Happy Friday, friends! I don’t have too much going on this weekend, and I’m glad for it. A writing date with a friend and football with the fam is all I have on my agenda, but I think I’ll still find a way to fill my weekend with good things. Even if those good things are naps and episodes of Grace and Frankie. 🙂
Today, I’m continuing the Friday Questions series I started a few months ago, using questions posed at the end of the episodes of the Real Talk Radio podcast. Enjoy!
1) What’s your favorite way to start your day?
I love starting my day with a good workout, mostly because I want to get it out of the way as soon as possible and it feels so good to sweat first thing in the morning! I love my weekends because I go to the 9:15 AM spin class and that’s so perfect – I can sleep in and eat a filling breakfast before going to class, and I’m not half-asleep when I begin like I am for my 5:45 AM spin classes. Or if I’m not going to spin class, starting my day with a long walk while listening to a podcast is perfection for me.
2) What’s something that’s recently sparked your curiosity that you’d love to learn more about?
Gosh, something that has sparked my curiosity feels a little TMI to talk about, but deep breaths, here goes: sexual journeys and how different they are for everyone. I grew up thinking that sex outside of marriage was wrong on every level, and a lot of the teachings in the church center around women keeping themselves pure and virginal for their future husbands. And I think that really messed with my head, and it took me a long, long time to understand that having a sexual journey is healthy and normal and fine. No matter what that journey looks like, whether that’s a lot of partners, one or two partners, or just yourself.
My curiosity was sparked when I listened to a Call Your Girlfriend episode about this, where they answered a listener question for someone who is 22 and hasn’t even begun her “sexual journey,” as she called it and was wondering if she was weird. And, gosh, the podcast hosts were so kind and compassionate to this listener and it got me really thinking about what sexuality means and how different it is from person to person.
(I’m really scared to publish my thoughts on this topic, but I’m just going to do it because we have to have these conversations. I want to have these conversations.)
3) Which common piece of advice do you happily ignore?
Probably, “live every day as if it’s your last.” Or, YOLO. I think about this a lot when I choose a nap over spending time out by the pool. Or a Friday night watching Netflix instead of going out on a date. Life is fleeting, you should be DOING MORE, I sometimes think to myself. But really, I just need to do what feels right to me at the moment. I don’t think I’ll reach the end of my life and regret all the naps I took because, hell, naps make me ridiculously happy. I don’t think I’ll regret not going out on more dates because dating isn’t fun for me and usually just leaves me feeling empty and sad. (Netflix, on the other hand, gives me great joy.) To be clear, there is a balance and I do try to put myself out there and go outside and explore my surroundings, but it’s also okay to not live every day as if it’s your last and think you’re going to regret not getting out there more. I just don’t think that’s true. At least not for me.
4) What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
Trashy romance novels, hot bubble baths, Frappuccinos, long afternoon naps, the Target Dollar Spot, snuggling with Dutch, frozen Hershey Kisses, raw cookie dough. It’s hard to pick a favorite guilty pleasure. I have so many!
5) What do you want to be known for?
I want to be known as someone who was never afraid to be vulnerable and let people inside. I want to be known for being a great listener, the person that my friends know they can come to when they need to vent or talk about what’s going on in their lives. I want to be known as someone who gives good advice, but also knows when to just listen and offer support. I guess it all boils down to my relationships and being the best friend that I can be to my people.
Tell me some of your favorite guilty pleasures!
Bahaha, I also don’t live YOLO – like. Most days, I go to work, take care of Caleb and the dogs, read, go to bed, maybe watch some TV. I am far from exciting and I don’t care! I also live for naps!
Guilty pleasures… cookie dough, yes, me too. Everyone is like “raw eggs, you’ll get sick!” Never happens! I’ve been doing it for years and I’m still alive! My biggest guilty pleasure is probably reality TV though. A good 80% of what I watch is reality TV.
I’ve never been a fan of the YOLO “lifestyle,” but I believe it’s because I came into adulting differently than most. (I also hate that I’m lumped in the Millennial age bracket, but that’s a different story.) I still feel like I’m living my best life without being completely sporadic, lol.
My favourite guilty pleasures are pedicures, Starbucks, and pastries.
