I have some bookish confessions to make today. Let’s not waste any time and get right into them…
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I have a hard time abandoning books.
I don’t like to admit this because I really believe in abandoning a book if it’s not grabbing your attention. But still, I feel guilty when I do it.
This guilt comes from many different places. On the one hand, I get worried that there’s something wrong with me and that’s why I’m not enjoying the story. I’m just not literary enough to read this book! I should only read romance and chick lit and easy fiction from here on out! The other place the guilt comes from is this worry that if I abandon one book, I’ll fall into this downward spiral of abandoning book after book after book. I very rarely get into reading slumps and the thought of it happening is scary since reading is my all-time favorite hobby.
But the real truth is that abandoning books happens. We all come to books with different personalities and backgrounds and opinions, and so a book that other people rave about may not tick the same boxes that I need for an enjoyable story. It doesn’t mean anything other than the fact that reading is intensely personal.
And really, there are too many books to waste time reading something that feels more like a chore than a fascinating adventure.
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It’s really interesting to me how worked up people get when books are turned into movies, and the movie is vastly different than the book.
I never, ever expect a movie to follow the same storyline as the actual novel. I always believe it will be loosely based on the book, and while major storylines should remain intact, the way the movie gets to the conclusion may differ from the book.
Think about it: we’re talking about two entirely different mediums. With a book, we’re able to delve deep into a character’s mind and understand their thoughts. We can’t do that with a movie. A movie is more about external actions. And a movie has to cut out certain scenes from the book because there’s a time limit.
Look, the fact is the book is always better than the movie because the book allows us to dive deeper and explore more internal thoughts and feelings with our characters. I just don’t see the point of complaining about all the changes that had to occur to turn the book into a movie. That’s just what happens when you take one type of media and put it into a different type of media.
I just think we need to take a step back and realize that the movie is based on the book. It is not the book in movie form.
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I don’t like to recommend books to friends. The reason is that I only recommend books that I wholly loved and had an emotional connection to, so when I recommend a book and the friend, for whatever reason, ends up not liking it… it feels like a personal affront.
Because reading is so personal. It is a personal journey that is individual to every reader and the features I may like in a book are the features others may dislike.
Everyone has their own taste in books, but it’s hard when I recommend a book where I feel “safe” in my choice and then the friend comes back and tells me s/he didn’t love the book. Or even like it. My heart plummets. I feel responsible. I feel hurt.
But isn’t that the beauty of being a reader? What will impact one person may not impact the other. What I liked in one story may be what my friend dislikes in that same story.
And feeling hurt that someone hated a book you loved isn’t a bad thing. It just means you care deeply about reading.
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How do you choose the books you read? My system is so complicated that I don’t know how to explain my method. But I will try.
For starters, I batch books into four categories: complete author works*, nonfiction, on my Goodreads TBR list, and books I’ve purchased but haven’t read.
(*Complete author works refers to reading the entire works of one author. I’m currently reading through Kristin Hannah and Emily Giffin’s works.)
And then I select one book per category and list them out as books I will be reading in the coming weeks.
Another part of my reading life is that I’m trying to read as much romance as I can, due to the type of novel I’m writing, so I also have a list of romance titles I will read in the coming weeks.
Then, I take both lists and combine them. I take two books from the first list, then two books from the second list, and back and forth until I have a list of about 6-8 upcoming books to read. (And then I can hit up my library and request the copies I need!)
Now, this method doesn’t always work in a smooth line because I have to add book club books, review books, and Harry Potter books (since I’m rereading the series this year) into the list, so it usually takes me a while to get through one full go-round with my four categories. And sometimes I put popular, front-list titles on hold at the library and if they come in for me sooner than I expect, I have to add them to my list, since I usually have to finish them quicker than a normal library book.
So, for instance, right now I’m reading the fifth Harry Potter novel, and here’s what my upcoming books list looks like:
- Love the One You’re With by Emily Giffin (complete author works)
- Taking the Heat by Victoria Dahl (romance title)
- Rescue My Heart by Jill Shalvis (romance title)
- Dog Crazy by Meg Donohue (book I own but haven’t read)
- In the Country We Love by Diane Guerrero (nonfiction)
It’s a complicated system and I’m sure there’s a way to streamline things, but I kinda like how odd and complex my book selection process is. It allows me to spend a lot of time perusing book lists and finding titles I’m excited to read next.
Okay – your turn. Confess something bookish to me!
I have gotten much better at abandoning books as I’ve gotten older, especially now that I don’t buy books. It’s hard to abandon something you purchased but way easier when it’s a free library book. I will give a book about 100 pages to grab my attention and if I’m not feeling it, I give up. The only books I made myself finish are book club books.
I also get nervous recommending books to others, mostly because I feel bad and like I wasted their time if they did not like it. Or I feel like it means I don’t have good taste.
