very lucky that I never had to date. I met my first boyfriend in highschool and then met Jon in college – both naturally, without social media, going on ‘dates’, and such. and I can only imagine how exhausting it must be to put yourself out there again and again.
I’m getting to go to one of my bucket list locations – Prince Edward Island! And I’m adding on Nova Scotia, because I’ll be in the neighborhood! I’m so excited – I love Anne of Green Gables, and this has been a dream for so long!
Do you think a more old-school online dating platform – like Match – might be a better option for you, vs. the “swipe left” apps? I used eHarmony in the past but would not now that I know more about their politics and background. But those platforms seem to have put more, um, thought? into how they match people. I don’t know much about the newer options because I haven’t dated in a long time, though, so I might be completely off. Just a thought!