It’s been almost five months since I last checked in with you all about what I’m learning (and unlearning) from my monthly dietician sessions. One of the big things that has happened in the past few months is that I got bloodwork done. I passed along the lab results to my dietician, so we can work together to figure out a plan to help improve my cholesterol, glucose, and A1C numbers. I am quickly veering into the territory of Type 2 diabetes, and I don’t want that. It feels less scary to clean up my diet with a dietician by my side—and a dietician who is anti-diet culture and wants to help me get to a better place without falling into my old patterns.
There was a week between when I got my lab results and when I spoke to my dietician, and in that time, I was spiraling. I had this mindset that I would have to be on a strict eating plan, one that would take the joy out of my life and that I wouldn’t be able to do for more than a few weeks. And then I’d fail, and feel terrible about myself, and beat myself up, and tell myself all kinds of mean things like how I’m never going to be healthy and going to die early from a heart attack or something. (I can be awful to myself sometimes. Truly.) I brought those concerns to my dietician, who is almost like a therapist to me at times and helps me work through some of my thought patterns when it relates to diet culture. She reminded me that we do not need to make this a big thing. (In fact, I don’t have to make any changes if I don’t want to. I mean, I do want to because I want to be healthy and feel better. But I am fully in control here.) We will not change how I eat in any huge, life-changing way. We will not be counting calories, macros, or points. Together, we’re going to look at how I’m eating and figure out where I can make small, sustainable changes.
I really love my dietician, you guys. She is such a warm, kind soul and makes me feel like I can make changes when it comes to the way I eat. And I have! And I will continue to do so.
Now, let’s get into some of the things I’m working on:
Eating healthy does not mean I’m engaging in diet culture
My dietician and I had a come-to-Jesus discussion about this idea. I was talking to her about how sometimes I resist snacks that would be deemed “healthy” for me, like apples with peanut butter, veggies with dip, string cheese, nuts, etc. There’s something inherently “diet-y” about those foods, and those are the foods I would tell myself I should eat to be a good person. (Because all thin people are inherently good people, right?) Two things happen in my head when I’m resisting like this:
- I scoff at myself for thinking I enjoy eating this way – “you’ll be back to your old, unhealthy patterns soon enough,” my mean brain tells me
- I feel like I am engaging in diet culture, abort abort abort!!!
When I brought up this idea to my dietician, she said something so profound that I immediately pulled out my phone and typed it into my Notes app: Diet culture is what gets in the way of me being true to myself.
Diet culture is not eating veggies and dip. Anti-diet culture is not snacking on chocolate. I engage in diet culture when I do things that are not in alignment with what I truly want in the moment. And sometimes, I do want a piece of fruit with string cheese. Other times, I want a bowl of chips with a few pieces of chocolate. What my dietician has been trying to drill into me, again and again, is this idea that I am in charge of my body and my needs. I don’t ever have to eat another vegetable if I don’t want to. But truly understanding my cravings and what gives me satisfaction, both from a physical and an emotional place, can be transformative in the way I approach my eating habits.
Making breakfast work for me
One of the things my dietician immediately pinpointed as an opportunity for change is breakfast. It’s the most important meal of the day, right? Breakfast can be a struggle for me because while I do usually wake up hungry and need something to eat pretty quickly after waking up, I do not gravitate toward heart-healthy, low-sugar breakfast options. The problem with breakfast is that I want it to be quick and easy, and I need variety. On a typical week, I would usually eat a healthier breakfast option Monday-Wednesday (think vanilla Greek yogurt with fresh strawberries and granola) and then opt for breakfasts that were satisfying at the moment but not all that filling overall, like sugary cereal (Cinnamon Toast Crunch is a fave!), McDonald’s Sausage McMuffins, Starbucks breakfast sandwiches, etc. These are breakfast options that I can have all of the time if I want, but I think they would be so much more satisfying if they weren’t a regular occurrence in my diet.
So my dietician and I got to work. We first decided that I needed to have a few options at my disposal because I crave variety, and then we figured out what options would be Stephany-proof (aka, I wouldn’t find an excuse for why I couldn’t have it for breakfast). We settled on:
- Apple cinnamon instant oatmeal – it’s delicious and two little packets are very satisfying
- Jimmy Dean Delights English Muffin sandwiches – this is a healthier version of their products with turkey sausage and egg whites
- Frosted Mini-Wheats cereal – adds a little more fiber/protein to my breakfast
I cycle through these options throughout the week so I always have something different to enjoy each morning, which I really like. Eventually, I would like to find some less sugary options, but we’re taking baby steps here.
