Note: I’m talking about diets, diet culture, and food in this post. If those things are triggering for you, please take care and exit from this post. <3
Since I wrote my last Note From My Dietician post, I have had two more sessions with my dietician. I feel like I’ve had a lot of breakthroughs from these sessions. There is so much about diet culture that I am unlearning, still, even though I feel like I’ve been doing that for years now. But aren’t we all? Dieting and the thin ideal are such an ingrained part of our society, and often, we don’t even realize we’re falling back onto those same patterns until someone else says something (like my dietician telling me that Dr. Pepper is not a “reward” for drinking water; I’m allowed to have Dr. Pepper whenever I want).
So, let’s talk about what my dietician and I have been working on lately, shall we?
Hunger Signals
I really struggle with paying attention to my hunger signals and doing something about them. When you’re dieting, hunger signals don’t really mean much. Sure, you can eat a snack if you have the calories/points/macros available, but if you don’t, you just gotta be hungry until it’s time for your next meal. I remember feeling very smug and satisfied when I went to bed hungry because that meant I was eating below what my body was used to, which was a good thing. That’s the whole point of dieting, isn’t it? To force our bodies to endure less calories so we lose weight.
But we need to pay attention to our hunger signals! And we need to take action when hunger hits. I’ve been talking about my hunger signals with my dietician a lot because I am not great at listening to them. Sometimes it’s almost as if I am trying to punish my body for being hungry. “I just fed you! You shouldn’t be hungry so soon!” But if I’m hungry, that’s a sign I need to eat. It could also be a sign that I’m not eating enough during my meals—perhaps I need more protein in the morning or to eat a bigger lunch. But these solutions to being hungry do not entail not eating because they don’t fit into my diet plan. They are all about eating and eating more because that’s what my body is telling me it needs, and I need to honor that.
Figuring Out Snacks
I have been struggling with my snack routine. This is another part of unlearning diet culture because I’m so stuck in the mode of thinking that my snacks must be super-duper healthy: string cheese and nuts, apples and peanut butter, Greek yogurt, etc. Over the past few months, though, I have started to realize that one of the reasons I’m not eating when I’m hungry is because I am so uninspired by my snacks. And when I’m hungry but what’s in my house isn’t something I want to eat? I just won’t eat. I’m like that stubborn three-year-old who is like “but I’m not huuuuuungry for aaaaaapples” while crying on the floor and wailing about being hungry.
Thankfully, I’m the adult here and I get to choose the snacks I want. My dietician and I brainstormed some fun snack ideas that I could try, like chips and salsa, Teddy Grahams with fruit, string cheese and chocolate-covered pomegranates. I could even make a Little Debbie dessert part of my snack routine—she just encouraged me to pair it with something that had protein or healthy fats, which is only to make sure my blood sugar doesn’t spike from this snack. It’s not about only eating the “healthy” stuff (because food does not hold moral values; there are no good or bad foods); it’s about eating in a way that feels satisfying to me and making sure it aligns with my goals of keeping my blood sugar numbers and cholesterol in a normal range.
Quick & Easy Meals
I am the queen of pizza and ordering out. I don’t love cooking (especially cooking for one) and I can find every excuse in the book not to do it. And, of course, with my diet culture mindset, I always feel like I need to be cooking elaborate healthy meals that include lean meats, perfectly roasted veggies, and healthy carbs. But my dietician once again showed me that I’m making this way more complicated than it has to be. I need to stop fighting against my tendencies and learn to work with them.
So, I don’t love cooking and prefer very easy meals? Let’s try frozen chicken nuggets, a veggie that can be heated up in a saucepan, and rice that can be nuked in the microwave. Let’s try breakfast for dinner: scrambled eggs, toast, and sausage. Let’s try a frozen skillet meal that I can just pour into a pan and let cook up. It doesn’t need to look a certain way, just because this is how I view it in my head. The most important thing is that it’s something I will enjoy and will provide the balanced meal I need.
(And if I do need to blow off my dinner plans for a night and order takeout? I can. It’s not a moral failing to do so.)
Are you in tune with your hunger cues?
I really like the thoughtful way you worded your trigger warning.
Elisabeth posted about roasting frozen broccoli, and it was a gem changer for me. Not at all labor intensive and so delish. I also LOVE Perdue frozen dinosaur nuggets, especially in the air fryer– do you have an air fryer? So easy and perfect for frozens. Kroger makes a store bran of buffalo cauliflower bites that are SO GOOD air fried in a pinch– I eat them in tacos when the fam is having ground beef and when I want a savory snack.
