And so it is March! And it has been March for a week now. Oops… can I blame a fantastic four-day cruise for my delay in reviewing February? I had a wonderful vacation and I plan to fully review it next week. For now, let’s rewind a bit and discuss what February looked like in my world.
February in Moments
When I look back on February, what sticks out to me the most is anxiety. For the most part, I can handle my anxiety on my own but every now and then, it becomes a little too much to handle. This month was one of those months. There was a lot of crying, a lot of fear, a lot of overwhelming sadness. When I feel this way, it’s hard for me to recognize it for what it is: a simple anxiety episode. It feels so much bigger than that and as if I’ll never feel positive about myself or my life again. Eventually, I find my way out, but being in it is always so hard.
February also felt very lonely. I’ve not been very successful with dating lately. Are my standards too high? Do I expect too much? I don’t know, but I’m not very good at this dating game and it’s tiresome. And I can’t help but feel like a failure when every time I turn around, another person is coupling up. Being single isn’t always bad, and sometimes it’s downright amazing, but it can also be a lonely life to lead.
All of February wasn’t heavy and hard, though. There was a fun Super Bowl party that my mom and I hosted – made even better by watching the Broncos win and Peyton Manning end his career on the best note possible. (Okay, okay, so the offense could have played better but whatever. A win is a win.) My mom and I found a new salon for our monthly-ish pedicures. My roommate and I spent Valentine’s evening together, eating pizza and brownies and watching the first Harry Potter movie. I eliminated dairy from my diet for a week and enjoyed the incredible benefits, which included mostly clearing up my congestion. I celebrated my nephew’s first birthday and spotted my first little free library. I had a fun afternoon with friends, drinking sangria, munching on white cheddar popcorn, and crying through a sad movie. I even tried my hand at vegan baking and the results were delicious.
All in all, February was both a difficult and a wonderful month. There was pain and heartache, but also so much goodness and beautiful memories made. That’s life in a nutshell.
February in Pictures
Clockwise from left: (1) cookie cake at our super bowl party (2) dutch hugs (3) galentine’s day (4) sunny naps (5) adventures in vegan baking (6) more dutch hugs (7) my one-year-old nephew! (8) a little free library spotted in the wild (9) sunday afternoon girl time
February in Books
I read seven books in February, three of which were diverse. Here’s what I read:
- Girl Through Glass by Sari Wilson (2 stars) – Read for a TLC Book Tours review. This book was a slow read and I can’t say I particularly enjoyed it. The plot never felt like it fully took off, and the tone of the novel made me melancholy.
- Lovestruck in London by Rachel Schurig (4 stars) – I read this in bits and pieces at the gym over the past few months. It’s a simple cute love story, and you have to suspend belief for most of it, but Lizzie and Thomas have my heart forever.
- Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert (4 stars) – Multiple people recommended this book to me, and I’m so glad I gave it a read. It was honestly the perfect book for me – so perfect that I wrote a post on the five things the book taught me.
- Until There Was You by Kristan Higgins (5 stars) – This was a reread and it was so wonderful. I think I read the last half of the novel in one sitting because I just couldn’t put it down. It was cute and light-hearted and romantic and funny – everything I could want in a story!
- The Mapmaker’s Children by Sarah McCoy (4 stars) – Read this for a TLC Book Tours review. It was a slow but also engaging read, and I loved learning about abolitionist history, something I know startlingly little about. Totally recommend!
- The Distance from A to Z by Natalie Blitt (5 stars) – I read this for a blog review and I am so glad I did! It was such a fun read, an adorable YA romance. It checked off all my bookworm boxes.
- Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp (4 stars) – I read this for the Postal Book Club. It was dark and sad and heavy, but it truly opened my eyes to what alcoholism truly is and how horrible this disease is for those who struggle with it. I’m glad to have read it.
February in Movies
I watched three movies this month, and they all count toward some of the yearly goals I made. Wahoo! It’s fun to make progress with these goals because they take almost zero effort on my part. (Note to self: make more fun goals like this!)
- Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – I watched this movie before, a few years ago when ABC Family was running one of their Harry Potter marathons. I loved it just as much the second time around, mainly because Harry, Ron, and Hermione are so darn cute in this movie. And it’s just a phenomenal retelling of the book!
