Happy Monday! Let’s have a coffee date to catch up, shall we? I am drinking a peppermint mocha, of course.
If we were having coffee this morning, I would begin by gushing about my Secret SANta! I got the woman of the hour herself: San! She put together a wonderful package for me, including a nice big mug, peppermint mocha creamer, a handmade ornament, and a Starbucks gift card. I was so thrilled with my gift. Thank you, San!
If we were having coffee today, I would tell you that I am firmly in the holiday spirit and really enjoying December. I am not someone that struggles to get into the holiday spirit, but last year was a little weird since my mom, my stepdad, and I left on a trip the day after Christmas. So I never put up a tree and we celebrated Christmas early. It was so nice to get out my tree this year and fill it up with my favorite ornaments. I’ve had this tree for a few years and I’ve noticed that some of the lights have burned out but it’s not enough to be noticeable to other people, I don’t think. I still need to figure out a present for my stepdad, but other than that, all of the presents are ordered and ready to go! And it will be a very Christmassy week: going to see the holiday lights, book club’s Christmas party, and making Christmas cookies with the fam. YAY!
If we were having coffee today, I would want to tell you how much I love my new therapist. I am fully in love with this woman. She is so encouraging and helpful and just plain amazing. She was born to be a therapist. And I love that she gives me tangible ways to help me through my anxiety spirals. When I told her I was having some anticipatory anxiety about January (and how boring it will be compared to the excitement of December), she gave me some tips for bringing myself back to the present moment. (Like deep belly breathing and pulling up a YouTube meditation video). When I told her how much change triggers my anxiety, she was like, “Great! We can work on that!” And, like, it just never occurred to me that I could get better at my fear of change? I could learn to embrace change? What a concept! In January, my health insurance is switching from an FSA plan to a low-deductible HSA plan, which means these therapy appointments will be more expensive. (Right now, I pay $30 a session since it’s a flat deductible.) But I will do whatever I can to keep going to this woman twice a month because I have a feeling she’s going to change my life.
If we were having coffee today, I might admit that I think it’s time to break up with my dietician. I love my dietician and she has helped me unpack so much of my diet culture baggage, but I think she leans a little too far in this “eat whatever you want!” mindset. I know that losing weight is going to be a big goal of mine for 2025 because I need to improve my bloodwork numbers and I am hoping that losing weight will allow me to get off CPAP therapy. But I find that whenever I bring that up to her, she dismisses my concerns. I need a dietician who is going to help me figure out how to eat in a way that will get me the weight loss I need without falling back into my diet-y ways. I’m unsure if I want to find a different dietician or just go it alone for a few months and see how I do.
If we were having coffee today, I might talk about my cats! Eloise’s gotcha day was on December 8th, which means I’ve been a cat mom for 6 years now! I still remember the moment I saw her. She had been rescued from the streets by a woman who nursed her back to health, got her fixed, etc. She was closed off in a room in this woman’s house because her other cat was not friendly to Eloise. The woman brought Eloise out to meet me and it was love at first sight. Immediately, I knew that we were meant to be together. I can’t believe we’ve had six years together and how much friggin JOY she brings to my life. She is the epitome of a velcro kitty who likes to be near me at all times. She sleeps tucked in between my legs at night and makes me share my office chair with her so she can snuggle close to me while I’m working. As I’m writing this blurb, I’m sitting at my dining room table and Eloise was sitting on my bed, staring at me (the bedroom door was open). I said to her, “I love you!” And she got up, trilled at me, and then jumped on the dining room table to get pets. She is such a goddamn lovebug.
As for Lila, I am going to attempt to take her for a bath this month! It will be her first time. Cats don’t normally need to be bathed, but Lila has some matting issues and will not let me brush her, so I found a pet spa that offers this service. And not to get too TMI, but she needs some, ahem, clean up around her “potty area” (as the pet spa calls it, lol). I’m going to drug her up and hope for the best. She’s usually pretty chill at the vet so I hope she’ll be the same at the pet spa. One of my favorite things Lila does is that the minute she hears me turn off my CPAP machine in the morning, she jumps on the bed for cuddles. She’ll let me cuddle her when I’m wearing my mask at night, but it feels like she’s just waiting for the sign that it’s almost time for me to get up, which means she can scooch in for cuddles and kisses in the morning when I’m half-asleep.