I do have an air fryer! I need to make better use of it. And I need to really spend more time in my grocery’s frozen section to see what is available! Making it foolproof is what works best for me.
I agree with Sarah — the content warning at the top was very kind and well said.
Hunger cues are such a mystery to me. I feel like past episodes of dieting have really screwed up my ability to tell when I’m hungry. And you’re so right about uninspiring snacks making it harder to respond to those cues! That’s such a valuable insight.
I am in tune with my hunger cues (in my office, I have an entire cabinet devoted to snack food – nuts, pretzels, peanut butter, crackers, and leftover Halloween candy are the goodies right now), but sometimes there’s not a lot I can do about them. So, for example, I work until about 4:30 every day. I need to get home, walk the dog, and workout before starting dinner (I like to start by 5:30, but most of the time it’s close to 6). I am usually FAMISHED by the end of the work day, but I can’t eat a ton before I exercise, so I’m generally undercaloried during the workout and am grumpy when I start dinner. I’m sure there’s a solution to this, but I haven’t found it yet!
Hmm, that is a conundrum! I would definitely need to eat something before a later-in-the-day workout, but I’m not sure what would work best with your body – maybe a snack around 3:30?
Again, thank you so much for sharing all this. It’s very insightful! I am NOT in tune with my hunger cues after years of bingeing and not allowing myself to get hungry! And like you I am sometimes annoyed with my stomach if I am hungry after I ate, like “YOU JUST ATE!” like, you, a lot to unlearn. It’s good to know I am not alone!!!!
That is a great idea with the snacks and dinner! Eating what you actually want will make you more satisfied too!
It’s hard to unlearn this stuff! It is so ingrained in the way we think about food and our bodies. It really helps to have a dietician to bounce ideas off of and get more insight into WHY I might be hungry even an hour after eating lunch – and from someone who does not buy into diet culture. It’s been a good realization to have because now I can start the process of unlearning THIS part of diet culture.
I love this post.
Me & my hunger cues relationship status – COMPLICATED. LOL
I need to do a revamp of my whole diet – like ASAP… but who has the time, right? LOL
Start small! It really doesn’t need to be a whole revamp – for me, I started by adding more fruit to my diet because I just wasn’t eating a lot of fruits/veggies. Working with a dietician has been INCREDIBLY helpful and my sessions have been fully covered under my health insurance!
Reading this reminded me that of the MANY women I know and have known in my life, I think I know 1 who does not have a complicated relationship with food. 1. That is my sister, and it doesn’t hurt that she is naturally thin. But she’s the only adult woman I’ve ever known who, when she finishes her sandwich, if she wants more, will eat more. She doesn’t feel badly about it, she doesn’t talk about it, she doesn’t care. My step mom is borderline eating disordered on the restrictive side, my mom was eating disordered on the purging side. And my other sister, (they are twins) who is also naturally thin and raised in the same household, has a terrible relationship with food.
I’m glad you are working on improving your relationship with food. That is such a worthy self care project. Diet culture is so insidious.
I meant to say my mom was on the binging side, not the purging side. I got the two mixed in my mind. Sigh.
I think it is hard for women, especially, to have healthy relationships with food based on our society and culture. Even thin women feel the same type of pressure to look a certain way – or judge those who may look a certain way, which comes from a deep sense of insecurity within. Thankfully, I think the anti-diet culture movement is really gaining ground and more women are breaking free from this idea that we all need to eat a certain way and look a certain way. I hope that leads to a lot healthier relationships toward food (and healthy in the overall well-being sense, NOT the dieting sense).
I love the work you are doing with your dietician, and thank you so much for sharing with us! I agree, there is so much unlearning to be done for, if not all, then most of us. One thing I have noticed is that friends that I love have a tendency not only to categorize foods into good and bad categories, but also THEMSELVES, i.e., “I was being so good, I didn’t have x.” It makes me want to wrap the world up in my fuzzy cardigan and keep them safe. Food is food, it can be delicious and a great pleasure, and I hate that so many (most?) of us have been made to feel bad about it and about our beautiful, unique, loveable bodies. xoxoxo thanks Stephany, for this thoughtful and insightful post.
Yes! We always have to make excuses for why we’re eating X or say things like, “Don’t worry – I’m going for a run in the morning to work off this piece of cake.” It’s just the insidious way diet culture affects our lives, and I try to do my best to gently remind people that such language can be fatphobic and harmful. I think it’s very hard for people to get out of that mindset!