- The 40-Year-Old Virgin – I really loved the message behind this movie, even though I had to trudge through some crude humor to get there. Comedies can be so hit-or-miss for me because I don’t enjoy vulgar humor, and this one toed the line. I ended up really enjoying it, though!
- Steel Magnolias – A sad yet really heartwarming movie. And the 80s fashion delighted me to no end!
February in Podcasts
I added a few new podcasts to my feed, including:
- Gilmore Guys – New favorite podcast alert! I am in love with this podcast. If you aren’t familiar with it, it’s two guys who are watching Gilmore Girls from beginning to end and podcasting about each episode. One of the hosts watched the show when it was on TV and is a super fan; the other host is watching it for the first time. It’s hilarious. I’m listening to the episodes from the very beginning so I’ve only listened to the first 10 episodes so far, but it’s so, so great. I want to be friends with Kevin and Demi, is what I’m trying to say.
- Millenial – A blogger recommended this podcast and I’ve only listened to the first two episodes so far, but it’s a really well-done show. I feel like I’m not totally in the demographic anymore, but it’s still interesting to listen to!
For my regular podcasts, I really enjoyed:
- Lady Mechanics and Lady Truckers from Stuff Mom Never Told You
- Puttin’ On the Ritz and Italian Belly Laugh from The Nerdist (“hostful” episodes are my favorite and I laughed like a crazy person throughout both of these episodes!)
- Isabel Foxen Duke on Real Talk Radio
- That’s One Way to Do It from This American Life (stories about Trump supporters intrigue me so much because… I just don’t get it.)
What was a highlight for you in February?
Whenever I see a cruise ship (usually on TV since I’m inland-bound, lol) I think of you!
The 40-Year Old Virgin will always make me laugh! It definitely isn’t a movie for everyone, but I’m glad you enjoyed it overall! I love a good, crude movie, haha.
A highlight from February for me was definitely cheering my husband on as he finished his first 10K race! A related highlight would be both of my kids cooperating during the car ride to said race and not stressing me out, lol
40 Year Old Virgin will forever remind me of my early twenties. I didn’t see the unrated version, just the R version, and it made me laugh (for the most part). There were a few things that made me uncomfortable, but that’s true of a lot of Judd Apatow movies for me 🙂
February highlight: our no spend + de-cluttering. I’m so proud of us for getting through it and it really reset my mind on keeping things + how I spend my/our money!
So sorry to hear about the hard moments and anxiety. Hugs and deep breaths.
I listened to Gilmore Guys when I was packing up my life for the last move. I have fond memories of them getting me through a tough time!
February was a hit-and-miss month for me too. Anxiety is something I struggle with as well, and generally I am able to deal with it on my own, but in February it became pretty overwhelming. The sadness, the fear, the crying, the loneliness…yep. It can feel so difficult to pull oneself out of anxiety ruts, but climb out we do, and it’s knowing that that is always possible that keeps me going.
Aw, I love the first Harry Potter movie! It was well-done and really reflected the spirit of the book.
February highlight: My boyfriend’s sister’s art show reception at a local, high-end restaurant. You can’t go wrong with free wine and delicious nibbles, good musical beats, and viewing eclectic, abstract artworks.
One of my best friends went to a live recording of Gilmore Guys… & was so amused to learn that that day’s guest was ONE OF HER REAL-LIFE FRIENDS. She had no idea when she showed up! How small-world is that?! I just started rewatching Gilmore Girls & am loving it.
I just always keep a bottle of water on my desk close at hand. If I feel hungry, I have some water first (about half the time, it turns out I was actually just thirsty). Once I started drinking more water, I found it an easy habit to keep because my skin looks so much better and I’m so much less bloated when I’m hydrated.
I really enjoyed that episode of TAL as well although it was still mind boggling… I don’t know how anyone can support that a-hole. I was so proud of Minnesota for not picking him during our caucus!! At least he hasn’t fooled us sturdy midwesterners!!
I’m sorry to hear you had to deal with anxiety this month. That is so tough and it’s something I can relate to. I think you should just remember that you are not alone and that there are things to do that will improve your quality of life. I have been quiet about this but I went on an anti-anxiety med in August when I was dealing with all of my sleep issues as my anxiety was a big factor. I tried to go off them in December but quickly realized that wasn’t going to work… I wish I didn’t need to take medication to manage it but I have had to realize that sometimes we can only do so much on our own.