What would you tell me at our coffee date?
I definitely have FOMO from not participating in the SANta exchange this year. Though this was a good year to skip since shortly after I decided to let this fun thing pass by this year OUR NATIONAL POSTAL SYSTEM SHUT DOWN so I wouldn’t have been able to (easily) mail anything anywhere.
I love Christmas – especially the lead-up. The twinkle lights are my favourite part, but my peppermint mocha creamer is a close second 😉
I am so sad that you didn’t get to participate in the SANta exchange AND are dealing with this postal strike during the holidays. Gah.
Peppermint mocha creamer 4LIFE!
San was my secret SANta last year! She always nails it- I drink out of the mug she gave me all the time (in the ordinary months- not during the holidays when I use my holiday mugs.) I love the things she gave you, and I use that creamer! We like it.
I’m also enjoying December and dreading (just a little) how blah January is going to feel. We can commiserate when we see each other!!! I’ve been enjoying my book advent calendar and wondering how you’re managing yours since you were on a cruise- did you just come home and open a bunch of doors all at once?
Your therapist sounds amazing, and yes- it sounds like you’re ready to move on from your dietician. Her approach sounds good as far as it goes but it seems like you’re ready for the next level.
HA- good luck with Lila’s bath! Drugs will definitely be necessary. I want to hear all about it.
Ooh yes – we do have something to look forward to in January – our meetup!
I opened the first 5 doors on the five days before my cruise and then picked up on day 6 when I came home. It’s been fun to get a little present every day!
I am very nervous about how the bath will go for Lila. But the woman I’m taking her to is very much a cat person so I know she’ll give her the TLC she deserves.
We’d have so much to talk about if I had coffee in person with you! With our back and forth comments about comp, I am sure we’d talk about that to start since you’ve been on the other side of the process. I would probably need to add some bailey’s to my coffee for that convo, though. Ha. Like maybe 1/2 cup instead of the typical shot. 😉
I’d tell you I am very excited for Christmas as well. I seem to be a bit immune to the stressful vibes that many women feel. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that we don’t have to buy many presents and I’m buying off a list for most people and include a gift cert with everything so figure they can just return it if they aren’t happy with it. This is where gifts not being my love language is to my benefit. I just honestly kind of give 0 f’s about gifts… I could do away with the whole process! The worst is when I get an unexpected gift from someone and then feel terrible that I did not get them anything! Phil wants to tell the world that we would like to have a gift neutral policy with everyone we know – don’t get us anything and we won’t get you anything! Do we sound like awful people? Probably? But oh well. At least Phil and I are 100% compatible when it comes to gifts!
I am sorry to hear about the insurance change. I hope it’s still affordable to see this new therapist! She sounds great! And I hope you can find a dietician that strikes the right balance between reaching your goals without getting too diet-y. It’s tough!
We’d definitely have to talk about books, too! I’ve had a really great reading year overall and will struggle to narrow my best-of list down to 12ish. I just read 2 5-star books this month – Blue Sisters and Home Stretch (would never have known about this one unless Sarah talked about it on SBSL!).
You don’t sound like an awful person! You sound like someone who is not very motivated by gifts – both giving and receiving. I do enjoy the present part of the holiday season, I must admit, but I think it’s amazing that you and Phil are on the same page about how you feel about gifts!
I chose my insurance plan because it shook out to be a better option than their FSA plan. I hope I don’t regret it! I was on a high-deductible HSA plan a few years ago and hated it, so I’m hoping I’ll be able to meet my deductible with this plan and be okay. But we’ll see.