Frozen meal lunches
Figuring out lunch has been an ongoing struggle for me, way back to the days I worked in an office. I don’t like salads or sandwiches or soups, which really limits my lunch choices. So we’ve been working on options for me—we started with the idea of snack lunches (turkey roll-ups, cheese and crackers, veggies and dip, etc.) and then I was trying leftovers for a while but that could quickly fall apart if I didn’t meal plan correctly. During my most recent appointment, my dietician asked me what I wanted from lunch. What, specifically, was I looking for? I had to think about this for a while! What would make lunchtime satisfying for me? And what was it about the other lunch options I craved (like pizza rolls) that were appealing to me? I came up with three characteristics:
- quick
- warm
- lots of variety
And that’s when she brought up frozen meals. They’re warm, something I can easily zap in the microwave, and I can literally choose from dozens of options every week. Genius! Of course, I was a little hesitant about this suggestion because I used to eat frozen meals all the time… but I would try to find the healthiest meal in the freezer and they never filled me up for very long. Think: Healthy Choice and Lean Cuisine. I’m not about that diet lifestyle anymore. But we talked it over and my dietician was very quick to suggest that I have two of those meals for lunch or supplement the frozen meal with something else, like veggies, rice, fruit, etc. (Side note: The first time my dietician suggested eating a bigger portion of something to make it more filling, like two string cheeses rather than one, my mind was blown. Diet culture and its tiny portion sizes have really broken my brain!)
Since then, I’ve been having about two of these frozen meals weekly with a big bowl of veggies (and filling out the rest of the week with dinner leftovers). It’s very satisfying! And it’s been fun to peruse the freezer aisle and pick out some yummy choices every week. So far, I’m a huge fan of Amy’s pesto tortellini bowl and this smokehouse meat and potatoes meal from Devour. Yum, yum!
What’s a go-to breakfast for you?
Your dietician sounds AMAZING. I love the reminder that you don’t “have” to eat any certain way. You could drive through McDonald’s every day for breakfast if you wanted- no one is stopping you, and it wouldn’t make you a bad person. But you’re CHOOSING not to, because you want to improve your health.
For some weird reason, lunch is always a hard meal for me. Nothing really seems appealing, and I wish I could just take a pill that would count as lunch. Lately I’ve been drinking a protein shake at work, which I thought was the perfect solution (it’s just a scoop of protein powder mixed with water.) But then I’m hungry when I get home and want to binge on pretzels or chips. So… I guess this isn’t really working. Sigh. I’m going to try asking myself the question your dietician asked you, and see if I can come up with something.
Breakfast is probably my favorite meal- oatmeal, waffles on Sunday, today I had a multi-grain bagel with peanut butter. Yum. Why can’t I just eat breakfast three times a day.
Yes, the choice is always there! She has really helped me reframe the way I think about how I eat and, in effect, how I’m actually eating, too!
Lunch is such a hard meal for us, whyyyy! I have tried everything to figure it out, but it remains my nemesis.
Your dietician is an absolute gem. I love her and I don’t even know her.
All the meal suggestions sound really good, Stephany!
HAHA – I love her as well! I told her at our most recent appointment that our sessions feel a little bit like therapy, and she noted that other people have said similar things!
I am so glad that she is suggesting things that make sense to you and that you can get on board with! It seems like she is very intuitive and is overall very positive! I often actually crave veggies, especially after a big work out, but they just don’t fill me up as much, so like Jenny, I often will snack afterward. Case in point, today I had a salad for lunch but then a half an hour later I had tortilla chips with cottage cheese because I was not full! So I guess I need to work on getting more protein and fat into the salad in the first place so I don’t have to binge later in order to feel fuller.
Isn’t it so frustrating to eat what you think is a filling, satisfying meal only to be hungry an hour or so later? I always try to remind myself that my body is not a robot and some days, it just needs more fuel than other days. And especially for you, with all the activity you’re getting, I’m sure it’s been a journey to figure out how to properly fuel yourself throughout each day!
Interesting what you’ve learned. Somehow the word *diet* seems like a curse. I don’t like the idea of being on a diet, but like the idea of eating a healthy diet. My breakfasts are either non-fat plain Greek yogurt with fresh fruit or old-fashion oatmeal with walnuts + maple syrup. Occasionally I have whole grain toast with peanut butter. With black coffee no matter what I eat. The coffee is important.
Yes, the coffee is vitally important! I can’t go without my coffee, but I *do* have to doctor it a bit. Hehe.
