From 2010 to 2019

At the end of 2009, I wrote a post I titled “The End of an Era” that chronicled an entire decade’s worth of memories.  First of all, yes, I’m astonished to learn that I’ve been blogging on Stephany Writes for more than a decade now. (!!!) I’ve been blogging for longer than a decade, but on lots of other blogs that came and went. But this blog has been a consistent part of my life for ten whole years. That’s crazy!

Anyway, once I realized we were coming to the end of another decade, I knew I had to write a similar post, chronicling the memories from this decade. So much has happened! I graduated college, lost both of my grandparents, welcomed a new nephew, lost my beloved Dutchy, became a cat mom, fell in love (a few times), traveled, met so many new people. Looking back on the girl who started this decade, I have nothing but love for her. She was trying her damned best and I want to bring that grace into this new decade because I know it is going to bring more heartbreak and love and excitement. More travels, more people, more cats, more dogs, and hopefully my forever partner.

Let’s take a look back on this decade, though. It’s been a crazy ten years.

In 2010, I was 22 and in college.

I was finishing up my second-to-last year, including a really intense magazine design course that required me to teach myself how to use Adobe InDesign and produce an 18-page magazine within four months. (A decade later and I’m still proud that I received an A+ on my magazine and my professor used it as an example for years.) My grandma’s cancer returned but she beat it again. My mom was hit by a car while on a run. And this was the year I made the decision to sever contact with my father. It was a hard year and I was hard on myself, but looking back, I want to give that 22-year-old girl a hug because she went through a lot of trauma and emerged from it victorious.

In 2011, I was 23 and a college graduate.

I got shingles during my last semester of school, brought on by stress (and because I was intensely anxious that I wouldn’t graduate and let everyone down). I went on my first cruise this year, a graduation present from my mom. Three months after I graduated, I landed a job as a marketing assistant. I also started online dating, to terrible results.

In 2012, I was 24 and searching for community.

College was done and I had the rest of my life ahead of me, and I wanted some girlfriends dammit. I tried befriending a girl at work and went to a Tampa bloggers meetup that went horribly – nobody talked to me and I cried the entire drive home, convinced I was too weird to have friends. A few months later, I went to a book club meeting where I felt welcomed and accepted, and seven years later, I’m still in that book club and those girls are some of my closest friends. This year, my brother got married, I went on my second cruise, and I went on my very first plane ride to visit family in Georgia.

In 2013, I was 25 and ready for a change.

I spent most of the first half of the year in job hunt mode. I was supremely unhappy at my job as a marketing assistant – due to both the work and the pay. At the rate I was getting paid, I’d never be able to move out on my own. In August, I started a new job in the exact field I wanted (copywriting) and it came with a 30% pay increase, which was baffling to me. (You mean I can pay my bills and have money left over? WHAT IS THIS LIFE?) It was also a year of firsts: first romantic relationship, first time I bought a car, and first time going on a girls’ trip. It was indeed a big year for me.

In 2014, I was 26 and expanding my horizons.

This was the year I truly started investing in relationships, from my friendships to my dating life. I fell head over heels for a guy this year, an experience unlike any other. I went to Savannah for my birthday and fell in love with that charming city. I spent the last day of the year at two different parties, ringing in the new year surrounded by people I loved.

In 2015, I was 27 and experienced the first true heartbreak of my life.

My grandma, who had courageously battled cancer for six years, died. It wasn’t a shocking loss; we all knew it was coming when the cancer returned for a fourth time, but it was a devastating one. It was hard to know what to do without her. Our family was bereft. This year also saw another big change in my life: moving out. I moved into a cute apartment in Tampa with a dear friend and the adjustment was hard for me. I loved living with my mom – she’s my best friend and it was so comfortable and easy living with her. Living with Roomie was just as wonderful (she was the best Roomie, honestly) but it took a while for me to adjust. But there were also many, many wonderful memories in 2015 – the birth of my nephew, a trip to Savannah, another cruise, and my mom getting re-married. Joy and pain, happiness and grief – that’s what life sometimes is.

In 2016, I was 28 and independent.

I fell deeply in love this year – the kind of instantaneous love that you only think happens in the movies. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t think of anyone but him. It didn’t last, and the heartbreak was immense, but man, was it a blast while it lasted. I was hugely social this year (mostly thanks to Roomie who knew how to keep me balanced between alone time and people time) and also preparing for a big move: my own apartment. I was terrified for this change, because the move last year had been such a difficult adjustment, and because finding a one-bedroom apartment in my price range seemed almost impossible. And yet – I found an apartment in my price range and the transition to living alone was easier than I could have expected. This year was one filled with lots of stress and anxiety (related to my own not-yet-diagnosed anxiety disorder and my big move), and I could have seriously benefited from therapy and anxiety meds. But that was to come!

In 2017, I was 29 and settled.

I filled up my time with dates, gatherings with friends, and family time. I was content for the first time in my life and finally felt myself settling into myself. I got involved in politics for the first time in my life, after the worst person ever was elected president, and even attended a political protest. I traveled to Puerto Rico and Asheville, North Carolina this year. I got my first tattoo. Some of my writing was published on Thought Catalog. And, perhaps most importantly, I started anxiety meds. It was a good year, one I look back on fondly.

In 2018, I was 30 and heartbroken.

This was such a tough year for me, one I never want to repeat. It started when my beloved Dutchy-Boy died in February, my sweet dachshund who had been my constant companion for almost a decade. He was old (16) so he lived a wonderfully long life, but losing him sent me spiraling into a months-long depression. A few months after Dutch’s passing, my mom adopted an adorable eight-week-old dachshund who helped me stitch my heart back together. I emerged from my depression in the summer, weary but happy to feel like myself again, and started therapy. Then, my grandpa passed away. It was completely unexpected and unthinkable and I still have to remind myself that he’s gone because it just feels so unreal. An incredibly tough year, however, ended on the happiest note: I became a cat mom! I adopted Eloise, a sweet black-and-white kitty, from a friend who had rescued her and she helped to put my heart back together again.

In 2019, I was 31 and happy.

I’m ending this decade on such a high note! Looking back at where I was when I started this decade and where I am now, so much happened over the last 10 years. So much growth. I adopted my second kitty, Lila, in February and I am now a super obsessive cat mom. I traveled overseas for the first time, to Ireland and had a blast planning that trip. I visited Boston on a girls’ trip and went on my tenth cruise. I invested heavily in my friendships and spent hours in therapy, unraveling my unhealthy thought patterns and learning the tools to better help my mood disorder. I didn’t date much this year, but I think I needed the time to myself to just be. I had a lot of grief to work through from 2018 and this year was about finding myself again. And I think I did just that.

I love stuff like this: tell me what your life looked like in 2009. How old were you? What were you doing?