It was interesting to hear how you decide what to read next. My system of choosing what to read next is pretty random but I usually will include 1-2 books from the read harder challenge, the book club book, and then either a book I own or a book that I am in the #1 position in on the request system at the library. I usually write out a post-it for each month and put it in my planner and I will adjust it if something comes up and I decided to read something else. But for the most part, I’ve got a game plan well before the month begins. Like I’ve already got 4 books picked out for September. I usually only pick 4 books per month because I know I’ll read at least 4 but I’ll add to the list if I have time to read another book.
This was a fun post!
I have the exact same thoughts and feelings about abandoning books as you! I totally believe in it and try to do it, but am not so good at it.
I also never expect a movie to be the same as the book and look at them totally differently. But I do think that sometimes a movie can be better than the book, because an author may have a great plot idea but the execution or writing is subpar. In that case I think the screenwriters can do great things.
I’m getting better at recommending books, first trying to figure out the types of books the person has enjoyed so I can personalize my ideas. I do tend to stay away from recommending one of my all-time favorites though, because of the reasons you listed. 🙂
Your system for choosing books sounds really fun! I can’t get through as many as you, so sometimes I feel like I am always reading book club books (I’m in one monthly in-person book club and two postal book clubs). But in between I prioritize library holds (usually of new releases or something I had an urge to read), books I’ve borrowed from friends, and finally books I own but haven’t read. If a book is on my Goodreads TBR list I try to suggest it for book club, too. 🙂
I always feel guilty abandoning books, too, even when I can’t stand them, so I tend to do this thing where I don’t OFFICIALLY abandon them. I tell myself I’m just not done with them yet, that they’re on hold… but then I end up with “Currently Reading” books on Goodreads that I haven’t picked up in more than a year!
I’m the same way with abandoning books. I know it’s such a waste of time to keep reading a book I don’t like because there are so many others, but I have the hardest time doing it! I need to get better about it.
I sometimes get embarrassed by the self help titles and will hide them on my bookshelf.
I have weird book memory. They kind of meander their way to my life. If a podcast interview gets me interested I’ll put it on hold (Shrill was the latest find). If another a friend mentions a book I already have on my radar, it gets bumped up on the TBR list. I prefer to dig into memoirs of novelists before reading their novels (Did this with Ann Patchett, now sitting at 2 memoirs read but no novels yet. Also did this with Steinbeck, starting with his memoir Travels with Charley (loved!)).
Yep, I hate abandoning books. Sometimes the library forces my hand because it takes back something I’ve been muddling through and I try to decide if I really care about requesting it again though.
My bookish confession is I’m a total book prude. I’m not good at romance or too steamy anything. I tried to listen to a romance title and yeah … I abandoned it.
I just finished rereading the Divergent series and started that new Harry Potter one this morning. On my hold list at the library:
Whistling Past the Graveyard – Susan Crandall (this is one that the library took back from me that I’ve decided I do want to keep going with)
Four Seasons in Rome – Anthony Doerr (audio, hoping it comes in by my work car trip next week)
The Heir and the Spare – Maya Rodale (unsure how I’ll feel about this one)
Movie Star – Lizzie Pepper
It’s Okay to Laugh (Crying is Cool Too) – Nora McInerny Purmont
With Malice – Eileen Cook
I need to do my 30 days free w/ Kindle Unlimited so I can catch up with a beloved author whose books are all on there, but I’m waiting until I have a good lull and I can commit myself to reading all the books ever.
I love all things book related! I also have a hard time quitting books, but sometimes it just has to be done. My reading time is so limited lately that I just can’t commit time to a book I don’t love or at least really really like, ha.
Also, I’m obsessed with Goodreads. It’s the best.
I hope you like Dog Crazy. I really love Meg’s books. She has another coming out in March 2017 and I can’t wait :0)
My confession- I just abandoned Modern Lovers by Emma Straub. I gave it 100 pages and just couldn’t get into it. I am in the minority here as others loved it but it just wasn’t for me. That was the 2nd book I gave up on (first one was Readers of Broken Wheel Recommend) in the last 6 weeks.
Also? I organize books on my shelves based upon author and then if I have read it or not yet read it. I have 3 separate shelves in my house and they all follow this format.
LOVED this post by the way. I can talk books all day long 🙂
I always felt guilty about abandoning books as well, but I also keep trying to tell myself that I have to prioritize my time and that I shouldn’t waste it on anything that I don’t enjoy. So I’ve gotten better about abandoning books that I can’t seem to get into.
I also feel guilty about abandoning books, ESPECIALLY if it’s one I bought, but sometimes you just gotta! I usually make myself give the book 50 pages and if it’s not grabbing me by then I’m done with it! I don’t abandon book club books though no matter how much I hate them as I think that’s kind of part of the point of book club to take you out of your reading comfort zone 🙂