It is crazy the way the word diet is thrown around like a curse, but it really is just what you eat on any given day. But we’ve twisted the meaning so much in our society that now it means something much more sinister, if I can be so dramatic.
I LOVE breakfast. Peanut butter toast with slices of banana. Oatmeal with fruit, yogurt, nuts, chocolate. Egg and ham sandwiches. Waffles. Scrambled eggs. Yogurt with granola/seeds/nuts. Yum. I could eat breakfast for breakfast, lunch, and supper.
I agree with Nicole. I’ve never met your dietician but she’s clearly amazing. Also, you are an inspiration for reaching out and making the effort to see someone. That takes work and time and courage! And I think her advice – and your openness to heal from the horrendous impacts diet culture has on almost every single woman out there – is tremendous.
Elisabeth, this is such a deeply kind comment. Thank you so much! It’s funny – I really thought I had healed from the effects of diet culture and was firmly in my anti-diet phase of life…. but then I start seeing a dietician and realize I still have a lot of ingrained beliefs that need work. It’s a lifelong process, I’m suspecting!
All of your breakfast ideas sound DELICIOUS! I love waffles so much but I rarely have them. WHYYY!
It is astonishing and upsetting to me how insidious diet culture is — it’s wormed its way into so many aspects of our thinking, I find it nearly impossible to untangle myself from it. I love that your dietician is helping you figure things out — she sounds amazing, and I really appreciate your detailing the process.
One thing you mentioned that really stuck with me is about how having some of those delicious fast-food breakfast options would be more satisfying if you did it less frequently. This is something I’m trying to figure out for myself and my family — the idea of “treats,” and how to make them feel special (as in, not eating them every day/week) without making them seem forbidden (and therefore tantalizing). I have not made much progress, but it’s on my mind. The only strategy I’ve been successful in implementing is about Starbucks. There was a point when we were going to Starbucks ALL the time, and my kid would get a sugary drink and a sugary snack, which is great! But it became a regular thing, and I don’t like that. Not only does it feel like a less healthy choice, it’s expensive! So I told her we can go to Starbucks once a month, and that seems to help. She knows we will go, so that removes some of the urgency around wanting it. But she also knows it’s a once-a-month thing, which means that she’s more judicious about asking to go there, and there’s a lot less whining at/wheedling me to go all the time. Now I have to figure out how to apply that same principle to MYSELF around some of the treat foods I want to eat less of!
Yes, Suzanne, I totally get where you’re coming from on the subject of treats and how to make them special but not forbidden. I feel the same way! I think there are some ideas out there that by NOT making treats forbidden (aka, I can have McDonald’s breakfast whenever I want!), we will be less inclined to eat them. That… has not been my experience. But telling myself I can have it once a month does help a lot. I’m still allowed to have the treat, but it makes it really fun to figure out which day of the month I want to have it. And I also give myself the permission to have it more than once if that’s what I feel my body wants – aka, not beating myself up if I *do* get it twice in one month. That’s also key!
Stephany, I do not need the variety of foods that you need. I have had the same thing for breakfast and lunch for years. For breakfast I have Greek yogurt with homemade granola and whatever fruit I can get at the store. If I want any other breakfast items, they will be breakfast for dinner. LOL.
Congrats on continuing your journey to healthiness!!
I wish I could be like you! It’s exhausting trying to make sure I have enough variety in my meals so I don’t get bored.
I loved reading this, and agree with everyone else that your dietician sounds amazing. It sounds like you connected with *just* the right person and I love when that happens for anyone.
Breakfast can also be a challenge for me because I’m not hungry right away so I just have coffee but then want to get right to work and not take the time to eat. A few things that I really enjoy are: overnight oats (oatmeal, milk, cinnamon which I think heat up and stir in peanut butter, top with pecans and bananas – it’s so filling and satisfying) and if I prep them the night before, or even earlier in the morning they are very quick, or an egg sandwhich on an english muffin. I don’t always love taking the time but I think about how satisfying it will be and how much better I will feel. And I try to listen to a podcast, book, or message from a friend (Marco Polo) to make it more enjoyable. In fact I just finished a breakfast sandwich!
Lunch can be a challenge for me. I want something filling and DELICIOUS but I also want to spend zero time prepping it so that I can get every minute of my work day, or spend my lunch break reading and eating and not cooking. The best situation is where we have leftovers, either from a big bean/lentil soup we made on the weekends or something I prepped to have as a lunch that week. But when we don’t have those I’m often adrift and cobble together something that is less satisfying.