That mug is PURRFECT! Love it!
I love hearing you love your therapist. We do need someone to tell us we can change and adapt!
That sounds like a good plan with your dietician. She got you on the right track with ditching diet culture, now you can try to lose some weight in a healthy way. I know that sentence sounds loaded but I also know you know what I mean <3
Aww, 6 years! Really? Time flies!!!!! And that is going to be so great for Lila, yay!
If we were having coffee I'd tell you about the craziness at the post office today (it's not what you think!).
Yes – I think I needed my dietician to help me unpack some of my more deep-seeded diet culture instincts and now it’s time to really dig into how to lose weight so I can be an all-around healthier person.
I can’t believe I’ve been a cat mom for 6 years now!
Wow, San sent creamer through the mail? I have minor anxiety just thinking about that! WHAT IF IT LEAKED, WHAT THEN?
Breathe breathe breathe. Obviously it’s fine.
Stephany, I was also a person who did not do well with change (I’ve been afraid of CHANGING, ’cause I built my life around YOUUUU) but then 2023 happened and literally everything changed. And you know what, it was okay. It was actually better than okay! My friend Sara, when I told her how stressed I was, said “I love change, it’s so exciting to start new things!” and I thought OKAY SARA WHATEVER. But now I know what she meant. It actually is exciting to start new things. It’s scary but also it can be so great. All the things I feared, I just dealt with them and life is better than ever. So it is something you can work on! Your therapist is right.
The dietician…that’s tricky. That’s so tricky because obviously you have a goal in mind and it doesn’t sound like maybe she’s the right fit to help you there. I think weight loss in general is such a fraught topic! I wish you the best of luck. xoxoxo
San placed the creamer inside the mug and had the mug very tightly wrapped with packing paper, so I guess worst case, it would have leaked into the mug?! It got there safely, though!
I love your new outlook on change! I really wish I was someone who was curious and excited about change, but it’s so scary for me! Even good change, like a new relationship, I have such stubborn resistance about it. You went through SUCH a big change last year so I know that has to give you confidence moving forward with other changes.
Weight loss is SO fraught and I want to be able to do it in a healthy, sustainable way. Gah.
I love the gift San sent you! It’s perfect.
Does your company do a matching of your HSA contributions, or else plop a set amount in the account for you to use for your expenses? A lot of employers do, but not all. I think a HDHP can be great, or it can be not great. I had one for a couple of years and it was great until it wasn’t. I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis in 2014, which involved a lot of doctor appointments, and then I think I also had to do a follow up for my mammogram, and at the end of the year, even with the lower premiums, I had spent quite a bit of money. I’ve always been afraid to have one since. It can be really good though, I hope yours works out well for you.
Your therapist sounds great, I love that when you tell her a problem, she’s happy to hear about it so you can work on it together. That sounds like a really good fit.
My mom used to belong to a group, I think it was called ‘overcoming overeating’, and the philosophy was that you were never going to lose weight in a healthy way until you demystified food, which is not easy, and takes time and work. It sounds to me like maybe this is your dietitian’s philosophy as well. If you’re not happy with it, it sounds like it may be time to move on. I’m glad she’s been able to help you with some of the diet culture BS.
Yes, my company does matching HSA contributions and I chose the low deductible plan. It was just a smidge cheaper than the FSA plan, but I’m hoping it will be worth it to have an HSA over an FSA. We’ll see – the goal is to be able to roll my HSA money over into the next year but last time I was on one of these plans (I was on the high deductible one), I didn’t save any money because I was spending so much on doctor’s visits. Ugh.
What a beautiful gift and how fitting.
Can you believe I never had a peppermint mocha?
Your therapist sounds amazing. Hope you can stick with her as long as you need.
As for the dietician… Maybe you can tell her exactly what you wrote. That you need her to not only point to that you can eat whatever. Maybe she thinks this will help you most but you have evolved and she just need to get this cue? Just a thought. Most professionals can take this and then can say they are the right person or not.