Well… hunger cues. I’m kind of in tune with them. But you know what I don’t have- the ability to know when I’ve eaten enough. I’m really good at undereating or overeating, but I can’t seem to find a balance. I remember I once asked my husband, “How do you know when to stop eating?” I guess years of disordered eating screwed that up for me- I’m not sure if it’s something I can ever re-learn or not (I’m thinking, not.) Anyway… your dietician sounds great. I’m so glad you found just what you were looking for!
Oh, that’s very interesting! I am pretty good at knowing when to stop – I get to a fullness level that feels comfortable and I know if I keep eating, I will be uncomfortable and I don’t like that feeling. I think you COULD learn how to understand fullness levels (this was something my dietician and I discussed early on, but we came to realize that I’m pretty good at understanding my fullness levels).
This is awesome. First of all, I know so well the monotony of “good for you snacks”. Look I’ll happily eat a Greek yogurt once in a while but I don’t want it everyday.
I’m better with it now, but I really blew out my hunger cues from running. I was always so hungry, and I worked with a sports dietitian (someone who was specifically working on athletic performance, not at all what you’re doing which is working with someone who’s specifically working on YOU) and it was a bunch of eat this eat that so I ended up eating a ton of food that I didn’t like which in turn made me eat the foods that I liked on top of that…what a mess.
I recently saw a dietitian, as well, and she wasn’t particularly helpful, but it was still worthwhile (especially because it was fee through my insurance, working at a hospital). She encouraged me to eat more protein every day, which is something I’ve really been able to focus on and which helps me to stay fuller longer so that I don’t feel the need to snack mindlessly. I’ve also started trying to make better snacking choices and to be mindful of portion sizes, which is something I have a really hard time with!
I don’t think my dietician practices in Ohio, otherwise, I would send you her information. All of my sessions have been free through insurance, which has been AWESOME. She is so positive and kind and anti-diet culture, and she makes me feel so good.
I would say I am in tune with my hunger signals and also try to ward off hunger pangs by eating small snacks throughout the day. This is challenging when I am traveling as I don’t really have any control over when I can/will eat. So I try to have lots of snacks with me to keep my blood sugar from falling off a cliff!
I’m so glad that you’ve had such an awesome experience with your dietician!!
Thanks so much for sharing your journey and these insights from your work with your dietician. I think “undoing “a lot of disordered thinking is a great way to get to a better place with diet and nutrition.
I am pretty in tune with my hunger cues and I am a little bit like J’s sister – if I had a sandwich and I am still hungry, I will keep eating. I don’t feel bad about having seconds. In fact, I often feel that I am eating a lot more than other people. I consider myself lucky that I am not burdened with negative thoughts around food because I know so many people who are.
Keep doing the good work, Stephany!
Oh this whole blog post…
I am struggling a lot with my eating habits.
Rarely do I know if I am really hungry or just have an appetite. That sometimes I am starving from one minute to the next (often a migraine symptom). I am trying this intuitive eating thing. It is so hard but it really helps when you know what the body needs.
And my real problem is I eat a lot. Like two or three portions. I am always trying to cook and freeze and end up eating it all. so annoying.
I’ve had two doctors now tell me that a nutritionist might be helpful to figuring it out…
Thank you, this post makes me think again that this is an area I need to pay more attention too.
I have had really great luck with my dietician and I think it’s a great idea to seek one out for yourself so you can get a better handle on fullness levels, hunger cues, AND how to combat migraines with your diet. (Not sure if that is possible!) I hope you can find a good nutritionist for you!
Stephany, I, too, love a) how you phrased your trigger warning, and b) that you shared so much about your journey on this path. Your dietitian sounds like a perfect match for where you are in your life right now. I have a lot of challenges around food, eating, etc., and some of them are physical, not just psychological. That makes it hard, sometimes, to piece out what is something I cannot eat because of the physical ramifications, or me telling myself, “You shouldn’t eat that.” I have a bad history with nutrition consults and so I’m reluctant to go that route, again. I like to think if I could find someone like your dietitian, I’d be more open to it…
I feel so lucky to have found a great dietician! I would just recommend reading their bios and getting a feel for the way they talk about their work and the people they help. This dietician’s bio just resonated with me and I felt like she was someone who wouldn’t give me all sorts of diet culture-y language.