Yes, the same thing happens to me with breakfast sometimes! I’ll drink my coffee and then jump right into work and forget about breakfast until, like 10am. So I have to set an eating schedule for myself, lol, so make sure I’m eating every few hours.
I need to play around with overnight oats more! I think that could be a great option for me, especially because there is so much variety there!
I am so glad you found this dietician, she sounds amazing. Diet culture is so insidious, and the negative self talk can be so damaging. I mean, do we really want to be the kind of person that talks to people that way? Why then, talk to ourselves this way? I try to talk myself out of being mean with this thought, and sometimes it helps, but not always.
My husband really struggles with his A1C as well. It’s genetic, and SO frustrating. He’s lost a lot of weight and that didn’t really help him. What does help him is exercise, so I’m glad that your HIIT class is fun for you! He’s pretty careful with his carbs, and what he tells himself is “I CAN have this, I CHOOSE not to.” And like all of us, he has days when he really limits the carbs, and days when he lets some in.
I’m like you in that I like variety in my meals. I enjoy peanut butter on toast with berries or bananas (or both if I’m really hungry), scrambled eggs and toast, an omelet or scramble with veggies and toast on the side, yogurt and fruit, or cream of barley cereal with fruit and nuts. I used to have bacon with my eggs sometimes, but have been trying to cut back on processed meat, so I haven’t bought any bacon in awhile. Sad emoji, I love bacon. Lunch is often leftovers. I had a bad habit of getting a little bag of chips and eating that for lunch, but have recently given that up. I had a wrap yesterday, and usually I would have had chips with it, but instead I bought myself some pre-cut cantaloupe, and it was really good! I mean, for melon out of season.
The negative self-talk can be so bad! I would never, ever say the things I say to myself to a friend. Why is it acceptable to talk to myself this way? Argh.
All of your breakfast ideas sound delicious! I also love scrambled eggs and toast, and got away from eating that in the past few months. There’s something so satisfying about making yourself a delicious, warm breakfast!
I am so happy you found this dietician and that she’s not just working on changing your diet with you but that she helps you challenge some deeply rooted mental barriers when it comes to eating. I think the mental side is often completely neglected but so much more important to deal with than just changing what you put in your mouth.
Agreed, San! Like most things, it’s all about addressing the root cause of an issue so we can have a healthier outlook. <3
Your dietician sounds like an absolute GEN!! I am glad that you found her! She sounds like such a wise person! I am such a creature of habit that I can eat the same thing every day for years on end and have no issues. I had recently switched to having scrambled eggs that I make in this little ceramic microwave thing that I got off Amazon. I have that with a piece of toast with butter. But then I got a little tired of it recently (it’s a bit more work to beat the eggs, etc) so this week I am back to having oatmeal (I made a big batch over the weekend that lasts for 5 days) with cinnamon and sliced banana. I absolutely need to eat breakfast or I will be a total crank!!
I really wish I was someone who could eat the same breakfast over and over again and not get sick of it. It would make my life so much easier, ha!
It sounds like you are really lucky to have found that dietician and how she is helping you finding ways that work for you and at the same time challenges you. It is so so hard changing eating habits. I type this while I am very full because I ate too many cookies. Sigh.
I am already looking forward to what else you learn and how you implement.
I consider myself so lucky to have found a dietician who is so encouraging and helping me to unlearn so many of my previous diet culture issues!
I am a big weirdo because I get into food ruts– I will eat the same thing every day for maybe a year and then never want it again. Right now, my ideal breakfast is a peanut butter coconut Perfect bar–
They’re filling enough that if I have one in the car after I drop off all the kids, I’m not hungry for the entire rest of the morning.
OMG, Sarah, I go through the same thing! I won’t eat something for that long, but once I get sick of something, I cannot eat it for ANYTHING. I need a long, long break, lol. I feel you!
Stephany, I am SO GLAD you found this dietician. She clearly understands where you are coming from, and she LISTENS. I have a rather fraught history with nutritionists/dietitians myself, so… yeah, I’m glad you got a good one. I have my own ‘stuff’ that I won’t get into here, but just know that you are not alone in trying to figure out how to nourish your body and your mind in a way that works for you. A quick scan of the comments on this post makes that abundantly clear. <3
Pretty sure I say this every time, but thank you for sharing this with us, and I am so thankful you have her! I really needed the first reminder about eating healthy does not mean diet culture. Sometimes I actually want the healthy thing. Shocker!
My go-to breakfast is an open face PB & banana sandwich!