I love your answer to #2 about sexual journeys. I just didn’t grow up knowing much about sex, period, only that I was anxious enough about life in general to know that I probably couldn’t handle sex when I was in high school when others were experimenting. I think it’s important to learn to be open about sex, to talk about it, to recognize your feelings & desires, & to feel comfortable moving forward at whatever pace & level feels right for you.
And hey, by the way, your love of trashy romance novels has given me confidence in my love of trashy YA novels. It doesn’t have to be super serious to be the perfect escape – & sometimes, the trashier, the better, when an escape from the stresses of real life is what I’m looking fir!
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, screwed me up more than the way sex is discussed in the church. Especially as a gay woman. I spent a lot of time in therapy discussing this and figuring it out. Sexual desire is normal and healthy and good. We need to be more open about it.
Guilty pleasure = fatty foods 🙁
I reeeeeeally hope you do a post about sex because so many of us had that churchy, virginity is the best experience and it’s SO destructive (purity pledges OMG). I’ve only had two partners and it didn’t make my marriage or relationships any better or worse. Sex has as much weight as you choose to give it. I personally wish I had spent more time exploring my sexually before I was married (not that being married necessarily stops that but it makes it a hell of a lot more complicated… Spoiler alert, one person for the rest of your life doesn’t necessarily fulfill you and that is completely normal).
If I could like this comment a hundred times I would. I wish people talked more about how sex means different things to different people and that it’s ok. Honestly I’ve done a lot of “exploring” if you will, learned a lot about myself, and what I was looking for and I don’t regret it at all.
Kudos for you for posting about your curiosity about our sexual journeys. There is so much shame around sex and while I think sex is something special and to be reserved for someone you really care about, I think there is just too much shame associated with it. And many/most of us are so shy about talking about it (myself included) which isn’t necessarily a good thing since it is part of a healthy and thriving relationship!
I don’t subscribe to YOLO either. Yes you only live once, but hopefully most of us will have long lives so we can’t always be living in the moment. We need to think about consequences and long term goals and what is best for us. I think YOLO is sometimes used as an excuse to do something that you actually shouldn’t be doing or to do too much in life (at least for an introvert like me). Like you could spend irresponsibly and book a vacation that you can’t really afford, because YOLO. But there are consequences to our decisions!
Guilty pleasures for me include lattes from Starbucks, naps on the couch, binging Suits (I’m so sad that I”ve gotten through all the free seasons on Prime!), and massages.
Circled back here because I also am happy you posted honestly about sexual journeys!
I grew up Catholic and the guilt over having sex before marriage followed me for a long time. This is despite me having sex with a person I cared about, doing it safely, doing it because it was my choice, etc.
Thanks for your openness and honesty.
Kudos on posting your thoughts on sexual journeys. We are all so, so different, and that’s ok and healthy. It’s such a hard topic to talk about, but one that definitely needs attention.
Dismantling my “wait until marriage” stance on sex was an interesting experience for me. Mine wasn’t even based in religion, I had just internalized the narrative of not being able to share intimate moments with someone without instantly becoming 100% emotionally attached to them. It boggles my mind because I made such definitive decisions without ever having the experiences. Once I started being intimate with people, I suddenly had to reevaluate because it wasn’t as big a deal as I anticipated. That being said, everyone’s journey is different, but for me I placed waaaaay too much importance on something that ended up not being this be-all, end-all thing for me.
My guilty pleasures are sleeping or doing nothing. That doesn’t sound super healthy (because I shouldn’t feel “guilty” about those things) but I always have so much on my plate, so allowing myself to be lazy and watch TV or take a nap are my current guilty pleasures.
I think it’s awesome you posted such an honest response about sexual journeys! It’s so true that it is something not talked about and I think that is part of the problem with our society and issues we have with sex. Even something as simple as breastfeeding, breasts have been SO sexualized in North America that so many people take issue with breastfeeding in public – but that is WHY we have breasts, to feed babies!! I definitely think we could all talk more openly about sex in all shapes and forms.
My guilty pleasures are dark chocolate, wine (haven’t had that in sooo long though haha), and eating in bed. Nothing feels more guilty pleasure / luxurious to me than eating in bed while watching netflix. Or having some decadent dessert in the bubble bath! haha